Post by Davey Ortega on Jul 18, 2007 8:15:41 GMT -5
*The screen comes to life in black and white. Like a fifties television show. No color is seen at all. There is a ring in the center of this room, a man approaches it. His hair is slicked back, and he is in a suit. Looks like he would be more at home with June Cleaver than in a ring. He enters the ring and takes a microphone out from his back pocket*
Man: Ladies and Gentleman, tonight everything will become clear and black and white. There will be no more confusion, or misinterpretations. So, with out any ado what so ever, here is a the man who will walk into Slam next week in his first singles competition in over a year. He is a former KWA Tag Team Champion, a former XCW World Champion, he is the former General Manager of WCF Slam, and the former owner of the WCF. He is, Davey ''The GM'' Ortega!
*Smooth Criminal hits by AAF, and Davey Ortega comes down to the ring. Though, there are no cheers, or jeers. The arena is completely empty as according to WCF rules. Since Davey despises most untelevised events, he decided to mock up a Slam event. Only leaving out the most important thing..fans. He walks down to the ring with confidence, and is dressed in a beautifully tailored suit. Or what we can make out since there is no color and lack of definition. Davey gets into the ring and smiles. He waves to the empty seats, and extends his hand to the man. The man accepts it as they shake. Davey produces a mic of his own, because he's Davey Ortega and can.*
Davey: Ladies and Gentleman, welcome to Sunday Slam!
*He raises his hands up in the air and smiles and nods in appreciation, the man looks around.*
Man: There are no fans here.
Davey: I know, they would of just ruined the moment. All they do is cheer for whomever sucks up to then, letting great talent slide by. I decided not even open this event to the public.
Man: This also isn't Slam.
Davey: Your perception is impeccable. I am aware this isn't Sunday Slam, this is better than Sunday Slam.
Man: This isn't Thirteen (XIII)
Davey: No, this isn't. I will address that deplorable show in a minute. If you will shut up I will tell you what this is.
Man: OK..what is it?
Davey: Well, this is a ring. Those are chairs, and it's all in an arena. This has no name, it's just a generic make up. You see lately I have been seeing a lot of things that I have already seen. Nightmare Chambers, people coming back, people saying everything that everyone has already heard. I mean, it's like WCF hit a time warp.
*All of a sudden ''Time Warp'' from the Rocky Horror Picture Show starts playing. Davey and the man look around, not to sure what the hell is happening. After a about fifty-five seconds it stops. And they both look at each other. Davey gives a sly smile.*
The man: What was that?
Davey: Are you kidding? That was ''Time Warp.'' You know, ''it's just a jump the left, and then a step to the right.''
The man: I know the song, but why did I start playing?
Davey: Too illustrate my second point.
The man: WHAT?! What was your first one. AND WHY THE HELL IS THERE NO COLOR?!?!
Davey: Calm down. Jesus tap dancing Christ, you don't get it? Fine I will spell it out for you. My first point is that half of the roster here, has become so generic. I mean, they talk about the same thing week in and week out.
The man: Examples?
Davey: Oh OK. TXO, Lance Ryan, and Creeping Death among others. I mean, let us examine Lance Ryan's weak ass attempt at a promo.
*Davey clears his throat.*
Davey: ''I'm Lance Ryan, I'm THE People's Champion. I have to fight the same guy every week when I decide to show up for an event. I have no creativity, and I have no idea how i became THE People's Champion.'' Boring. Yes Lance we know you have to fight Anderson, who seems to lack any sign that he actually cares he is here as well. Though may I be the first to say, no one cares. No one cares who you are, what skanky hotel room you rented waiting for you're two dollar whore. You also seem to lack intelligence. You talk about a tag team match...what tag team match? You are not in one, you are in a fatal four way. Now, I'm not sure if you can wrap your absent mind around the fact that there is no partners in fatal four ways. Though if you can, do it.
Then there is TXO, Rich whatever. I can not remember how to pronounce his last name so I guess I will stick with calling him TXO. Now, I am going to do something different for him. Me and him, well, we haven't truly gotten along at all. I mean, I constantly bring up the fact he went on a date with a nurse, and he constantly says his wife knew. Which is true, his wife was well aware of this. So, logically, he is an adulator and she is a whore.
Man: Can you say whore?
Davey: Sure. Watch. Whore, fuck, shit, balls, tacos, nachos, hell, damn, god damn, BOB SAGET!!
I can just write it off as turrets.
Man: You have turrets?
Davey: Shut up. I'm not here to discuss medical terms anyways, I am here..wait why am I telling you? Anyways, I stated I was going to do something different. I am going to commend him. Thats right. I am going to congratulate him on his recent promo. That...was the worst piece of shit I have ever heard. He mentioned at the end on how our ''lives would be a lived a little shorter'' I don't have to wait for Slam, I think I actually died a little just watching that. No seriously, I think I lost some IQ points. It was that mind numbingly painful. I don't even want to take the time to discuss that, but I will because if I don't I fear he may do another exactly like it.
Alright, first of all. Welcome back from Tokyo, like no one actually knew you were there. Though thank you for making it a public display that you were. Then you go and make your wife, Jess, the newest member of the Red River Mafia. Well great, another useless person getting undeserved television time. What is she going to do for you? I highly doubt she will hop into the ring and save your ass, I don't think she is going to cause much of a distraction being that of her..erm..loose morals and all. So congratulations, on bringing another person here who has no grounds for being here other than she is the wife of you. I mean, I'm so glad I am part of a company that has standards. Then comes my favorite part, you..saying you underestimated us. You actually made a valid point, I'm impressed. You did take us lightly, and I admit we did come up short. Though I blame the quick count personally, I mean even you HAVE to admit it was a little unfair. Though that won't happen on Sunday, I am assured. No no, this Sunday there will be no quick roll ups, or quick counts. I can not allow it. I can not allow myself to loose this time around. I am relying on my own talents, not anyone else's, but my own. Most people don't know much about my athletic background, but trust me I do have an outstanding one. I'm not going to go into details because I do not like living in the past, unlike some people I know. So, with that being said let us move on shall we? You say you are my superior, that I should recognize you as all powerful? Please, spare me the power trip. I have seen it all before, and better people than you have told me how inferior I am to them. I bow to no man, only to a Higher Calling.
Man: God?
Davey: Hell no, my own intelligence. That is the only thing that supersedes me.
Man: How can something that is yours supersede...um..you?
Davey: Exactly. It can't, it means I bow to man, especially someone like TXO. To some brute who keeps kicking a dead dog. Yes, You beat us last week, yes..you beat us awhile ago. Get some new material. We all aware of what happened. If you can not come up with anything more interesting then just stop trying you incompetent moron! I am not even going to comment on what you said about Outcast. I'm going to let Outcast do that.
Man: Well, if your done with TXO, what about CD?
Davey: What about CD? I'm not facing CD. So why do I need to talk about him?
Man: You said he was an example of generic.
Davey: He is, he is the measuring stick of generic. Though he is World Champion, he has to be doing something right, right?
Man: I guess. Kind of anti-climatic. OK then, what about randomness?
Davey: Only one prominent name pops up when you think Random Promos. Do you know what name that is?
Man: Ummm...Jack of Blades?
Davey: Close...actually. No, it is none other than former World Champion, Skyler Striker.
Man: Wait a minute, your going to bad mouth Striker, but not CD? Kind of hypocritacle...
Davey: No, no. I am not going to bad mouth Striker. You can not really bad mouth someone like Skyler Striker. The man ripped through this company in a fiery fury. No, no. I am simply going to use his recent promos as examples in what I've seen here lately. Just a bunch of random clips that have no bearings what so ever. Like,. JoBs, Bobby Cairo's, and Logan's. Just a bunch of gibberish strung together leaving you wondering what the hell they were talking about.
Skyler, listen to me. Just listen. I watched your promos, your interviews, whatever you want to call them. I could not follow what the hell was going on. One minute your doing this, then your in a coma? I think. I'm not to sure. You lost your WCF title due to one fact, from what I gathered. You know why? It is because you lost your heart. I understand how important your family is to you, but if it means compromising your stay here in the WCF, then get the hell out. I may sound cold, and heartless, but no one wants to hear about Skyler Strikers family issues. I know I don't give a damn, I'm sure others feel the same way. I hope Jade is recording this on the opponent thing, I do. And if she is.
*Flips the finger at it.*
Where ever it is, thats from me. Davey Ortega. The man, who to this day, you still haven't beat. We may have only had one match but hey, you still lost and my name is right there with the victors.
Man: You said you would also address Thirteen (IIIX)
Davey: You know I can't believe what I saw. I didn't even know Outcast went there, but there he was. Plan as day. Talking to Creeping Death, encouraging him to take the title from Striker. Then, after CDs miraculous win, he is the first to stand up and CHEER for him?!?! Then, I catch Tortures promo, and the first thing I hear is him...talking to Outcast?!
Outcast, you have until Slam to explain yourself. To explain why you were at Thirteen (IIIX), why you were talking to Torture. Why I have a feeling NCW will not even make it to Aftermath. Explain yourself, just once...
Man: Any final words?
Davey: Of course. Though let me, illuminate things here.
*Davey snaps his fingers and colors flourish.*
Man: Nice trick.
Davey: Thank you. The black and white was kind of depressing me.
Man: I agree.
Davey: This Sunday, will be my first singles competition in a year, as aforementioned. This Sunday will also be my first singles victory in a year. I am ecstatic about it. I await my competition this Sunday, because I am Davey..The Gen...
Man: The General Manager!!
Davey: What? General..what? I haven't been the General Manager of Slam for like three years. Please tell me thats not what you though ''GM'' stood for.
Man: Actually yeah, everyone did.
Davey: I see, you people truly are...idiots. No no, I am Davey..The Genius Macrobian..Ortega.
Man: Macrobian?
Davey: It means Long Lived.
Man: The Genius Long Lived?
Davey: All hail.
*Scene slowly fades out.*
Man: Ladies and Gentleman, tonight everything will become clear and black and white. There will be no more confusion, or misinterpretations. So, with out any ado what so ever, here is a the man who will walk into Slam next week in his first singles competition in over a year. He is a former KWA Tag Team Champion, a former XCW World Champion, he is the former General Manager of WCF Slam, and the former owner of the WCF. He is, Davey ''The GM'' Ortega!
*Smooth Criminal hits by AAF, and Davey Ortega comes down to the ring. Though, there are no cheers, or jeers. The arena is completely empty as according to WCF rules. Since Davey despises most untelevised events, he decided to mock up a Slam event. Only leaving out the most important thing..fans. He walks down to the ring with confidence, and is dressed in a beautifully tailored suit. Or what we can make out since there is no color and lack of definition. Davey gets into the ring and smiles. He waves to the empty seats, and extends his hand to the man. The man accepts it as they shake. Davey produces a mic of his own, because he's Davey Ortega and can.*
Davey: Ladies and Gentleman, welcome to Sunday Slam!
*He raises his hands up in the air and smiles and nods in appreciation, the man looks around.*
Man: There are no fans here.
Davey: I know, they would of just ruined the moment. All they do is cheer for whomever sucks up to then, letting great talent slide by. I decided not even open this event to the public.
Man: This also isn't Slam.
Davey: Your perception is impeccable. I am aware this isn't Sunday Slam, this is better than Sunday Slam.
Man: This isn't Thirteen (XIII)
Davey: No, this isn't. I will address that deplorable show in a minute. If you will shut up I will tell you what this is.
Man: OK..what is it?
Davey: Well, this is a ring. Those are chairs, and it's all in an arena. This has no name, it's just a generic make up. You see lately I have been seeing a lot of things that I have already seen. Nightmare Chambers, people coming back, people saying everything that everyone has already heard. I mean, it's like WCF hit a time warp.
*All of a sudden ''Time Warp'' from the Rocky Horror Picture Show starts playing. Davey and the man look around, not to sure what the hell is happening. After a about fifty-five seconds it stops. And they both look at each other. Davey gives a sly smile.*
The man: What was that?
Davey: Are you kidding? That was ''Time Warp.'' You know, ''it's just a jump the left, and then a step to the right.''
The man: I know the song, but why did I start playing?
Davey: Too illustrate my second point.
The man: WHAT?! What was your first one. AND WHY THE HELL IS THERE NO COLOR?!?!
Davey: Calm down. Jesus tap dancing Christ, you don't get it? Fine I will spell it out for you. My first point is that half of the roster here, has become so generic. I mean, they talk about the same thing week in and week out.
The man: Examples?
Davey: Oh OK. TXO, Lance Ryan, and Creeping Death among others. I mean, let us examine Lance Ryan's weak ass attempt at a promo.
*Davey clears his throat.*
Davey: ''I'm Lance Ryan, I'm THE People's Champion. I have to fight the same guy every week when I decide to show up for an event. I have no creativity, and I have no idea how i became THE People's Champion.'' Boring. Yes Lance we know you have to fight Anderson, who seems to lack any sign that he actually cares he is here as well. Though may I be the first to say, no one cares. No one cares who you are, what skanky hotel room you rented waiting for you're two dollar whore. You also seem to lack intelligence. You talk about a tag team match...what tag team match? You are not in one, you are in a fatal four way. Now, I'm not sure if you can wrap your absent mind around the fact that there is no partners in fatal four ways. Though if you can, do it.
Then there is TXO, Rich whatever. I can not remember how to pronounce his last name so I guess I will stick with calling him TXO. Now, I am going to do something different for him. Me and him, well, we haven't truly gotten along at all. I mean, I constantly bring up the fact he went on a date with a nurse, and he constantly says his wife knew. Which is true, his wife was well aware of this. So, logically, he is an adulator and she is a whore.
Man: Can you say whore?
Davey: Sure. Watch. Whore, fuck, shit, balls, tacos, nachos, hell, damn, god damn, BOB SAGET!!
I can just write it off as turrets.
Man: You have turrets?
Davey: Shut up. I'm not here to discuss medical terms anyways, I am here..wait why am I telling you? Anyways, I stated I was going to do something different. I am going to commend him. Thats right. I am going to congratulate him on his recent promo. That...was the worst piece of shit I have ever heard. He mentioned at the end on how our ''lives would be a lived a little shorter'' I don't have to wait for Slam, I think I actually died a little just watching that. No seriously, I think I lost some IQ points. It was that mind numbingly painful. I don't even want to take the time to discuss that, but I will because if I don't I fear he may do another exactly like it.
Alright, first of all. Welcome back from Tokyo, like no one actually knew you were there. Though thank you for making it a public display that you were. Then you go and make your wife, Jess, the newest member of the Red River Mafia. Well great, another useless person getting undeserved television time. What is she going to do for you? I highly doubt she will hop into the ring and save your ass, I don't think she is going to cause much of a distraction being that of her..erm..loose morals and all. So congratulations, on bringing another person here who has no grounds for being here other than she is the wife of you. I mean, I'm so glad I am part of a company that has standards. Then comes my favorite part, you..saying you underestimated us. You actually made a valid point, I'm impressed. You did take us lightly, and I admit we did come up short. Though I blame the quick count personally, I mean even you HAVE to admit it was a little unfair. Though that won't happen on Sunday, I am assured. No no, this Sunday there will be no quick roll ups, or quick counts. I can not allow it. I can not allow myself to loose this time around. I am relying on my own talents, not anyone else's, but my own. Most people don't know much about my athletic background, but trust me I do have an outstanding one. I'm not going to go into details because I do not like living in the past, unlike some people I know. So, with that being said let us move on shall we? You say you are my superior, that I should recognize you as all powerful? Please, spare me the power trip. I have seen it all before, and better people than you have told me how inferior I am to them. I bow to no man, only to a Higher Calling.
Man: God?
Davey: Hell no, my own intelligence. That is the only thing that supersedes me.
Man: How can something that is yours supersede...um..you?
Davey: Exactly. It can't, it means I bow to man, especially someone like TXO. To some brute who keeps kicking a dead dog. Yes, You beat us last week, yes..you beat us awhile ago. Get some new material. We all aware of what happened. If you can not come up with anything more interesting then just stop trying you incompetent moron! I am not even going to comment on what you said about Outcast. I'm going to let Outcast do that.
Man: Well, if your done with TXO, what about CD?
Davey: What about CD? I'm not facing CD. So why do I need to talk about him?
Man: You said he was an example of generic.
Davey: He is, he is the measuring stick of generic. Though he is World Champion, he has to be doing something right, right?
Man: I guess. Kind of anti-climatic. OK then, what about randomness?
Davey: Only one prominent name pops up when you think Random Promos. Do you know what name that is?
Man: Ummm...Jack of Blades?
Davey: Close...actually. No, it is none other than former World Champion, Skyler Striker.
Man: Wait a minute, your going to bad mouth Striker, but not CD? Kind of hypocritacle...
Davey: No, no. I am not going to bad mouth Striker. You can not really bad mouth someone like Skyler Striker. The man ripped through this company in a fiery fury. No, no. I am simply going to use his recent promos as examples in what I've seen here lately. Just a bunch of random clips that have no bearings what so ever. Like,. JoBs, Bobby Cairo's, and Logan's. Just a bunch of gibberish strung together leaving you wondering what the hell they were talking about.
Skyler, listen to me. Just listen. I watched your promos, your interviews, whatever you want to call them. I could not follow what the hell was going on. One minute your doing this, then your in a coma? I think. I'm not to sure. You lost your WCF title due to one fact, from what I gathered. You know why? It is because you lost your heart. I understand how important your family is to you, but if it means compromising your stay here in the WCF, then get the hell out. I may sound cold, and heartless, but no one wants to hear about Skyler Strikers family issues. I know I don't give a damn, I'm sure others feel the same way. I hope Jade is recording this on the opponent thing, I do. And if she is.
*Flips the finger at it.*
Where ever it is, thats from me. Davey Ortega. The man, who to this day, you still haven't beat. We may have only had one match but hey, you still lost and my name is right there with the victors.
Man: You said you would also address Thirteen (IIIX)
Davey: You know I can't believe what I saw. I didn't even know Outcast went there, but there he was. Plan as day. Talking to Creeping Death, encouraging him to take the title from Striker. Then, after CDs miraculous win, he is the first to stand up and CHEER for him?!?! Then, I catch Tortures promo, and the first thing I hear is him...talking to Outcast?!
Outcast, you have until Slam to explain yourself. To explain why you were at Thirteen (IIIX), why you were talking to Torture. Why I have a feeling NCW will not even make it to Aftermath. Explain yourself, just once...
Man: Any final words?
Davey: Of course. Though let me, illuminate things here.
*Davey snaps his fingers and colors flourish.*
Man: Nice trick.
Davey: Thank you. The black and white was kind of depressing me.
Man: I agree.
Davey: This Sunday, will be my first singles competition in a year, as aforementioned. This Sunday will also be my first singles victory in a year. I am ecstatic about it. I await my competition this Sunday, because I am Davey..The Gen...
Man: The General Manager!!
Davey: What? General..what? I haven't been the General Manager of Slam for like three years. Please tell me thats not what you though ''GM'' stood for.
Man: Actually yeah, everyone did.
Davey: I see, you people truly are...idiots. No no, I am Davey..The Genius Macrobian..Ortega.
Man: Macrobian?
Davey: It means Long Lived.
Man: The Genius Long Lived?
Davey: All hail.
*Scene slowly fades out.*
