Post by Lawnmower Jones on Mar 14, 2007 14:34:42 GMT -5
The WCF Wrestlers: Volume 3 is an in-depth, fact-based, encyclopedia-type resource guide to all of the wrestlers in the WCF who have had a disastrous childhood.
What are the qualifications for this species?
Wrestlers who qualify as having a bad childhood usually correlate with the clinically Weird/Emo/Depressed species. They are mostly morbid, cutting dark promos filled with hate and rage. These wrestlers tend to wear darker colors, and can be immediately associated with the trench coat mafia. The stereotypical wrestler of this species witnessed a traumatizing experience as a child, usually watching parents suffer or actually killing their parents. (Realistic? We're not the judges.) Some scientists believe these wrestlers were raped sometime in their lives, but it is not certain. Do not be frightened by this species, as they usually tend to be harmless and need to vent through words, not violence. If one begins to use violence as a system of venting, you might want to get a gun. Sodomy IS an option.
Jack of Blades: A Jack of Blades is a current world champion, filled with hate, anger, and love for big words. A Jack of Blades is crazy, and it's derived from his childhood. A Jack of Blades' mother was a hooker, which obviously had an impact on Blades' future. Scientists say a Blades had such a hard time seeing his mother work like that, he developed a stigma towards sex. Seeing as a Blades will not have sex, his semen has become backed up, thus causing him to take his frustration out on other wrestlers. Until someone can match his lackluster sex life, a Jack of Blades may be the most dangerous man in professional wrestling.
Creeping Death: A Creeping Death's personality disorder is caused from his childhood. As a child, a Creeping Death watched his father beat his siblings. It then killed it's father. It moved to Iowa, where everything was forgotten (because who knows about Iowa?) and then its mom died. It then became a hardcore wrestler. And although this may seem like some terrible version of a Wes Craven/Steven Segal movie, it is entirely true. A Creeping Death keeps his vengeance by thinking of his past, which was a terrible childhood. A Creeping Death is already on 2 Volumes, making him the most diverse character in the WCF. But do not be alarmed by a Creeping Death: it cut a promo on 3/12/07 and isn't due for another one until 12/18/09.
Mike Corral: A Mike Corral is a now defunct WCF wrestler. A Corral's father died when he was 13, thus leaving a Corral to learn responsibility. A Corral is supposed to provide his family, but was sent to jail for beating a man who stole the families food. As a 13 year old, he was sent to jail, where he found God and accepted Jesus as his savior. A Corral thinks he is a saint, which could be caused by a bad childhood.
Chris Avery: A Chris Avery is defunct. He grew up in the mean streets of Chicago. He thinks he's a gangster. He isn't. He sucks.
Biohazard: Many believe that a Biohazard is weird. A Biohazard has a tendency to spit green ooze everywhere. The green ooze may be cum and guacamole, but nobody in the WCF knows or cares. To be this fucked up, one can only assume you had a bad child hood filled with rape.
What are the qualifications for this species?
Wrestlers who qualify as having a bad childhood usually correlate with the clinically Weird/Emo/Depressed species. They are mostly morbid, cutting dark promos filled with hate and rage. These wrestlers tend to wear darker colors, and can be immediately associated with the trench coat mafia. The stereotypical wrestler of this species witnessed a traumatizing experience as a child, usually watching parents suffer or actually killing their parents. (Realistic? We're not the judges.) Some scientists believe these wrestlers were raped sometime in their lives, but it is not certain. Do not be frightened by this species, as they usually tend to be harmless and need to vent through words, not violence. If one begins to use violence as a system of venting, you might want to get a gun. Sodomy IS an option.
Jack of Blades: A Jack of Blades is a current world champion, filled with hate, anger, and love for big words. A Jack of Blades is crazy, and it's derived from his childhood. A Jack of Blades' mother was a hooker, which obviously had an impact on Blades' future. Scientists say a Blades had such a hard time seeing his mother work like that, he developed a stigma towards sex. Seeing as a Blades will not have sex, his semen has become backed up, thus causing him to take his frustration out on other wrestlers. Until someone can match his lackluster sex life, a Jack of Blades may be the most dangerous man in professional wrestling.
Creeping Death: A Creeping Death's personality disorder is caused from his childhood. As a child, a Creeping Death watched his father beat his siblings. It then killed it's father. It moved to Iowa, where everything was forgotten (because who knows about Iowa?) and then its mom died. It then became a hardcore wrestler. And although this may seem like some terrible version of a Wes Craven/Steven Segal movie, it is entirely true. A Creeping Death keeps his vengeance by thinking of his past, which was a terrible childhood. A Creeping Death is already on 2 Volumes, making him the most diverse character in the WCF. But do not be alarmed by a Creeping Death: it cut a promo on 3/12/07 and isn't due for another one until 12/18/09.
Mike Corral: A Mike Corral is a now defunct WCF wrestler. A Corral's father died when he was 13, thus leaving a Corral to learn responsibility. A Corral is supposed to provide his family, but was sent to jail for beating a man who stole the families food. As a 13 year old, he was sent to jail, where he found God and accepted Jesus as his savior. A Corral thinks he is a saint, which could be caused by a bad childhood.
Chris Avery: A Chris Avery is defunct. He grew up in the mean streets of Chicago. He thinks he's a gangster. He isn't. He sucks.
Biohazard: Many believe that a Biohazard is weird. A Biohazard has a tendency to spit green ooze everywhere. The green ooze may be cum and guacamole, but nobody in the WCF knows or cares. To be this fucked up, one can only assume you had a bad child hood filled with rape.
