Vulgar Inhales Chlorofluorocarbon and Yells at a Plecostomus
Mar 16, 2016 19:04:35 GMT -5
Benjamin Atreyu and John Rabid like this
Post by Vulgar on Mar 16, 2016 19:04:35 GMT -5
Through cosmic darkness the Lamprey wades
Out from its realm of birth
Keen to suckle on its prey
That wretched place called Earth
What did you dream about last night? Autumn leaves caressing your hair? A lover in your embrace? Baby-blue cherubs dancing around your bed? No… Chances are, you dreamed of me. You dreamed of sepulchral blackness, slaughterhouse smells, and depraved monstrosities slithering in and around your inert body. Chances are… You’re very, very afraid to go back to bed this evening.
It doesn’t matter where you live in this city, or how tightly you lock your doors. Corporeal boundaries are nothing to me. I can slip into your brain like a hedgesaw through a dog’s stomach. All your thoughts, all your secrets… They’re open to me to use and mock as I please. I can make you feel pain that you wouldn’t even think could exist; when you’re in my world, ANYTHING is possible.
The mind is a labyrinthine gateway to the shadowland of pre-existence. Every time I violate one of you, I get closer and closer to opening up the never-ending sea of oblivion that lies beneath the banal, tri-dimensional membrane that is our reality. If my depravity keeps going on unchecked, the eternal nothingness might reach out on its own through the pinholes I’ve poked in all my victims’ brains and drag this world down into the stygian depths of its body. That would mark a new epoch in human history, one defined by the collective populace of the world being simultaneously driven insane after having been castrated from the magnetic field we evolved to function in.
But hey, you know… Ultimately I’m not some occult druid trying to commandeer Satan’s army into Heaven. I’m just a lonely fella in a quiet part of town looking for some fun. My jokes might be ripping lacerations into the fabric of reality, but they’re great at helping me blow off some steam after a long day. If you see me walking down Robson Street, don’t be afraid to say hi. If you’re nice, I might give you a discount the next time I work one of your children’s birthday parties.
