Teo del Sol Answers a Question
Mar 6, 2016 13:54:40 GMT -5
Cormack MacNeill, Lilith, and 1 more like this
Post by Teo Blaze on Mar 6, 2016 13:54:40 GMT -5
As we fade in from black, we find ourselves looking upon an extremely unusual scene. The inside of the Gimnasio del Sol is absolutely coated in some kind of sticky paint, as though some lunatic had decided to kill a housefly with a paintball gun.
Equipment is overturned and covered in glitter, while a substance not unlike cotton candy is piled in the corner. And there, in the center of it all, is Teo del Sol, dressed from head to toe in the finest business suit anyone has ever seen, a powder blue number with silver trim, is suspended by one ankle, hanging upside down. The camera slowly zooms to the luchador, who appears to be…snoring?
The camera hangs on his form for a few moments, then crash zooms on his face, the impact jostling him awake.
Teo del Sol: What the…? Oh, hello cameraman. Are we doing this today? Nobody told me we were doing this today…
The camera hangs on the luchador for a few moments, as if waiting for an explanation.
Teo del Sol: Hank Brown is going to hear about this, let me tell you… Come into my gym without warning to film my most personal moments. What if I were naked in here? Is Seth trying to make a profit by breaking into the hidden camera adult film indust-
The camera crash zooms on Teo’s face once more, causing him to comically swing back and forth as he shakes his head from the new impact.
Teo del Sol: Oh yeah… well, if there’s really no other option…What’s that? The Gym? Buddy you wouldn’t believe me if I told you…but you really want to hear what happened?
The camera slowly moves left to right as if shaking its head “no”
Teo del Sol: That’s the spirit! I believe it was a Tuesday….
As Teo speaks, the camera slowly shimmers around the edges to indicate the scene is shifting to a flashback…
Teo now sits at a table, eating happily from a bowl of cereal. He grins and tips the box to the side, realizing it is empty. He shakes it happily and a small package drops from the box- a real licensed toucan Sam spoon! Teo grabs it happily and tucks it into his shirt pocket, then picks his teeth with a toothpick.
Teo del Sol’s voice suddenly comes through the scene in voiceover.
Voiceover Teo: What do you mean not important to the story? Are you doubting my storytelling abilities? I promise you I am only leaving in the most important parts of the story.
The scene shimmers again and fades to Teo sitting at the same table, answering a telephone.
Teo del Sol: Why yes! I would like to change my long distance provider. But can you tell me at great length exactly why I should choose your service..?
The camera smash zooms on the Teo at the table, knocking him unconscious.
Voiceover Teo: Hey! You can’t mess with the flashbacks, that’s not allowed.
A second Teo walks into the scene eating from a cereal bowl. He looks at the unconscious phone Teo, then at the camera, then runs screaming from the room.
Voiceover Teo: Uh…that can’t be good.
Suddenly another Teo walks in wearing only a towel and talking into a rotary phone.
Towel Teo: I see, but what if I want to call multiple pizza places in Kentucky? This is quite a real issue we’re dealing with here.
Voiceover Teo: Oooh! This is where the story gets good!
Towel Teo: Why of course I’d be willing to move to Kentucky. I do love fried Chicken…how is that stereotyping..? It’s in the name of the-
Suddenly the door to the kitchen flies open and confetti showers the entire room. Teo walks forward into the room with Hank Brown, grinning his biggest grin and proudly displaying the People’s title.
Shoot Teo: I tell you Hank Brown, this is a week that I was looking forward to ever since it was announced. Andrew Marx has been nothing but a thorn in my side since he decided to take it upon himself to give me a new concussion.
Towel Teo: Excuse me, I’m on the phone!
Shoot Teo: And Hank, I could not ask for better opponents to face off against this week. These are two guys who need a good kick in the rear end more than even I do.
Towel Teo: And I really need one, Hank.
As the two are talking, El Bunerico, Teo’s pet rabbit, hops into scene and jumps on the counter, playfully grabbing a carrot and munching on it.
Shoot Teo: On the one hand you have Raymond Hatcher. Now Hatcher, this guy is the very definition of hot and cold. Now it’s no secret that the United States is having a bit of a financial whoopsie lately, but if there is one stock in the world that has fallen as fast than Hatcher’s, than we’re looking at economic collapse.
Towel Teo: No kidding. I remember when Hatcher went one on one with Dune for the World Title. That guy looked like a contender, man! He looked like he was on the brink of breaking through to the main event!
Voiceover Teo: But then something went wrong. Suddenly Hatcher couldn’t string together two wins to save his life. After the most non-imperium disaster of a tag team in history by pairing himself with a way-too-eager Adam Young, he proceeded to lose a United States contendership battle. And that’s just recently!
Towel Teo: Do you guys hear that?
Suddenly El Bunerico begins talking with Teo’s voice, although slightly pitched up.
El Bunerico: Raymond Hatcher is not a threat to Teo del Sol right now. Maybe if he were the Hatcher of old, the Hatcher who made the term Dark Horse mean something, he’d be worthy of consideration.
Unconcious Teo: But right now all we have is a cut-rate, two bit imitation. Diet Hatcher, all the calories, none of the substance.
Now Hank Brown begins talking in Teo’s voice.
Hank del Sol: Raymond Hatcher is going to bring as much fire as he can, which means if we’re lucky, we’ll be able to heat up a quarter of a can of beans! He’s more in over his head than Peter Dinklage in your average suburban pool!
Towel Teo: More out of his league than Kyle Kemp on the Yankees.
Shoot Teo: More out of luck than a leprechaun in a blender.
El Bunerico: ….I think you went one too far there.
Unconcious Teo: The point is, Raymond Hatcher is not going to be the reason I lose this week.
Towel Teo: Nor is his partner, Andre Jenson. Now I have had more than my share of interaction with Jenson recently.
Hank del Sol: He’s a cool guy.
El Bunerico: A swell dude.
Shoot Teo: A natural twenty.
Unconcious Teo: But he has been on the losing end of more matches than I care to count at the moment. You know it’s kind of an anomaly looking back that he was able to beat me for the Television Title. I do not want to take away from that victory, Andre Jenson brought one of the greatest performances we’ve ever seen to win that belt.
Hank del Sol: But where is that determination?
El Bunerico: That Heart?
Shoot Teo: That fire!
Towel Teo: Andre Jenson has done everything in his power to prove to the WCF universe that he no longer takes this business as seriously as it deserves to be taken.
El Bunerico: Now I know I’m not one to talk, having helped with his build-a-bear venture and all.
Unconcious Teo: But if I worked at a Build-A-Jenson and what I came up with is my opponent for this week? Not only would I be fired, I would expect to have charges filed.
Shoot Teo: You see, Andre Jenson is a man who is on one of the biggest skids since someone cut the brakes in the Dune Buggy.
Hank del Sol: He lost to Katherine Phoenix, to Kyle Kemp, he will probably lose to Raymond Hatcher if he doesn’t get his act together.
El Bunerico: We’re looking at a guaranteed world champion if he can manage to right that ship.
Towel Teo: But right now? It’s the RMS Jensontanic.
Unconcious Teo: Women and Children first!
El Bunerico: Andre Jenson, I want you to win this week, I really do.
Hank del Sol: But unfortunately for you! You’re going up against the one!
Towel Teo: The only!
Voiceover Teo: The only?
Unconcious Teo: Teo del Sol! And that means you have about as much of a chance of winning as El Bunerico!
El Bunerico: Yeah!
Towel Teo: You guys can do whatever you want, but the fact is that this week Teo del Sol is going to notch another win, and he’s going to make it look easy.
Hank del Sol: Because Teo del Sol is….
Voiceover Teo: One of a kind.
Suddenly Cereal Teo walks back into the room screaming at the top of his lungs. He looks at the assembled collection and begins screaming even louder.
Voiceover Teo: Uh…wait, what was I talking about again?
The scene slowly fades back from the story to the Luchador hanging upside down in the powder blue and silver business suit.
Teo del Sol: So did you get all that?
The camera suddenly crash zooms repeatedly, sending the luchador back and forth like a piñata. He shakes the cobwebs loose and smiles sheepishly.
Teo del Sol: Oh yeah, I guess the story got away from me a bit there. You wanted to know what happened to the Gym, right?
The camera moves up and down as though nodding its head.
Teo del Sol: You’ll have to ask him.
The camera turns around to reveal a second Teo del Sol walking about the gym, cleaning up the mess.
Janitor Teo: What do ya want?
The camera slowly falls backwards and points at the ceiling with a thud as the cameraman faints.
Equipment is overturned and covered in glitter, while a substance not unlike cotton candy is piled in the corner. And there, in the center of it all, is Teo del Sol, dressed from head to toe in the finest business suit anyone has ever seen, a powder blue number with silver trim, is suspended by one ankle, hanging upside down. The camera slowly zooms to the luchador, who appears to be…snoring?
The camera hangs on his form for a few moments, then crash zooms on his face, the impact jostling him awake.
Teo del Sol: What the…? Oh, hello cameraman. Are we doing this today? Nobody told me we were doing this today…
The camera hangs on the luchador for a few moments, as if waiting for an explanation.
Teo del Sol: Hank Brown is going to hear about this, let me tell you… Come into my gym without warning to film my most personal moments. What if I were naked in here? Is Seth trying to make a profit by breaking into the hidden camera adult film indust-
The camera crash zooms on Teo’s face once more, causing him to comically swing back and forth as he shakes his head from the new impact.
Teo del Sol: Oh yeah… well, if there’s really no other option…What’s that? The Gym? Buddy you wouldn’t believe me if I told you…but you really want to hear what happened?
The camera slowly moves left to right as if shaking its head “no”
Teo del Sol: That’s the spirit! I believe it was a Tuesday….
As Teo speaks, the camera slowly shimmers around the edges to indicate the scene is shifting to a flashback…
Teo now sits at a table, eating happily from a bowl of cereal. He grins and tips the box to the side, realizing it is empty. He shakes it happily and a small package drops from the box- a real licensed toucan Sam spoon! Teo grabs it happily and tucks it into his shirt pocket, then picks his teeth with a toothpick.
Teo del Sol’s voice suddenly comes through the scene in voiceover.
Voiceover Teo: What do you mean not important to the story? Are you doubting my storytelling abilities? I promise you I am only leaving in the most important parts of the story.
The scene shimmers again and fades to Teo sitting at the same table, answering a telephone.
Teo del Sol: Why yes! I would like to change my long distance provider. But can you tell me at great length exactly why I should choose your service..?
The camera smash zooms on the Teo at the table, knocking him unconscious.
Voiceover Teo: Hey! You can’t mess with the flashbacks, that’s not allowed.
A second Teo walks into the scene eating from a cereal bowl. He looks at the unconscious phone Teo, then at the camera, then runs screaming from the room.
Voiceover Teo: Uh…that can’t be good.
Suddenly another Teo walks in wearing only a towel and talking into a rotary phone.
Towel Teo: I see, but what if I want to call multiple pizza places in Kentucky? This is quite a real issue we’re dealing with here.
Voiceover Teo: Oooh! This is where the story gets good!
Towel Teo: Why of course I’d be willing to move to Kentucky. I do love fried Chicken…how is that stereotyping..? It’s in the name of the-
Suddenly the door to the kitchen flies open and confetti showers the entire room. Teo walks forward into the room with Hank Brown, grinning his biggest grin and proudly displaying the People’s title.
Shoot Teo: I tell you Hank Brown, this is a week that I was looking forward to ever since it was announced. Andrew Marx has been nothing but a thorn in my side since he decided to take it upon himself to give me a new concussion.
Towel Teo: Excuse me, I’m on the phone!
Shoot Teo: And Hank, I could not ask for better opponents to face off against this week. These are two guys who need a good kick in the rear end more than even I do.
Towel Teo: And I really need one, Hank.
As the two are talking, El Bunerico, Teo’s pet rabbit, hops into scene and jumps on the counter, playfully grabbing a carrot and munching on it.
Shoot Teo: On the one hand you have Raymond Hatcher. Now Hatcher, this guy is the very definition of hot and cold. Now it’s no secret that the United States is having a bit of a financial whoopsie lately, but if there is one stock in the world that has fallen as fast than Hatcher’s, than we’re looking at economic collapse.
Towel Teo: No kidding. I remember when Hatcher went one on one with Dune for the World Title. That guy looked like a contender, man! He looked like he was on the brink of breaking through to the main event!
Voiceover Teo: But then something went wrong. Suddenly Hatcher couldn’t string together two wins to save his life. After the most non-imperium disaster of a tag team in history by pairing himself with a way-too-eager Adam Young, he proceeded to lose a United States contendership battle. And that’s just recently!
Towel Teo: Do you guys hear that?
Suddenly El Bunerico begins talking with Teo’s voice, although slightly pitched up.
El Bunerico: Raymond Hatcher is not a threat to Teo del Sol right now. Maybe if he were the Hatcher of old, the Hatcher who made the term Dark Horse mean something, he’d be worthy of consideration.
Unconcious Teo: But right now all we have is a cut-rate, two bit imitation. Diet Hatcher, all the calories, none of the substance.
Now Hank Brown begins talking in Teo’s voice.
Hank del Sol: Raymond Hatcher is going to bring as much fire as he can, which means if we’re lucky, we’ll be able to heat up a quarter of a can of beans! He’s more in over his head than Peter Dinklage in your average suburban pool!
Towel Teo: More out of his league than Kyle Kemp on the Yankees.
Shoot Teo: More out of luck than a leprechaun in a blender.
El Bunerico: ….I think you went one too far there.
Unconcious Teo: The point is, Raymond Hatcher is not going to be the reason I lose this week.
Towel Teo: Nor is his partner, Andre Jenson. Now I have had more than my share of interaction with Jenson recently.
Hank del Sol: He’s a cool guy.
El Bunerico: A swell dude.
Shoot Teo: A natural twenty.
Unconcious Teo: But he has been on the losing end of more matches than I care to count at the moment. You know it’s kind of an anomaly looking back that he was able to beat me for the Television Title. I do not want to take away from that victory, Andre Jenson brought one of the greatest performances we’ve ever seen to win that belt.
Hank del Sol: But where is that determination?
El Bunerico: That Heart?
Shoot Teo: That fire!
Towel Teo: Andre Jenson has done everything in his power to prove to the WCF universe that he no longer takes this business as seriously as it deserves to be taken.
El Bunerico: Now I know I’m not one to talk, having helped with his build-a-bear venture and all.
Unconcious Teo: But if I worked at a Build-A-Jenson and what I came up with is my opponent for this week? Not only would I be fired, I would expect to have charges filed.
Shoot Teo: You see, Andre Jenson is a man who is on one of the biggest skids since someone cut the brakes in the Dune Buggy.
Hank del Sol: He lost to Katherine Phoenix, to Kyle Kemp, he will probably lose to Raymond Hatcher if he doesn’t get his act together.
El Bunerico: We’re looking at a guaranteed world champion if he can manage to right that ship.
Towel Teo: But right now? It’s the RMS Jensontanic.
Unconcious Teo: Women and Children first!
El Bunerico: Andre Jenson, I want you to win this week, I really do.
Hank del Sol: But unfortunately for you! You’re going up against the one!
Towel Teo: The only!
Voiceover Teo: The only?
Unconcious Teo: Teo del Sol! And that means you have about as much of a chance of winning as El Bunerico!
El Bunerico: Yeah!
Towel Teo: You guys can do whatever you want, but the fact is that this week Teo del Sol is going to notch another win, and he’s going to make it look easy.
Hank del Sol: Because Teo del Sol is….
Voiceover Teo: One of a kind.
Suddenly Cereal Teo walks back into the room screaming at the top of his lungs. He looks at the assembled collection and begins screaming even louder.
Voiceover Teo: Uh…wait, what was I talking about again?
The scene slowly fades back from the story to the Luchador hanging upside down in the powder blue and silver business suit.
Teo del Sol: So did you get all that?
The camera suddenly crash zooms repeatedly, sending the luchador back and forth like a piñata. He shakes the cobwebs loose and smiles sheepishly.
Teo del Sol: Oh yeah, I guess the story got away from me a bit there. You wanted to know what happened to the Gym, right?
The camera moves up and down as though nodding its head.
Teo del Sol: You’ll have to ask him.
The camera turns around to reveal a second Teo del Sol walking about the gym, cleaning up the mess.
Janitor Teo: What do ya want?
The camera slowly falls backwards and points at the ceiling with a thud as the cameraman faints.
