Cathy Fitch: “Gauchos” means more than “Culottes” in Spanish
Apr 28, 2016 6:08:48 GMT -5
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Post by Cathy Fitch on Apr 28, 2016 6:08:48 GMT -5
; It means Victory!
*Bryan “Buzz” Worthy is sitting on the set of his talk show “What’s the Buzz?” He has on his trademark lime green sports jacket with the WCF logo stitched onto its breast pocket and the stalwart smile all true professionals put on when they know they have their work cut out for them.*
Buzz: Good evening. “What’s the Buzz?” comes to you tonight from Mexico City, Mexico, where this Sunday WCF Slam will broadcast live the first round of its Trios Cup tournament. A record sixteen teams are competing for the right to main event at the Asesinato De Mayo Pay Per View. The winners of that match earn shots at the World and Tag Team titles as well as officially becoming WCF’s Trios Champions.
Disembodied Female Voice to Worthy’s Right: Plus a silver cup to eat pudding out of.
*The camera pans in that direction revealing a blonde woman in a red poncho with black trim and a black campero hat with red trim. It’s Cathy Fitch.*
Cathy Fitch: I mean you don’t have to eat pudding out of it I wouldn’t maybe cottage cheese or something low cal it isn’t easy watching this figure Buzz. But others have- eaten pudding out of the cup I mean not watching my figure though lots of people have done that so I’m contradicting myself a little-I know Jonny Fly ate pudding in honor of his good buddy Polar Phantasm speaking of cottage cheese Phantasm’s kind of a husky guy you see thick around the thighs but he’s the one who started that whole pudding gag you can look it up.
(And she’s right; you can.)
*The shot widens to include both Cathy and Bryan, who’s still wearing his game face.*
Buzz: At this time I’d like to welcome one of the participants in the Trios Cup Tournament, Cathy Fitch.
*Cathy tips her campero to the audience.*
Buzz: Miss Fitch just joined the Wrestling Championship Federation; debuting at its most recent Pay Per View: Aftermath. What was that experience like?
Cathy: It was amazing I never wrestled in front of that many people usually it’s just the camera crew in the apartment maybe sometimes there would be a party but I didn’t work those much because of certain “expectations” from the people tipping and that’s not why I got into this business Buzz. But yeah Aftermath was fantastic winning my first WCF match and earning the right to captain my Trios Cup team Team DarkHorse has been the greatest moment of my life and it’s only going to get better onward and upward!
*Worthy nods curtly but empathetically. He’s been there.*
Buzz: Your introduction to WCF was not without controversy, however; as in the days leading up to your match you admitted to attempting to conspire with one of your opponents, Richie Shag, to help his team win.
Cathy: I sure did, and it was the right call. This business is about getting your name out there you got to make a strong impression otherwise who cares? What else is there about that match that’s “buzzworthy” about other than Bitchie Slag missing out on the opportunity of a lifetime i.e. me?
Buzz: James Chevalier’s strong performance?
*Fitch looks at Bryan like he suddenly started speaking Esperanto. The host, undaunted, continues the interview (in English).*
Buzz: Aren’t you worried your aborted plan will give you a bad reputation among your fellow wrestlers; that you’re someone who is not to be trusted? Why should your current partners believe you have the group’s best interest at heart, and that you’re sincere about helping them win the Trios Cup?
Cathy: Because the deposits on the gaucho outfits are non-refundable.
*Pause.*
Buzz: I see.
*He’s lying.*
Cathy: Look, Buzz, I am putting all of my everything into Team DarkHorse . I named it and I came up with our theme and entrance music which is “Dark Horse” by Katy Perry featuring Juicy J. I Tweeted Katy Perry’s agent’s dog’s chiropractor personally to see if she’d come to Slam and sing our song live when we entered.
Buzz: And?
Cathy: I got as far as the dog before getting blocked. But I’m hustling, Buzz. I’m doing work. As WCF’s only Six Tool Player I will use them all to make Bad News Benson, Snake Venom, and myself Trios Cup Champions.
*Worthy, surprisingly, seems convinced.*
Buzz: You mentioned the two men you’ll be fighting alongside this Sunday. Can you talk about how the three of you are preparing for the match?
*She shrugs, unconcerned.*
Cathy: Oh, I haven’t seen Benson or Snake since I beat them at Aftermath. We’ll hook up at some point here in Mexico City and do some rehearsing for our entrance and train some too plus watch some tapes of Adam Young and his latest batch of cousins. You wouldn’t happen to have their digits would you Buzz?
Buzz: Digits?
Cathy: Yeah Bad News Benson’s and Snake Venom’s numbers. I can’t find them on Twitter or Facebook or Instagram or Snapchat or Tinder or anywhere. I know they’re both “old school” but this is 2016 they should have some kind of presence on social media that’s something we will work on going forward as a team.
*Bryan looks perplexed.*
Buzz: Cathy, are you saying you haven’t seen or even spoken to your Trios Cup partners at all since Aftermath?
Cathy: Nope but they’ll be in touch. They saw up close and personal what happened to the last guy who jilted me. He got Fitchslapped! I buried Richie Shag so deep Adele is rolling in it those two knobs have to know I’m the best chance they have of moving on in this tournament. I am the Six Tool Player the H-A-W-T Commodity Pro Wrestling’s Pin Up Girl Cathy Fitch.
Buzz: It’s good to be confident, Cathy, but will that be enough? The Young Family is a close, cohesive unit, with experience working together, and led by one of the most ruthless men ever to set foot in a WCF ring, the Villain himself, Adam Young. If you, Bad News Benson, and Snake Venom can’t get on the same page before Slam Sunday, do you really think you have a chance of winning?
*Miss Fitch studies the earnest reporter for a moment. Then she starts to grin.*
Cathy: You’re more worried about this than I am Buzz that’s sweet I heard you were a nice guy no killer instinct though that’s probably why you’re where you are and I’m on my way to being history as the first female Trios Cup Champion and second female world champion in WCF SPOILERS as team captain of Team DarkHorse it is my prerogative to get the pinfall or submission that earns me that shot. Bad News Benson and Snake Venom are my posse’, and together, we will ride to Asesinato De Mayo and capture that silver cup! Team DarkHorse, Saddle Up!
*Bryan “Buzz” Worthy is sitting on the set of his talk show “What’s the Buzz?” He has on his trademark lime green sports jacket with the WCF logo stitched onto its breast pocket and the stalwart smile all true professionals put on when they know they have their work cut out for them.*
Buzz: Good evening. “What’s the Buzz?” comes to you tonight from Mexico City, Mexico, where this Sunday WCF Slam will broadcast live the first round of its Trios Cup tournament. A record sixteen teams are competing for the right to main event at the Asesinato De Mayo Pay Per View. The winners of that match earn shots at the World and Tag Team titles as well as officially becoming WCF’s Trios Champions.
Disembodied Female Voice to Worthy’s Right: Plus a silver cup to eat pudding out of.
*The camera pans in that direction revealing a blonde woman in a red poncho with black trim and a black campero hat with red trim. It’s Cathy Fitch.*
Cathy Fitch: I mean you don’t have to eat pudding out of it I wouldn’t maybe cottage cheese or something low cal it isn’t easy watching this figure Buzz. But others have- eaten pudding out of the cup I mean not watching my figure though lots of people have done that so I’m contradicting myself a little-I know Jonny Fly ate pudding in honor of his good buddy Polar Phantasm speaking of cottage cheese Phantasm’s kind of a husky guy you see thick around the thighs but he’s the one who started that whole pudding gag you can look it up.
(And she’s right; you can.)
*The shot widens to include both Cathy and Bryan, who’s still wearing his game face.*
Buzz: At this time I’d like to welcome one of the participants in the Trios Cup Tournament, Cathy Fitch.
*Cathy tips her campero to the audience.*
Buzz: Miss Fitch just joined the Wrestling Championship Federation; debuting at its most recent Pay Per View: Aftermath. What was that experience like?
Cathy: It was amazing I never wrestled in front of that many people usually it’s just the camera crew in the apartment maybe sometimes there would be a party but I didn’t work those much because of certain “expectations” from the people tipping and that’s not why I got into this business Buzz. But yeah Aftermath was fantastic winning my first WCF match and earning the right to captain my Trios Cup team Team DarkHorse has been the greatest moment of my life and it’s only going to get better onward and upward!
*Worthy nods curtly but empathetically. He’s been there.*
Buzz: Your introduction to WCF was not without controversy, however; as in the days leading up to your match you admitted to attempting to conspire with one of your opponents, Richie Shag, to help his team win.
Cathy: I sure did, and it was the right call. This business is about getting your name out there you got to make a strong impression otherwise who cares? What else is there about that match that’s “buzzworthy” about other than Bitchie Slag missing out on the opportunity of a lifetime i.e. me?
Buzz: James Chevalier’s strong performance?
*Fitch looks at Bryan like he suddenly started speaking Esperanto. The host, undaunted, continues the interview (in English).*
Buzz: Aren’t you worried your aborted plan will give you a bad reputation among your fellow wrestlers; that you’re someone who is not to be trusted? Why should your current partners believe you have the group’s best interest at heart, and that you’re sincere about helping them win the Trios Cup?
Cathy: Because the deposits on the gaucho outfits are non-refundable.
*Pause.*
Buzz: I see.
*He’s lying.*
Cathy: Look, Buzz, I am putting all of my everything into Team DarkHorse . I named it and I came up with our theme and entrance music which is “Dark Horse” by Katy Perry featuring Juicy J. I Tweeted Katy Perry’s agent’s dog’s chiropractor personally to see if she’d come to Slam and sing our song live when we entered.
Buzz: And?
Cathy: I got as far as the dog before getting blocked. But I’m hustling, Buzz. I’m doing work. As WCF’s only Six Tool Player I will use them all to make Bad News Benson, Snake Venom, and myself Trios Cup Champions.
*Worthy, surprisingly, seems convinced.*
Buzz: You mentioned the two men you’ll be fighting alongside this Sunday. Can you talk about how the three of you are preparing for the match?
*She shrugs, unconcerned.*
Cathy: Oh, I haven’t seen Benson or Snake since I beat them at Aftermath. We’ll hook up at some point here in Mexico City and do some rehearsing for our entrance and train some too plus watch some tapes of Adam Young and his latest batch of cousins. You wouldn’t happen to have their digits would you Buzz?
Buzz: Digits?
Cathy: Yeah Bad News Benson’s and Snake Venom’s numbers. I can’t find them on Twitter or Facebook or Instagram or Snapchat or Tinder or anywhere. I know they’re both “old school” but this is 2016 they should have some kind of presence on social media that’s something we will work on going forward as a team.
*Bryan looks perplexed.*
Buzz: Cathy, are you saying you haven’t seen or even spoken to your Trios Cup partners at all since Aftermath?
Cathy: Nope but they’ll be in touch. They saw up close and personal what happened to the last guy who jilted me. He got Fitchslapped! I buried Richie Shag so deep Adele is rolling in it those two knobs have to know I’m the best chance they have of moving on in this tournament. I am the Six Tool Player the H-A-W-T Commodity Pro Wrestling’s Pin Up Girl Cathy Fitch.
Buzz: It’s good to be confident, Cathy, but will that be enough? The Young Family is a close, cohesive unit, with experience working together, and led by one of the most ruthless men ever to set foot in a WCF ring, the Villain himself, Adam Young. If you, Bad News Benson, and Snake Venom can’t get on the same page before Slam Sunday, do you really think you have a chance of winning?
*Miss Fitch studies the earnest reporter for a moment. Then she starts to grin.*
Cathy: You’re more worried about this than I am Buzz that’s sweet I heard you were a nice guy no killer instinct though that’s probably why you’re where you are and I’m on my way to being history as the first female Trios Cup Champion and second female world champion in WCF SPOILERS as team captain of Team DarkHorse it is my prerogative to get the pinfall or submission that earns me that shot. Bad News Benson and Snake Venom are my posse’, and together, we will ride to Asesinato De Mayo and capture that silver cup! Team DarkHorse, Saddle Up!
