Post by cVc™ on Mar 20, 2016 13:07:56 GMT -5
Unorthodox
3/18/2016
Harlan County, KY
Harlan Grocery
11:22 AM
A black panel van pulls up in front of the Harlan grocery. Preacher Jacob Beavers is driving the old beat up van, the manager slash husband of The Rad Russian. The sliding door on the side of the van quickly slides open. The rusted doors makes a screeching noise as the door opens. The Rad Russian and Debbie “Do-Me” Crank sits at the door. Debbie changed her name after she and the other two carved “cVc” into the foreheads a week earlier. Pixie Paradoxxx crouches down and eases towards the van door. Pixie, Debbie and The Rad Russian Subject 31 all pile out of the van. Preacher Jacobs shuts the driver side door and joins them on the opposite side of the van. Chance Von Crank scoots out of the van also.
Pixie looks at Chance with real concern across her face. “What, bitch?” Chance asks. She reluctantly answers him.
“Your check didn’t go through. So we can’t eat this week and the drive to Detroit won’t be a short one.” She replies. Chance looks at the russian and Debbie, looking for an answer they just do not have. Two cameramen come out of the van also, carrying various gear to film with.
Chance looks over behind the grocery. “The brick corridor exit would make a great place to film a promo”, he thinks quietly to himself. Chance turns to Pixie after pointing out the location to the two cameramen.
“You need to feed us. It’s a whores job to make sure the men are fed. Next week we will have double the money with two checks but we must survive. You know what to do Pixie. If you don’t get us food, we will leave you here.” Chance threatens.
Pixie walks away from the group alongside Subject 31, The Rad Russian. “We need his meds now” Pixie whispers to 31. The russian whips around to see if it’s husband, Preacher Jacob is looking. He is not. Subject 31 slips back to the driver's side of the van. The russian quietly opens the door and slips it’s hand down in the console between the seats. 31 pulls out a bottle of pills that read, “Oxycontin 40 MG”. 31 takes the pills and carefully hides them in it’s bust.
Chance also slips back into the van. He takes out a pocket knife and begins to whittle on a small stick that was on the floor of the panel van. A small box with a rag covering it sits out from him. cVc yanks the rag off and exposes the rattlesnake. Preacher Jacob takes this snake everywhere incase the lord compels him to handle it. Crank begins poking the snake through the small holes in the top of it’s container. He pokes it with the sharp end of the stick, pissing it off to no end.
The snake strikes at the side of it’s container now, completely enraged. Chance stops poking it after he has it riled up. He sneaks back out of the van then pats preacher Jacob on the back. Jacob turns to face cVc.
“You need to bring that snake with us over there to the brick exit. The tunnel looking brick will be the backdrop and you will be off to the side handling that goddamned rattlesnake.” Chance explains. The preacher looks behind cVc and directly at the uncovered rattler. He watches it strike the container completely riled up now.
“I have to be moved by the good lord to handle that beast.” Preacher Jacob whispers. Chance gets up in his face, nose to nose.
“You better get that motherfucker to moving on you, then. Because if you don’t handle that goddamn snake I am going to leave you in a puddle of bitch here on the street! Got it!?” Chance asks.
The preacher nods his head in agreement with Chance. Crank then turns his attention to Pixie, who is having a side meeting with the russian and Debbie “Do-Me”. The preacher walks past the four of them carrying the snake. He follows the cameramen towards the brick tunneled exit. Crank joins the huddle of Pixie, Debbie and 31.
“Pixie… You need to go in there and look for Maggie. She will be an older lady wearing a nightgown. She will be in the hamburger section pretending to be shopping but she isn’t. She only has one purpose in that entire store and I am sure you will figure that out. cVc has to go own two goons and a world champion via Youtube. Get us some fuckin’ food or stay here.” Chance threatens.
The russian, Pixie and Debbie all head for the entrance of the grocery store. Chance looks over behind the grocery to watch the cameraman set up. The store owner shakes hands with them. He loves free publicity and is a huge Chance Von Crank fan.
Chance walks towards the exit but makes sure first that all three of his disciples walk into the grocery entrance.
Pixie, 31 and Debbie walk into the grocery store. Pixie grabs a store cart and begins to push it out in front of her. The people inside the store all gawk at the strange group. The big russian sticks out like a sore thumb. They all have scabbed over, “cVc”’s carved into their foreheads. Pixie pushes the cart on however, searching for the meat section of the grocery. 31 suddenly can smell the steak and fresh cut meat. The russian begins to lead the three towards the meat section of the store using only her sense of smell. They walk through the pasta section quickly and come on the other side surrounded now by meat.
Pixie swings around to search for the woman. People continue to give awkward stares at the three. Debbie notices a woman leaned up against the hamburger isle. She is sitting up on her fist using the cart and side of the meat container to prop herself up. She appears to be in here late 50s and fast asleep.
“Hey Sugar?” Pixie calls out. The woman does not respond as the three approach.
Pixie pushes the woman’s arm suddenly. She then screams, “Hey Sugar!”
The woman comes to and she tries her best to focus her gaze at Pixie. Her eyes cross but she finally gets them straight. Pixie laughs at how intoxicated the woman appears to be.
“How many pills do you got and how much food do you want?” Maggie asks. 31 pulls the bottle of oxycontin out of her bust then hands them over to Pixie. Pixie shakes the bottle at Maggie then asks, “We got this whole bottle… How much food can we get?”
The old woman’s eyes widen after she notices they are oxycontin. The holy grail of pills so she snatches them up quickly.
“I will fill your cart for this entire bottle. See.. You give me these pills then we go through the store and you pick and choose the food you want. I will then take them to the front of the store and pay for the food with my food stamp card. This transaction will be nonrefundable.” Maggie explains.
Maggie takes the pills and hides them in her panties. This grosses Debbie out so she gags a bit. Maggie ignores this and takes control of Pixie’s cart and begins pushing it away. “Let’s go fill up this cart, it’s almost lunch time.” Maggie continues.
Meanwhile outside at the exit, the owner of the grocery has detoured store traffic to exit out the front door. The cameramen aim the camera’s at cVc. He stands just underneath the brick tunnel now wearing his infamous rhinestone robe. Preacher Jacob stands to the left of cVc looking down at the rattler. The snake continues to strike at the side of it’s container. cVc riled it up something fierce earlier and it’s still pissed off.
Maggie, Pixie, 31 and Debbie all push the on cart around the store. They pick out the best of the best of the food. They laugh and all love shopping so freely.
Back outside at the exit, the two cameramen begin a countdown. They both point at cVc to let him know he is live. The cVc Youtube Channel goes live as Chance begins.
“Well… Well… Well. The Shock N’ Rolla has snuck back into Harlan. I love cutting a live one here because shits always real here. Chance Von Crank has made his way back to the main event in record time. I can see the future too. My opponents this week will go on and on about who is Chance Von Crank? They will talk about how I don’t matter and probably do a gay podcast in some shitty accent. The truth is… Dune, Occulo and Joey Flash all wish they had made it to the Main Event within two months of being here. I already have been wrestler of the week and I continue to tear through anyone that is put in front of me. Those three dicks think because I still have that new guy smell that I will be tender but I will not. You three wish you had a little of what cVc is made of. That kind of magic can’t be bottled nor faked. I find it insulting that you think you can compete with me, cVc.” Chance continues.
“There’s like three Dune’s in this one fed. Can the real Dune Please Stand Up? You got the card carrying ability that a lesbian militant has. You don’t. You seem two dimensional while the Shock N’ Rolla is live and in three D. The only thing shitter than your 80’s sci-fi rip off name is Occulo’s move set. Give me a goddamned break. I love ripping you a new one. What a crock of shit.” Chance roasts.
The preacher reaches down at Chance’s insistence. Preacher Jacob opens the lid of the rattlesnake and watches as the furious snakes strikes. He hovers his hands above it attempting in vain to catch it. Chance continues.
“Occulo… I hate you too. You look like some douche that would play Dr. Who. A tough guy that can’t fight. Forgive me because I can’t give a single fuck about you. How are these cocksuckers champions? Who’s dick did you all suck? I think they put gold on you all so the gold could take away from those ugly fuckin’ mugs you call faces. I want to believe you can compete but you make it difficult, occulo. I saw your move set on the back of a trading card and knew immediately you can’t wrestle. You are a scared man that has been carried by a monster asshole and a douche that beat half a Jayson Price. Weak.” Chance exclaims.
The preacher snatches the snake behind the head suddenly. Chance glances over and his signature sly grin crosses his face. The preacher fights with the rattler. Suddenly the snake strikes at his face. The snake bites his lip then strikes him in the forehead. The Preacher falls flat to the brick floor. Chance leans in closer to the camera as a crowd rushes in to help the preacher.
“That brings me to you, Joey Flash. As you can see people I don’t want around eventually get out of my way one way or another. This preacher believed that God told him to play with a deadly animal. The Harlan County devil infiltrated his ranks and stole his monster away from him. Dune may be some sort of monster but he is no match for Subject 31. The Family will crush the Sentinels because you have weakened over time. Dag and Logan will back up the Trailer Park Prodigy and push him towards victory. You are the guy here now. Since you beat half a Price and have the big boy belt. You are the one I want to pin. I want to win yes, but I want to pin the World Champion in the main event just to prove my point. That point being that I am the best wrestler living” Chance roasts.
The grocery store empties after the free rattlesnake crawls away. Chance continues to look into the camera. Pixie, Subject 31 and Debbie “Do-Me” walk out the entrance of the store. The cart is now full of food. They push it towards cVc where the preacher is now going into shock. He is dieing in front of everyone. The cameramen leave the cameras on a tripod but rush in to give CPR. The russian comes up on her dying husband and a grin crosses it’s face. Crank continues shooting.
“You three men are weak as a whole. Dune and Occulo have to know this is the Joey Flash show. You two do not matter in the grand scheme of things. That’s why The Family will systematically tear you all three apart. I have already planted the seeds of doubt. Dune do you honestly think that Joey Flash gives a fuck if you live or die? What if cVc ends you in that ring? Do you think Joey will take care of your kids and wife? He don’t give a fuck.” Chance spews.
Pixie and Debbie tend to the preacher also. “No, take the food to the van!” Chance screams at them. Pixie, Debbie and 31 all take off pushing the cart. The cameramen refuse to leave so Chance looks into the mounted cameras once more.
“Joey… You can look past me all you like. You know as well as I do what I have done. I am wrestling you already aren’t I? Think about that after you watch these awesome promo. My unorthodox approach leads to wins. I hope you hit me with your best shot. I want to know what you really got. The big bad Chance Von Crank is gonna huff and puff then shatter your paper champion ass.” Chance finishes.
Crank walks over to the preacher whose face is now all swollen up. The preacher takes his last breaths while staring the Harlan County Devil in the eye. The scene comes to a close as the preacher dies.
THE END.
3/18/2016
Harlan County, KY
Harlan Grocery
11:22 AM
A black panel van pulls up in front of the Harlan grocery. Preacher Jacob Beavers is driving the old beat up van, the manager slash husband of The Rad Russian. The sliding door on the side of the van quickly slides open. The rusted doors makes a screeching noise as the door opens. The Rad Russian and Debbie “Do-Me” Crank sits at the door. Debbie changed her name after she and the other two carved “cVc” into the foreheads a week earlier. Pixie Paradoxxx crouches down and eases towards the van door. Pixie, Debbie and The Rad Russian Subject 31 all pile out of the van. Preacher Jacobs shuts the driver side door and joins them on the opposite side of the van. Chance Von Crank scoots out of the van also.
Pixie looks at Chance with real concern across her face. “What, bitch?” Chance asks. She reluctantly answers him.
“Your check didn’t go through. So we can’t eat this week and the drive to Detroit won’t be a short one.” She replies. Chance looks at the russian and Debbie, looking for an answer they just do not have. Two cameramen come out of the van also, carrying various gear to film with.
Chance looks over behind the grocery. “The brick corridor exit would make a great place to film a promo”, he thinks quietly to himself. Chance turns to Pixie after pointing out the location to the two cameramen.
“You need to feed us. It’s a whores job to make sure the men are fed. Next week we will have double the money with two checks but we must survive. You know what to do Pixie. If you don’t get us food, we will leave you here.” Chance threatens.
Pixie walks away from the group alongside Subject 31, The Rad Russian. “We need his meds now” Pixie whispers to 31. The russian whips around to see if it’s husband, Preacher Jacob is looking. He is not. Subject 31 slips back to the driver's side of the van. The russian quietly opens the door and slips it’s hand down in the console between the seats. 31 pulls out a bottle of pills that read, “Oxycontin 40 MG”. 31 takes the pills and carefully hides them in it’s bust.
Chance also slips back into the van. He takes out a pocket knife and begins to whittle on a small stick that was on the floor of the panel van. A small box with a rag covering it sits out from him. cVc yanks the rag off and exposes the rattlesnake. Preacher Jacob takes this snake everywhere incase the lord compels him to handle it. Crank begins poking the snake through the small holes in the top of it’s container. He pokes it with the sharp end of the stick, pissing it off to no end.
The snake strikes at the side of it’s container now, completely enraged. Chance stops poking it after he has it riled up. He sneaks back out of the van then pats preacher Jacob on the back. Jacob turns to face cVc.
“You need to bring that snake with us over there to the brick exit. The tunnel looking brick will be the backdrop and you will be off to the side handling that goddamned rattlesnake.” Chance explains. The preacher looks behind cVc and directly at the uncovered rattler. He watches it strike the container completely riled up now.
“I have to be moved by the good lord to handle that beast.” Preacher Jacob whispers. Chance gets up in his face, nose to nose.
“You better get that motherfucker to moving on you, then. Because if you don’t handle that goddamn snake I am going to leave you in a puddle of bitch here on the street! Got it!?” Chance asks.
The preacher nods his head in agreement with Chance. Crank then turns his attention to Pixie, who is having a side meeting with the russian and Debbie “Do-Me”. The preacher walks past the four of them carrying the snake. He follows the cameramen towards the brick tunneled exit. Crank joins the huddle of Pixie, Debbie and 31.
“Pixie… You need to go in there and look for Maggie. She will be an older lady wearing a nightgown. She will be in the hamburger section pretending to be shopping but she isn’t. She only has one purpose in that entire store and I am sure you will figure that out. cVc has to go own two goons and a world champion via Youtube. Get us some fuckin’ food or stay here.” Chance threatens.
The russian, Pixie and Debbie all head for the entrance of the grocery store. Chance looks over behind the grocery to watch the cameraman set up. The store owner shakes hands with them. He loves free publicity and is a huge Chance Von Crank fan.
Chance walks towards the exit but makes sure first that all three of his disciples walk into the grocery entrance.
Pixie, 31 and Debbie walk into the grocery store. Pixie grabs a store cart and begins to push it out in front of her. The people inside the store all gawk at the strange group. The big russian sticks out like a sore thumb. They all have scabbed over, “cVc”’s carved into their foreheads. Pixie pushes the cart on however, searching for the meat section of the grocery. 31 suddenly can smell the steak and fresh cut meat. The russian begins to lead the three towards the meat section of the store using only her sense of smell. They walk through the pasta section quickly and come on the other side surrounded now by meat.
Pixie swings around to search for the woman. People continue to give awkward stares at the three. Debbie notices a woman leaned up against the hamburger isle. She is sitting up on her fist using the cart and side of the meat container to prop herself up. She appears to be in here late 50s and fast asleep.
“Hey Sugar?” Pixie calls out. The woman does not respond as the three approach.
Pixie pushes the woman’s arm suddenly. She then screams, “Hey Sugar!”
The woman comes to and she tries her best to focus her gaze at Pixie. Her eyes cross but she finally gets them straight. Pixie laughs at how intoxicated the woman appears to be.
“How many pills do you got and how much food do you want?” Maggie asks. 31 pulls the bottle of oxycontin out of her bust then hands them over to Pixie. Pixie shakes the bottle at Maggie then asks, “We got this whole bottle… How much food can we get?”
The old woman’s eyes widen after she notices they are oxycontin. The holy grail of pills so she snatches them up quickly.
“I will fill your cart for this entire bottle. See.. You give me these pills then we go through the store and you pick and choose the food you want. I will then take them to the front of the store and pay for the food with my food stamp card. This transaction will be nonrefundable.” Maggie explains.
Maggie takes the pills and hides them in her panties. This grosses Debbie out so she gags a bit. Maggie ignores this and takes control of Pixie’s cart and begins pushing it away. “Let’s go fill up this cart, it’s almost lunch time.” Maggie continues.
Meanwhile outside at the exit, the owner of the grocery has detoured store traffic to exit out the front door. The cameramen aim the camera’s at cVc. He stands just underneath the brick tunnel now wearing his infamous rhinestone robe. Preacher Jacob stands to the left of cVc looking down at the rattler. The snake continues to strike at the side of it’s container. cVc riled it up something fierce earlier and it’s still pissed off.
Maggie, Pixie, 31 and Debbie all push the on cart around the store. They pick out the best of the best of the food. They laugh and all love shopping so freely.
Back outside at the exit, the two cameramen begin a countdown. They both point at cVc to let him know he is live. The cVc Youtube Channel goes live as Chance begins.
“Well… Well… Well. The Shock N’ Rolla has snuck back into Harlan. I love cutting a live one here because shits always real here. Chance Von Crank has made his way back to the main event in record time. I can see the future too. My opponents this week will go on and on about who is Chance Von Crank? They will talk about how I don’t matter and probably do a gay podcast in some shitty accent. The truth is… Dune, Occulo and Joey Flash all wish they had made it to the Main Event within two months of being here. I already have been wrestler of the week and I continue to tear through anyone that is put in front of me. Those three dicks think because I still have that new guy smell that I will be tender but I will not. You three wish you had a little of what cVc is made of. That kind of magic can’t be bottled nor faked. I find it insulting that you think you can compete with me, cVc.” Chance continues.
“There’s like three Dune’s in this one fed. Can the real Dune Please Stand Up? You got the card carrying ability that a lesbian militant has. You don’t. You seem two dimensional while the Shock N’ Rolla is live and in three D. The only thing shitter than your 80’s sci-fi rip off name is Occulo’s move set. Give me a goddamned break. I love ripping you a new one. What a crock of shit.” Chance roasts.
The preacher reaches down at Chance’s insistence. Preacher Jacob opens the lid of the rattlesnake and watches as the furious snakes strikes. He hovers his hands above it attempting in vain to catch it. Chance continues.
“Occulo… I hate you too. You look like some douche that would play Dr. Who. A tough guy that can’t fight. Forgive me because I can’t give a single fuck about you. How are these cocksuckers champions? Who’s dick did you all suck? I think they put gold on you all so the gold could take away from those ugly fuckin’ mugs you call faces. I want to believe you can compete but you make it difficult, occulo. I saw your move set on the back of a trading card and knew immediately you can’t wrestle. You are a scared man that has been carried by a monster asshole and a douche that beat half a Jayson Price. Weak.” Chance exclaims.
The preacher snatches the snake behind the head suddenly. Chance glances over and his signature sly grin crosses his face. The preacher fights with the rattler. Suddenly the snake strikes at his face. The snake bites his lip then strikes him in the forehead. The Preacher falls flat to the brick floor. Chance leans in closer to the camera as a crowd rushes in to help the preacher.
“That brings me to you, Joey Flash. As you can see people I don’t want around eventually get out of my way one way or another. This preacher believed that God told him to play with a deadly animal. The Harlan County devil infiltrated his ranks and stole his monster away from him. Dune may be some sort of monster but he is no match for Subject 31. The Family will crush the Sentinels because you have weakened over time. Dag and Logan will back up the Trailer Park Prodigy and push him towards victory. You are the guy here now. Since you beat half a Price and have the big boy belt. You are the one I want to pin. I want to win yes, but I want to pin the World Champion in the main event just to prove my point. That point being that I am the best wrestler living” Chance roasts.
The grocery store empties after the free rattlesnake crawls away. Chance continues to look into the camera. Pixie, Subject 31 and Debbie “Do-Me” walk out the entrance of the store. The cart is now full of food. They push it towards cVc where the preacher is now going into shock. He is dieing in front of everyone. The cameramen leave the cameras on a tripod but rush in to give CPR. The russian comes up on her dying husband and a grin crosses it’s face. Crank continues shooting.
“You three men are weak as a whole. Dune and Occulo have to know this is the Joey Flash show. You two do not matter in the grand scheme of things. That’s why The Family will systematically tear you all three apart. I have already planted the seeds of doubt. Dune do you honestly think that Joey Flash gives a fuck if you live or die? What if cVc ends you in that ring? Do you think Joey will take care of your kids and wife? He don’t give a fuck.” Chance spews.
Pixie and Debbie tend to the preacher also. “No, take the food to the van!” Chance screams at them. Pixie, Debbie and 31 all take off pushing the cart. The cameramen refuse to leave so Chance looks into the mounted cameras once more.
“Joey… You can look past me all you like. You know as well as I do what I have done. I am wrestling you already aren’t I? Think about that after you watch these awesome promo. My unorthodox approach leads to wins. I hope you hit me with your best shot. I want to know what you really got. The big bad Chance Von Crank is gonna huff and puff then shatter your paper champion ass.” Chance finishes.
Crank walks over to the preacher whose face is now all swollen up. The preacher takes his last breaths while staring the Harlan County Devil in the eye. The scene comes to a close as the preacher dies.
THE END.
