Post by Jayson Price on Feb 14, 2016 1:58:33 GMT -5
February 14th, 2016
Valentines Day
Jayson Price's Bathroom
Jayson Price's Apartment
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
2:00AM
Jayson Price: "I don't want anybody else, when I think about you, I touch myself. Ooh, I don't want anybody else
Oh no, oh no, oh no."
As the scene fades in slowly, we can hear the sounds of Jayson Price belting out Divinyls "I Touch Myself".
Jayson Price: "I close my eyes and see you before me. Think I would die if you were to ignore me. A fool could see just how much I adore you. I'd get down on my knees, I'd do anything for you."
The scene comes fully into focus and the camera is in Price's bedroom, pointed at a slowly ajar door that is the lone thing shielding our eyes from what is on the other side. Against all better judgement, the cameraman moves forward and pushes the door open. Inside, Jayson Price is laying in a bathtub full of chocolate syrup, staring up at the ceiling where a full length mirror is hanging, giving him a front row show to his own debauchery.
Jayson Price: "I love myself, I want you to love me. When I feel down, I want you above me. I search myself, I want you to find me. I forget myself, I want you to remind me. I don't want anybody else. When I think about you, I touch myself. Ooh, I don't want anybody else. Oh no, oh no, oh no."
As he sings his terrifyingly seductive version of the song, we can see Price's hand moving about the chocolate syrup in the tub, no doubt committing unspeakable acts. His other hand is gripped around a bottle of Jack Daniels, from which he takes sips between verses. He stops singing as he holds the bottle in front of his face, staring at it lovingly.
Jayson Price: "Oh yes, beautiful, for it is you that I truly love. My darling. My muse. My everything. Lady Daniels, won't you be mine on this most meaningful of days?"
A single tear is shed as Price waits, once again, for an answer that will never come.
Jayson Price: "One day, my love. One day you will be mine and we will be one."
Price takes a lengthy sip from the bottle and then sits up straight in the tub. The cameraman braces for the worst, then breathes a sigh of relief when he sees the WCF World Title is hiding Price's dick from view. You know the dick we're talking about. It's the dick that's more over than The Family. And if you didn't know that, where were you last week when he was screaming about it?
Jayson Price: "Oh cameraman in the shadows, why must you stand over there in silence? Are you shy to be in my presence? Come. Come here and speak with your World Champion."
Cameraman: "Just how wasted are you?"
Jayson Price: "That depends on your definition of wasted."
Cameraman: "You're bathing in chocolate sauce and singing love songs to yourself."
Jayson Price: "Some might say that's the most tame thing I've done this week."
Cameraman: "Well it's probably the creepiest."
Jayson Price: "Would you rather I sing songs to you, cameraman? Shall I serenade thee?"
Cameraman: "For the love of God, no. I'm begging you."
Jayson Price: "But then who shall I sing to? WHO I ASK?!"
Cameraman: "I don't know. Sing to Corey Black, you drunk, sick bastard. That'll be entertaining at least."
Jayson Price: "Oh no, I shant sing to the Black Hearted One. No, instead I shall recite a poem I've written just now."
Cameraman: "Oh god. I was kidding."
Jayson Price: "Shh, I need silence."
Price clears his throat and then places his free, chocolate covered hand over his chocolate covered chest as he stares into the mirror above him.
Jayson Price: "My dearest frenemy, the man called Black,
I ask of you to finally cut me just a little bit of slack.
I know I broke your arm and most likely even your heart
but you were always my friend, going way back to my start.
We've had our fights, our ups and our downs.
When I think of our hate filled argument, in tears my heart drowns.
But think of the good times, the laughs that we shared.
For all our misunderstanding, I want you to know that I cared.
For you were my inspiration, my one true muse.
Why couldn't we just stop fighting and go on a cruise?
We could have basked in the sun and fucked some whores,
But instead in the ring we fought so may wars.
And I-"
Cameraman: "Okay, no. For fucks sake, just stop. I'm begging you."
Jayson Price: "What? I was getting on a roll!"
Cameraman: "That was shit. Just shit."
Jayson Price: "Well fuck you, I'm hammered!"
Cameraman: "Your rhyming started to sound like Dr. Seuss after he downed a bottle of sleeping pills."
Jayson Price: "Go read Cat In The Hat and tell me that's not exactly what he was doing."
Cameraman: "Touche. But still, you're a fucking terrible poet."
Jayson Price: "Yeah. But at least I've got this!"
Price stands up, having unhooked the World Title, baring his chocolate dipped penis to the world.
Jayson Price: "HAPPY VALENTINES DAY YOU MOTHER FUCKERS!"
This scene fades to black.
Valentines Day
Jayson Price's Bathroom
Jayson Price's Apartment
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
2:00AM
Jayson Price: "I don't want anybody else, when I think about you, I touch myself. Ooh, I don't want anybody else
Oh no, oh no, oh no."
As the scene fades in slowly, we can hear the sounds of Jayson Price belting out Divinyls "I Touch Myself".
Jayson Price: "I close my eyes and see you before me. Think I would die if you were to ignore me. A fool could see just how much I adore you. I'd get down on my knees, I'd do anything for you."
The scene comes fully into focus and the camera is in Price's bedroom, pointed at a slowly ajar door that is the lone thing shielding our eyes from what is on the other side. Against all better judgement, the cameraman moves forward and pushes the door open. Inside, Jayson Price is laying in a bathtub full of chocolate syrup, staring up at the ceiling where a full length mirror is hanging, giving him a front row show to his own debauchery.
Jayson Price: "I love myself, I want you to love me. When I feel down, I want you above me. I search myself, I want you to find me. I forget myself, I want you to remind me. I don't want anybody else. When I think about you, I touch myself. Ooh, I don't want anybody else. Oh no, oh no, oh no."
As he sings his terrifyingly seductive version of the song, we can see Price's hand moving about the chocolate syrup in the tub, no doubt committing unspeakable acts. His other hand is gripped around a bottle of Jack Daniels, from which he takes sips between verses. He stops singing as he holds the bottle in front of his face, staring at it lovingly.
Jayson Price: "Oh yes, beautiful, for it is you that I truly love. My darling. My muse. My everything. Lady Daniels, won't you be mine on this most meaningful of days?"
A single tear is shed as Price waits, once again, for an answer that will never come.
Jayson Price: "One day, my love. One day you will be mine and we will be one."
Price takes a lengthy sip from the bottle and then sits up straight in the tub. The cameraman braces for the worst, then breathes a sigh of relief when he sees the WCF World Title is hiding Price's dick from view. You know the dick we're talking about. It's the dick that's more over than The Family. And if you didn't know that, where were you last week when he was screaming about it?
Jayson Price: "Oh cameraman in the shadows, why must you stand over there in silence? Are you shy to be in my presence? Come. Come here and speak with your World Champion."
Cameraman: "Just how wasted are you?"
Jayson Price: "That depends on your definition of wasted."
Cameraman: "You're bathing in chocolate sauce and singing love songs to yourself."
Jayson Price: "Some might say that's the most tame thing I've done this week."
Cameraman: "Well it's probably the creepiest."
Jayson Price: "Would you rather I sing songs to you, cameraman? Shall I serenade thee?"
Cameraman: "For the love of God, no. I'm begging you."
Jayson Price: "But then who shall I sing to? WHO I ASK?!"
Cameraman: "I don't know. Sing to Corey Black, you drunk, sick bastard. That'll be entertaining at least."
Jayson Price: "Oh no, I shant sing to the Black Hearted One. No, instead I shall recite a poem I've written just now."
Cameraman: "Oh god. I was kidding."
Jayson Price: "Shh, I need silence."
Price clears his throat and then places his free, chocolate covered hand over his chocolate covered chest as he stares into the mirror above him.
Jayson Price: "My dearest frenemy, the man called Black,
I ask of you to finally cut me just a little bit of slack.
I know I broke your arm and most likely even your heart
but you were always my friend, going way back to my start.
We've had our fights, our ups and our downs.
When I think of our hate filled argument, in tears my heart drowns.
But think of the good times, the laughs that we shared.
For all our misunderstanding, I want you to know that I cared.
For you were my inspiration, my one true muse.
Why couldn't we just stop fighting and go on a cruise?
We could have basked in the sun and fucked some whores,
But instead in the ring we fought so may wars.
And I-"
Cameraman: "Okay, no. For fucks sake, just stop. I'm begging you."
Jayson Price: "What? I was getting on a roll!"
Cameraman: "That was shit. Just shit."
Jayson Price: "Well fuck you, I'm hammered!"
Cameraman: "Your rhyming started to sound like Dr. Seuss after he downed a bottle of sleeping pills."
Jayson Price: "Go read Cat In The Hat and tell me that's not exactly what he was doing."
Cameraman: "Touche. But still, you're a fucking terrible poet."
Jayson Price: "Yeah. But at least I've got this!"
Price stands up, having unhooked the World Title, baring his chocolate dipped penis to the world.
Jayson Price: "HAPPY VALENTINES DAY YOU MOTHER FUCKERS!"
This scene fades to black.
