Post by Deleted on Feb 23, 2016 8:10:51 GMT -5
@riddikuler
Hello, loyal citizens and my intelligent fans. Due to the sudden exponential increase in everbody's obsession with me and lust for my attention, I have decided it is best for me to create a new account through which anyone who wishes to get in touch with me may inform my secretary of their intentions. This will be a simple tool to use even for the least intelligent members of the roster. Simply follow these steps in the correct order and my secretary will relay your information to me.
1. Fill out your name, gender, race, place of birth, political alignment, and contact information
2. Add a subject line
3. Summarize what the main body of your message or request is
Then simply post it to my secretary's feed. Keep in mind that all accounts who post this form to my secretary's feed will be thoroughly investigated by said secretary before anything comes to me. There are a number of things that will not make it through to me for various reasons because I am a busy man with many important things to do. The list of things which will result in a message not being transferred to me can be found below.
1. If anyone puts anything except male or female for gender.
2. If the applicant is female but has written as their intention to do anything but send me nude pictures, allow me to rail them into next month, or bring me refreshments.
3. If the applicant is from Japan.
4. If the applicant is seeking to contest any of my previous announcements or banned contraband.
5. If the applicant is black.
6. If the applicant is anything but white.
7. If the applicant is a democrat.
8. If the applicant brings up any shit music in their message.
9. If the applicant posts just a gif or shit meme
10. If the applicant has posted to my secretary's wall and followed all the rules.
Thank you for your cooperation.
Sincerely,
Your International Champion
Hello, loyal citizens and my intelligent fans. Due to the sudden exponential increase in everbody's obsession with me and lust for my attention, I have decided it is best for me to create a new account through which anyone who wishes to get in touch with me may inform my secretary of their intentions. This will be a simple tool to use even for the least intelligent members of the roster. Simply follow these steps in the correct order and my secretary will relay your information to me.
1. Fill out your name, gender, race, place of birth, political alignment, and contact information
2. Add a subject line
3. Summarize what the main body of your message or request is
Then simply post it to my secretary's feed. Keep in mind that all accounts who post this form to my secretary's feed will be thoroughly investigated by said secretary before anything comes to me. There are a number of things that will not make it through to me for various reasons because I am a busy man with many important things to do. The list of things which will result in a message not being transferred to me can be found below.
1. If anyone puts anything except male or female for gender.
2. If the applicant is female but has written as their intention to do anything but send me nude pictures, allow me to rail them into next month, or bring me refreshments.
3. If the applicant is from Japan.
4. If the applicant is seeking to contest any of my previous announcements or banned contraband.
5. If the applicant is black.
6. If the applicant is anything but white.
7. If the applicant is a democrat.
8. If the applicant brings up any shit music in their message.
9. If the applicant posts just a gif or shit meme
10. If the applicant has posted to my secretary's wall and followed all the rules.
Thank you for your cooperation.
Sincerely,
Your International Champion
