Post by Lawnmower Jones on Aug 29, 2006 17:50:08 GMT -5
(The scene opens up inside of Lawnmower Jones' shed. Jones wears a worn out expression on his face-only natural after a week of rollercoaster emotions. First Jones travels to Scotland, preparing for a nice vacation. His vacation and honeymoon are interrupted by the ongoing hunt for Jones' soul by suits at ESPN, offering him reality show contracts. Jones, being the nice fellow that he is, accepts the position. All this was happening while Jones was still preparing for his epic match with Nytro and CO for the coveted WCF Television Title. Plus, Jones' best friend, Logan, having a match with Torture in the main event for the World Title. Jones walked out alive, physically, but he is war torn from the loss suffered by Logan.)
(But now Jones can relax. He can spend time with his new wife, Lonnie Jones, and the newest member of their family, TV title. Jones, being the sick fuck that he is, has probably named the title something like Alfred. Who knows?)
(Jones has the two duffel bags slung over his shoulder, pushing Lonnie with one hand, and the new TV title strapped around his waist. Jones immediatley throws the bags onto the floor, pushes Lonnie to the couch, and plops down onto it. Jones lets out a tremendous sigh, rubs his forehead, and yawns.)
LJ: Well Lonnie, it's been a hell of a week, hasn't it?
(Apparently, Lonnie has replied. We're all just too stupid to know what. Jones nods in agreement.)
LJ: I know what ya mean, tots. At least we struck gold, right? I mean, we could've walked away from Ultimate Showdown with nothing, correct? Lonnie?
(Jones immediatley breaks down into tears.)
LJ: Why did he have to lose? Why? He shoulda won.....
(Jones drags out the last won until he can't breathe. His face, red as an apple, has salty tears rolling down his cheeks. Strings of saliva stick from the bottom to the top of Jones' mouth. He can't breathe now, but, within a second, gains his breath and starts over, wailing.)
LJ: I'd have given him my life for the title! It's not fair! The pin, it was quick! It had to be! It wasn't fair! He never loses!
(The scene slowly fades out.)
(The scene fades back in, with Jones' composure back to normal. He is sitting in the same exact spot as he was before. His TV title is still strapped around his waist.)
LJ: Well Lonnie, at least I have the week off. I mean-
(Jones stares at Lonnie. Unbeknownst to the viewing audience, she is "talking" Jones begins to shake his head.)
LJ: That's disgusting, Lonnie! I mean, why in the hell should royalty like Logan and meself have to team with those cumstains Nate Nytro and Dake Ken! Well, at least me and Logan can walk out and let the other team destroy them, ha! Those guys-four, you say?- are going to have some prime pieces of meat in Ken and Nytro, two men-
(Again, Lonnie is speaking. Jones looks dumbfounded.)
LJ: What? Are you kidding me, Lonnie? Who? Drake? The wannabe? Satan's apprentice? Dick Cheney? Terry Loss? Oh, Cross. And Zafirah? Is that a penguin? A woman, eh. A WOMAN?!?
(This last comment seems to irk Jones. He stands up and paces around the room. Jones grabs his head, clutching it like he is trying to rip it out.)
LJ: Women don't belong in a ring, they belong in a house! Who's the idiot who hired her? This is just stupid! What's next, women in the government? What's this world coming to? Aye, yi yi! I tell ya, Lonnie, it's a good thing that the Team of Treachery is here to stop all of this madness.
(Jones paces to the kitchen. His back is turned while walking, but he stops. We here a cocky sniffle, see his shoulders rise up, roll his neck, and crack his knuckles. Jones turns away with a sadistic look on his face and slowly walks up to Lonnie.)
LJ: (In a low voice) What did you say?[/color]
(Silence fills the room. After a moment, Jones chuckles to himself. The chuckle quickly turns into a maniacal laughter that turns Jones' face red.)
LJ: You like this woman? Ha, Lonnie, if you were to ever have your own opinion, you'd have to ask me! You didn't ask me! So therefore, no! Go make me a sammich.
(Jones goes to sit on the couch. Right as his knee bends to sit and his ass elevating a foot from the cushion, Jones looks to Lonnie, who hasn't moved.)
LJ: I said, make me a sammich.
(Lonnie doesn't budge, standing her ground. Jones stands back up and walks to Lonnie. She only goes up to the midsection, because of the handlebars. Jones begins breathing heavily, not opening his mouth. He slaps the handlebar of Lonnie, pushing her over.)
LJ: Don't disobey me, Lonnie. I told you to do something, now do it!
(Lonnie, being the warrior she is, doesn't move. Jones gives a neck roll then pursues the opportunity to abuse Lonnie.)
LJ: It's about to get real messy!
(The scene fades to black as we hear punching sounds. We can only hope Lonnie survives.)
(But now Jones can relax. He can spend time with his new wife, Lonnie Jones, and the newest member of their family, TV title. Jones, being the sick fuck that he is, has probably named the title something like Alfred. Who knows?)
(Jones has the two duffel bags slung over his shoulder, pushing Lonnie with one hand, and the new TV title strapped around his waist. Jones immediatley throws the bags onto the floor, pushes Lonnie to the couch, and plops down onto it. Jones lets out a tremendous sigh, rubs his forehead, and yawns.)
LJ: Well Lonnie, it's been a hell of a week, hasn't it?
(Apparently, Lonnie has replied. We're all just too stupid to know what. Jones nods in agreement.)
LJ: I know what ya mean, tots. At least we struck gold, right? I mean, we could've walked away from Ultimate Showdown with nothing, correct? Lonnie?
(Jones immediatley breaks down into tears.)
LJ: Why did he have to lose? Why? He shoulda won.....
(Jones drags out the last won until he can't breathe. His face, red as an apple, has salty tears rolling down his cheeks. Strings of saliva stick from the bottom to the top of Jones' mouth. He can't breathe now, but, within a second, gains his breath and starts over, wailing.)
LJ: I'd have given him my life for the title! It's not fair! The pin, it was quick! It had to be! It wasn't fair! He never loses!
(The scene slowly fades out.)
(The scene fades back in, with Jones' composure back to normal. He is sitting in the same exact spot as he was before. His TV title is still strapped around his waist.)
LJ: Well Lonnie, at least I have the week off. I mean-
(Jones stares at Lonnie. Unbeknownst to the viewing audience, she is "talking" Jones begins to shake his head.)
LJ: That's disgusting, Lonnie! I mean, why in the hell should royalty like Logan and meself have to team with those cumstains Nate Nytro and Dake Ken! Well, at least me and Logan can walk out and let the other team destroy them, ha! Those guys-four, you say?- are going to have some prime pieces of meat in Ken and Nytro, two men-
(Again, Lonnie is speaking. Jones looks dumbfounded.)
LJ: What? Are you kidding me, Lonnie? Who? Drake? The wannabe? Satan's apprentice? Dick Cheney? Terry Loss? Oh, Cross. And Zafirah? Is that a penguin? A woman, eh. A WOMAN?!?
(This last comment seems to irk Jones. He stands up and paces around the room. Jones grabs his head, clutching it like he is trying to rip it out.)
LJ: Women don't belong in a ring, they belong in a house! Who's the idiot who hired her? This is just stupid! What's next, women in the government? What's this world coming to? Aye, yi yi! I tell ya, Lonnie, it's a good thing that the Team of Treachery is here to stop all of this madness.
(Jones paces to the kitchen. His back is turned while walking, but he stops. We here a cocky sniffle, see his shoulders rise up, roll his neck, and crack his knuckles. Jones turns away with a sadistic look on his face and slowly walks up to Lonnie.)
LJ: (In a low voice) What did you say?[/color]
(Silence fills the room. After a moment, Jones chuckles to himself. The chuckle quickly turns into a maniacal laughter that turns Jones' face red.)
LJ: You like this woman? Ha, Lonnie, if you were to ever have your own opinion, you'd have to ask me! You didn't ask me! So therefore, no! Go make me a sammich.
(Jones goes to sit on the couch. Right as his knee bends to sit and his ass elevating a foot from the cushion, Jones looks to Lonnie, who hasn't moved.)
LJ: I said, make me a sammich.
(Lonnie doesn't budge, standing her ground. Jones stands back up and walks to Lonnie. She only goes up to the midsection, because of the handlebars. Jones begins breathing heavily, not opening his mouth. He slaps the handlebar of Lonnie, pushing her over.)
LJ: Don't disobey me, Lonnie. I told you to do something, now do it!
(Lonnie, being the warrior she is, doesn't move. Jones gives a neck roll then pursues the opportunity to abuse Lonnie.)
LJ: It's about to get real messy!
(The scene fades to black as we hear punching sounds. We can only hope Lonnie survives.)
