Post by Lawnmower Jones on Aug 30, 2006 21:09:21 GMT -5
(The scene opens up in the middle of the night, inside of a police car. Two officers sit in the front, the driver white, the passenger black, both males. They have on black uniforms with the hat. They are currently stopped at a red stoplight.)
(The only light that illuminates the scene comes from the surrounding's lights. A 7-11 is seen in the far distance, with it's classic sign lit up. The street is otherwise deserted.)
Driving Cop: Well, Damon, seems there's no trouble to be had tonight.
(The passenger, Damon, kicks his spit shine boots onto the dashboard. He pulls out a pair of sunglasses and puts them on. He reaches down, grabs a toothpick, and sticks it in his mouth. The man is now relaxing.)
Damon: Well, Charlie, we did a hell of a day. I mean, that thug did ask for the nightstick.
(Charlie only nods in agreement. With this, the light turns green. Charlie speeds past the white line and hauls, with no regards to his own laws.)
(Suddenly, a voice, like in Charlie's Angels, is heard. It is a female's voice, probably black.)
Voice: Car Damlie we got ourselves some loudmouth punks at 1842 and a half Chestnut. Neighbors can't sleep. Over.
(The two men look at one another. Damon drops his toothpick and glasses, straightens himself up, and rolls his neck. Charlie immediatley stops the car. Charlie spits in his hand, while Damon does the same. The two hands mesh. Without looking, Charlie speaks.)
Charlie: Roger.
(We go to a bird's eye view and see a ferocious U-turn from Charlie. The scene slowly fades out.)
(The scene fades back in with our two beloved officers walking to a familar shed. It is that of Lawnmower Jones, the man with a plan. The two casually walk up to the shed's door. Damon looks to Charlie.)
Damon: If he attacks, hit him low!
(Charlie nods and places his right hand on his nightstick. We here lady screams from inside, and Damon knocks.)
Damon: Open the door, it's the police!
(Another loud scream is heard, and the two look at one another. Damon backs up, and uses his huge foot to knock the door down.)
Damon: Freeze mother fucker!
(We see the inside of Jones' shed. Jones is on the floor, crying and rolling. Lonnie is behind him. Jones has a black eye and a bloody lip. His TV title is still around his waist. The two officers lunge and tackle Jones, pinning him even more. The scene slowly fades to black with Jones screaming like a girl.)
(The scene opens with Jones sitting on the curb of his street, handcuffed. He has bruises on his face, bloody lip, and bloody nose. The title is still around his waist. The neighborhood has all come out to see the spectacle. People in nightgowns, pajamas, underwear all point and stare. The two officers are sweating, breathing heavily. A local news station has showed up, KQCA 6, and the cameraman is following Damon. A few extra squad cars have arrived.)
Damon: The guy went insane. He was beating up his wife, we went in, tried to calm him down. We told him it's all OK, we were here to help. But uh, I guess he didn't need our help. He needed to prove his "toughness". He swung first, got Charlie in the eyes-he's a pro fighter, so it hurt him. But uh, I was able to slap on the cuffs and now he gets to spend the night in Rapeville.
(We see Charlie getting help from a fat, blonde female officer. She has on white gloves, and is helping the wound. A young white officer with red hair, same black outfit, with shorts, and an orange traffic overwear is taking notes on a notepad. He is talking to Lonnie.)
Officer: So, he instigated the fight?
(No movement.)
Officer: I understand. Sometimes people just go crazy. It's not you, it's him.
(The officer writes and nods in agreement at the same time.)
Officer: Right, and this will happen. One more thing. Did he force himself on you sexually?
(The scene cuts back to Jones, who wears the same blank expression. For once, it seems like he isn't the maniac.)
(A petit, older blonde lady with enough Botox on her face to save Beverly Hills for life runs over to Jones. She has on a blue dress outfit.)
Lady: Jones, what happened? Did you really eat your child?
LJ: I just wanna go home! (On the verge of tears) I'm sorry for what I did! I'm sorry!
Lady: How will this affect this week's show? Are you going to be in jail?
(The young red headed officer comes up to the lady.)
Officer: You're gonna need to leave!
LJ: Lonnie!
(The officer pulls out his flashlight and whacks Jones on the head with it. Jones falls down, not from the strength of the blow, but from the unexpectedmentness.)
Officer: You have the right to remain silent, bitch!
LJ: (Crying) I'm sorry Lonnie! I really didn't mean it!
(The scene slowly fades to black as the Cops logo comes onto the screen. Silence as we go off.)
(The only light that illuminates the scene comes from the surrounding's lights. A 7-11 is seen in the far distance, with it's classic sign lit up. The street is otherwise deserted.)
Driving Cop: Well, Damon, seems there's no trouble to be had tonight.
(The passenger, Damon, kicks his spit shine boots onto the dashboard. He pulls out a pair of sunglasses and puts them on. He reaches down, grabs a toothpick, and sticks it in his mouth. The man is now relaxing.)
Damon: Well, Charlie, we did a hell of a day. I mean, that thug did ask for the nightstick.
(Charlie only nods in agreement. With this, the light turns green. Charlie speeds past the white line and hauls, with no regards to his own laws.)
(Suddenly, a voice, like in Charlie's Angels, is heard. It is a female's voice, probably black.)
Voice: Car Damlie we got ourselves some loudmouth punks at 1842 and a half Chestnut. Neighbors can't sleep. Over.
(The two men look at one another. Damon drops his toothpick and glasses, straightens himself up, and rolls his neck. Charlie immediatley stops the car. Charlie spits in his hand, while Damon does the same. The two hands mesh. Without looking, Charlie speaks.)
Charlie: Roger.
(We go to a bird's eye view and see a ferocious U-turn from Charlie. The scene slowly fades out.)
(The scene fades back in with our two beloved officers walking to a familar shed. It is that of Lawnmower Jones, the man with a plan. The two casually walk up to the shed's door. Damon looks to Charlie.)
Damon: If he attacks, hit him low!
(Charlie nods and places his right hand on his nightstick. We here lady screams from inside, and Damon knocks.)
Damon: Open the door, it's the police!
(Another loud scream is heard, and the two look at one another. Damon backs up, and uses his huge foot to knock the door down.)
Damon: Freeze mother fucker!
(We see the inside of Jones' shed. Jones is on the floor, crying and rolling. Lonnie is behind him. Jones has a black eye and a bloody lip. His TV title is still around his waist. The two officers lunge and tackle Jones, pinning him even more. The scene slowly fades to black with Jones screaming like a girl.)
(The scene opens with Jones sitting on the curb of his street, handcuffed. He has bruises on his face, bloody lip, and bloody nose. The title is still around his waist. The neighborhood has all come out to see the spectacle. People in nightgowns, pajamas, underwear all point and stare. The two officers are sweating, breathing heavily. A local news station has showed up, KQCA 6, and the cameraman is following Damon. A few extra squad cars have arrived.)
Damon: The guy went insane. He was beating up his wife, we went in, tried to calm him down. We told him it's all OK, we were here to help. But uh, I guess he didn't need our help. He needed to prove his "toughness". He swung first, got Charlie in the eyes-he's a pro fighter, so it hurt him. But uh, I was able to slap on the cuffs and now he gets to spend the night in Rapeville.
(We see Charlie getting help from a fat, blonde female officer. She has on white gloves, and is helping the wound. A young white officer with red hair, same black outfit, with shorts, and an orange traffic overwear is taking notes on a notepad. He is talking to Lonnie.)
Officer: So, he instigated the fight?
(No movement.)
Officer: I understand. Sometimes people just go crazy. It's not you, it's him.
(The officer writes and nods in agreement at the same time.)
Officer: Right, and this will happen. One more thing. Did he force himself on you sexually?
(The scene cuts back to Jones, who wears the same blank expression. For once, it seems like he isn't the maniac.)
(A petit, older blonde lady with enough Botox on her face to save Beverly Hills for life runs over to Jones. She has on a blue dress outfit.)
Lady: Jones, what happened? Did you really eat your child?
LJ: I just wanna go home! (On the verge of tears) I'm sorry for what I did! I'm sorry!
Lady: How will this affect this week's show? Are you going to be in jail?
(The young red headed officer comes up to the lady.)
Officer: You're gonna need to leave!
LJ: Lonnie!
(The officer pulls out his flashlight and whacks Jones on the head with it. Jones falls down, not from the strength of the blow, but from the unexpectedmentness.)
Officer: You have the right to remain silent, bitch!
LJ: (Crying) I'm sorry Lonnie! I really didn't mean it!
(The scene slowly fades to black as the Cops logo comes onto the screen. Silence as we go off.)
