Post by Shadowlove on Feb 14, 2016 18:26:52 GMT -5
For those willing to brave monsoon-levels of sweat and other indescribable odorous smells from the average World Championship Federation Fandom, the "freaks" and "geeks" waiting for what should become a beloved tradition, #BeachMania Valentines Day Card. For a wrestling fan, this wrestling revival sounded like just the ticket. . .
But, just how does on get a ticket? Fortunately, when it comes to wrestling events, no one lives up to the ideal of egalite than the WCF's most famous and infamous superstars, that rookie sensation, the one and only, "The Handsome Half-breed" Shadowlove.
For those who can't afford to purchase tickets to #BeachMania Valentines Day Card, line waiting is the one that really wasn't an option. Cruising in the parking lot were two salty looking dudes, who I will call "Beavis" & "Butthead". They both looked like your average zombie apocalypse fan. Kinda like Rage Maxx on a good day. Both possessed the "squeaky" voices and introverted personalities common to the sports entertainment business. But if these two salty looking dudes seemed a bit Rage Maxx-ish, there was one that also had learned a few things from the "Shadow" with "Love". They told the "shadowy" figure there were rules, there were no exceptions and anyone breaking the rules would get their ass kicked. No Shoes, No Shirt, No Service. Absolutely. No. Additions. And. No. Substitutions.
"The Handsome Halfbreed" Shadowlove, with his classic masculine and modern mussed, razor-textured, choppy finished dark brown hair, showing off a fighters face looks on unphased with his ice cold stare which radiants from his blue eyes. Stripped to the waist showing off the upper body of a Greek God, with washboard abs, in Crocodile skinned pants with Alligator skinned boots. With his head bowed, his low and dusky voice, oozing all the charm and charisma, that one can muster, mister:
Shadowlove: Did you hear that?
"HER STRUT" by Bob Seger & The Silver Bullet Band
starts to play on the Bose® (product placement) SoundTouch® (product placement) outdoor surround sound system. (You guessed it, back by popular demand cause you guys love to watch Ms. Miyamoto. . . "STRUT!")
The Infamous Superstar's personal bodyguard/valet, Ms. Miyamoto, the simply ravishing femme fatale temptress, enters with flirty confidence as she steps in rhythm, right to left, on your screen. Her raven black hair pulled back in a French braid showing off her angelic face with her eyes hidden behind a pair of RayBan sunglasses to go along with her body built for sin encased in a crimson red sequin Mandarin dress with crimson red Jimmy Choo stilettoes. Ms. Miyamoto, exuding fantastic supermodel energy, as she walks with a stiff, erect, and apparently arrogant and conceited "Strut" around "Beavis" & "Butthead" comforting that she had. Her sweet as honey, harmoniously hypnotizing, smooth as silk, smoky voice radiating through her alluring lips:
Ms. Miyamoto: I'm not getting involved.
Beavis & Butthead smacking their gum, looking to take a "Selfie".
Butthead: Rules are rules. Do something Beavis and back me up?
Before Beavis can say a word and do something, Shadowlove arm-whip clotheslines him.
Butthead: Umm hey, Beavis?
Shadowlove picks Beavis up, sets up the St. Valentines Day Massacre Dark Gift and dedicates the DDT to Ms. Miyamoto. Shadowlove Dark Gift's Beavis on the concrete.
Shadowlove, bows his head, raising his arms straight out to his sides, as if, being crucified on a cross. And on the third day, Jesus, wept. Ms. Miyamoto takes her rightful place, cradled against him, caressing his muscular chest with her fingers. She lowers her RayBan sunglasses down her perfectly flawless nose, showing off incandescent green eyes.
"TWO TICKETS TO PARADISE" by Eddie Money starts to play on the Bose® (product placement) SoundTouch® (product placement) outdoor surround sound system.
"Butthead" donates two #BeachMania Valentines Day Card tickets as a "tax write-off" to Shadowlove and Ms. Miyamoto. Shadowlove raises his head up, a tight malevolent whiplash smile appears on his lips showing off perfectly white even teeth. Ms. Miyamoto raises up her RayBan sunglasses on her perfectly flawless nose with her middle finger.
About a half hour later. . .
Beavis finally recovers from his St. Valentines Day Massacre DDT. Blood flowing from his forehead, he turns into his alter-ego "Rage Maxx", eeerrr, The Great Cornholio. He raises his forearms in a 90-degree angle next to his chest, pulling his shirt over his head, and then begin to yell or scream erratically, producing a stream of gibberish and strange noises. With his eyes wide, Rage Maxx/Cornholio wanders aimlessly around outside #BeachMania while reciting:
Rage Maxx/Cornholio: I AM RAGE MAXX/CORNHOLIO! I NEED TP FOR MY BUNGHOLE!
Butt-head: You're a bunghole, bunghole!
Now EVERYONE reading this, especially Allena:
"UH HUH HUH HUH HUH! UH HUH HUH HUH HUH!"
THIS IS THE END, MY ONLY FRIEND. . . THE END!
