Post by Lawnmower Jones on Feb 9, 2007 21:53:13 GMT -5
Febraury 9th, 2007
To Mr. Cairo:
At WCF's recent PPV extravaganza "One", you were videotaped kidnapping fellow WCF wrestler and contracted employee Lawnmower Jones's wife, Lonnie. The WCF board of directors realize that Jones and yourself had a physical confrontation earlier in the evening that ended with you getting your ass kicked. The board also realizes that you wanted to extract revenge from Jones, and this was the plan you thought up. Recently, we have seen images of a shed with Lonnie in it being broadcast nationwide. Needless to say, this is unacceptable.
The WCF has received numerous complaints about this strange rivalry that has evolved between the two of you. Parents do not wish for their children to witness a WCF wrestler commit a US felony on television. This is why I have come up with a plan that compromises both sides of the confrontation that will allow both sides to leave their hatred for one another in the ring.
If you follow Jones's demands, Jones has personally vowed to buy you a night with an extravagent Columbian prostitute named Maria. Maria has a uterus so big, I was able to stick my head in it with a camera and take a picture of the family of rats in it. And this isn't some small family- they're mormon.
Maria also has tits that sag to her knees, with nippels like deformed Milk Duds. Her stretch marks are barely visible.
If you're thinking that endurance is a problem, think twice, young master Cairo. I gave this horse a healthy trial run, and she lasted longer than me. In fact, we started at the beginning of Full House, and by the time the theme song was over, I was as well. A full three minutes, and she lasted it all. Of course, she needed to refuel with cookies and enchiladas, but since she ran out, she nibbled on my toe. Literally.
So, Bobby, in order to get this prize pig (minus the prize) all you need to do is meet me in the back ally behind "The Winning Rainbow Team Bar" tonight at 11:30, my usual hang out place. Bring Lonnie, and the hooker is all yours.
Sincerely, Seth L
(The camera shows Marty Collins and Lawnmower Jones crowding around a computer on Marty's desk.)
MC: Is Lerch spelled with an I or a U?
LJ: Beats the hell out of me. Should I set up ninjas for when he comes to the alley?
(Collins nods his head as the scene fades to black.)
To Mr. Cairo:
At WCF's recent PPV extravaganza "One", you were videotaped kidnapping fellow WCF wrestler and contracted employee Lawnmower Jones's wife, Lonnie. The WCF board of directors realize that Jones and yourself had a physical confrontation earlier in the evening that ended with you getting your ass kicked. The board also realizes that you wanted to extract revenge from Jones, and this was the plan you thought up. Recently, we have seen images of a shed with Lonnie in it being broadcast nationwide. Needless to say, this is unacceptable.
The WCF has received numerous complaints about this strange rivalry that has evolved between the two of you. Parents do not wish for their children to witness a WCF wrestler commit a US felony on television. This is why I have come up with a plan that compromises both sides of the confrontation that will allow both sides to leave their hatred for one another in the ring.
If you follow Jones's demands, Jones has personally vowed to buy you a night with an extravagent Columbian prostitute named Maria. Maria has a uterus so big, I was able to stick my head in it with a camera and take a picture of the family of rats in it. And this isn't some small family- they're mormon.
Maria also has tits that sag to her knees, with nippels like deformed Milk Duds. Her stretch marks are barely visible.
If you're thinking that endurance is a problem, think twice, young master Cairo. I gave this horse a healthy trial run, and she lasted longer than me. In fact, we started at the beginning of Full House, and by the time the theme song was over, I was as well. A full three minutes, and she lasted it all. Of course, she needed to refuel with cookies and enchiladas, but since she ran out, she nibbled on my toe. Literally.
So, Bobby, in order to get this prize pig (minus the prize) all you need to do is meet me in the back ally behind "The Winning Rainbow Team Bar" tonight at 11:30, my usual hang out place. Bring Lonnie, and the hooker is all yours.
Sincerely, Seth L
(The camera shows Marty Collins and Lawnmower Jones crowding around a computer on Marty's desk.)
MC: Is Lerch spelled with an I or a U?
LJ: Beats the hell out of me. Should I set up ninjas for when he comes to the alley?
(Collins nods his head as the scene fades to black.)
