Post by Danny Vice on Sept 22, 2006 19:31:26 GMT -5
The scene opens up in the Vice family wherehouse. The camera’s current shot captures a false set propped up in one of the empty rooms within the makeshift home. One can tell it is not an actual room because along the edges of the camera shot, the familiar wood paneling of the Vice wherehouse is clearly visible. The set contains a simple, old, brown couch with a tall map beside it. The backdrop is a simple large piece of cardboard painted light blue. The viewer can only assume that the set is being used to recreate the likeness of a reality television confessional room by its simple set-up and traditionally boring appearance.
In comes Danny “The Vagrant” Vice, as he grabs a seat on the couch in front of the camera. He is dressed entirely in character, far different from his typical WCF appearances. He is wearing an Abercrombie & Fitch red sleeveless shirt, exposing his tattooed and muscular arms, rather than his usual black leather trenchcoat. Instead of his wrestling tights or black pants, Vice is dressed in fashion jeans. The exact brand is unknown since the camera never has the opportunity to see the feminine brand on the back pocket. Vice also has his typical blonde and black mohawk covered by a backwards trucker cap, familiar of the Ashton Kutcher days on MTV, to complete his costume.
Janie (off-camera): Ok Danny, now remember, I’m not going to ask you any questions. You have to kind of phrase back in your response what an imaginary question would be?
Danny: Why won’t you ask any questions?
Because have you ever heard a question being posed on The Real World, or Big Brother, or Survior, or any of those other reality shows?
No, The Vagrant studies film and trains, he doesn’t waste his time watching no-talent hacks attempt to become famous without a natural gift.
Well, I’d ask you a question except we’re broke again and don’t have a computer to do any fancy editing on. So just read the cue cards we worked on earlier, and act like a complete and total jackass like all those other guys on those shows. Alright?
Danny nods his head in acceptance of his sister’s wishes. She signals him to begin…
(in character) Wow, what a wild day in the WCF. There’s no way anyone could imagine so much drama. Who’d have ever thought people would get so hung up over nothing!?!? This is like crazier than when Steven guy from Real World slapped that one bitch in the face for calling him gay!
Danny adjusts in his seat like a 12 year-old boy on a heavy dose of Ritalin.
First, Dake Ken goes all el pollo loco to that Dave Martin guy about backstage politics in the WCF. This guy’s like, in one of the biggest stables in the whole fed, backed by two of the biggest badasses in the company, and the #1 contender for the Hardcore title, but he says there’s politics?!?! (Using 15 year old girl’s voice…) Like, oh my god, I’m not allowed to wrestle Logan. I hafta, like, politician style to get any respect. Like, Chino sucks. (back to regular voice…) Cry a freakin’ river! You tapped out last week in the Vicelock, baby. Don’t get those panties all in a bunch and take care of some BIZ-NASS on Sunday.
Danny now starts jumping up and down on the couch like Tom Cruise on the Wicked Witch of the East’s television broadcast. Finally seated again, he continues his ramblings, this time using a voice much like when a 10 year old does a bad impersonation of a scary monster.
My name is Chino. I keep track of my wins and losses. No one respects my stable that I don’t even pronounce or spell correctly when I discuss it. Tag champ this. Drink beer that. Dick suck this. Jerk off that. RAWRRRR!
Danny slaps the top of his head multiple times with each hand in rapid succession.
Come on! That’s just ridiculous! You’re the number one contender for the WORLD TITLE! And you act as if you just got stuck on a motherfuckin’ plane full of motherfuckin’ snakes! Get a grip, sack up, and do something about it at School of Pain, don’t give us this sap story about how Creeping Death deepthroats Dake Ken on Wednesday nights at the Boom Boom Room and you're jealous about it!
Danny darts off camera right, footsteps of a person running full speed around the wooden floored room can be heard, before he comes leaping back onto the couch, camera left.
As for Skyler. Let’s get it on baby! HOO-RAH! All that macho shit (mocks a salute). Let’s make sure you get your daughter on camera a few more times this week to stir up some empathy from the WCF’s female fans. You best not be going soft now! Those puppy-eyed promises to your baby girl are inspiring The Vagrant even more to drop you on your head from the top of that ladder, and take home the contract for the Hardcore Title match. Shit! This has been the most exciting week of WCF yet! The Vagrant just can’t wait for Paris Hilton and that Kristin bitch from Laguna Beach to show up so everyone can just have a big old high school reunion.
With that, Danny chucks his hat at the camera, and walks off as the camera fades out…
In comes Danny “The Vagrant” Vice, as he grabs a seat on the couch in front of the camera. He is dressed entirely in character, far different from his typical WCF appearances. He is wearing an Abercrombie & Fitch red sleeveless shirt, exposing his tattooed and muscular arms, rather than his usual black leather trenchcoat. Instead of his wrestling tights or black pants, Vice is dressed in fashion jeans. The exact brand is unknown since the camera never has the opportunity to see the feminine brand on the back pocket. Vice also has his typical blonde and black mohawk covered by a backwards trucker cap, familiar of the Ashton Kutcher days on MTV, to complete his costume.
Janie (off-camera): Ok Danny, now remember, I’m not going to ask you any questions. You have to kind of phrase back in your response what an imaginary question would be?
Danny: Why won’t you ask any questions?
Because have you ever heard a question being posed on The Real World, or Big Brother, or Survior, or any of those other reality shows?
No, The Vagrant studies film and trains, he doesn’t waste his time watching no-talent hacks attempt to become famous without a natural gift.
Well, I’d ask you a question except we’re broke again and don’t have a computer to do any fancy editing on. So just read the cue cards we worked on earlier, and act like a complete and total jackass like all those other guys on those shows. Alright?
Danny nods his head in acceptance of his sister’s wishes. She signals him to begin…
(in character) Wow, what a wild day in the WCF. There’s no way anyone could imagine so much drama. Who’d have ever thought people would get so hung up over nothing!?!? This is like crazier than when Steven guy from Real World slapped that one bitch in the face for calling him gay!
Danny adjusts in his seat like a 12 year-old boy on a heavy dose of Ritalin.
First, Dake Ken goes all el pollo loco to that Dave Martin guy about backstage politics in the WCF. This guy’s like, in one of the biggest stables in the whole fed, backed by two of the biggest badasses in the company, and the #1 contender for the Hardcore title, but he says there’s politics?!?! (Using 15 year old girl’s voice…) Like, oh my god, I’m not allowed to wrestle Logan. I hafta, like, politician style to get any respect. Like, Chino sucks. (back to regular voice…) Cry a freakin’ river! You tapped out last week in the Vicelock, baby. Don’t get those panties all in a bunch and take care of some BIZ-NASS on Sunday.
Danny now starts jumping up and down on the couch like Tom Cruise on the Wicked Witch of the East’s television broadcast. Finally seated again, he continues his ramblings, this time using a voice much like when a 10 year old does a bad impersonation of a scary monster.
My name is Chino. I keep track of my wins and losses. No one respects my stable that I don’t even pronounce or spell correctly when I discuss it. Tag champ this. Drink beer that. Dick suck this. Jerk off that. RAWRRRR!
Danny slaps the top of his head multiple times with each hand in rapid succession.
Come on! That’s just ridiculous! You’re the number one contender for the WORLD TITLE! And you act as if you just got stuck on a motherfuckin’ plane full of motherfuckin’ snakes! Get a grip, sack up, and do something about it at School of Pain, don’t give us this sap story about how Creeping Death deepthroats Dake Ken on Wednesday nights at the Boom Boom Room and you're jealous about it!
Danny darts off camera right, footsteps of a person running full speed around the wooden floored room can be heard, before he comes leaping back onto the couch, camera left.
As for Skyler. Let’s get it on baby! HOO-RAH! All that macho shit (mocks a salute). Let’s make sure you get your daughter on camera a few more times this week to stir up some empathy from the WCF’s female fans. You best not be going soft now! Those puppy-eyed promises to your baby girl are inspiring The Vagrant even more to drop you on your head from the top of that ladder, and take home the contract for the Hardcore Title match. Shit! This has been the most exciting week of WCF yet! The Vagrant just can’t wait for Paris Hilton and that Kristin bitch from Laguna Beach to show up so everyone can just have a big old high school reunion.
With that, Danny chucks his hat at the camera, and walks off as the camera fades out…
