The Book of eXtreme: Recovery

[Mikey eXtreme]

Recovery

A week off? Just what the doctor ordered. Mikey had a hard fought battle at Fifteen with one of his most fiercest opponents yet, Bernard Core, in one of his most bloody battles in the WCF. The following week? A tag match where he found himself teaming up with Chance Von Crank to take on Tiffany White and some jobber Mikey couldn’t quite remember. It was Vengeance.

The following week, Mikey was off to do what he pleased. On to Texas, to get ready for the next slam? Mikey thought about going back home to Brooklyn for the week to relax, but he figured Texas might serve him well.

But, three weeks in a row in that hell hole? Mikey would have to deal with it. Plus, Vidalia was looking better and better since she had joined him in the ranks of the Darkness. But those thoughts would have to be put on hold, Mikey had a match to think about.

The time came, and the Slam card went up.

Bernard Core, Vengeance, and Benjamin Atreyu vs Mikey eXtreme, Tiffany White, and Teo Del Sol vs Chance von Crank, Zombie McMorris, and Dustin Beaver.

Are you serious?

If Mikey wasn’t mad, the look on his face painted the wrong picture. There were some positives in this match, though. Bernard Core, Mikey’s latest nemesis was in the match, someone that Mikey could inflict damage on once again. The other positive? Mikey could get a chance to take Vengeance out before their match at Timebomb.

A mission Mikey was glad to take on.

But, still, the reigning, defending, United States Champion of Mikey’s America thought he should be in bigger and more prolific matches. He thought he should be headlining each and every WCF event. In his world. he was the big attraction. He was all that mattered, but apparently no one else seen it that way. Everyone else in the WCF was completely blind.

Mikey would set out to change this.

The Diner

Mikey eXtreme: And I’ll take your best chocolate egg cream.

The waitress finished writing down Mikey, Vidalia, and Freakshow’s orders. She walked away to place them as Mikey began to speak.

Mikey eXtreme: This match doesn’t even make sense to me. First of all, why the hell am I teaming with Tiffany White and Teo Del Sol? Is this the “Team Mikey up with people he’s beat” gameplan?

Mikey doesn’t wait for an answer.

Mikey eXtreme: And on top of that, they book me against Zombie McMorris? Doesn’t the WCF know that we’re the greatest tag team in American wrestling history? Not to mention the fact that we’re undefeated?

Maybe I’ll just throw the script out the window and Dat Hawt American Darkness will walk out victorious anyway.

Vidalia: Can you do that?

Mikey eXtreme: Probably not, I don’t think the WCF works that way, but where there’s a will.. there’s a way. Or so I’ve heard.

The waitress comes back with their drinks. She places two cokes infront of Vidalia and Freakshow and places a chocolate egg cream in front of Mikey.

Waitress: Let me know if you need anything, your food will be out shortly.

Mikey takes a sip of the egg cream and instantly spits it out all over the table.

Mikey eXtreme: What the fuck is this?

Waitress: It’s an egg cream, is it not to your liking, sir?

Mikey eXtreme: This tastes like Hershey’s syrup.

Waitress: Yes, sir, that’s the syrup that we use here.

The waitress shoots Mikey a smile trying to defuse the situation.

Mikey eXtreme: Everybody know that you need Fox’s U-Bet syrup to make an egg cream, how dare you insult me and serve me this.. this.. this abomination. You expect me to pay for this shit?

Waitress: I’m sorry sir, I can take it off the bill for you. Would you like a replacement drink?

Mikey eXtreme: A replacement drink?! You can’t even serve me a proper egg cream and you expect me to trust you to make me a second drink? How do you run a diner and decide to put an egg cream on the menu, but yet, you don’t carry FOX’S U-BET SYRUP?

Waitress: I’m sorry, I’m going to go check on your burgers. I’ll be right with you.

The waitress walks away as Mikey is fuming at the table. Little time passes by the time she returns with their burgers. She places them on the table and then places a coke in front of Mikey.

Waitress: Here’s a soda on the house! Sorry that our egg cream wasn’t to your liking, sir.

Mikey looks violently towards the waitress and proceeds to throw the cup of coke flying across the diner.

Mikey eXtreme: Mikey eXtreme doesn’t take pity drinks from some two bit slut masquerading as a waitress.

The waitress is appalled, and storms away with tears in her eyes.

Vidalia: Do you have to cause a scene everywhere we go?

Mikey laughs.

Mikey eXtreme: A scene? How is it my fault that they can’t figure out the proper way to make a god damn egg cream? It’s not that hard. It really isn’t. But if you’re going to half ass it, why even do it in the first place?

A short stout blocky man approaches the table. His nametag reads “Paul. Manager.”

Paul: Excuse me, sir, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.

Mikey eXtreme: You’re kicking me out for bad service?

Paul: From what I’ve heard, you deserve all the bad service in the world for the way you’ve treated Emily.

Mikey eXtreme: Emily? That nitwit who brought me this disgusting cup of shit? She’s lucky I didn’t kick her teeth down her throat for this.

Paul: Is that a threat? Why don’t you pick on someone your own size, tough guy.

Mikey laughs until the man slaps him across the face. Vidalia laughs uncontrollably at this and Mikey and Freakshow stand up. Upon seeing how big Freakshow is and how mad Mikey is, the man begins to second guess his actions.

Paul: Why don’t you three get out of here and never come back.

Mikey doesn’t take his eyes off of the man.

Mikey eXtreme: Someone my own size? You know, I didn’t get in any training today, and I think I’ve found the perfect replacement.

Mikey grabs the man by the back of the neck and slams him onto the table face first, hitting an eXplosion right in the middle of the diner. A crowd begins to circle the action as Mikey begins to walk out of the diner. Freakshow follows him as Vidalia puts some money on the table.

Vidalia: This should cover the burgers.

She trails behind Mikey and Freakshow as they make their way to the van.

The River Runs Red

Mikey is joined by none other than Hank Brown, the WCF camera crew film them as Hank tries to get Mikey’s mindset for this week’s slam.

hank brown: What are your thoughts on Bernard Core?

Mikey eXtreme: That’s your first question, Hank? My thoughts on Bernard Core? Were you asleep for the last month or so? Did you not see our match at Fifteen? Did you not see me destroy this bum for the last month?

My thoughts on Core? He does not belong in Mikey’s America. He tried his best, he tried his hardest, but at the end of the day where did it get him? He found himself asleep at the hands of the Darkness. He couldn’t handle being in the ring with a king, Hank. He couldn’t dethrone me but that’s not hard to believe because nobody will EVER dethrone me, Nobody will ever take this belt from around my waist.

hank brown: What about Vengeance?

Mikey eXtreme: Don’t make me laugh, Hank.

hank brown: He does hold a victory over you, fairly recently, too.

Mikey eXtreme: A fluke, Hank. He caught me at a bad time. I had a lot on my mind. I was focused on Bernard Core at the time and didn’t put myself into that match. He beat a shell of myself.

Bu I got the last laugh last week when MY team was victorious.

hank brown: Yes, but, you still did not defeat Vengeance.

Mikey eXtreme: Technically, no. But it’s just a matter of time. Just a week away before Timebomb arrives and I show the world once again why I am the KING of Darkness and just why I run the greatest nation in the world, Mikey’s America.

You see, Hank, Vengeance thinks he has what it takes to be champion. He thinks he has what it takes to knock me down a peg, but that’s where he’s wrong. There is nobody that has that ability. It happened once before, Hank, but the deck was stacked against me and we had the worst referee on the planet.

It won’t happen that way against Vengeance. I can guarantee you that, Hank. I’ll walk out with another victory, another W in the book of eXtreme.

hank brown: I think we’re all looking forward to this match, but I must get your views on Benjamin Atreyu?

Mikey eXtreme: Who?

hank brown: Benjamin Atreyu, he’s a former Tag Team champion and he held your United States championship in the past.

Mikey eXtreme: The United States championship before I held it is irrelevant, Hank. The dark ages don’t need to be talked about, it’s the golden age that we must talk about. The Golden Age of eXtreme.

Benjamin Atreyu is some schmuck that doesn’t belong in that ring with me, but come Sunday, Mikey eXtreme will bring the darkness to Atreyu. His life will never be the same again.

hank brown: Also in this match is Chance Von Cr--

Mikey eXtreme: He’s jealous of me, Hank. Did you see my last match? He couldn’t take that I was the highlight. He couldn’t take that it was my match and he just happened to be on the sidelines. That he was a footnote in my wrestling world.

hank brown: But, it was Chance that picked up the victory for your team.

Mikey eXtreme: A victory that he owes to me.

hank brown: Care to explain?

Mikey eXtreme: I could sense Chance’s jealousy,and I could tell that if he didn’t get a win in that match his career would most likely falter. So, I refused to take a tag from him towards the end of the match. You see, I had done enough damage in that match for our team to win and thus I felt that he had enough in him to pick up the victory.

He wanted to argue though.

He couldn’t deal with the fact that I was that good. He was mad that I outshined him in the match and the whole world could see that I was handing him a victory. But this week? There will be no handing of a victory to Chance. I feel bad that Z-Mac has to team with this kid but at least he will still have a capable partner that can carry him for another week.

hank brown: You mention Zombie McMorris with a high regard, do you think that the WCF should have teamed you up in this match?

Mikey eXtreme: The WCF isn’t that smart, Hank, look at their track record. They keep me hidden in these cluster fucks, they hide the US title deep down in the bottom of the card where no one cares. Did you see Fifteen, Hank? The US title match was the only match that mattered, and yet it was so far down the card that it lost the luster that it should of had.

Plus, they hired you. So, that says a lot about the WCF’s abilities to do the right things.

hank brown: Hey, come on! Finally, let’s get your opinion on the former television champion, Dustin Beaver.

Mikey eXtreme: I’ve had one match with Dustin before. My team picked up the victory. Luckily for him, we didn’t take the belt along with the win. But what you said describes him perfectly, he’s a former champ. He couldn’t hold on to his belt because he’s just not that good. He’s not Mikey eXtreme.

Of the current champions in the WCF I am the third longest reigning, and there’s a reason for that, Hank. I am just that good. Beaver? Not in the picture. The almighty #BeachKrew? I have yet to lose a match involving anyone from their team. The Dark Riders live on through me and we cannot and will not be bested by any team that ever steps foot in the WCF.

hank brown: This week, you are teamed with Tiffany White and Teo Del Sol, do you think you guys will have the chemistry needed to win this match?

Mikey eXtreme: Chemistry? My team has the only thing it needs to win this match. It has me. It has the King of Darkness, the United States champion. It has the most eXtreme wrestler the WCF has EVER seen, Hank. Do you think my team needs chemistry?

hank brown: Well, you did compete against both of your partners in the last few months. Do you think that will affect the match at all?

Mikey eXtreme: No, they can be jealous of me the entire match, but, as long as they don’t tag me out. We have this match in the bag. We are unbeatable as long as I compete in this match, because I am just that damn good.

You sit back and look at this match, Hank, and you can clearly see that it’s set up for me to win. It’s set up to showcase the talents that I have. Do you really expect these people to beat me?

Come on, Hank. BENJAMIN ATREYU? That guy couldn’t even lace my boots. DUSTIN BEAVER?! That guy is a hack. I’m the greatest, Hank. At Slam? I’ll show you how it’s done.

Mikey begins to walk away as his phone rings. Hank can be seen talking to the camera crew as Mikey answers the phone.

Mikey eXtreme: Hello?

Click.

There is nobody on the line. Mikey looks annoyed as the scene fades.

Hello from the other side

Mikey is sitting in a chair in his hotel room. He has his head in his hands, a bottle of jack sits on the floor in front of him.

Mikey eXtreme: I don’t know, Doc.

His head cocks to the left,

Doc: You better get your head on straight, Michael.

To the right.

Mikey eXtreme: Don’t call me that, James.

The left.

Doc: I’ll call you whatever I damn well please, don’t take that tone with me, son.

Mikey eXtreme: I’ll get this done. I will walk out with the victory.

The phone rings. The line is empty. Mikey puts the phone down.

Doc: And who keeps calling you?

Mikey shrugs.

Doc: I’m talking to you, I deserve an answer.

Mikey eXtreme: I don’t fucking know, Doc.

Doc: Someone is making a joke out of you.

Mikey eXtreme: You think I don’t know that? You think this is blowing over my head? I’m not a fucking idiot, Doc. I know what’s going on but it’s not going to end well for whoever thinks they’re being funny.

The phone rings. Silence. Mikey slams it down.

Doc: Are you sure?

Mikey makes an evil look.

Mikey eXtreme: What do you want, Doc? I have a match to focus on. I don’t need your fucking shit right now.

Doc: Don’t talk to me like that, Michael. You will show me respect, I deserve it for the way I raised you.

Mikey eXtreme: The way you raised me? You were a horrible fucking father. If you didn’t have the money you had, if you couldn’t get me the things I wanted.. would I have stayed around? No way.

Mikey quickly jerks his head to the left.

Doc: Open your mouth like that again and I’ll beat the ever living shit out of you, Michael. Do you think you were a pleasure to raise? You think the way you acted didn’t play a role in the things I did?

The phone rings. Doc answers it before Mikey has a chance.

Doc: Listen here, you better stop fucking around with me. You better stop calling this number and hanging up or so help me god, I will hang you from a tree from your balls. You think it’s funny, calling someone and hanging up constantly? Why don’t you come to this hotel and be a man?

Click.

Doc slams the phone down.

Doc: That’s how it’s done,

Mikey’s phone lights up. His eyes peer down to see a text message from the number that has been calling him.

Keep your eyes open for your mail. We’ll talk soon.

Mikey looks puzzled.

Doc: What’s it say?

Mikey lifts the phone to his own face.

Doc: What the fuck does this even mean?

Mikey eXtreme: I don’t know. I don’t even care. I have bigger things to think about. I have to carry Teo Del Sol and Tiffany White to victory.

Doc: That fucking poker player? They can’t give you an actual partner in this match?

Mikey laughs.

Mikey eXtreme: It doesn’t matter, Doc. I got this. You’ll see. Freakshow, Vidalia, and I will all walk out there and we will walk out with me on top. We will walk out victorious once again, but this time? We will send a message to Vengeance. We will send a message to Bernard Core.

Vengeance will realize that last match was a fluke, he will realize that his chances of repeating that victory.. 0%. This match is a message to Vengeance that he has stepped into my ring and I’m not ready to give it up just yet. I’m not ready for my UNITED STATES championship to be taken from me.

Vengeance, you’re not the man you think you are. You’re not the competitor that you think. The highlight of your career was beating me on Slam a few weeks back, but in all actuality, you’re nothing but a footnote in my career, a small mistake that will be erased once Timebomb rolls around.

But, you know that. It eats you up inside, but you know it. You’re not on my level and you never will be. You’ll always come up just a bit short from here on out. You got lucky once, but your luck has run out, Vengeance. Mark my words.

This match will also be used to let Bernard Core know that just because I damn near killed him at Fifteen, that AMERICA is mine. I am the rightful king, the supreme leader of the United States of Mikey.. this is MY America and he will never take it from me, just as he could never take this UNITED STATES championship from around my waist.. just as Vengeance will NEVER take this belt from around my waist.

Just like the rest of the locker room.. the rest of these dimwitted morons in this federation will NEVER take my belt.

I am America and I am the greatest.

God bless America, and let the Darkness cover all.

Mikey turns from the camera as the scene fades.

The Great Famine

Freakshow, Mikey, and Vidalia sat in their van. They were on line at the Wendy’s drive thru. Baconators were on their minds, they were starving and there was a Wendy’s next to their hotel. Why not? Mikey thought to himself.

They finally got to the window and once the Freakshow turned to the lady holding the food, a loud scream could be heard. Everyone in earshot jumped about three feet.

Wendy: What the fuck is wrong with you! You scared me half to death!

Freakshow looked at the lady.

Wendy: Take that mask off next time you roll up to the drive thru, what the hell! You think that’s funny? Shawn, come over here and look at this guy!

She begins yelling for a coworker to come over and look at Freakshow who is growing rather angry over how this woman is treating him.

Shawn: Holy shit! Freakshow!

Freakshow cocks his head.

Shawn: Is that Mikey eXtreme in the back?! Holy shit! I’m a huge fan! I couldn’t believe you beat Bernard Core, but I’m pulling for you this week on Slam!

Mikey eXtreme: That’s nice kid, you gonna keep your bitch in line over there or what?

Mikey chuckles as the girl’s eyebrows raise.

Wendy: What did you just say? I ain’t no bitch.

Shawn: Wendy, calm down. These are celebrities.

Wendy: I don’t care who they are, they need to show me some respect.

Mikey is laughing uncontrollably.

Mikey eXtreme: You’re name.. you’re name is actually… Wendy? Are you serious?

They all start laughing.

Shawn: All of my friends think you’re going to destroy this match on Slam. You’re the best wrestler the WCF has ever had, we’re stoked we got tickets and everything.

Mikey eXtreme: That’s nice. Can we get our food now.. or is that something you guys don’t do down here? OH, and let me tell you.. if I find mustard on this fucking burger I will personally come inside that window and slit your fucking throat. YOU DON’T PUT MUSTARD ON A FUCKING HAMBURGER.

Vidalia: Calm down, Mikey, save it for Slam!

Shawn: He doesn’t need to save it, he’ll wipe the floor with those jobbers, believe me! Though, I do like Dustin Beaver quite a bit.

Mikey eXtreme: Dustin Beaver? Get the fuck out of here. The only other competitor in this match that matters at all is Z-Mac. Fuck, the rest of the match is just full of boring. The WCF had to inject Z-Mac and myself so that people didn’t fall asleep during this match.

Shawn: ALright, I gotta get back to work. It was awesome talking to you.

Mikey eXtreme: Yeah whatever, get my god damn food.

Wendy finally returns to the window and hands a bag over to Freakshow. Freakshow quickly grabs it and drives off.

Mikey eXtreme: Just like I did to Bernard Core.. I will do to the rest of these fools. They will all be sacrificed in a big way to the Darkness. They will all be victims on my Dark American tour, the King of America will be feared. He will dominate like he always does and he WILL have his arms raised.

They pull up to the hotel and Mikey and Vidalia step out of the van holding the bag of food. Freakshow speeds off.

Vidalia: Where’s he off to?

Mikey eXtreme: He’s hungry.

Vidalia: We have the food.

Mikey eXtreme: For something better than food, I assure you.

She looks at him with confusion until she realizes what he means. Mikey laughs when he sees the lightbulb appear over her head.

Mikey eXtreme: He’ll have his fun now, and I’ll have my fun this Sunday on Slam.

Vidalia: Or.. you could have your fun now?

A sadistic grin comes across Mikey’s face. As the scene begins to fade.