Programmed to HATE

[cVc™]

Programmed to HATE 

2/19/2016
Atlanta, GA
Unknown Downtown Business Building
2:23 P.M.



The scene opens up in a beautiful downtown Atlanta business building. The name can’t be made out on the side as Chance Von Crank pushes the swinging doors open. He is wearing Tom Ford from head to to toe. cVc however is missing his infamous mullet. Crank’s hair is now cut close but his mustache still stands prominent across his face. Chance continues to rub the fresh stubble across the top of his head. cVc walks across the lobby still sporting a sore shoulder and black eye from his encounter with Pixie and Tiffany White. Chance pushes a button on the wall in order to call the elevator.

*DING*

The bell indicates the elevator has arrived. Crank walks into the elevator. A man and his wife also get on. Chance folds his arms and stands proud towards the back of the elevator. It begins to lift them all as the couple suddenly recognizes the famous wrestler.

“Hey aren’t you Chance Von Crank?” The man blurts out. Crank ignores him completely but gives his wife’s breasts a long glance. cVc reaches in his pocket then pulls out one of his trading cards. He writes his hotel number at the Atlanta Hilton across the back. He then hands it to the man’s well endowed wife and leans in towards her.

“If you want to know what it’s like to be shocked and rolled, give me a holler.” Chance exclaims. The woman’s husband loses his nerve and begins to shuffle his wife off the elevator as the door swings open. Crank chuckles as he watches fear consume the young man’s face. The door closes shut then the elevator continues to ascend.

*DING*

The bell indicates to cVc that he has arrived at the top floor. He walks out of the elevator and into a small hallway. The door at the end leads to a waiting room. The secretary immediately picks up the phone when she realizes Chance has arrived. cVc shuts the door behind him then takes a seat in the waiting room. The secretary suddenly looks up at Chance. “Mr. Crank, they will be out immediately. They will not keep you waiting long I assure you, sir.” she promises.

Chance nods at her then looks at the magazines on the table just out from him. cVc searches through them with his eyes and notices a cover with a loving grandmother. This shakes him for some reason. Crank just stares at the magazine lost in some sort of trance. Crank begins to drift off towards an earlier time in his life, lost in a full blown day dream. He shuffles in his seat wincing slightly from the soreness caused by the chair beating last sunday. He recalls that beating then another.. The daydream sends him towards a painful embarrassing memory...




2/23/2001
Harlan High Gym
Harlan County, KY
7:26 P.M.



The Harlan community this time of the year would usually be at the Harlan High Gym but snow has kept most home this night. The wrestling qualifiers for state are going on and the winner of the final match of the night is guaranteed a spot at state. Chance Von Crank is just fifteen years old. He is going up against Henry McClain next who has won state the past two years. Henry is from Evarts which is adjacent to Harlan. Thus why this match has went on even with snow outside. Most people in the gym are rooting for cVc but they all know McClain has been unbeatable for some reason over the past two years.

Chance has no family at the event. Only kids who will root for him during the match but just tease him about his transgendered father before it begins. Hank is off wrestling out west but these high school kids haven’t forgotten him. Chance made varsity early and quickly became the best wrestler in the entire school. Crank’s coach is out back drunk in his pickup truck. Henry’s coach is hovering right over his wrestler and explaining in loud detail why Henry is better than cVc.

Henry has all expensive new gear while Chance has nothing new. Everything he owns are hand me downs or things he’s stolen from rich school’s while wrestling at different events. The referee finally gives up on Crank’s coach. He calls the two boys over to the mat.

“The snow is getting worse outside so we will have one pin takes it all.” The referee whispers. A grin crosses Henry’s face as he knows this favors him. Crank doesn’t take his eyes off of his opponent the entire time. He doesn’t blink just shoots a cold stare in attempt to intimidate. “I’m gonna whip that ass, sissy boy!” Henry exclaimed at Chance.

The referee flips a coin and quickly nabs it up as it hits the ground before cVc or Henry can see. He declares Henry the winner of the coin toss so he gets to hover above Chance with better starting position for this one pin takes all match. State is at stake as the two boys get into position to begin the match. “Set” the referee called out. “GO!” screamed the referee.

Chance’s first encounter with his much more qualified counterpart is intense to say the least. Henry immediately wraps both arms around Chance’s neck then pulls him close. Crank feels something in his back as he attempts to get away. cVc realizes suddenly that his opponent has a hard on and it’s hitting Chance in the back. Henry whispered in Chance’s ear.

“You are my bitch. I know you feel that. You can’t even beat a gay guy.” Henry whispered. Henry then drags his erection across Chance’s back which enrages cVc. Suddenly he flings both arms out, catching Henry across the bridge of his nose with his left elbow! Crank sells the accident so well the referee doesn’t even stop to reset the two. Chance quickly positions himself on top of Henry, who is now flat on his back. Chance pins him down using both of his knees. The referee reluctantly counts. He counts to three leading the gym to whistle with cheers. The referee mutters, “I’m Sorry” at Henry’s coach who thought the fix was in.

The referee reluctantly hands Chance two medals for winning the match and advancing to state. The gym clears out as Henry is hauled away to the harlan hospital. His nose is broken in two places but he has left young Chance totally confused. Crank walks out of the locker room after he changes into warmer clothes for the walk home. The gym is now empty so cVc looks at the mat one last time before he turns to walk away. Chance heads out the swinging doors then east towards Crank’s Trailer Park.

Chance proudly displays his two new medals on the outside of his hoodie sweatshirt. He has the hood up over his head as he walks in the deep snow. “Crank’s Trailer Park” is written across a sign on the side of the road that he walks past. The first trailer is where his grandmother lives. This is now where he and his sister Charlene reside also. Chance’s father ran off with a black man to live as a woman. Social Services took Chance and Charlene from their mother and gave them to Hank’s mother. Mamaw Crank is what Charlene and young Chance call her. A very religious woman that only believes in the word of God.

cVc walks through the snowy front yard of the trailer then bounces up on two concrete blocks that are used as steps directly in front of the front door. Chance looks at the streetlight to see how much snow is coming down in the darkness. The wind swirls it around but all Chance can think about is a gay dude violating him. He realizes he needs his grandmother’s guidance as he knocks on the plastic window of the screen door.

*Knock! Knock!*

“COME IN!” screamed a voice from inside the trailer. Chance opens the cheap screen door up then twists the knob of the trailer door. He twists it slightly then pushes it open slowly. The light hits his face and causes him to wince from shock after being in darkness outside. He adjusts his eyes towards the couch as he shuts the door behind him. Mamaw Crank is sitting on the couch. She is wearing an old christmas sweater than has a fresh brown slimy snuff tobacco stain across the front. She wipes her mouth off after she wipes the excess snuff off her lips.

“So I heard you won?” She asked. Chance takes off his medals then rushes over to her to show them off. She looks them over with wonder as Chance began.

“I won, mamaw. I bet mom would be proud if she was out of rehab.” Chance said. Crank sat down in a chair next to the couch. “I did have something weird happen tho, Mamaw.” Crank admitted. Mamaw Crank looks up from the medals with a look of wonder. “What?” She asked.

Chance stands back up nervous because of his grandmother's strong religious beliefs. “That guy I wrestled I figured out why he was winning so much.” Chance boasted. She continued to stare at cVc with a relentless glare. “He gets a hardon before it starts and then he puts it on you. That is how Henry was beating all those boys and he put his wiener all over my back like that too! I broke his nose in two places and won a fixed fight tonight, Mamaw.” Chance bragged.

Charlene is in her bedroom watching the shadows of her grandmother and brother dance off the wall. She watches as her grandmother's shadow rises up off the couch. This causes Charlene herself to rise up off the bed with pure fear. Mamaw Crank wads the medals up in her right fist. Chance looks up at her. She takes a wide swing at Chance nailing him between the eyes with her medal wrapped fist! The fifty five year old grandmother continued to assault her fifteen year old grandson with his own metals. She then blacked his right eye with a sharp blow then her next shot left a cut above his left eye.

Mamaw Crank lifted her left leg into the air above Chance who was covering himself up to avoid the shots! She began to stomp him in the ribs. He rolled around on the small love seat unable to escape the beating. Chance’s grandmother then allowed the medals to dangle from her right hand. She then began to swat Chance over and over. Crank had bruises popping up all over as she continued to beat on cVc she began to explain.

“You will not grow up to be a sissy like your dead beat daddy did. I refuse to allow you to fall into that homosexual devil business!” She screamed. Chance falls in the floor at her feet and begins to beg her to stop. She kicked him in the rib cage lifting him up off the ground. cVc searched desperately for his breath as she continued to stomp and spew hatred at him.

“Being gay means you are a true demon! I will beat that gayness out of you! YOU WILL NOT TURN OUT GAY, CHANCE!” She screamed. Chance lifted his head to beg but she just grabbed him up by his mullet. Mamaw Crank then began to pull cVc towards the bathroom. She drug him down a short hallway towards a small bathroom. Charlene watched as they passed by her open bedroom door. She then continued to watch the shadows dance across the walls of the hallway. Mamaw Crank pulled Chance up to his knees then pulled his pants down. She then turned around to retrieve something out of a medicine cabinet hanging above the bathroom sink.

Mamaw Crank then turned back towards cVc holding a straight razor. She flipped it open then began to scream at Chance again. “Pull it out! Extend it out with your fingers, CHANCE! All the way out!”

Charlene can see the shadows on the wall and cowers in fear. She held her blanket up to her mouth as she watched the shadows interact. Chance’s shadow used it’s hand to extend it’s penis out. The shadow also showed how badly cVc was shaking. Mamaw Crank took the straight razor close to Chance’s genitals then locked eyes with her grandson.

“Chance if you ever do anything gay again or even let some queer get one over on you… I swear to The God Almighty, I will cut it off with this straight razor. I will cut it off so you can’t reproduce and make other gay people. I wish I had killed your father in my womb with a rusty clotheshanger… I wish I’d destroyed that demon before it could breath my God’s Air.” She barked at Chance.

Mamaw Crank then leaned way back. She swung with all she had at Chance. Her fist landed flush with his jaw sending him to the bathroom floor. She hovered over Chance for a second. She then spat snuff tobacco juice at him! The sticky brown mess smacks against his left cheek. Mamaw Crank then stepped over Chance to head back for her couch.

Charlene waited until she could hear that her grandmother was back settled in the living room. She then got up out of bed and quietly crept to the bathroom. She found Chance laying in the floor and her eyes welled up. Charlene wiped the spit off his face then gathered up his medals off the nasty bathroom floor. Charlene then quietly pulled her much larger brother slowly towards his room. The trailer bedroom door made a huge squeaking noise as it crept open causing Charlene to freeze mid drag. She heard nothing from the living room and continued to pull Chance into his room. cVc was breathing heavily after being knocked out cold. Charlene pulled him up into his flakeboard car bed. The lambo was sweet back in the day but now just cramps cVc’s style. Charlene tucked him in then quietly snook back to her own room.






2/19/2016
Atlanta, GA
Unknown Business Building
2:34 P.M.



“Mr. Crank?” a female voice calls out. Chance Von Crank suddenly snaps out of his daydream. The secretary calls out again leading cVc to look up at her finally. “Yes?” he asks.

“They are ready for you in the conference room, sir.” She responds. Chance stands up taking one last gander at the good grandmother on the magazine cover. He walks through two doors next to the secretary’s desk. Inside the room are many various toys. “[Adult Swim]” is written across the wall behind the desk, finally revealing the building Chance has been in.

“That room over there is the conference room!” The secretary calls out. Chance turns and notices another door out from the large desk. He walks towards it and gets ahold of the knob. He closes his eyes then twists the knob then pushes the door open.

“Welcome! Chance Von Crank in the flesh!” Seth Green calls out. Chance enters the conference room and immediately recognizes Seth Green, Robot Chicken creator. The two men meet alongside the middle of a long table. Chance reaches down and shakes hands with the much smaller Green. cVc then shakes the two other men’s hands that are also with Seth.

Seth continues to talk while the other two appear to be starstruck by cVc. “We want to sign you for a fifteen minute cartoon. It will air at 1 AM after Squidbillies and will be 15 minutes in length.” Seth gushes. Chance walks over to the long table then takes a seat in one of the many empty chairs.

“The Chance Von Crank Show” will be a cartoon based solely on your life, cVc. We will tell the stories fifteen minutes at a time and who knows where the marketing could lead with such a popular show.” Seth continues.

Chance notices that the table has many cameras mounted on each end. This leads him to wonder why but he quickly moves past the issue. Seth Green puts down both of his hands flat on the table. He locks eyes with cVc. “Chance you are very lucky that there are no video of your domestic violence outbursts. I talked my bosses into this idea but you must behave off the mat to ensure this show can happen. This will further your brand more than you can even imagine. This is Ted and Bill by the way, my two bosses.” Seth exclaims. The two men sit down and look on as Seth continues.

“These two guys are actually huge fans of your work. They want you to sell them on your ability to shoot. This deal depends on you selling yourself to them.” Seth explains. A sly grin crosses Crank’s face.

“Shoot? You want me to shoot right here… right now? On who?” Chance asks puzzled. Seth sits down slowly beside both of his bosses. He hands Chance a printout. Crank looks it over and realizes it is the newest SLAM card. “How about those opponents you have coming up?” Seth asks. Both of his bosses look gitty at the possibility of witnessing a cVc promo live. “We will film it and release it to Youtube if you like? We have mounted camera’s everywhere. "So what do you say?” Seth asks wide eyed.

“Let’s do it.” Chance responds. The three men flip a few switches to turn the tv’s along the back wall on. The camera’s are pointed throughout the room all across the long table. The shots from the cameras appear across the wall on three different rows of flat screens. Chance leaps up on the long table, shocking the three men already. He walks along the long table then turns to walk back before reaching the end. The camera’s film as he begins.

“The WCF has put the best asset they have into a huge match. Me, cVc. Bernard Core is a name I should recognize but I don’t. He’s no Chance Von Crank. I know that. I bet when the real shit gets deep he will run like a bitch. Go make tests and leave this business to real men.” Chance spews.

Crank walks along the table and stops directly in front of Green and the other two men. He bends over and snatches up the print off. He simulates wiping his ass with the printout of the SLAM card. He throws it at Seth Green before he continues on.

“Oh.. and he will partner up with Vengeance? I’ve already beaten him. I pinned him in the middle of the ring. One! Two! Three! I don’t even want to talk about you because I know you don’t matter in the grand scheme. You are down a partner from what I heard from facebook any damn way. I heard his feelings clashed with his pussy, leaving you and Ben totally fucked. Too real? I hate you, Vengeance. I want to pin you again just to show you that you will never be cVc. I want to crush any dream you have of being pushed.” Chance screams.

Crank continues down the list of opponents amazing the starstruck audience that watches on.

“Atreyu… What a shame it is to see you waste what talent you do have. You have beat Tiffany White though which cVc can admire. I have yet to pin her which means you do have one thing on the Shock N Rolla. That one thing won’t matter come Sunday though. I hope that someone dear to you dies in some unspeakable manner so you can’t make it. I think I just want to see Vengeance left to deal with the greatest living heel possibly all alone. Ben... You can’t formulate a thought in that thick shit skull of yours without some direction, can you? cVc is yet to see anything out of you that screams beware or watch out! I’ll beat you, too.”

Chance laughs at Atreyu openly. He squats down in front of one of the cameras.

“Then I see my partners… Zombie McMorris and some Belieber? Jesus… Am I the only star in this whole fuckin place? McMorris continues to win matches and belts because he has never faced true greatness like cVc. This Beaver guy has a duckface in every picture I’ve ever seen of him. If you do that on the apron cVc will put his cock in your mouth, bitch. You two shitheads couldn’t draw like Chance Von Crank even if you had an etch-a-sketch that was six feet tall. I don’t need either of you so stay out of my goddamned way or else. PEW! PEW! I’M SHOOTIN!” Chance laughs.

Chance stands back up still mocking his partners. He then walks back along the length of the long table. The three men are mesmerized by cVc’s live shoot. Seth Green has already began to stream it live to YouTube.

“Teo De What now? You sound like a shitty cheap foreign car that cVc is too rich to ever drive. Fuck off before I hurt you, you generic named douche. You will need a mask after I mangle that face. I can't even bring myself to give one single fuck about Teo Whatever. Mikey… Mikey… He will eat anything. Even a cVc fat one come Sunday. You would have lost that tag team match last SLAM had it not been for The Shock N’ Rolla. Now you find yourself on another team dreading the moment that I will smash your shit. Did you steal that belt you have? One of my partners has two and I still can’t figure out why. I ask if you stole it because you have zero wrestling ability. I mean that, too. I want you to know how much I think you suck. That way it will be that much sweeter when I beat you. I’ll own you to the point that you feel the need for cVc’s input before you spend a lot of money. I don’t like for my bitches to waste money either.” Chance roasts.

“That leaves you, Tiffany... Do you understand what you did last Sunday? Do you realize what you have awoken inside of cVc? I no longer want to just hurt you. I don’t want to stomp on your pussy just to hear you scream... oh no… I want to end you. You are just some lesbian character that is losing that new dyke smell quickly. Once they realize you couldn’t flip over a waffle let alone get over you will be history. There will be no Tiffany White after I am finished with her. Watch and see. cVc will violently end this delusion you call a career.” Chance exclaims.

The three men begin to clap at Chance Von Crank. He jumps down off the table and back onto the carpeted floor. The three men rise to their feet to shake his hand. Seth Green extends his right hand out. Chance shakes his hand quickly.

“We have a deal. Thirteen episodes!” Seth congratulates.

The End. 

 

 Chance Von Crank’s Mullet 

2010-2016