Post by Steve Catt on Mar 27, 2007 19:06:26 GMT -5
:::Fade in to Hank Brown standing around at the WCF interview area.:::
Hank: Well folks, I have another interview this week with Merc. He has asked to say something, but I have a few questions for him as well. Such as...
:::Hank quickly spins around one hundred eighty degrees.:::
Hank: Ah-HA! ...oh. No one there. I could have sworn I heard something.
:::Suddenly, someone drops down from the ceiling behind Hank and lands on his feet. Merc stands up, pulls out a knife and puts it to Hank's throat.:::
Merc: Nice try.
:::Merc pulls the knife across Hank's throat. Hank makes a choking noise and falls to his knees. Merc turns to the camera and shows off the knife. It's rubber. Hank slowly gets to his feet as he puts it away.:::
Hank: Ugh...what the hell...
Merc: I told you that you need to be more cautious, but you almost got me this time. I'm a bit rusty.
Hank: This whole soldier thing of yours is getting old fast.
Merc: I can't change who I am.
Hank: Yeah, well, for all your talk about honor, you sure didn't act very honorably towards Disorder By Design.
Merc: Hey, I have the utmost respect for the referees and their authority, or at least as much respect as I can have for a WCF employee. But he went down, and when that happens the ring turns into a battlefield. You can strike first, or you can just sit there like a sheep and hope for the best. All I did was launch a preemptive attack before the other side broke the rules.
Hank: There you go bashing WCF again. What's your deal?
Merc: Look, I'm going to be honest here, which is all I'm able to do. I don't play games. I say what I mean and mean what I say. So I'll tell you that before I was contracted, I'd never seen a WCF match in my life. All I can go by is what I've seen in the tapes and what my employer has told me. And from what I've seen and heard, I don't really like this place. Frankly though, it doesn't really matter what I think. I'm here to do my job, and my feelings don't need to come into it. Having said that, I am representing my employer and I'm sure he wants everyone to know how displeased he is with this place. So just think of me as a messenger.
Hank: You say your feelings don't come into it, which I'll take to mean that all that matters to you is the money. I got the impression that you have fought on America's side before.
Merc: Yes, that would be correct, as well as her allies and, shall we say, private interests.
Hank: Have you ever fought for...the other side?
Merc: Oh, hell no. Listen, I live in this country and I like it here. Besides which, believe it or not, I do have morals, and I am morally opposed to killing civilians on purpose. Never again suggest that I might feel otherwise. It's just that WCF vs. NCW isn't exactly as important as a real war, you know? Now you know I'm glad to fight for NCW, but that's just a bonus for me. It happens that someone from NCW hired me. If someone from WCF had got to me first I would be fighting for them. That doesn't mean just anyone can hire me now. I am in a contract and I break it for no amount from nobody. I have rules. The rules cannot so much as bend. When you don't follow the rules, bad things happen.
:::Merc starts to get that look in his eyes again like he's somewhere else waiting for something to come over the horizon.:::
Hank: Uh...I'm not touching him this time.
Cameraman: Maybe he'll snap out of it on his own.
Hank: Just as long as he doesn't start screaming about...um...what was it?
Cameraman: Kangaroos?
Hank: No, I think it was koa--
Merc: THE KANGAROOS! THEY'RE COMING! DON'T JUST STAND THERE!
Hank: Ow, not so loud.
Merc: What?
Hank: You just yelled about--
Merc: Ah, yeah, that's O.K., no need to say anything else.
Hank: I'm starting to think you didn't stop mercenary work voluntarily.
Merc: You're doubting my credentials? Nobody questions me, least of all some reporter punk!
:::Hank looks taken aback. Merc's demeanor suddenly softens.:::
Merc: I'm sorry, I'm not a diplomat. Still though, I'll prove it to you. I happen to have some inside information.
Hank: Oh?
Merc: Yeah, you know Operation Iraqi Freedom? That's what it's called now, but that wasn't the original name the Pentagon was using internally. They came up with that to appease the press after they decided they wouldn't go for the original. Interested?
Hank: By all means, go ahead.
Merc: The original, internal name for Operation Iraqi Freedom was...Operation Wacky Iraqi Attacky.
:::Long silence.:::
Hank: Oh, a joke. Ha, you almost had me there.
Merc: And you just proved my point. You're a member of the press and you didn't like it. Now I'm done dealing with you, so I'm going to finish up with what I came here to say. I'm going to be out and about next week and I want a camera to be there. I'll give you the details later.
Hank: Why me?
Merc: Who else?
:::Hank is left speechless as Merc starts to walk away. Then he stops, turns and comes back into the camera's view.:::
Merc: For the record, I don't make jokes. Laughing is for homosexuals.
:::Merc walks away again. Hank is now speechless for completely different reasons. Fade out.:::
Hank: Well folks, I have another interview this week with Merc. He has asked to say something, but I have a few questions for him as well. Such as...
:::Hank quickly spins around one hundred eighty degrees.:::
Hank: Ah-HA! ...oh. No one there. I could have sworn I heard something.
:::Suddenly, someone drops down from the ceiling behind Hank and lands on his feet. Merc stands up, pulls out a knife and puts it to Hank's throat.:::
Merc: Nice try.
:::Merc pulls the knife across Hank's throat. Hank makes a choking noise and falls to his knees. Merc turns to the camera and shows off the knife. It's rubber. Hank slowly gets to his feet as he puts it away.:::
Hank: Ugh...what the hell...
Merc: I told you that you need to be more cautious, but you almost got me this time. I'm a bit rusty.
Hank: This whole soldier thing of yours is getting old fast.
Merc: I can't change who I am.
Hank: Yeah, well, for all your talk about honor, you sure didn't act very honorably towards Disorder By Design.
Merc: Hey, I have the utmost respect for the referees and their authority, or at least as much respect as I can have for a WCF employee. But he went down, and when that happens the ring turns into a battlefield. You can strike first, or you can just sit there like a sheep and hope for the best. All I did was launch a preemptive attack before the other side broke the rules.
Hank: There you go bashing WCF again. What's your deal?
Merc: Look, I'm going to be honest here, which is all I'm able to do. I don't play games. I say what I mean and mean what I say. So I'll tell you that before I was contracted, I'd never seen a WCF match in my life. All I can go by is what I've seen in the tapes and what my employer has told me. And from what I've seen and heard, I don't really like this place. Frankly though, it doesn't really matter what I think. I'm here to do my job, and my feelings don't need to come into it. Having said that, I am representing my employer and I'm sure he wants everyone to know how displeased he is with this place. So just think of me as a messenger.
Hank: You say your feelings don't come into it, which I'll take to mean that all that matters to you is the money. I got the impression that you have fought on America's side before.
Merc: Yes, that would be correct, as well as her allies and, shall we say, private interests.
Hank: Have you ever fought for...the other side?
Merc: Oh, hell no. Listen, I live in this country and I like it here. Besides which, believe it or not, I do have morals, and I am morally opposed to killing civilians on purpose. Never again suggest that I might feel otherwise. It's just that WCF vs. NCW isn't exactly as important as a real war, you know? Now you know I'm glad to fight for NCW, but that's just a bonus for me. It happens that someone from NCW hired me. If someone from WCF had got to me first I would be fighting for them. That doesn't mean just anyone can hire me now. I am in a contract and I break it for no amount from nobody. I have rules. The rules cannot so much as bend. When you don't follow the rules, bad things happen.
:::Merc starts to get that look in his eyes again like he's somewhere else waiting for something to come over the horizon.:::
Hank: Uh...I'm not touching him this time.
Cameraman: Maybe he'll snap out of it on his own.
Hank: Just as long as he doesn't start screaming about...um...what was it?
Cameraman: Kangaroos?
Hank: No, I think it was koa--
Merc: THE KANGAROOS! THEY'RE COMING! DON'T JUST STAND THERE!
Hank: Ow, not so loud.
Merc: What?
Hank: You just yelled about--
Merc: Ah, yeah, that's O.K., no need to say anything else.
Hank: I'm starting to think you didn't stop mercenary work voluntarily.
Merc: You're doubting my credentials? Nobody questions me, least of all some reporter punk!
:::Hank looks taken aback. Merc's demeanor suddenly softens.:::
Merc: I'm sorry, I'm not a diplomat. Still though, I'll prove it to you. I happen to have some inside information.
Hank: Oh?
Merc: Yeah, you know Operation Iraqi Freedom? That's what it's called now, but that wasn't the original name the Pentagon was using internally. They came up with that to appease the press after they decided they wouldn't go for the original. Interested?
Hank: By all means, go ahead.
Merc: The original, internal name for Operation Iraqi Freedom was...Operation Wacky Iraqi Attacky.
:::Long silence.:::
Hank: Oh, a joke. Ha, you almost had me there.
Merc: And you just proved my point. You're a member of the press and you didn't like it. Now I'm done dealing with you, so I'm going to finish up with what I came here to say. I'm going to be out and about next week and I want a camera to be there. I'll give you the details later.
Hank: Why me?
Merc: Who else?
:::Hank is left speechless as Merc starts to walk away. Then he stops, turns and comes back into the camera's view.:::
Merc: For the record, I don't make jokes. Laughing is for homosexuals.
:::Merc walks away again. Hank is now speechless for completely different reasons. Fade out.:::
