Post by John Rabid on Mar 18, 2016 7:02:12 GMT -5
Hello, my name is Doctor Jonathan Rabid. Last Month I challenged Jay Omega to a Nightmare Chamber Match, to be held at Corey Black's dog and pony show, otherwise known as XIII. Due to it's time travelling paradoxical nature, I am already it's winner. My hand raised in victory as thousands of screaming U.K. fans, packed inside the iconic Royal Albert Hall (Where Dag Riddlebox keeps his other ball) cheered my name in unison, as Jay Omega...thankfully died. Yes, the so-called "Hardcore Maniac" is no more. Jay's heart gave in under the sheer pressure and blinding brilliance of my vastly superior wrestling technique. I destroyed a superman. A merciful end that should have been the close of this happy tale...
But, just as idiots around the world continue to speculate and believe in the idea of Alien visitors from other planets, so do reports persist that the ghost of Jay Omega has been spotted. A mournful, melancholy specter, that cannot let go of this plane of existence. A weeping phantom, tethered by sorrow and embarrassment to this world by my well manicured hands. Yes, followers of Rabid! Today we will peel back the scuttlebutt and uncover the startling truth! Does the ghost of Jay Omega actually linger like a ripe bout of flatulence? Or are such rumors merely the wish fulfillment of drug addicted nerds and delusional rapscallions? Below is the documented evidence. YOU BE THE JUDGE!
Casefile 076 - 441: Jay Omega Needs A New Job.
Discovering that you are both a non corporeal spirit and unemployed must be a shock. But kudos to Jay Omega for soldering on; here we see Jay attempting office work. Although his slacker nature seems to be preventing him from doing any actual work. So I guess nothing's changed then.
Casefile A223 - Zero Six Beta: Jay Omega Checks Out.
The devastating power of the Kingdom Destroyer cannot be disputed (Just ask Dune) it's an explosive cocktail, one part neutron bomb of artistic flare, one part nightmare of surgical precision. Those that have experienced it have spoken of almost feeling as if time has stopped. A missing time incident that leaves the victim haunted. For the ghost of Jay Omega, the Kingdom destroyer's temporal abilities were amplified to such a degree, that his spirit was sent hurtling backwards through time. This erstwhile time traveller was slammed back to the year 2003. To a hotel, where all the anguish and disappointment of his loss at XIII manifested in a violent outburst. The saddest part is that Jay never even stopped to cover the cost of repairs when he left! Demonstrating to the world that he was not only a cry baby, but cheap to boot.
Casefile Epsilon Delta Two: 5-7-0-9-2-2-8-1-9-0-1...3: Jay Omega Attempts Possession. Hilarity Ensues.
But, just as idiots around the world continue to speculate and believe in the idea of Alien visitors from other planets, so do reports persist that the ghost of Jay Omega has been spotted. A mournful, melancholy specter, that cannot let go of this plane of existence. A weeping phantom, tethered by sorrow and embarrassment to this world by my well manicured hands. Yes, followers of Rabid! Today we will peel back the scuttlebutt and uncover the startling truth! Does the ghost of Jay Omega actually linger like a ripe bout of flatulence? Or are such rumors merely the wish fulfillment of drug addicted nerds and delusional rapscallions? Below is the documented evidence. YOU BE THE JUDGE!
Casefile 076 - 441: Jay Omega Needs A New Job.
Discovering that you are both a non corporeal spirit and unemployed must be a shock. But kudos to Jay Omega for soldering on; here we see Jay attempting office work. Although his slacker nature seems to be preventing him from doing any actual work. So I guess nothing's changed then.
Casefile A223 - Zero Six Beta: Jay Omega Checks Out.
The devastating power of the Kingdom Destroyer cannot be disputed (Just ask Dune) it's an explosive cocktail, one part neutron bomb of artistic flare, one part nightmare of surgical precision. Those that have experienced it have spoken of almost feeling as if time has stopped. A missing time incident that leaves the victim haunted. For the ghost of Jay Omega, the Kingdom destroyer's temporal abilities were amplified to such a degree, that his spirit was sent hurtling backwards through time. This erstwhile time traveller was slammed back to the year 2003. To a hotel, where all the anguish and disappointment of his loss at XIII manifested in a violent outburst. The saddest part is that Jay never even stopped to cover the cost of repairs when he left! Demonstrating to the world that he was not only a cry baby, but cheap to boot.
Casefile Epsilon Delta Two: 5-7-0-9-2-2-8-1-9-0-1...3: Jay Omega Attempts Possession. Hilarity Ensues.
Letting go can be the hardest part of moving on from this world. I don't know that for a fact, since I've never hit myself with my own finisher, but I can imagine that's the case. Evidence backs up my supposition, such as the documented case of Gunnery Sergeant and Two Time Honolulu Breakdance Champion, Gonzalez E. Gonzalez, who three weeks ago experienced possession, his mind and body commandeered and controlled by the ghastly thrall of Jay Omega.
"I opened the glass door and reached out for some YooHoo..." began Gonzalez. "Then I heard the screams, it was this strange Canadian voice I think, three octaves too high to belong to an actual man. It spoke about being bodied to death. About pissing it's trucks upon landing and hearing the sound of it's own neck cracking. Then It just kept saying the same word, over and over again: Rabid! Rabid! Rabid! That's when I passed out"
Startling. Below is the footage that accompanies the most disturbing aspect of Jay Omega: wanting to be inside men. (steady)
The above cases, I believe, are just the tip of the iceberg. If you yourself have experienced a Jay Omega sighting, or know someone who has; please contact the scientific study for the prevention of Jay Omega on: 555 OH-NO-MEGA-YOU-DON'T!
That's 555 OH-NO-MEGA-YOU-DON'T!
And please, don't have nightmares.
It's Jay Omega. You have nothing to fear.
