The Fuck You Series: Zombie Mc/Dank/Dick/BitchMoris (LOL)
Apr 17, 2016 13:48:43 GMT -5
Zombie DankMorris, Cormack MacNeill, and 2 more like this
Post by Earth-616 Holmes on Apr 17, 2016 13:48:43 GMT -5
Ah yes, the episode that everyone has been waiting for. See, we've been bombarded with the multiple podcasts, interviews, shoots, and promos from Zombie McMoris, the current Internet Champion. Most of those shots have been fired at Andre Holmes as he's viewed the biggest threat to Zombie McMoris for his chance to be the next three time Hardcore Champion as if that's ever going to happen but who knows? This is Wrestling Championship Federation, and ANYTHING can happen in this company. Pretty sure if people can die, turn into ghosts, become mechanized robots or even...fight inside a volcano for God all we care, there's a possibly chance that anyone in the eight-man warfare can win the Hardcore Title except for Katherine Phoenix who is currently in the hospital under life support after getting her head bashed in right for the first time in her life. Thank you Sarah Twilight but who cares? The time is nigh, the seas are rising, and we're all desperate to see what Andre has to say in response to what Zombie has been dishing out even though it hasn't really done much as he's repeated the same thing over, and over, and over, and over, and over fucking again. Pathetic really.
Our scene opens with a familiar prime time television show that anyone, and everyone always loved to watch around one o clock in the afternoon on NBC. The beginning introduction of the episode has finished with the camera angles zooming around a studio session filled with one section of an audience dressed casual formally to attend the show in the seats provided by them. Complimentary music is played mostly to ease their spirits as they stand up, and start clapping with a little dancing to lighten the atmosphere. The camera, and production team along with security are the only thing separating them from even getting on the stage which has a nice cream colored carpet with two chairs separated by a night stand with water between them. It's mostly decorated in a house like setting even with the walls having two big digital display screens for emphasis on topics, and provision of evidence if asked too. But before we get into this, we have a man on the microphone speaking loudly into it to introduce who exactly is hosting this studio session.
Introduction
Ladies, and gentlemen. Please give a round of applause for none other than world's renowned psychologist, and therapist...Dr. Phil!
Oh yeah! Dr. Phil comes out from the side of the stage dressed in a grey tuxedo with polished shining black dress shoes, and even a blue, and white stripped tie to finish the look. Never forget that dusty grey moustache, and hair on each side of the head but missing on the top to show his old age. He might be old but he walks on the stage like a young man experiencing the spotlight for the first time, and as he takes his seat, the crowd also sits down in their seats. Camera one is set, and focused. Microphone is ready, and Dr. Phil starts his introduction.
Dr. Phil
Ladies, and gentlemen, we have a very interesting guest with us tonight but first let me give a back ground of this man. He is a very outstanding athlete but also controversial man. Some say more controversial than Conor McGregor but what is so interesting about this man is the way he talks, he acts, his behavior, how he thinks. I want to unlock his mind, and figure out what makes he who he is. Do we have any Professional Wrestling fans in the house?
A decent proportion of the crowd, estimating 35% start cheering. Most of them nod their head as most have seen it when they were kids. Dr. Phil smiled at the small praise.
Dr. Phil
Well, I am a huge wrestling fan. Hulk Hogan, and even Ultimate Warrior are my favorites of all time but we're switching to the new biggest company in Professional Wrestling, and that's Wrestling Championship Federation. When I got the opportunity to work with some of their wrestlers, this man took into my interest the most. He is the current, and reigning four time Internet Champion, former United States Champion, former Tag Team Champion, and former Hardcore Champion who will be competing this Sunday for the WCF Hardcore Championship against seven other competitors. From Parts Unknown, Zombie McMorris!
Zombie walks out onto the stage with the WCF Internet Championship around his waist. His clothes are ripped up, and look like they even survived the flood from Noah's Ark in the Jesus days. The crowd are overwhelmed with the outstanding, and omnipotent terrible stench that his body gives off so bad, the flies orbiting around his head are falling out of the air to impact down onto the floor. Some of the production team have to really spray him down with Clean-ex, and Febreeze to make sure that he doesn't produce any biological viruses from spreading into the world. Dr. Phil stands up to greet him with a handshake but he slaps his hand away, and sits on his knees in the chair with even flicking some dirt, and mud from off his locks. His moustache was even filled with a few worms, and not to mention, drool dripping from the side of his mouth. Dr. Phil had to remain professional of course, and he continued on with his session.
Dr. Phil
First of all, welcome to the show. I'm glad we're all happy to have you. Just one question, why did you choose this...sort of...'attire' for today?
Zombie DankMorris
LOL. Honey badga don give a shit. I walk up in ehre and I destroy anyone who gets in m e way. I been bout dat lyfe, ya feel me. When Dank meme god walk up in here, dem niggas in the crowd betta watch who yall step to me. I kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk kum up ere to work dem asses out so watch yo mouth unless you want be poontanged slap like yo momma droppin ya on your head from her failed aborted pregnancy.
Dr. Phil
You didn't really answer my question?
Zombie DankMorris
Nigga i gave yo dumb ass a response. So continue before i rekt dat ass bruh. serbian film all up in dis bitch, bout to get crunk. bruh.
Jesus Christ. The crowd was disgusted, and mortified by how he even spoke. Dr. Phil must be Jesus himself to put up even with that language but he continued on with the show for a purpose.
Dr. Phil
Now, where are you from? What was your family like? You have any brother or sisters?
Zombie DankMorris
nah nah nah b. ol zmombie don need no family. the internet title, and horror kore championship been my fam since day one. we day one niggas ever since i stepped foot in dis establishment. ya know i was the first nigga to win this belt? mayweather up in this bitch, demetrius johnson nigga. first, current, and only man to eber matta. zombie dankgodmorris is the king of my division so wtf you mean i need family for? i'm from new york im da duke of new york nigga. check me out like dis. i spit fire, and make niggas retire. bars, ima abattle rappa too. check me out on instagram they can't handle dis pootnatge coming right at ya. so stop kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk kuming up in thinkin ya the shit with yo 2.99 buy off motherfucking craigslists bullshit jacket and tie tryna outplay me. my mudda dont mean shit in this life. i killed my mom when i got ot, show you how horror kore i am better than that andre holmes. nigga tryna go against me, the KING OF HORROR KORE? LOOLOLOLROFLOA,SMODEOF DIS like wtf man? he really tryna do dis? my career was better than this by far, and stil is hashtag zombie over andre #ZOMBIE>ANDRE. hey bruh. you got any weed or coke or some molly bruh i need to get high, yu wanna get high? aye. were my boy towie at from south park. need my dicks ucked for money. lololooololololoookk
The crowd started booing this guy again. Damn, this guy gets boo'd in WCF, and even on the Dr. Phil show? What the hell man? It's just obvious that Dr. Phil knew what he asked but didn't expect it to be this damn bad. So he had to get on.
Dr. Phil
Speaking on the topic of Andre Holmes, most of your promos were focused on him. From hindsight, it seems you're giving him the most attention because he's the biggest threat to you winning the WCF Hardcore Championship, and some say he's even in the lead as opposed to your multiple promos against him. Do you think that maybe you're worried that he could be the next WCF Hardcore Champion?
The crowd started cheering, and Zombie rolled his eyes. He took off some of his hair from his moustache, and ate it as a snack on a daily basis.
Zombie DankMoris
ROFLMAODNDIPM. let me tell ya something philly ol bitch. I am...
THE REIGNING!
DEFENDING!
UNDISPUTE--
Dr. Phil
Why are using The New Day from WWE with that?
Zombie DankMoris
Umm...uhh...no reason. I MEAN B. #BOOTY_TROMBONE_COWBOY GON KKKKKKKKKKKKKKK KUM UP IN DIS AND REK THESE GROUNDHOGS. ZMAC DA GOD DON PLAY WID DEEZ NIGGAS. IMMA REKT ALL THEM. dey aint horror kore like me. imma two two two time hardcore champion-- horror kor champ as i mus say so dis bitches like bonnie who all suk dik and eat clit lol johnny reb my booty ass. bullshit my nigga imma go in dere and beat dey ass. all dem niggas just wanna be second place in dis league my league.
Dr. Phil
Hold on a second Zombie. We actually have a special guest just for you.
Zombie DankMoris
....lolwut?
Dr. Phil
Oh yes, actually. These men have been waiting to talk to you in person for a very, very long time. So without any hesitation, and further notice, here they are.
Zombie, and the crowd are both confused as to who can it really be but when he speaks, everyone is taking by shock.
AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW ZOMBIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE!
DON'T YOU DARE BE SOOOOWWWAAHHHHHHH!
CLAP FOR YOUR WORLD FAMOUS, TWO TIME CHAMPS!
AND FEEEEEEEEEEEEEL DA POOOWWWWAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Aw yeah! The New Day are here on Dr. Phil dressed in their ring attire with Kofi, and Big E coming out wearing the WWE Tag Team Championships around their waist with Xavier Woods in the middle blowing on his trombone. Zombie McMorris is absolutely in shock to know the people he's been using as a way to even get over are finally here to confront the man abusing the fuck out of their copyrighted material. Dr. Phil, and the audience are joining in clapping along to their music until they come onto the stage to even teach Dr. Phil to even clap along with him. Zombie tries to get in on some of the fun but they push him back down into his chair as their music stops.
Big E
Now, we've come from off our WWE Tour because we've been hearing about someone who thinks they can run with THE NEW DAY. Imagine us preaching the holy teachings about the POWAH of POSITIVITY only for someone to bring nothing but SHAME on what God has given us. This really grinds our gears and not to mention, makes the image looks BOOTY. And we know damn sure that The New Day aren't BOOTY but you know who is booty?
The three start jumping up, and down screaming out 'Who'.
All
Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who?
They all point at ZMAC.
All
This guy!
The three of them start laughing with the crowd, and Zombie looks like he's ready to cry. This was his dream to meet the new day, and he's getting humiliated. Poor Zombie.
Kofi Kingston
Now, we've been listening, and watching, and even suffered our ears bleeding to how you've been calling out our boy, Andre Holmes. Yeah, that's right. Andre's our boy, and we don't even appreciate how low, and unoriginal you've been shooting on him. Ya'll seen how he did Beaver in Catfish? OOOOOOHHHH NOOOOOOO! Now that's creative, and that's original which is what YOU don't have ZMAC.
Big E
Z-MAC? Z? That sounds like he got that off....
All
Dragon Ball Z!
Kofi Kingston
See, Z-Mac. You ain't got nothing on you that says originality, and not to mention, you stank. OH NO! You need some Cleanex, some Febreeze, some Double D-40, where's the CAR FACTS on this dusty ass 1993 Toyota Corolla? No. And stop with this BOOTY TROMBONE COWBOY thing because did you even buy your BOOTY-O CEREAL?
Do you even know where to get BOOTY-O's?
So therefore, ZMAC. If you haven't eaten your BOOTY-O cereal, and haven't even bought a box yet:
Xavier Woods
And to be put in better terms, we are... THE W W E WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!
Big E
And that's because. Z-MAC SUCKS. Z-MAC SUCKS. Z-MAC SUCKS. Z-MAC SUCKS!
The New Day start dancing around Z-Mac who is on his chair trying his best not to break down but a few tears bursts out from his eyes. Xavier is blowing hard onto his own chair, and then they dance off the stage with the crowd clapping, and even chanting "Z-MAC Sucks". He's ready to explode but once they are gone, Dr. Phil pulls out a set list of note cards to ask a few questions. Z-Mac shakes it off, and fights the urge to even cry but hey, anyone would have if they got humiliated by The New Day themselves.
Dr. Phil
Zombie. I know that must have been hard for you but how do you feel right now?
Zombie DankMoris
Q_Q. ayo b. why dey gotta do me like dat dawg. i just wanna be funny and liked bruh. dey ain't gotta do the honey badger. honey badger don't give a shit bu damn they went savage on the dank god.
Dr. Phil
You know the Honey Badger isn't really your thing right?
Zombie DankMoris
Nah nah nah nah b. honey badger been ol zmac ever since he was a child. never gave ashit. honey badger dont give a shit lol. anybody in this world knows the hiney badger be badging up trees and my bich ass opponents like andre. yall saying i ant original but dat fool never been originl. he a dumbass b. imm rekt him in that poontang so good, he wan golden johnson to fuck up him in team rekt em. baddest mofoalive and dats me. im gon b horror kore championshop for the three times three times three times three times three times in a fuckin row just u watch b.
Dr. Phil
The Honey Badger was somebody else narration of the original on BBC Animal Wildlife. Here. Check it out.
Dr. Phil
It's really funny how you've portrayed that nick name yet it was narrated under a homosexual man. So really, you've been portraying the creation of a homosexual man all this long.
Zombie DankMoris
....Bruh....umm. Yo, b. Honey badger don't gi--umm uhh. Just get on with the questions...
Did Z-Mac just surrender? Wow, the first time in history Z-MAC actually shut the fuck up because he was proven wrong. This was really great. Andre Holmes is definitely watching this, and laughing from wherever he is right now. The two-time Hardcore Champion is stepping into the ring with seven other competitor, well six because Katherine Phoenx isn't showing up, but can't handle even being on the Dr. Phil show? Yeah, his chances are going down bye bye.
Dr. Phil
So, you've been really focusing your efforts on Andre Holmes as I've said before but we want a look into your career. Let's start off with this. You're the only four time Internet Champion, and also the first one to win the title in 2012. However, some people say you've created this division because your lack of success on your own in other aspects of the company even with defeats by Alex Richards, Jayson Price, and even Katherine Phoenix. How do you respond to the critics that your Internet Title division is a scapegoat for your lack of success in other areas?
Zombie DankMoris
NAH NAH NAH B. Zombie got success everywhere bruh. im like skynet and robocop on this bitches. eerywhere i go people notice me b. honey badg-- i mean zombie dankmoris is the dank god for a reason nigga. i rekt poontangs, and make bitches cry. OL ZMAC aint lose to nobody. not to dat crazy bitch who KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK kumin up in here tryna fuck andre holmes and marry dat dead bitch and damn sure no jayson price who na na na na gon leave dis company. dat bitch nigga alex richards gone. i ended dat career long time ago so how you gon bring dis to co a coked out man who high off beating they asses g? you tryna play me. id wrekt poontangs,a nd bitches day and night. i spit fire, and make niggas retire. better wtach yo mouth before i make you retire from dis show. tryna be like dat on ol zomac. fuck otta here.
Dr. Phil
But you lose the championship to Jayson Price in Ultimate Showdown in 2014, and even lose the Internet Championship YOU created to Katherine Phoenix who trashed the belt the next day saying it wasn't worth anything. It just seems to me that a person who created a division or competition for himself would be undefeated entirely until they die or pass the torch to another competitor who is deemed worthy even by the way you speak, you're entirely influenced on the Internet Title Division so how did you lose against those people even in the first place Mr. DankMoris?
Zombie DankMoris
....See dat b. why you tryna do ol zmaco, the rekter of poontang in WCF? ya betta watch ya step before i rekt ur shit m8.
Dr. Phil
I apologize Mr. Zombie McMorris. I understand that these facts are too much to bear so maybe we'll switch to a different topic to accommodate your bipolar behavior. I understand that you're aggression to Andre Holmes may derive from insecurity, jealous, and also you being threatened that he could beat you to become the next Hardcore Champion yet when reviewing your promos, you tend to not provide any substantial evidence except mentioning about his wins, and losses which are pretty quite good for an up, and comer. You've had some achievements yourself like Internet Champion of the Year, Stable of the Year but you mention how Grayson Pierce has been carrying Andre. We can go back to where you faced Gemini Battle in a Sword match, and by graphic pictures, he won by slicing your gut open, and applying his Victory March Submission where you were taken out of action for quite a long time. So if you can't beat Grayson Pierce or Gemini Battle, why are you bringing him up?
Zombie looked around as every pair of eye was on him. He huffed, and licked his lips as a clear gesture that these facts were reigning down on him harder than he thought. For the first time, he was being brought up by facts that he's been trying to slur away onto Andre Holmes. It's as Karma says, what goes around comes around ten times harder. Fixing his dusty ass ripped shirt, he leaned back in the chair smiling, and chuckling as that brown sweat dripped down across the side of his face. His breathing got heavier, and he was getting nervous as every second passed by.
Zombie DankMoris
He he he. LOL. ROFL. Umm, uhh. See Z-MAC been in these matches more than anyone b. He KKKKKKKKKKKK kumpin up in this Hardcore warfare and still walkin out as Horror Kore champ. dat poonanis aint gon use no protection from ol zmac rekt dat poontang at king of diamonds. little ol philly docta here don';t know botu that horror lifestyle, imma wrek all dem fools. and its GEMINI BATTLE, i aint never face no grayson pierce so dat bitch was carrying andre all the time to success even though andre was the one who made the pin for their first defense. zmac never need nbody carrying him. he caerry himself. honey bdger--i mean zomac the man coked up don't give a shit bout nobody but himelf. zmac betta than ll these goons. i murk gods and demons, and little bitches. check me out on xvideos nigga. i beat bonnie time pussy so good, she travellin back in time just for my dickin from ol zmac monsta joe. sloppy joe head she gimme. i love it b. it be all about dat poontang smashin in my life b.
Dr. Phil nodded, interested about the things he had to say. The crowd however weren't. They kept on booing Z-MAC who kept flipping them off while showing off his blue colored tongue. He was the definition of needing personal hygiene but he's ZMAC. He doesn't need anything.
Dr. Phil
It's very interesting how you're so strong on bringing the point of Grayson Pierce being the back bone to Andre Holmes in their Tag Team but if you want to count history. Critics could say how you were being carried by Diablo in the Vapor Kings along with even ICE Beckman. As a matter of fact, I want to ask you something, and answer me truthfully. Your United States Championship reign, did you win that on your own?
Zombie DankMoris
Of course b. Poontangs always get rekt in the ol US.
Dr. Phil
Zombie...did...you...win...it...on..your..own?
Zombie DankMoris
Well...ummm....no.
Zombie DankMoris
Well, ICE Beckman was United States Champion in Ultimate Showdown. So he rolled up to defend it after I got pinned by Jayson Price but after I was eliminated...he handed me the championship, and then I became United States Champion.
Dr. Phil
So you never won the title on your own? It was HANDED to you by your own stable member?
Zombie DankMoris
Yes.
Dr. Phil
But who did you lose the title to?
Zombie DankMoris
...JAY OMEGA! He beat me for the United States Championship, and I didn't even have a chance to defend it. I hate that guy! AAHHHHHH!!!
Wow, the entire crowd was in shock. Some of the production team members were shaking their heads, and Dr. Phil leaned on the right arm rest of the chair nodding his head to comfort ZMAC who look distressed. So all this talking was nothing more than a way to throw off his opponents. He rubbed his strangely, and flea infested beard while tensing up his muscles to keep his composure but the overcompensation of boos kept plundering down on his head. ZMAC was looking inferior on national television, and even receiving notifications on his cellphone from his fan base mocking him after that discovery was made. Dr. Phil pushed the box of tissues closer to Zombie who took whiff, and started crying. Blowing out his nose in a few before throwing the rolled up, and snot filled tissue papers behind him as a disgusting person that he is.
Dr. Phil
I know, I know. You're hurting but when you speak the truth. You get a weight lifted off your shoulders. You can still say you were United States Champion even though you never won the title on your own. I read your record, and it even stated that you were a former Tag Team Champion in Vapor Kings. Can I ask you something Z-MAC? The person you teamed with? Did he lead you to the title as well?
Zombie DankMoris
...Yes.
Dr. Phil
Yes? What was his name?
Zombie DankMoris
St-Steve Orbit.
Woah! Are you serious?! More of the crowd were raging that even security had to walk up the aisles and restrain some of the audience members. ZMAC was looking more of a fool than he ever did in his life.
Dr. Phil
So is that why you keep pestering Andre about Grayson Pierce? Because he won the Tag Team Championships collectively as a team but you lose it too. Let's add another question to the Hardcore Championship scene this Sunday since you're very passionate about the title. You first captured the Hardcore Championship against Occulo. However, there was a slight mix up that Occulo won the match yet you were given the Hardcore Title. Can you clarify on this?
Zombie sniffs a few times before drying some of the tears under his eyes. He breaks the silence finally.
Zombie DankMoris
Well, umm. Occulo, and I were chosen to each other to fight for the Hardcore Championship, and I had Buddy Roman with me. Occulo actually won the match but Buddy took the title from the referee, and demanded that Kyle Steel announce me as the winner. So, Occulo was really the Hardcore Champion but I loved that title better than he did. I just wanted to be HORROR-KORE FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE!
Dr. Phil
There, there. So answer this question Mr. Zombie McMorris? Who did you lose the title to on your first reign?
Zombie DankMoris
BOBBY CAIR BUT JAY OMEGA I'VE NEVER BEATEN HIM IN ANY HARDCORE MATCH, AND THAT FUCKING PISSES ME OFF. NOT ONLY DID HE TAKE THE UNITED STATES CHAMPIONSHIP AWAY FROM ME BUT ALSO MY HARDCORE LEGACY HE'S FUCKING SO FUCKING MEAN. EVERY TIME I THINK OF SCATHE, HE ALWAYS REMINDS ME OF JAY OMEGA, AND I DON'T WANT HIM TO COME BACK. I'M SCARED OF HIM, AND HE MADE THAT PROMO AGAINST ME! WHY?! I JUST WAS TRYING TO LOOK COOL AGAINST HIM BUT HE ALWAYS HAD MY NUMBER. I'M NEVER GOOD AGAINST JAY OMEGA, I CAN'T WRESTLE LIKE HIM, I CAN'T BE AS GOOD LOOKING LIKE HIM, AND I DAMN SURE CAN'T EVEN SING OR DANCE LIKE HIM. IT'S ALL UNFAIR, WHY?! WHY GOD WHY?!
Different sections of the crowd had mixed feelings as we are finally witnessing the breakdown of Zombie McMorris. It was quite weird to see a man hellbent on destruction, and making sure his named is lived beyond generations is coming to a dead end on who he truly is. However, Dr. Phil was doing what he's always doing. Getting to the bottom of how someone like Zombie can be so cruel, and disgusting. The reality was this was all an act, a gimmick to hide the insecure little boy inside him. He wanted to be relevant hence why he created his own division, and joining with Vapor Kings to holding his name down in generations. Nothing more could be said about him actually winning the Hardcore Title match with him being this embarrassed by Dr. Phil's list of facts imploding down on Zombie.
Dr. Phil
You won the Television Championship by defeating Gravedigger but then later on lost it to the current World Champion of WCF, Joey Flash. A few times later, you joined up with him in Imperium. I understand joining the best but isn't it odd how you're in more groups with people who are deemed better than you but criticizing Andre Holmes about Rebellution? That's more of insecurity because he's not doing the same things you have done, and now maybe you're starting to realize he could be a way better Hardcore Champion than you. Ironic how you've been blasting him about not being Hardcore yet you didn't really win the Hardcore Title on your first reign as you've said that your old stable partner in Vapor Kings, handed you the title. That's three championships you've didn't win on your own. Hardcore, Tag, and United States. So how are possibly going on about winning the World Title when you have yet to prove that you're even a good singles competitor on your own? Another thing I'd like to talk about. WCF witnessed it's first Volcano Match. Let's be honest, was that really a Volcano match?
Zombie DankMoris
No. Bobby Cairo defeated me for the Hardcore Championship at One, our biggest wrestling event last year in December. It took a pretty big blow to me, and I couldn't live knowing that Bobby was going to be Hardcore Champion so I took a trip down to Universal Studios in Orlando to stage possibly the biggest match of my career. Disney, and Pixar came up with the script to design a CGI Volcano setting. We actually stole the idea from Tekken 7 with their Volcano match between Kazuya, and Heihachi Mishima. So paying off Bobby to surrender the Hardcore Title, and even having Odin Balfore to fly the Helicopter made millions at Fifteen. So it was all staged, and animated. We even hired stuntmen to complete the project. There was no 'Volcano Match', Bobby got paid millions to retire, and surrender the belt, and I started my second short reign as Hardcore Champion.
Dr. Phil
Wow, such a big lie, and Katherine Phoenix was the one who beat you for the Hardcore Title? I'm correct right?
Zombie DankMoris
Yes. Hence why I give Andre so much shit. I FUCKING LOST TO THE WOMAN WHO ALMOST ATTEMPTED SUICIDE BECAUSE SHE COULDN'T LOVE ANDRE HOLMES. Do you know now why I have to make sure ANDRE looks like a bitch? He's the only guy worthy of winning. I have to break the fourth wall, go out of character because I'm going to LOSE AGAIN! There's nothing stopping Andre from beating me. I'm UNORIGINAL, AND FAKE. I can't do anything on my own, and I need the INTERNET where it all matters to me. That's my only way out, and I need it so bad. I'm so sorry Dr. Phil. I brought nothing but shame to this Hardcore Division.
He nods when listening to the break down of Zombie. Dr. Phil has pretty much covered everything except for one more aspect of this interview.
Dr. Phil
There, there Zombie. You've finally let off all that weight from your shoulders, and now have the chance to apologize.
Zombie DankMoris
Wha-What are you talking about?
Dr. Phil
Oh, didn't you know? Andre Holmes is here right now. Come out Andre!
Zombie's bloodshot eyes widen as "Relentless" by New Years Day plays. Andre walks out from the side of the stage dressed casually formal with the crowd standing on their feet looking at him approach Zombie who slides off the chair right onto his knees. He looks up at Andre with Dr. Phil who stands beside him smiling down.
Zombie DankMoris
This--this was all a COAX? You two are in cahoots?
"Relentless" Andre Holmes
See Zombie. I didn't need to waste my time making seven to a hundred promos talking about how I'm this, and that. You can do that all you want, and repeat the same thing but I had Dr. Phil embarrass you, and expose you for who you really are. An actor.
He took the wig off the dude's head, and the crowd gasped in awe as it really was some actor playing Zombie. He looked around, and rubbed his bald head as they burst out laughing.
Now. I already knew I had this won. You're nothing but a guy who can't think of anything to say so you'll spam interviews, do a shit load of podcast promos but what separates me from you is that I don't have to break the fourth wall and I damn sure don't have to go out of my character to make a statement. I do everything that a normal wrestler does, and use facts against you. You've done everything to make me believe that you could beat me but I held true to myself. Come this Sunday, I'm going to beat YOU, and everyone else to become the next WCF Hardcore Champion. It actually needs someone who can hold it without being handed or actually going out of their way for information that doesn't even relate to WCF. So, Zombie. You're just a loser, a fake, and a dumbass. You can go home, and respond to when this episode airs, I don't care. You're done man. You've always have been done ever since the bitch I almost made do suicide beat you. You're just shallow, and useless. Zombie. I hope one day you can rise higher than the predicament because you said I will never be on your level. You're right. You're on your knees, and I'm standing over you. What is it now Zombie? You got any more slick words from that Internet cliche talk you got? Bonnie you made fun of? Scathe? Jay Omega? But now me, I've embarrassed you without even lifting a finger. So without further ado.
Andre sidestepped, and Thrust Kicked the actor down.
FUCK YOU! (LOL)
Our scene opens with a familiar prime time television show that anyone, and everyone always loved to watch around one o clock in the afternoon on NBC. The beginning introduction of the episode has finished with the camera angles zooming around a studio session filled with one section of an audience dressed casual formally to attend the show in the seats provided by them. Complimentary music is played mostly to ease their spirits as they stand up, and start clapping with a little dancing to lighten the atmosphere. The camera, and production team along with security are the only thing separating them from even getting on the stage which has a nice cream colored carpet with two chairs separated by a night stand with water between them. It's mostly decorated in a house like setting even with the walls having two big digital display screens for emphasis on topics, and provision of evidence if asked too. But before we get into this, we have a man on the microphone speaking loudly into it to introduce who exactly is hosting this studio session.
Introduction
Ladies, and gentlemen. Please give a round of applause for none other than world's renowned psychologist, and therapist...Dr. Phil!
Oh yeah! Dr. Phil comes out from the side of the stage dressed in a grey tuxedo with polished shining black dress shoes, and even a blue, and white stripped tie to finish the look. Never forget that dusty grey moustache, and hair on each side of the head but missing on the top to show his old age. He might be old but he walks on the stage like a young man experiencing the spotlight for the first time, and as he takes his seat, the crowd also sits down in their seats. Camera one is set, and focused. Microphone is ready, and Dr. Phil starts his introduction.
Dr. Phil
Ladies, and gentlemen, we have a very interesting guest with us tonight but first let me give a back ground of this man. He is a very outstanding athlete but also controversial man. Some say more controversial than Conor McGregor but what is so interesting about this man is the way he talks, he acts, his behavior, how he thinks. I want to unlock his mind, and figure out what makes he who he is. Do we have any Professional Wrestling fans in the house?
A decent proportion of the crowd, estimating 35% start cheering. Most of them nod their head as most have seen it when they were kids. Dr. Phil smiled at the small praise.
Dr. Phil
Well, I am a huge wrestling fan. Hulk Hogan, and even Ultimate Warrior are my favorites of all time but we're switching to the new biggest company in Professional Wrestling, and that's Wrestling Championship Federation. When I got the opportunity to work with some of their wrestlers, this man took into my interest the most. He is the current, and reigning four time Internet Champion, former United States Champion, former Tag Team Champion, and former Hardcore Champion who will be competing this Sunday for the WCF Hardcore Championship against seven other competitors. From Parts Unknown, Zombie McMorris!
Zombie walks out onto the stage with the WCF Internet Championship around his waist. His clothes are ripped up, and look like they even survived the flood from Noah's Ark in the Jesus days. The crowd are overwhelmed with the outstanding, and omnipotent terrible stench that his body gives off so bad, the flies orbiting around his head are falling out of the air to impact down onto the floor. Some of the production team have to really spray him down with Clean-ex, and Febreeze to make sure that he doesn't produce any biological viruses from spreading into the world. Dr. Phil stands up to greet him with a handshake but he slaps his hand away, and sits on his knees in the chair with even flicking some dirt, and mud from off his locks. His moustache was even filled with a few worms, and not to mention, drool dripping from the side of his mouth. Dr. Phil had to remain professional of course, and he continued on with his session.
Dr. Phil
First of all, welcome to the show. I'm glad we're all happy to have you. Just one question, why did you choose this...sort of...'attire' for today?
Zombie DankMorris
LOL. Honey badga don give a shit. I walk up in ehre and I destroy anyone who gets in m e way. I been bout dat lyfe, ya feel me. When Dank meme god walk up in here, dem niggas in the crowd betta watch who yall step to me. I kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk kum up ere to work dem asses out so watch yo mouth unless you want be poontanged slap like yo momma droppin ya on your head from her failed aborted pregnancy.
Dr. Phil
You didn't really answer my question?
Zombie DankMorris
Nigga i gave yo dumb ass a response. So continue before i rekt dat ass bruh. serbian film all up in dis bitch, bout to get crunk. bruh.
Jesus Christ. The crowd was disgusted, and mortified by how he even spoke. Dr. Phil must be Jesus himself to put up even with that language but he continued on with the show for a purpose.
Dr. Phil
Now, where are you from? What was your family like? You have any brother or sisters?
Zombie DankMorris
nah nah nah b. ol zmombie don need no family. the internet title, and horror kore championship been my fam since day one. we day one niggas ever since i stepped foot in dis establishment. ya know i was the first nigga to win this belt? mayweather up in this bitch, demetrius johnson nigga. first, current, and only man to eber matta. zombie dankgodmorris is the king of my division so wtf you mean i need family for? i'm from new york im da duke of new york nigga. check me out like dis. i spit fire, and make niggas retire. bars, ima abattle rappa too. check me out on instagram they can't handle dis pootnatge coming right at ya. so stop kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk kuming up in thinkin ya the shit with yo 2.99 buy off motherfucking craigslists bullshit jacket and tie tryna outplay me. my mudda dont mean shit in this life. i killed my mom when i got ot, show you how horror kore i am better than that andre holmes. nigga tryna go against me, the KING OF HORROR KORE? LOOLOLOLROFLOA,SMODEOF DIS like wtf man? he really tryna do dis? my career was better than this by far, and stil is hashtag zombie over andre #ZOMBIE>ANDRE. hey bruh. you got any weed or coke or some molly bruh i need to get high, yu wanna get high? aye. were my boy towie at from south park. need my dicks ucked for money. lololooololololoookk
The crowd started booing this guy again. Damn, this guy gets boo'd in WCF, and even on the Dr. Phil show? What the hell man? It's just obvious that Dr. Phil knew what he asked but didn't expect it to be this damn bad. So he had to get on.
Dr. Phil
Speaking on the topic of Andre Holmes, most of your promos were focused on him. From hindsight, it seems you're giving him the most attention because he's the biggest threat to you winning the WCF Hardcore Championship, and some say he's even in the lead as opposed to your multiple promos against him. Do you think that maybe you're worried that he could be the next WCF Hardcore Champion?
The crowd started cheering, and Zombie rolled his eyes. He took off some of his hair from his moustache, and ate it as a snack on a daily basis.
Zombie DankMoris
ROFLMAODNDIPM. let me tell ya something philly ol bitch. I am...
THE REIGNING!
DEFENDING!
UNDISPUTE--
Dr. Phil
Why are using The New Day from WWE with that?
Zombie DankMoris
Umm...uhh...no reason. I MEAN B. #BOOTY_TROMBONE_COWBOY GON KKKKKKKKKKKKKKK KUM UP IN DIS AND REK THESE GROUNDHOGS. ZMAC DA GOD DON PLAY WID DEEZ NIGGAS. IMMA REKT ALL THEM. dey aint horror kore like me. imma two two two time hardcore champion-- horror kor champ as i mus say so dis bitches like bonnie who all suk dik and eat clit lol johnny reb my booty ass. bullshit my nigga imma go in dere and beat dey ass. all dem niggas just wanna be second place in dis league my league.
Dr. Phil
Hold on a second Zombie. We actually have a special guest just for you.
Zombie DankMoris
....lolwut?
Dr. Phil
Oh yes, actually. These men have been waiting to talk to you in person for a very, very long time. So without any hesitation, and further notice, here they are.
Zombie, and the crowd are both confused as to who can it really be but when he speaks, everyone is taking by shock.
AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW ZOMBIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE!
DON'T YOU DARE BE SOOOOWWWAAHHHHHHH!
CLAP FOR YOUR WORLD FAMOUS, TWO TIME CHAMPS!
AND FEEEEEEEEEEEEEL DA POOOWWWWAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Aw yeah! The New Day are here on Dr. Phil dressed in their ring attire with Kofi, and Big E coming out wearing the WWE Tag Team Championships around their waist with Xavier Woods in the middle blowing on his trombone. Zombie McMorris is absolutely in shock to know the people he's been using as a way to even get over are finally here to confront the man abusing the fuck out of their copyrighted material. Dr. Phil, and the audience are joining in clapping along to their music until they come onto the stage to even teach Dr. Phil to even clap along with him. Zombie tries to get in on some of the fun but they push him back down into his chair as their music stops.
Big E
Now, we've come from off our WWE Tour because we've been hearing about someone who thinks they can run with THE NEW DAY. Imagine us preaching the holy teachings about the POWAH of POSITIVITY only for someone to bring nothing but SHAME on what God has given us. This really grinds our gears and not to mention, makes the image looks BOOTY. And we know damn sure that The New Day aren't BOOTY but you know who is booty?
The three start jumping up, and down screaming out 'Who'.
All
Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who?
They all point at ZMAC.
All
This guy!
The three of them start laughing with the crowd, and Zombie looks like he's ready to cry. This was his dream to meet the new day, and he's getting humiliated. Poor Zombie.
Kofi Kingston
Now, we've been listening, and watching, and even suffered our ears bleeding to how you've been calling out our boy, Andre Holmes. Yeah, that's right. Andre's our boy, and we don't even appreciate how low, and unoriginal you've been shooting on him. Ya'll seen how he did Beaver in Catfish? OOOOOOHHHH NOOOOOOO! Now that's creative, and that's original which is what YOU don't have ZMAC.
Big E
Z-MAC? Z? That sounds like he got that off....
All
Dragon Ball Z!
Kofi Kingston
See, Z-Mac. You ain't got nothing on you that says originality, and not to mention, you stank. OH NO! You need some Cleanex, some Febreeze, some Double D-40, where's the CAR FACTS on this dusty ass 1993 Toyota Corolla? No. And stop with this BOOTY TROMBONE COWBOY thing because did you even buy your BOOTY-O CEREAL?
Do you even know where to get BOOTY-O's?
So therefore, ZMAC. If you haven't eaten your BOOTY-O cereal, and haven't even bought a box yet:
Xavier Woods
And to be put in better terms, we are... THE W W E WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!
Big E
And that's because. Z-MAC SUCKS. Z-MAC SUCKS. Z-MAC SUCKS. Z-MAC SUCKS!
The New Day start dancing around Z-Mac who is on his chair trying his best not to break down but a few tears bursts out from his eyes. Xavier is blowing hard onto his own chair, and then they dance off the stage with the crowd clapping, and even chanting "Z-MAC Sucks". He's ready to explode but once they are gone, Dr. Phil pulls out a set list of note cards to ask a few questions. Z-Mac shakes it off, and fights the urge to even cry but hey, anyone would have if they got humiliated by The New Day themselves.
Dr. Phil
Zombie. I know that must have been hard for you but how do you feel right now?
Zombie DankMoris
Q_Q. ayo b. why dey gotta do me like dat dawg. i just wanna be funny and liked bruh. dey ain't gotta do the honey badger. honey badger don't give a shit bu damn they went savage on the dank god.
Dr. Phil
You know the Honey Badger isn't really your thing right?
Zombie DankMoris
Nah nah nah nah b. honey badger been ol zmac ever since he was a child. never gave ashit. honey badger dont give a shit lol. anybody in this world knows the hiney badger be badging up trees and my bich ass opponents like andre. yall saying i ant original but dat fool never been originl. he a dumbass b. imm rekt him in that poontang so good, he wan golden johnson to fuck up him in team rekt em. baddest mofoalive and dats me. im gon b horror kore championshop for the three times three times three times three times three times in a fuckin row just u watch b.
Dr. Phil
The Honey Badger was somebody else narration of the original on BBC Animal Wildlife. Here. Check it out.
Dr. Phil
It's really funny how you've portrayed that nick name yet it was narrated under a homosexual man. So really, you've been portraying the creation of a homosexual man all this long.
Zombie DankMoris
....Bruh....umm. Yo, b. Honey badger don't gi--umm uhh. Just get on with the questions...
Did Z-Mac just surrender? Wow, the first time in history Z-MAC actually shut the fuck up because he was proven wrong. This was really great. Andre Holmes is definitely watching this, and laughing from wherever he is right now. The two-time Hardcore Champion is stepping into the ring with seven other competitor, well six because Katherine Phoenx isn't showing up, but can't handle even being on the Dr. Phil show? Yeah, his chances are going down bye bye.
Dr. Phil
So, you've been really focusing your efforts on Andre Holmes as I've said before but we want a look into your career. Let's start off with this. You're the only four time Internet Champion, and also the first one to win the title in 2012. However, some people say you've created this division because your lack of success on your own in other aspects of the company even with defeats by Alex Richards, Jayson Price, and even Katherine Phoenix. How do you respond to the critics that your Internet Title division is a scapegoat for your lack of success in other areas?
Zombie DankMoris
NAH NAH NAH B. Zombie got success everywhere bruh. im like skynet and robocop on this bitches. eerywhere i go people notice me b. honey badg-- i mean zombie dankmoris is the dank god for a reason nigga. i rekt poontangs, and make bitches cry. OL ZMAC aint lose to nobody. not to dat crazy bitch who KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK kumin up in here tryna fuck andre holmes and marry dat dead bitch and damn sure no jayson price who na na na na gon leave dis company. dat bitch nigga alex richards gone. i ended dat career long time ago so how you gon bring dis to co a coked out man who high off beating they asses g? you tryna play me. id wrekt poontangs,a nd bitches day and night. i spit fire, and make niggas retire. better wtach yo mouth before i make you retire from dis show. tryna be like dat on ol zomac. fuck otta here.
Dr. Phil
But you lose the championship to Jayson Price in Ultimate Showdown in 2014, and even lose the Internet Championship YOU created to Katherine Phoenix who trashed the belt the next day saying it wasn't worth anything. It just seems to me that a person who created a division or competition for himself would be undefeated entirely until they die or pass the torch to another competitor who is deemed worthy even by the way you speak, you're entirely influenced on the Internet Title Division so how did you lose against those people even in the first place Mr. DankMoris?
Zombie DankMoris
....See dat b. why you tryna do ol zmaco, the rekter of poontang in WCF? ya betta watch ya step before i rekt ur shit m8.
Dr. Phil
I apologize Mr. Zombie McMorris. I understand that these facts are too much to bear so maybe we'll switch to a different topic to accommodate your bipolar behavior. I understand that you're aggression to Andre Holmes may derive from insecurity, jealous, and also you being threatened that he could beat you to become the next Hardcore Champion yet when reviewing your promos, you tend to not provide any substantial evidence except mentioning about his wins, and losses which are pretty quite good for an up, and comer. You've had some achievements yourself like Internet Champion of the Year, Stable of the Year but you mention how Grayson Pierce has been carrying Andre. We can go back to where you faced Gemini Battle in a Sword match, and by graphic pictures, he won by slicing your gut open, and applying his Victory March Submission where you were taken out of action for quite a long time. So if you can't beat Grayson Pierce or Gemini Battle, why are you bringing him up?
Zombie looked around as every pair of eye was on him. He huffed, and licked his lips as a clear gesture that these facts were reigning down on him harder than he thought. For the first time, he was being brought up by facts that he's been trying to slur away onto Andre Holmes. It's as Karma says, what goes around comes around ten times harder. Fixing his dusty ass ripped shirt, he leaned back in the chair smiling, and chuckling as that brown sweat dripped down across the side of his face. His breathing got heavier, and he was getting nervous as every second passed by.
Zombie DankMoris
He he he. LOL. ROFL. Umm, uhh. See Z-MAC been in these matches more than anyone b. He KKKKKKKKKKKK kumpin up in this Hardcore warfare and still walkin out as Horror Kore champ. dat poonanis aint gon use no protection from ol zmac rekt dat poontang at king of diamonds. little ol philly docta here don';t know botu that horror lifestyle, imma wrek all dem fools. and its GEMINI BATTLE, i aint never face no grayson pierce so dat bitch was carrying andre all the time to success even though andre was the one who made the pin for their first defense. zmac never need nbody carrying him. he caerry himself. honey bdger--i mean zomac the man coked up don't give a shit bout nobody but himelf. zmac betta than ll these goons. i murk gods and demons, and little bitches. check me out on xvideos nigga. i beat bonnie time pussy so good, she travellin back in time just for my dickin from ol zmac monsta joe. sloppy joe head she gimme. i love it b. it be all about dat poontang smashin in my life b.
Dr. Phil nodded, interested about the things he had to say. The crowd however weren't. They kept on booing Z-MAC who kept flipping them off while showing off his blue colored tongue. He was the definition of needing personal hygiene but he's ZMAC. He doesn't need anything.
Dr. Phil
It's very interesting how you're so strong on bringing the point of Grayson Pierce being the back bone to Andre Holmes in their Tag Team but if you want to count history. Critics could say how you were being carried by Diablo in the Vapor Kings along with even ICE Beckman. As a matter of fact, I want to ask you something, and answer me truthfully. Your United States Championship reign, did you win that on your own?
Zombie DankMoris
Of course b. Poontangs always get rekt in the ol US.
Dr. Phil
Zombie...did...you...win...it...on..your..own?
Zombie DankMoris
Well...ummm....no.
Zombie DankMoris
Well, ICE Beckman was United States Champion in Ultimate Showdown. So he rolled up to defend it after I got pinned by Jayson Price but after I was eliminated...he handed me the championship, and then I became United States Champion.
Dr. Phil
So you never won the title on your own? It was HANDED to you by your own stable member?
Zombie DankMoris
Yes.
Dr. Phil
But who did you lose the title to?
Zombie DankMoris
...JAY OMEGA! He beat me for the United States Championship, and I didn't even have a chance to defend it. I hate that guy! AAHHHHHH!!!
Wow, the entire crowd was in shock. Some of the production team members were shaking their heads, and Dr. Phil leaned on the right arm rest of the chair nodding his head to comfort ZMAC who look distressed. So all this talking was nothing more than a way to throw off his opponents. He rubbed his strangely, and flea infested beard while tensing up his muscles to keep his composure but the overcompensation of boos kept plundering down on his head. ZMAC was looking inferior on national television, and even receiving notifications on his cellphone from his fan base mocking him after that discovery was made. Dr. Phil pushed the box of tissues closer to Zombie who took whiff, and started crying. Blowing out his nose in a few before throwing the rolled up, and snot filled tissue papers behind him as a disgusting person that he is.
Dr. Phil
I know, I know. You're hurting but when you speak the truth. You get a weight lifted off your shoulders. You can still say you were United States Champion even though you never won the title on your own. I read your record, and it even stated that you were a former Tag Team Champion in Vapor Kings. Can I ask you something Z-MAC? The person you teamed with? Did he lead you to the title as well?
Zombie DankMoris
...Yes.
Dr. Phil
Yes? What was his name?
Zombie DankMoris
St-Steve Orbit.
Woah! Are you serious?! More of the crowd were raging that even security had to walk up the aisles and restrain some of the audience members. ZMAC was looking more of a fool than he ever did in his life.
Dr. Phil
So is that why you keep pestering Andre about Grayson Pierce? Because he won the Tag Team Championships collectively as a team but you lose it too. Let's add another question to the Hardcore Championship scene this Sunday since you're very passionate about the title. You first captured the Hardcore Championship against Occulo. However, there was a slight mix up that Occulo won the match yet you were given the Hardcore Title. Can you clarify on this?
Zombie sniffs a few times before drying some of the tears under his eyes. He breaks the silence finally.
Zombie DankMoris
Well, umm. Occulo, and I were chosen to each other to fight for the Hardcore Championship, and I had Buddy Roman with me. Occulo actually won the match but Buddy took the title from the referee, and demanded that Kyle Steel announce me as the winner. So, Occulo was really the Hardcore Champion but I loved that title better than he did. I just wanted to be HORROR-KORE FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE!
Dr. Phil
There, there. So answer this question Mr. Zombie McMorris? Who did you lose the title to on your first reign?
Zombie DankMoris
BOBBY CAIR BUT JAY OMEGA I'VE NEVER BEATEN HIM IN ANY HARDCORE MATCH, AND THAT FUCKING PISSES ME OFF. NOT ONLY DID HE TAKE THE UNITED STATES CHAMPIONSHIP AWAY FROM ME BUT ALSO MY HARDCORE LEGACY HE'S FUCKING SO FUCKING MEAN. EVERY TIME I THINK OF SCATHE, HE ALWAYS REMINDS ME OF JAY OMEGA, AND I DON'T WANT HIM TO COME BACK. I'M SCARED OF HIM, AND HE MADE THAT PROMO AGAINST ME! WHY?! I JUST WAS TRYING TO LOOK COOL AGAINST HIM BUT HE ALWAYS HAD MY NUMBER. I'M NEVER GOOD AGAINST JAY OMEGA, I CAN'T WRESTLE LIKE HIM, I CAN'T BE AS GOOD LOOKING LIKE HIM, AND I DAMN SURE CAN'T EVEN SING OR DANCE LIKE HIM. IT'S ALL UNFAIR, WHY?! WHY GOD WHY?!
Different sections of the crowd had mixed feelings as we are finally witnessing the breakdown of Zombie McMorris. It was quite weird to see a man hellbent on destruction, and making sure his named is lived beyond generations is coming to a dead end on who he truly is. However, Dr. Phil was doing what he's always doing. Getting to the bottom of how someone like Zombie can be so cruel, and disgusting. The reality was this was all an act, a gimmick to hide the insecure little boy inside him. He wanted to be relevant hence why he created his own division, and joining with Vapor Kings to holding his name down in generations. Nothing more could be said about him actually winning the Hardcore Title match with him being this embarrassed by Dr. Phil's list of facts imploding down on Zombie.
Dr. Phil
You won the Television Championship by defeating Gravedigger but then later on lost it to the current World Champion of WCF, Joey Flash. A few times later, you joined up with him in Imperium. I understand joining the best but isn't it odd how you're in more groups with people who are deemed better than you but criticizing Andre Holmes about Rebellution? That's more of insecurity because he's not doing the same things you have done, and now maybe you're starting to realize he could be a way better Hardcore Champion than you. Ironic how you've been blasting him about not being Hardcore yet you didn't really win the Hardcore Title on your first reign as you've said that your old stable partner in Vapor Kings, handed you the title. That's three championships you've didn't win on your own. Hardcore, Tag, and United States. So how are possibly going on about winning the World Title when you have yet to prove that you're even a good singles competitor on your own? Another thing I'd like to talk about. WCF witnessed it's first Volcano Match. Let's be honest, was that really a Volcano match?
Zombie DankMoris
No. Bobby Cairo defeated me for the Hardcore Championship at One, our biggest wrestling event last year in December. It took a pretty big blow to me, and I couldn't live knowing that Bobby was going to be Hardcore Champion so I took a trip down to Universal Studios in Orlando to stage possibly the biggest match of my career. Disney, and Pixar came up with the script to design a CGI Volcano setting. We actually stole the idea from Tekken 7 with their Volcano match between Kazuya, and Heihachi Mishima. So paying off Bobby to surrender the Hardcore Title, and even having Odin Balfore to fly the Helicopter made millions at Fifteen. So it was all staged, and animated. We even hired stuntmen to complete the project. There was no 'Volcano Match', Bobby got paid millions to retire, and surrender the belt, and I started my second short reign as Hardcore Champion.
Dr. Phil
Wow, such a big lie, and Katherine Phoenix was the one who beat you for the Hardcore Title? I'm correct right?
Zombie DankMoris
Yes. Hence why I give Andre so much shit. I FUCKING LOST TO THE WOMAN WHO ALMOST ATTEMPTED SUICIDE BECAUSE SHE COULDN'T LOVE ANDRE HOLMES. Do you know now why I have to make sure ANDRE looks like a bitch? He's the only guy worthy of winning. I have to break the fourth wall, go out of character because I'm going to LOSE AGAIN! There's nothing stopping Andre from beating me. I'm UNORIGINAL, AND FAKE. I can't do anything on my own, and I need the INTERNET where it all matters to me. That's my only way out, and I need it so bad. I'm so sorry Dr. Phil. I brought nothing but shame to this Hardcore Division.
He nods when listening to the break down of Zombie. Dr. Phil has pretty much covered everything except for one more aspect of this interview.
Dr. Phil
There, there Zombie. You've finally let off all that weight from your shoulders, and now have the chance to apologize.
Zombie DankMoris
Wha-What are you talking about?
Dr. Phil
Oh, didn't you know? Andre Holmes is here right now. Come out Andre!
Zombie's bloodshot eyes widen as "Relentless" by New Years Day plays. Andre walks out from the side of the stage dressed casually formal with the crowd standing on their feet looking at him approach Zombie who slides off the chair right onto his knees. He looks up at Andre with Dr. Phil who stands beside him smiling down.
Zombie DankMoris
This--this was all a COAX? You two are in cahoots?
"Relentless" Andre Holmes
See Zombie. I didn't need to waste my time making seven to a hundred promos talking about how I'm this, and that. You can do that all you want, and repeat the same thing but I had Dr. Phil embarrass you, and expose you for who you really are. An actor.
He took the wig off the dude's head, and the crowd gasped in awe as it really was some actor playing Zombie. He looked around, and rubbed his bald head as they burst out laughing.
Now. I already knew I had this won. You're nothing but a guy who can't think of anything to say so you'll spam interviews, do a shit load of podcast promos but what separates me from you is that I don't have to break the fourth wall and I damn sure don't have to go out of my character to make a statement. I do everything that a normal wrestler does, and use facts against you. You've done everything to make me believe that you could beat me but I held true to myself. Come this Sunday, I'm going to beat YOU, and everyone else to become the next WCF Hardcore Champion. It actually needs someone who can hold it without being handed or actually going out of their way for information that doesn't even relate to WCF. So, Zombie. You're just a loser, a fake, and a dumbass. You can go home, and respond to when this episode airs, I don't care. You're done man. You've always have been done ever since the bitch I almost made do suicide beat you. You're just shallow, and useless. Zombie. I hope one day you can rise higher than the predicament because you said I will never be on your level. You're right. You're on your knees, and I'm standing over you. What is it now Zombie? You got any more slick words from that Internet cliche talk you got? Bonnie you made fun of? Scathe? Jay Omega? But now me, I've embarrassed you without even lifting a finger. So without further ado.
Andre sidestepped, and Thrust Kicked the actor down.
FUCK YOU! (LOL)
