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Post by Vulgar on Feb 20, 2016 15:56:45 GMT -5
Bench Press- 400 lbs. 45 minutes.
Stone Lift- 743 lbs. 1 hour.
Wrestling- Jumped some heavyset guy coming out of the liquor store underneath my tenement. Tapped him with an ankle lock and stole his Marshmallow Vodka.
Protein- Three plates of frozen shrimp, a bowl of Met-Rx Pancake Mix, some ground beef, and a ham steak.
Steroids- Eight Dianabol tablets, two glasses of horse blood, and a handful of cocaine-derivative military stimulants.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Feb 20, 2016 18:38:35 GMT -5
@riddikuler
Horse blood? Fucking rookies. It's not even hard to get bear blood.
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Post by Vulgar on Feb 21, 2016 7:45:19 GMT -5
02/21/2016
Current Weight- 200 lbs.
Bench Press- 400 lbs. 45 minutes.
Flagpole Hold- 2 hours. Had to stop because the cops figured out how to get on the roof of the governor's office.
Wrestling- Some hiker in Cheesequake State Park was nice enough to let me practice suplexes on him for an hour. Afterwards, I went to rub one out behind the Nature Center but got spotted by a maintenance workers. I started urinating in an attempt to play it off, but he tried to put me under citizen's arrest so I was forced to cross hands with him in an impromptu sparring match. He decided to let me go after I held him down in kesa-gatame and made him eat leaves.
Protein- One bar of sharp cheddar cheese, a pound of whey, a basset hound, a medallion of bison meat, and a ham steak.
Steroids- One bottle of cheque drops, five injections of EPO, and a canister of Venom.
Notes- Trying to increase muscle mass ala Alistair Overeem to better my ability to assault strangers.
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Post by Vulgar on Feb 22, 2016 17:28:31 GMT -5
02/22/20... 16?
Current Weight- 285 lbs. (Still only 200 lbs without chainmail and leg plates, though).
Bench Press- 400 lbs. 45 minutes.
Samson's Chair- 5 hours. The people trying to push past me in the emergency exit at the movie theater were distracting, but couldn't budge me.
Wrestling- I tried to schmooze my way into a teenage fight club I found peeking into basement windows in Sayreville, but the kids just locked the doors and tried to call the police. After switching on my cellphone jammer and quickly cutting the phone line, I managed to kick through a window and finally get them to agree to an impromptu sparring match after cornering them in the cellar (I don't really understand the slang kids are using nowadays, but apparently it consists of a lot of screaming and crying). One of the main rules of Fight Club is that you HAVE to throw down if it's your first time there, after all.
In retrospect, they probably would've been more of a challenge if I wasn't pumping carbon monoxide into the house while all this was going down. I'll save the altitude training for myself in the future.
Protein- Three broiled lobsters, a bowl of goose pâté, two plates of raw oysters, a cut of filet mignon, and a ham steak.
Steroids- Several mouthfuls of gorilla testosterone (In its original packaging), seven "mystery pills," and 70 grams of trenbolone acetate.
Notes- My cardiovascular training is apparently going really well. My heart is having such an easy time pumping blood that it skips every third beat now. Doesn't even need it.
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Post by Riddlebox on Feb 23, 2016 0:35:35 GMT -5
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Post by Vulgar on Feb 23, 2016 15:57:20 GMT -5
02/17/2012
Current Weight- 205 lbs.
Bench Press- 400 lbs. 45 minutes.
Bear Crawls- 3 hours. This was really hard in the sand, especially when I got to the nudist section of the beach where the ground (For some reason) was crinkled in a manner akin to chewed bubble-gum.
Wrestling- Worked my striking with some park rangers who tried to arrest me while I was bear crawling through the nature preserve area at Sandy Hook. Afterwards, I ended up crawling into a pond and accidentally smashing a few eggs that apparently belonged to a pair of very large mute swans. This resulted in me getting into an impromptu sparring match with two, who turned out to be considerably stronger and more aggressive than I would've anticipated. I eventually won the encounter, though, after dragging the couple underneath the water (Along with myself) and drowning them for thirty minutes.
I passed out, as well, but had the good fortune to be pulled ashore by another very kind park ranger (Who was also nice enough to let me work some neck cranks on him immediately after I woke up).
Protein- A swan egg-and-cheese omelette, three cuts of swan bacon, two swan burgers, a huge hunk of turswanken, and a ham steak.
Steroids- Fifty pills of something.
Cheat Day!- Three containers of purple Funfetti frosting (With the sprinkles), five boxes of Betty Crocker Cherry Chip cake mix, and two boxes of vintage Batman Returns cereal (With Philadelphia Caramel Cream Cheese).
Notes- Some guy keeps calling me and saying that I still have several matches left on my "WCF" contract. I don't know what that is.
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