Post by Dustin Beaver on Feb 21, 2016 3:52:18 GMT -5
Monday February 15th, Unknown Time
The scene opens with Dustin Beaver hitting the ‘Bass Drop’ on what appears to be an undead human, smashing him into a ring bell. After completing the maneuver, Beavs looks around and recognizes a few other WSeaF wrestlers including: Teo Del Sol, CJ Phoenix, Grayson Pierce and that asshole that stole his SeaV title, Stuart Slane. For whatever reason, Beaver’s feelings towards these men feels…different. The hatred that he knows should be there has been replaced by feelings of respect and admiration. Beavs looks down at his hands and sees the remnants of what use to be people.
Dustin Beaver: “Take that dickwad, fucking zombies!”
Beaver is still clutching the skin eater he destroyed when a voice that sounds like WSeaF announcer, Zach Davis, overpowers the sounds of painful moaning around him.
Zach Davis: May I have your attention please? The producers have tabulated the results. The winner of the Zombie Invasion Clusterfuck Match is...DUSTIN BEAVER!
Jack Ü - "Where Are Ü Now" plays us out as Dustin Beaver celebrates doing the dance with the limp now dead-undead corpse he finally felled while men in Hazmat suits enter the ring to check everyone for zombie bites.
Beavs opened his eyes as the sound of his alarm clock blared in his ears. He reached over to hit the button to make the terrible beeping noise stop. Beaver groggily looked at the red neon numbers and saw that it was 6:00 am on the nose.
DB: “Well that was a weird ass dream. Ugh, this is going to be a long ass day.”
Beavs whipped the blankets off of himself and stumbled to the bathroom. He disrobed and hopped in the shower. Beaver’s wrestling trained body ached from all of the experiences he had put himself through for the last several months now. Today however would not be another training day for the Beavs. He had already let Gags know the previous Friday that he had a meeting planned for today and that it could very well determine Beaver’s success for his near future outside of the wrestling ring. Beavs stepped out of the shower and dried himself off. He walked out of the bathroom and into his very spacious walk-in closet. Beaver wanted to look his best today, so he picked out his brand new, custom fitted William Fioravanti suit. After checking himself in the mirror several times to make sure he looked his absolute best, Beavs made his way to the four stall garage to start up the Escalade. He decided that he should probably grab some breakfast at his favorite local Tim Horton’s, to show off for some of the common folk in the area. Beaver backed out of the garage and began the drive to his chowing destination. His advanced copy of ‘The Life of Pablo’ played over his speaker system on his way towards downtown. Beavs was able to hook himself up with an official, non-poor person pirated copy, of the album through one of his numerous connections.
DB: “Man, Kanye going in on this one. Shit is hot fire!”
Beaver was listening to the song, ‘Ultralight Beams’ as he rolled into the Timmy Ho’s parking lot. He stepped out of the Escalade looking and feeling like a million bucks, especially compared to the normal, unimportant people that surrounded him. Beavs stepped in through the front doors and looked over the menu in front of him, while some middle aged woman who Beaver guessed was a secretary for the boss at ‘Insert Stupid Business Name Here’ business downtown. He muttered under his breath.
DB: “Ugh, average people.”
After what seemed to Beavs like way too fucking long of a wait, it was finally his turn to order. A slightly overweight, unattractive to Beaver, likely single mom in her mid to late 20s greeted him as he stepped up to the counter.
Timmy Ho’s cashier girl: “Welcome! How can I help you today, sir?”
Beaver looked the girl up and down for a moment with a look of slight disgust on his face.
DB: “Um hi, yeah I know the manager. Is there any way I could talk to him really quick?”
Timmy Ho’s cashier girl: “Uh sure, let me go check to see if he’s available! Just one second, please!”
DB: “Yeah, fine.”
The girl skipped away to the back as Beavs continued to picture her nasty to him face. He continued to talk to himself in a hushed voice.
DB: “God damn, why can’t I just deal with fucking pleasant looking people all the time? I mean shit, is it really that hard to hire a normal fucking person at this shit hole?!”
After another minute or so, a tall, lanky guy in his mid-30s with long greasy hair covered up by a ‘Tim Horton’s” hat, with a somehow still acne covered face at his age, emerged from the back area and walked up to the counter and faced Beaver. The manager had a perplexed look on his face as he looked at Beavs.
Timmy Ho’s manager: “Um, I was told that I know you?”
Beaver leaned on the counter and motioned for the manager to get closer to him.
DB: “Look man, that girl that was about to take my order…well in the nicest way I can say this, she’s butt fucking ugly, bro. I don’t know if you know who I am, but I’m Dustin fucking Beaver, WSeaF mega star. When I order food and I’m about to eat, I want to have to deal with someone who is pleasing to look at, not someone who is going to make me want to vomit up my…delicious Timmy Ho’s breakfast, you feel me?”
The manager sighed and lifted up his hat, scratching at his greasy hair as he thought about what to do.
Timmy Ho’s manager: “Well Mr. Beaver, I did know who you were as soon as I walked out from the back, that’s why I was surprised that you said you knew me! I’d have to say I’m somewhat of a Beavliever myself, but my favorite member of #beachkrew would have to be Sandy Coconutz, I mean, have you seen the cans on her?!”
Beavs muffled a laugh.
DB: “Uh yeah, she’s pretty alright. So listen bro, do you think you could help me out with this little issue or not?”
The manager slowly nodded his head.
Timmy Ho’s manager: “Yeah, I think I have just the girl that you’re looking for. She just got here as I was making my way out to the front. I’ll let her know to come out here to take your order, if you know what I’m saying.”
The manager gave Beaver a wink that made him feel slightly uneasy, but at least his issue was being addressed.
DB: “Sounds great to me, brah. Thanks for helping a nilla out!”
The manager retreated to the back as Beavs tapped the counter, waiting for his new order taker.
After another minute, a skinny, gorgeous blonde of questionable legal age, with at LEAST a solid C rack came out from the back and greeted Beaver with a bright white, shiny smile.
Hot Timmy Ho’s cashier: “Hello there Mr. Beaver, how can I assist you today?”
Beaver nodded in approval of the goddess that stood before him.
DB: “Damn girl, now this is more like it. Um, yeah how about you hook me up with a Bagel B.E.L.T., a dark roast and your number?”
The girl laughed and blushed as Beavs attempted to hold the girl’s hand that she had left out on the counter.
Hot Timmy Ho’s cashier: “Well your total comes to $6.75. But about my number, I already have a boyfriend, Mr. Beaver!”
Beavs scoffed and shrugged his shoulders.
DB: “Well I guess it fucking sucks to be that guy now that the Great Beaver wants you, right?”
The girl continued to laugh and blush as Beavs continued to put on the heat. She stared at Beaver and lightly bit her bottom lip before responding to his question.
Hot Timmy Ho’s cashier: “Yeah, I suppose giving you my number couldn’t hurt. You got your phone on ya?”
Beaver slyly smiled as he pulled his phone out of his pocket and unlocked it. He carefully handed it to the girl and like it was her own phone, very quickly stored her number in it. She smiled devilishly at Beavs as she handed the phone back to him. Beaver looked at his phone and saw that her name was ‘Brittany’.
DB: “Cool, I’ll be hittin’ your ass up soon, Brittany, Beavlieve that.”
Brittany continued to blush as she glanced down at the floor and then back into Beavs’ eyes. As the two continued their eye fucking of each other, the manager personally brought Beaver’s order up to the counter.
Timmy Ho’s manager: “Here you are, Mr. Beaver. I hope, Brittany, here was more than accommodating to your needs.”
Beaver nodded in agreement.
DB: “Brittany was perfect, my man, thanks for the grub. I’ll for sure stop by here again soon, see ya later.”
Beaver tilted his head at the manager and winked at Brittany as he exited the Timmy Ho’s. Beaver stared at Brittany's number for a moment just before stepping back into the Escalade to continue his journey. Just as Beavs was thinking about what Brittany would look like sans clothes, his phone vibrated in his hand as he received a new text message. The text was from Gags.
Gags text: "Hey kid, I know you're busy today but I wanted to let you know that I know what your upcoming match at Slam will be. I can't say that I know what to make of it, but your match will be a nine man tag match with three teams of three. I know, yet another clusterfuck match, but remember what I said about doing your best in EVERY match! Anyways, it will be Bernard Core/Vengeance//Benjamin Atreyu vs Mikey eXtreme/Tiffany White/Teo Del Sol vs Chance von Crank/Zombie McMorris/You. Can't say I really understand why you're being paired with non-#beachkrew people, but it is what it is. Good luck with everything today, Beavs!"
Beaver looked at the match in the text, and his anger rose as he did so. ANOTHER clusterfuck match? ANOTHER non-#beachkrew team match? But as he looked at all of the names involved, something about this match seemed important to Beavs. He couldn't quite put his finger on it then, but he there was something about this match that made him feel like there was a statement to be made. A puzzled Beaver shook his head as he put his phone back in his pocket and hopped back into the Escalade. He entered an address into his GPS and he was off on his way.
Monday February 15th, 8:50 am
Beaver arrived at the International Management Group (IMG) Canada branch at 175 Bloor St E, ten minutes before his scheduled meeting with them. IMG represented well known athletes from all over the world, and Beavs saw it as the perfect organization to take control of his business ventures once he had shifted his career to wrestling. He once again stepped out of the Escalade and straightened his jacket as he walked up to the front door of the building. Beaver was greeted by an attractive brunette, with a top cut just low enough to see that she was packing some serious heat in the rack department. Beavs smirked as he thought to himself.
DB: "Now this is the way to greet people coming in!"
The brunette glanced away from her computer and smiled at Beaver as he walked up to her desk.
IMG secretary: "Good morning, sir, how can I help you?"
A confident Beavs strolled up to the desk and flashed the secretary a winning grin.
DB: "Yes, I have a 9:00 meeting with Mr. Jones, I'm Dustin Beaver."
IMG secretary: "Ah yes, Mr. Beaver welcome back, we've been eagerly awaiting your return. I'll let Mr. Jones know that you're here, if you want to have a seat in the waiting area over there for just a moment."
DB: "Excellent, thank you very much."
Beavs walked over to the waiting area and took a seat in one of the fine leather chairs that sat in a row. Autographed pictures of famous athletes and people that IMG represented adorned the walls. A large flat screen hung on the wall above and across from the row of chairs. Beaver watched some morons spin the big wheel on ‘Price is Right’ as he sat there waiting for his name to be called. Beavs giggled to himself as he watched some heavy set woman attempt to get the wheel around for a full spin.
DB: “Wow look at this tub of goo making an idiot out of herself just for a few bucks. That is absolutely disgraceful; she should be embarrassed for herself and everyone that knows her.”
As Beaver shook his head and continued to watch the train wreck unfold, the secretary called out for him.
IMG secretary: “Mr. Beaver, Mr. Jones is ready to see you now.”
She motioned down the hallway to her right.
IMG secretary: “Mr. Jones’ office is just down this hallway, it will be the last door on your left.”
DB: “Very good, thank you miss, your help has been most welcomed.”
IMG secretary: “No problem, Mr. Beaver, have a great day.”
Beaver stood up and straightened his suit jacket once more, brushed himself off and exhaled before heading down the long hallway. He felt a little nervous, not sure what would come about from the meeting about to take place, but he still felt confident that Dustin Beaver was still destined to become a household name. Beavs turned to the left and peaked into the doorway before making his way in.
DB: “Mr. Jones?”
Mr. Jones stood up from his black leather reclining high back executive chair. He was a deceptively tall man when sitting down, but as he stood, Beaver saw that Jones was a few inches taller than him. Even with his fine suit on, Beaver could also tell that Jones was muscular and with his trimmed full beard, he really had the man’s man look down.
Mr. Jones: “Beaver, my boy, please come on in!”
Beavs flashed Jones his endearing smile and stuck his hand out for the proper greeting. Jones returned the gesture, shaking Beaver’s hand with a grip that nearly crushed Beavs’ fingers.
Mr. Jones: “Thanks for coming to visit with me today, Dustin. I also appreciate your punctuality; I like to be able to keep things moving with this hectic fucking schedule I keep for myself, ha ha.”
DB: “No problem, Mr. Jones, anything for the man that takes care of my money and business endeavors.”
Mr. Jones: “Well how about we get right to it then. Oh before I take a seat, can I get you anything to drink? Alcohol or otherwise?”
Beaver laughed.
DB: “No thanks, Mr. Jones, I’m alright.”
Mr. Jones went behind his desk and retrieved a bottle of Beaveater that he lifted for Beavs to see. Beaver laughed as Jones poured himself a glass and put the bottle back.
Mr. Jones: “That’s some good ass gin, Beavs, and the Beefeater people are very happy with our relationship, so I don’t think you’ll have to worry about that stuff becoming scarce anytime soon.”
DB: “Ha ha, well that’s great to hear! I really do enjoy the Beaveater drink; I have at least a few bottles handy at home at any given time.”
Mr. Jones: “Yup, sales numbers look great for it. It looks like the only comment they really had is maybe to do a few more promotional appearances at clubs to keep the name fresh. But it looks like that was just a minor thing, so I wouldn’t even worry about that now. Just keep doing what you do my man, I’m sure hanging out with #beachkrew, you’ll make your way around to all the clubs anywhere you go anyways, ha ha.”
DB: “Ha ha yeah, I’ll remember to start yelling my name a little louder when I arrive on the scene. I guarantee you we’ve been hitting up enough drinking establishments that they know to roll out the red carpet when #beachkrew hits their city!”
Mr. Jones: “Good, yeah you’re affiliation with #beachkrew is really working out well. You guys have that teenage demographic on lock, the kids fucking love you. I would say just stick with them for as long as you can and you’ll see your merchandise sales and everything like that stay higher than the WCF average.”
Beaver nodded his head.
DB: “Yeah you won’t see me splitting from those guys anytime soon. Everyone in #beachkrew is like family now; we’re going to stick together through thick and thin.”
Mr. Jones: “Perfect, one thing I’ve seen that’s been a concern is you losing a few matches lately, including one where you lost the TV title belt. Is this going to be something that we’re going to have to worry about?”
Beavs rubbed his chin and thought for a second before responding.
DB: “Yeah, I lost the SeaV title, but I held that title for over two months. The fans that watch WSeaF television for sure know who the hell Dustin Beaver is by now. And as far as losses go, none of my losing has been from a lack of trying. The people know that when they face Dustin Beaver in a wrestling ring, they’re going to be in for one tough fight. I’m still putting butts in seats and the wins are going to come as I keep going out there and giving them the best Beaver possible.”
Mr. Jones nodded slowly at Beaver’s reply.
Mr. Jones: “…alright Dustin, I’m going to trust you on that based on the gold in your history. But we really need to see some wins soon. Speaking of which, are you scheduled for a match at Slam this weekend?”
Beavs had nearly forgotten about the text that Gags had sent him just before the meeting, but now his feelings of the match that he wasn’t too thrilled about being placed in came flooding back. But then he remembered how he thought that there might be more to the match, and as he looked at Mr. Jones, he knew exactly what that something to the match was.
DB: “Um yeah, I was placed in a crazy nine person, three team tag team match. My partners aren’t even #beachkrew members and I was pissed when I first saw the match, but after this meeting, I think it’s actually a good one.”
Mr. Jones’ eyebrow rose as he listened to Beaver.
Mr. Jones: “Oh, and what about this meeting made you change your mind about the upcoming match?”
Beavs pulled out his cell phone and opened the text from Gags. He stared at the names listed in the text. Beaver sat up a little in his chair and looked up at Jones again before answering.
DB: “Well you see I’m partnered with Zombie McMorris and Chance von Crank. Zombie McMorris, or ZMac as he’s more commonly referred to, is a legend among the basement dwellers of the internet. I mean, this dude is worshiped by neckbeards across the globe for his work on the internet like he’s a true God among men. In the same vein, Chance von Crank is the hero of every piece of white trash that’s ever resided in a trailer park. He has that poor and unintelligent demographic under his thumb for the foreseeable future. Like you said earlier, Dustin Beaver and #beachkrew have the teenage and cool bro bracket on lock. All three of us know how to market ourselves and keep ourselves relevant, whether we’re winning matches in the ring or not.”
Beavs looked down at the phone again and pointed to the screen.
DB: “The other people on the two other teams, no one gives a shit about any of these lames. I’ll start with this first team, Bernard Core, Vengeance and Benjamin Atreyu. Bernard Core realized he’s a nobody and is now heading out of the WSeaF, I’d say it’s a good career move on his part. Vengeance, he’s an old guy in a mask that’s supposed to scare people? Please, that tired gimmick has been done to death and hasn’t been interesting since like 1995. He’ll realize he’s washed up when he loses that US title shot at Timebomb, and then poof! There will be no more Vengy. And then there’s Benjamin Atreyu? I mean come on; the dude hasn’t done anything of note for three years, when is he going to finally realize that it’s just not going to happen for him? Maybe after he gets annihilated and bounced from the Trilogy Cup tournament in the first round by the joke known as, Occulo, he’ll realize the ship has sailed. That team is full of old, has-beens or never was’ that just need to wake up and smell that their careers have nowhere to go but down or straight the hell out of WSeaF.”
Mr. Jones: “Ha ha ouch, some harsh criticism for that team! What about the other team you’ll be facing?”
DB: “This other team Mikey eXtreme, Tiffany White and Teo Del Sol. Where to even start? I guess I’ll start with the non-champ of the group, Tiffany White. This bitch is the definition of what the WSeaF Galaxy doesn’t want to see in the ring. She’s a militant lesbian who shoves her same sex status down everyone’s throats. Listen, no one fucking cares! It’s 2016, the gay thing just doesn’t capture people’s interest anymore and it just looks like a desperate, pathetic attempt to gain some kind of relevancy within the organization. How about you start maybe trying to win a title or even a match of some kind of importance, maybe someone will finally give a shit then! Speaking of pride, Mikey eXtreme continues to pride himself on being the kingpin of the US. Like I’ve said in the past, he can continue to be the big fish in that small, shit filled pond; Dustin Beaver has always been about going worldwide and being the best man on the fucking planet. eXtreme can continue this selling of himself short though, just shows that he’ll never be willing to take that next step. I however am more than willing to do that, and beating him here will show that.”
Beaver scratched his head while thinking about the last name in the text.
DB: “And Teo Del Sol, or Teddy Blaze as I like to think of him, this guy is nothing but a pretender. Wants to be Mexican, isn’t. He thinks he’s good for being the hero of the people. All that makes you is the biggest ass kisser in the entire company. But be proud of that Teddy, you know, at least it’s something, right?! But just like every People’s champion before you, people are going to eventually lose interest and then where will you be, Teddy? I’ll tell you exactly where you’ll be, you’ll be sitting in some disgusting Mexican ghetto blowing dudes for a peso a pop, reminiscing them in between breaths of how you used to be the man. You want to know what I’ll be doing while all of that’s going on? I’ll be sitting in my mansion as all of my business ventures continue to roll the money in and I can sit around doing whatever the hell I want! Dustin Beaver knows how to do shit right and I’m going to continue to be significant in and out of the wrestling game as long as I’m alive and breathing!”
Mr. Jones slow clapped at the end of Beaver’s rant.
Mr. Jones: “Now that’s the shit I needed to hear, Dustin! If you put the same passion, that same fire into your match this weekend, I see you getting a win without a problem! The goal of this meeting wasn’t to make you nervous or to force you to win matches, I just wanted to make sure you were will serious about this thing and that you were going to do everything to keep raking in that dough. With what you just told me now, I don’t see us having a problem still representing you and your rise back to the top. Good luck this weekend, Beavs, and I’ll see you again sometime!”
Mr. Jones stood and put his hand out for Beaver to shake it. Beavs rose and shook Jones’ hand, returning the power of the grasp. Beaver turned to walk out of the room, but Jones’ voice stopped him just before he reached the door.
Mr. Jones: “Oh and Dustin don’t stop Beavlieving!”
Beaver laughed.
DB: “Don’t worry, Mr. Jones, that isn’t going to happen anytime soon!”
