Post by Jack of Blades on Oct 19, 2006 8:49:37 GMT -5
(From the files of Jack of Blades, Lt. Mjr,)
Target Alias:
David Alastair
Real Name (If Known):
Alistair David (possibly)
Image(s):
(This probably does not portray Alastair in the best light. See Figure 2. for improved reconnaissance pictures.)
Preferred Pet Names:
-The Wrestler Of Two Holds: Stun and Kill,
-Ghoul The Dogfaced Boy
Starring Roles:
-Gigli
-David Alistair's A Space Oddity
Target History:
The details ofmy David Alastair's life are quite inconsequential.... Very well, where do I begin? My His father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My His mother was a 15-year-old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My His father would womanize; he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes, he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament... My David Alastair's childhood was typical: summers in Rangoon... luge lessons... In the spring, we'd make meat helmets... When I he was insolent I he was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds — pretty standard, really. At the age of 12, I Alistair received my first scribe. At the age of 14, a Zoroastrian named Wilma ritualistically shaved my his testicles — there really is nothing like a shorn scrotum — it's quite breathtaking... I suggest you try it.
Known Allies:
-Benjamin Franklin
-Franklin Benjamin
Known Enemies:
-Benedict Arnold
-Arnold Benedict
Special Abilities or Talents:
-Has as much variety in terms of personality as bleached bone.
Unconfirmed Rumours:
-Contact with David is a powerful diuretic. Confirmed: True. Refer back to Figure 1.
-David is the son of Peter Schaffer. Confirmed: Unknown. I DON'T KNOW!
Additional Notes:
1 L33T U 1n Un43al 2ou4ny!
Rating:
5/10 as David Alistair. 10/5 as Alistair David.
Target Alias:
David Alastair
Real Name (If Known):
Alistair David (possibly)
Image(s):
(This probably does not portray Alastair in the best light. See Figure 2. for improved reconnaissance pictures.)
Preferred Pet Names:
-The Wrestler Of Two Holds: Stun and Kill,
-Ghoul The Dogfaced Boy
Starring Roles:
-Gigli
-David Alistair's A Space Oddity
Target History:
The details of
Known Allies:
-Benjamin Franklin
-Franklin Benjamin
Known Enemies:
-Benedict Arnold
-Arnold Benedict
Special Abilities or Talents:
-Has as much variety in terms of personality as bleached bone.
Unconfirmed Rumours:
-Contact with David is a powerful diuretic. Confirmed: True. Refer back to Figure 1.
-David is the son of Peter Schaffer. Confirmed: Unknown. I DON'T KNOW!
Additional Notes:
1 L33T U 1n Un43al 2ou4ny!
Rating:
5/10 as David Alistair. 10/5 as Alistair David.
