Post by Jack of Blades on Mar 24, 2007 16:15:04 GMT -5
"Long ago, the Gods foresaw that the fury ineptitude of Mortal Kombat the 'Modern Cutting Edge Division' would lead to the destruction of the realm television ratings. Every warrior 'jobmonkey' has been summoned to face this final challenge paycheck. Their survival will depend on their ability to fight take a ridiculous amount of physical risks for the entertainment of no-one. In the days of Armageddon, there will be no great heroes matches, the Elder Gods 'Main Eventers' will guide you no longer, there will only be Kombat spots. And lots of them. Like this one thing where say, Colibri comes at me with a 'Flaming Senton Spinebuster With Acid Spit', I pull down my trousers and get my wang out. Also, pretend that Nemesis is going for the 'T-Virus Tentacle Down The Throat of Brad Vickers...DDT', I, instinctively, will defend myself against such a threat by pulling down my trousers and getting my wang out."
Armageddon Modern Cutting Edge, the culmination of the Mortal Kombat Saga Creeping Death's Alzheimer's."
Hey, there, you faggot-emo-gay-ass-faggot, I'm Creeping Death and prepare for your world to be WOFLCOPTERED. LOL! ROFLCOPTERED! (Oblique 'Simpsons' reference.) Etc.
You see, me and my bunch of orphans we're now digitized and comin' to your house in the form of swish video game graphics. VIDEO GAME GRAPHICS THAT ALLOW NO EMOS! LOL! ROFLCOPTER!
That's right. The bunch of talentless brainfucks that make up the wholly-redundant 'MCE' division are going to be fighting on your television screen. FAIRIES! It's gonna be awesome. So awesome that it makes me want to join an internet forum and repeatedly post a string of culturally-vacant memes specific to the interweb. Hax0r! L33t! Vis en vie!
Roster:
(Nick) Woo Kang - A zombie monk. On fire!
Sonjaa Blade - A military operative. On fire!
N00b Saibot - A fuckin' rookie! Hopefully dead! I hate rookies. They rhyme with 'cookies' and I really fuckin' hate cookies. Especially ones coated in chocolate. Why don't you go eat some fuckin' emo biscuits...On fire!
Cata-rax - A cybernetic monkey with eyesight worries. On 'Oprah!'
Curt(is) D. Striker - A shite character who nobody uses. On 'Mars!'
Fatalities Spots
Brutalized Monkey Ethanol Rectum - A super flying 'Spider Bomb' done in mid-air while under a 630. degree rotation while reading Seth Lerch's biography, 'Under The Moonlight Tears of My Sexuality.' And then I get my wang out...
Screaming Organic 'Jean-Luc Picard' Sasquatch Irate Floor Mine - A fortified grounded flying suplex into a pool of AIDS-riddled blood filled with sharks. And then I get my wang out...
Nightmare Twisting Invariated Radiator Bomb Sliding Pomegranate Mountain - Jab to the face.
Sodomy - A burning hammer into a grounded choke lift...and maybe a kick. Yeah, a kick after all that.
Stages:
'Lacuna Coil' Concert - A battle to impress the lead singer and object of CD's affection.
'Creed' Concert - A battle to impress the lead singer and object of CD's affection.
Kirsty Alley's Vagina
S.S. Sulaco
Hey, there, you faggot-emo-gay-ass-faggot, I'm Creeping Death and prepare for your world to be WOFLCOPTERED. LOL! ROFLCOPTERED! (Oblique 'Simpsons' reference.) Etc.
You see, me and my bunch of orphans we're now digitized and comin' to your house in the form of swish video game graphics. VIDEO GAME GRAPHICS THAT ALLOW NO EMOS! LOL! ROFLCOPTER!
That's right. The bunch of talentless brainfucks that make up the wholly-redundant 'MCE' division are going to be fighting on your television screen. FAIRIES! It's gonna be awesome. So awesome that it makes me want to join an internet forum and repeatedly post a string of culturally-vacant memes specific to the interweb. Hax0r! L33t! Vis en vie!
Roster:
(Nick) Woo Kang - A zombie monk. On fire!
Sonjaa Blade - A military operative. On fire!
N00b Saibot - A fuckin' rookie! Hopefully dead! I hate rookies. They rhyme with 'cookies' and I really fuckin' hate cookies. Especially ones coated in chocolate. Why don't you go eat some fuckin' emo biscuits...On fire!
Cata-rax - A cybernetic monkey with eyesight worries. On 'Oprah!'
Curt(is) D. Striker - A shite character who nobody uses. On 'Mars!'
Brutalized Monkey Ethanol Rectum - A super flying 'Spider Bomb' done in mid-air while under a 630. degree rotation while reading Seth Lerch's biography, 'Under The Moonlight Tears of My Sexuality.' And then I get my wang out...
Screaming Organic 'Jean-Luc Picard' Sasquatch Irate Floor Mine - A fortified grounded flying suplex into a pool of AIDS-riddled blood filled with sharks. And then I get my wang out...
Nightmare Twisting Invariated Radiator Bomb Sliding Pomegranate Mountain - Jab to the face.
Sodomy - A burning hammer into a grounded choke lift...and maybe a kick. Yeah, a kick after all that.
Stages:
'Lacuna Coil' Concert - A battle to impress the lead singer and object of CD's affection.
'Creed' Concert - A battle to impress the lead singer and object of CD's affection.
Kirsty Alley's Vagina
S.S. Sulaco
