Post by logan on Jan 23, 2007 21:24:34 GMT -5
The scene comes to life as Logan is sitting in his car cranking the ignition. But no matter how many times he turns the key, the car just doesn't seem to start. The stolen porn movies lay in the passenger seat next to him, and out the front door of the comic store an angry fat clerk makes his apperance.
Logan: Come on..
Logan turns the key again, and this time stomps on the gas. The cheap car fires up blowing black smoke from the muffler.
Clerk: You owe me fifty dollars!
Logan backs up at high speed, and slams into a concrete pool. This further ruins the beat up car. The car cuts off with no chance of starting up again as the angry clerk grows closer to Logan's area. Logan grabs the movies, and hops out the car stiff arming the clerk as he runs by him.
Logan: I'm not giving into your scams!
Logan bolts down the parking lot as the clerk tries to run after him but soon stops due to being short of breath.
Clerk: I'm calling the cops!
Logan runs behind a dumpster to escape the sight of the overweight scamming clerk. Logan reaches into his pocket taking out his cell phone.
Logan: Seth! No.. this isn't.. it's Logan! I got some new porn. Yeah man, I'll let you borrow them later. No, I can't right now.. dude I haven't even watched them yet. Nope. I actually just stole them. Yeah, stole them, and that brings me to the real reason of why I'm calling you. Some fat guy is calling the cops on me as we speak, I could run for it, and probably get away. But I'm just not really up for that. I don't really want to risk getting any cramps in my legs since I'm heading into a world title match this week. Last time I trained for a match I pulled something. I know it man, I'm getting old.. you need to find another Logan. Well, I was kind've wondering if you could come pick me up? You can't?! What do you mean you can't? Your cooking a pizza in the oven..? Er, well.. how much time does it have left? You just put it in?! Damn it Seth, I might get arrested if you don't come get me. Eh.. okay, whatever. No, no.. it's fine I understand. It better not be Tombstone though, because if I get arrested over you cooking a cheap Tombstone pizza I'm going be pissed. Okay man, I know.. pizza just isn't as good when you microwave it. Alright Seth, I'll take the hit. Enjoy your pizza budd--
Seth hangs up the phone.
Logan: Can you blame him? I don't think I'd move for anyone if I was cooking a pizza either. I mean, if my house was on fire, and I had ten minutes left to go before my pizza got done.. I might just try to fight it out, and wait for that piz--
Logan gets rudely interrupted as two cops stand five feet away from Logan equipped with hand guns.
Cops: Freeze! Drop it!
Logan: I just paid fifty dollars for these movies, and now you want me to drop them on this filthy parking lot next to his disgusting dumpster?
The cops readjust their arm.
Cops: Now!
Logan sighs, as the heavy clerk finally makes it to the scene of the crime. The clerk tries to speak but is way too out of breath for anyone to actually make anything out.
Clerk: This....
Heavy breathing from the clerk.
Clerk: That's... we we're... Kirk, and Spock... then... he...
Logan: Excuse me officers, do you mind if I say something? Oh, good. This sweaty fat clown has been stalking me for months, because as you know.. I'm sort of a celebrity. Heh, yeah.. it's me.. Logan..
Logan laughs a bit, as the cops simply stare at him.
Logan: Like I said, this guy has been prank calling me, and sending me nude pictures of himself. He just actually paid ME fifty dollars to take these movies, and sell them to little kids on the street. If anyone here is guilty of crime, it's him. But as you know, I am Logan, and this would kind of look bad in the paper.. plus I'm innocent..
Cop: Logan..?
Logan: Yup, Logan.
Logan slips the movies in his back pocket, and slaps his hands together.
Logan: Well, I guess that about clears everything up. If you don't mind, I must be on my way. I really hope you find some kind've help for this clerk, because trust me.. he's a threat to society. While your going over some kind've punishment for him, I hope you don't mind me throwing out a few ideas.. but I suggest a weight loss punishment. Maybe you could have him chained in a room with twinkies tied to strings hanging above him with it only being an inch out of his reach. I know that sounds bad, but hey.. that's what he deserves.
Logan smiles, and goes to leave but the cops aim the guns back at Logan.
Cop: Your not going anywhere, and besides.. I've never even heard of your name before.
Logan sighs, as his porn tapes become confiscated, and he is lead away in hand cuffs to the back of a police car. The scene fades out as Logan drives away in the cop car with the fat clerk smiling on.
Logan: Come on..
Logan turns the key again, and this time stomps on the gas. The cheap car fires up blowing black smoke from the muffler.
Clerk: You owe me fifty dollars!
Logan backs up at high speed, and slams into a concrete pool. This further ruins the beat up car. The car cuts off with no chance of starting up again as the angry clerk grows closer to Logan's area. Logan grabs the movies, and hops out the car stiff arming the clerk as he runs by him.
Logan: I'm not giving into your scams!
Logan bolts down the parking lot as the clerk tries to run after him but soon stops due to being short of breath.
Clerk: I'm calling the cops!
Logan runs behind a dumpster to escape the sight of the overweight scamming clerk. Logan reaches into his pocket taking out his cell phone.
Logan: Seth! No.. this isn't.. it's Logan! I got some new porn. Yeah man, I'll let you borrow them later. No, I can't right now.. dude I haven't even watched them yet. Nope. I actually just stole them. Yeah, stole them, and that brings me to the real reason of why I'm calling you. Some fat guy is calling the cops on me as we speak, I could run for it, and probably get away. But I'm just not really up for that. I don't really want to risk getting any cramps in my legs since I'm heading into a world title match this week. Last time I trained for a match I pulled something. I know it man, I'm getting old.. you need to find another Logan. Well, I was kind've wondering if you could come pick me up? You can't?! What do you mean you can't? Your cooking a pizza in the oven..? Er, well.. how much time does it have left? You just put it in?! Damn it Seth, I might get arrested if you don't come get me. Eh.. okay, whatever. No, no.. it's fine I understand. It better not be Tombstone though, because if I get arrested over you cooking a cheap Tombstone pizza I'm going be pissed. Okay man, I know.. pizza just isn't as good when you microwave it. Alright Seth, I'll take the hit. Enjoy your pizza budd--
Seth hangs up the phone.
Logan: Can you blame him? I don't think I'd move for anyone if I was cooking a pizza either. I mean, if my house was on fire, and I had ten minutes left to go before my pizza got done.. I might just try to fight it out, and wait for that piz--
Logan gets rudely interrupted as two cops stand five feet away from Logan equipped with hand guns.
Cops: Freeze! Drop it!
Logan: I just paid fifty dollars for these movies, and now you want me to drop them on this filthy parking lot next to his disgusting dumpster?
The cops readjust their arm.
Cops: Now!
Logan sighs, as the heavy clerk finally makes it to the scene of the crime. The clerk tries to speak but is way too out of breath for anyone to actually make anything out.
Clerk: This....
Heavy breathing from the clerk.
Clerk: That's... we we're... Kirk, and Spock... then... he...
Logan: Excuse me officers, do you mind if I say something? Oh, good. This sweaty fat clown has been stalking me for months, because as you know.. I'm sort of a celebrity. Heh, yeah.. it's me.. Logan..
Logan laughs a bit, as the cops simply stare at him.
Logan: Like I said, this guy has been prank calling me, and sending me nude pictures of himself. He just actually paid ME fifty dollars to take these movies, and sell them to little kids on the street. If anyone here is guilty of crime, it's him. But as you know, I am Logan, and this would kind of look bad in the paper.. plus I'm innocent..
Cop: Logan..?
Logan: Yup, Logan.
Logan slips the movies in his back pocket, and slaps his hands together.
Logan: Well, I guess that about clears everything up. If you don't mind, I must be on my way. I really hope you find some kind've help for this clerk, because trust me.. he's a threat to society. While your going over some kind've punishment for him, I hope you don't mind me throwing out a few ideas.. but I suggest a weight loss punishment. Maybe you could have him chained in a room with twinkies tied to strings hanging above him with it only being an inch out of his reach. I know that sounds bad, but hey.. that's what he deserves.
Logan smiles, and goes to leave but the cops aim the guns back at Logan.
Cop: Your not going anywhere, and besides.. I've never even heard of your name before.
Logan sighs, as his porn tapes become confiscated, and he is lead away in hand cuffs to the back of a police car. The scene fades out as Logan drives away in the cop car with the fat clerk smiling on.
