My Dick Is More Over Than The Family Is
Feb 7, 2016 17:59:40 GMT -5
Steve Orbit, Stuart Slane, and 4 more like this
Post by Jayson Price on Feb 7, 2016 17:59:40 GMT -5
January 31st, 2016
Fifteen PPV
Wells Fargo Center
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
11:00PM
The scene opens up on a flashback to the end of the main event at Fifteen.
Seemingly utilizing a sixth sense, Price sidesteps - and escaping Wade Moor, who was running at him! Wade Moor is already in motion, and he hits a BROSEIDON PUNCH to Seth Lerch, sending Seth flying off the apron and into the guardrail! Before Wade can even react, he is spun around.
Zach Davis: DOWNFALL! JAYSON PRICE HITS IT!
The crowd can't help themselves but pop as Jayson Price pins Wade Moor in the middle of the ring.
ONE.
TWO.
THREE.
Gravedigger: ...
Freddy Whoa: What a fucking night.
Zach Davis: JAYSON PRICE WINS THE WORLD TITLE!
The bell sounds.
Gravedigger: This is ridiculous.
"Nightmare" by Avenged Sevenfold hits.
Freddy Whoa: Finally.... after all of these years. After over five years of fighting, scraping and clawing.... Jayson Price has won the WCF World Heavyweight Title. Not only on a WCF show, but on WCF's biggest show of all time.
Jayson Price is handed the World Title, and he can barely believe it. Outside the ring, Seth is barely conscious, but he's looking up to see Price holding the World Title up; the sight alone causes Seth to pass the fuck out.
Price heads for the nearest corner and climbs up to the second rope, the World Title still in the air. He points out to the crowd and then to the belt. This one was for Philadelphia. A city so god damn starved for a champion finally has one again. WCF officials and medics run out to attend to Seth Lerch and the Beach Krew members laid out at ringside as pyro explodes from the stage. Confetti begins to fall from the rafters as Price hops back down to the mat.
Crowd: YOU DESERVE IT!
As the crowd shows their appreciation for the new World Champion, Price can only nod to them as he stands in the middle of the ring. Finally, after the last of the confetti has fallen and the crowd begins to file out of the arena, Price heads to the ropes and leaves the ring. Medics have Seth sitting up at ringside and Price stops in front of him.
Jayson Price: "It looks good on me, doesn't it?"
Seth lets out a pained scream and falls backward into a medic's arms, sobbing. Price laughs and continues up the ramp, slapping a few outstretched hands from the fans still waiting around.
Jayson Price: "Go home already! Make sure to send out tweets with #SethLOLchLost."
After granting a fan's request for a picture, Price gives the crowd one last wave and then heads up the ramp before disappearing into the back. Just as they were in 2012, there's a crowd of wrestlers waiting for Price to emerge. They break out in applause and there's fist bumps galore as Price throws the World Title over his shoulder.
Jayson Price: "I couldn't have done any of this without you guys. Oh wait, yes I could have."
There's laughter, followed by applause before the crowd disperses. All except for Corey Black, who stands with his arms crossed and leaning against a wall.
Jayson Price: "What? Still not impressed?"
Corey Black: "Talk to me if you still have that belt in March."
Black walks off and disappears around a corner.
Jayson Price: "A ray of sunshine as always."
Seth Lerch is led through the curtain on a stretcher as medics try to keep him awake.
Jayson Price: "Seth! Next week I'm thinking we celebrate. Streamers, confetti, maybe some strippers. Basically all the works because we need to make this big. Make that happen for me?"
Seth Lerch: "YOU'LL NEVER LAST AS WORLD CHAMPION! I'LL MAKE SURE OF IT GOD DAMN IT!"
The medics are forced to hold Seth down as they wheel him away.
Jayson Price: "So you'll get back to me? All right, thanks buddy."
Seth lets out an angry cry as he's pushed outside to a waiting ambulance. With everyone gone from the backstage area, Price is left alone in silence. He pats the gold on his shoulder and heads for his locker room, a smile on his face, as the scene fades out to black.
February 6th, 2016
Jayson Price's Apartment
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
11:45PM
Jayson Price: "So there I am and, I shit you not, this guy had to be at least twelve feet tall and like five or six hundred pounds."
As the scene fades in from the black screen, we hear Jayson Price's voice as he's in the middle of a story. As things come into focus, we see Price sitting in an armchair with the World Title resting on his lap. Cameraman Bob and Hank Brown are sitting on the couch across from him looking rather skeptical.
Jayson Price: "And he's standing there in front of me like 'You want a piece of me, punk?'. So what else could I do? I had to drop that mother fucker with a right hand."
Cameraman Bob: "You do realize that we were both at Fifteen, right? Why are you exaggerating the story?"
Jayson Price: "Hey, fuck you. As World Champion I get to do what I want with my stories."
Hank Brown: "But this isn't even a realistic story!"
Jayson Price: "I repeat, fuck you."
Hank Brown: "Seriously, is this why you asked for us to come over?"
Jayson Price: "No, I also wanted to show this off some more."
Price holds up the World Title and lets the light reflect off the gold.
Jayson Price: "See!"
Cameraman Bob: "We've seen it everyday since Fifteen, Jayson. You won't stop sending us pictures of it. Or Skyping us to show how shiny it is. Hell you called me at 3am yesterday just to tell me how cold it felt around your-"
Hank Brown: "Hey! Whoa! Yeah, I don't want to hear the end of that sentence."
Jayson Price: "It was around my waist, you pervert."
Hank Brown: "Well that's a relief."
Jayson Price: "And also around my penis."
Hank Brown: "God damn it!"
Jayson Price: "Well it wasn't so much 'around' my penis as it was just touching it. I mean, sure I've got a rather large cock, but not even my mighty member is big enough to-"
Hank Brown: "GOD DAMN IT!"
Jayson Price: "I'm sorry, did you have something to add to the discussion?"
Hank Brown: "Can we stop talking about your dick?"
Jayson Price: "But it's the elephant in the room!"
Cameraman Bob: "You have no idea what that expression means, do you?"
Jayson Price: "You mean it's not another way to talk about a large penis? You know, because it's like an elephant's trunk?"
Hank Brown: "No. No, it's not."
Jayson Price: "Well that's fucking stupid. What is supposed to mean then?"
Cameraman Bob: "It's a way of describing a topic that is on people's minds but nobody necessarily wants to talk about it."
Jayson Price: "Oh, so you mean like how Hank and I both know your wife is fucking Cameraman Stu, but we choose to not tell you about it?"
Cameraman Bob: "It's exactly like- WAIT WHAT?!"
Hank Brown: "Well apparently you don't know what 'tell him with compassion' means either."
Jayson Price: "No, I got that. But yeah, sorry Bob. Misses Cameraman has been waxing Stu's pole for, like, a year now."
Cameraman Bob: "Excuse me, I need to go make a phone call."
Bob gets up off the couch and walks off.
Hank Brown: "Smooth."
Jayson Price: "Are we back to talking about my penis?"
Hank Brown: "Not everything revolves around your penis!"
Jayson Price: "Well if it were any bigger I'm sure it would have it's own gravitational pull."
Hank lets his face drop into his hands as Price reaches off to the side to retrieve his drink.
Jayson Price: "What? Is it something I said?"
Hank Brown: "For fucks sake, can we just talk about something else?"
Jayson Price: "Like what?"
Hank Brown: "You have a match on Sunday. You're teaming with Steve Orbit against Sarah Twilight and Katherine Phoenix. Let's talk about that!"
Jayson Price: "Must we? Because I personally feel like just sitting back and watching the powder keg that is The Family self detonate on it's own. Logan's a fucking psychopath, Lilith or Phoenix or whatever she's going by these days has about as much sanity as a sack full of oranges and Twilight is...well she's fucking crazy enough to come back to WCF and join forces with Logan and Lilith, so what does that tell you?"
Hank Brown: "That she's probably the craziest of all three of them?"
Jayson Price: "Exactly! So why worry about this Sunday when they're likely going to off each other before the night is over?"
Hank Brown: "Speaking of Logan, he's got the Final Destination briefcase. Thoughts?"
Jayson Price: "Let him try cashing in on me. I'll drop him face first on his damn briefcase and then send him right back to whatever hot dog factory dumpster he's been living in."
Hank Brown: "But the whole idea of never knowing when he might cash in. That must have you on edge, right?"
Jayson Price: "Like I said, let the little meat tube guzzler try and cash in on me. I'm not afraid of Logan or his briefcase."
Hank Brown: "Well let me ask you this. How exactly are things between you and Orbit?"
Jayson Price: "What, are you asking if we're fucking or something? Get the fuck out of here with that shit.
Hank Brown: "No you idiot. You two are supposed to be teammates but at last check things hadn't been that great between you. Have you hashed things out? Are you on the same page for Sunday?"
Jayson Price: "We're fine. Let's just leave it at that."
Hank Brown: "You're seriously giving me nothing here."
Jayson Price: "You learn that line from your wife?"
Hank Brown: "Fuck you. What about the match against Flash at Timebomb?"
Jayson Price: "Now that...that is something entirely different. But let's not worry ourselves over things that are so far away. Let's live in the now. Let's celebrate our...I mean my success. You haven't done jack shit in years."
Price raises a glass to Hank and then takes a sip as the scene fades out to black.
February 7th, 2016
FedEx Forum
Memphis, Tennessee
3:00PM
The scene fades back in on the outside of the FedEx Forum in Memphis, Tennessee. A cab pulls up to the sidewalk in front of the arena and the rear door opens as Jayson Price steps out, the World Title draped over his shoulder. Price pulls some money from his pocket and hands it to the driver before slamming the door shut. The cab drives off as Price starts to walk toward the arena doors.
Jayson Price: How did I not see Seth cancelling my limousine coming?
Price shakes his head as he reaches for the handle to the entrance for wrestlers.
Voice: YO! BOUDLE!
Price turns around, fully expecting Logan to be waiting behind him, ready to cash in. Instead it's merely a drunk fan wearing a "Logan Is Bae" t-shirt.
Drunk Fan: "Logan is going to destroy you tonight, you bitch. Mister sixteen days is going to be mister seven days after tonight!"
Jayson Price: "Can't happen, Logan hasn't had a pair in years. Even if he tries tonight he'll end up as not only the first person to cash in, but also the first person to cash in and lose. Sully the good name of the Final Destination briefcase he will!"
The drunk fan starts to argue but instead falls over.
Jayson Price: "Let the mother fucker try."
The scene fades back out to black as Price pulls the door open and enters the arena.
Fifteen PPV
Wells Fargo Center
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
11:00PM
The scene opens up on a flashback to the end of the main event at Fifteen.
Seemingly utilizing a sixth sense, Price sidesteps - and escaping Wade Moor, who was running at him! Wade Moor is already in motion, and he hits a BROSEIDON PUNCH to Seth Lerch, sending Seth flying off the apron and into the guardrail! Before Wade can even react, he is spun around.
Zach Davis: DOWNFALL! JAYSON PRICE HITS IT!
The crowd can't help themselves but pop as Jayson Price pins Wade Moor in the middle of the ring.
ONE.
TWO.
THREE.
Gravedigger: ...
Freddy Whoa: What a fucking night.
Zach Davis: JAYSON PRICE WINS THE WORLD TITLE!
The bell sounds.
Gravedigger: This is ridiculous.
"Nightmare" by Avenged Sevenfold hits.
Freddy Whoa: Finally.... after all of these years. After over five years of fighting, scraping and clawing.... Jayson Price has won the WCF World Heavyweight Title. Not only on a WCF show, but on WCF's biggest show of all time.
Jayson Price is handed the World Title, and he can barely believe it. Outside the ring, Seth is barely conscious, but he's looking up to see Price holding the World Title up; the sight alone causes Seth to pass the fuck out.
Price heads for the nearest corner and climbs up to the second rope, the World Title still in the air. He points out to the crowd and then to the belt. This one was for Philadelphia. A city so god damn starved for a champion finally has one again. WCF officials and medics run out to attend to Seth Lerch and the Beach Krew members laid out at ringside as pyro explodes from the stage. Confetti begins to fall from the rafters as Price hops back down to the mat.
Crowd: YOU DESERVE IT!
As the crowd shows their appreciation for the new World Champion, Price can only nod to them as he stands in the middle of the ring. Finally, after the last of the confetti has fallen and the crowd begins to file out of the arena, Price heads to the ropes and leaves the ring. Medics have Seth sitting up at ringside and Price stops in front of him.
Jayson Price: "It looks good on me, doesn't it?"
Seth lets out a pained scream and falls backward into a medic's arms, sobbing. Price laughs and continues up the ramp, slapping a few outstretched hands from the fans still waiting around.
Jayson Price: "Go home already! Make sure to send out tweets with #SethLOLchLost."
After granting a fan's request for a picture, Price gives the crowd one last wave and then heads up the ramp before disappearing into the back. Just as they were in 2012, there's a crowd of wrestlers waiting for Price to emerge. They break out in applause and there's fist bumps galore as Price throws the World Title over his shoulder.
Jayson Price: "I couldn't have done any of this without you guys. Oh wait, yes I could have."
There's laughter, followed by applause before the crowd disperses. All except for Corey Black, who stands with his arms crossed and leaning against a wall.
Jayson Price: "What? Still not impressed?"
Corey Black: "Talk to me if you still have that belt in March."
Black walks off and disappears around a corner.
Jayson Price: "A ray of sunshine as always."
Seth Lerch is led through the curtain on a stretcher as medics try to keep him awake.
Jayson Price: "Seth! Next week I'm thinking we celebrate. Streamers, confetti, maybe some strippers. Basically all the works because we need to make this big. Make that happen for me?"
Seth Lerch: "YOU'LL NEVER LAST AS WORLD CHAMPION! I'LL MAKE SURE OF IT GOD DAMN IT!"
The medics are forced to hold Seth down as they wheel him away.
Jayson Price: "So you'll get back to me? All right, thanks buddy."
Seth lets out an angry cry as he's pushed outside to a waiting ambulance. With everyone gone from the backstage area, Price is left alone in silence. He pats the gold on his shoulder and heads for his locker room, a smile on his face, as the scene fades out to black.
February 6th, 2016
Jayson Price's Apartment
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
11:45PM
Jayson Price: "So there I am and, I shit you not, this guy had to be at least twelve feet tall and like five or six hundred pounds."
As the scene fades in from the black screen, we hear Jayson Price's voice as he's in the middle of a story. As things come into focus, we see Price sitting in an armchair with the World Title resting on his lap. Cameraman Bob and Hank Brown are sitting on the couch across from him looking rather skeptical.
Jayson Price: "And he's standing there in front of me like 'You want a piece of me, punk?'. So what else could I do? I had to drop that mother fucker with a right hand."
Cameraman Bob: "You do realize that we were both at Fifteen, right? Why are you exaggerating the story?"
Jayson Price: "Hey, fuck you. As World Champion I get to do what I want with my stories."
Hank Brown: "But this isn't even a realistic story!"
Jayson Price: "I repeat, fuck you."
Hank Brown: "Seriously, is this why you asked for us to come over?"
Jayson Price: "No, I also wanted to show this off some more."
Price holds up the World Title and lets the light reflect off the gold.
Jayson Price: "See!"
Cameraman Bob: "We've seen it everyday since Fifteen, Jayson. You won't stop sending us pictures of it. Or Skyping us to show how shiny it is. Hell you called me at 3am yesterday just to tell me how cold it felt around your-"
Hank Brown: "Hey! Whoa! Yeah, I don't want to hear the end of that sentence."
Jayson Price: "It was around my waist, you pervert."
Hank Brown: "Well that's a relief."
Jayson Price: "And also around my penis."
Hank Brown: "God damn it!"
Jayson Price: "Well it wasn't so much 'around' my penis as it was just touching it. I mean, sure I've got a rather large cock, but not even my mighty member is big enough to-"
Hank Brown: "GOD DAMN IT!"
Jayson Price: "I'm sorry, did you have something to add to the discussion?"
Hank Brown: "Can we stop talking about your dick?"
Jayson Price: "But it's the elephant in the room!"
Cameraman Bob: "You have no idea what that expression means, do you?"
Jayson Price: "You mean it's not another way to talk about a large penis? You know, because it's like an elephant's trunk?"
Hank Brown: "No. No, it's not."
Jayson Price: "Well that's fucking stupid. What is supposed to mean then?"
Cameraman Bob: "It's a way of describing a topic that is on people's minds but nobody necessarily wants to talk about it."
Jayson Price: "Oh, so you mean like how Hank and I both know your wife is fucking Cameraman Stu, but we choose to not tell you about it?"
Cameraman Bob: "It's exactly like- WAIT WHAT?!"
Hank Brown: "Well apparently you don't know what 'tell him with compassion' means either."
Jayson Price: "No, I got that. But yeah, sorry Bob. Misses Cameraman has been waxing Stu's pole for, like, a year now."
Cameraman Bob: "Excuse me, I need to go make a phone call."
Bob gets up off the couch and walks off.
Hank Brown: "Smooth."
Jayson Price: "Are we back to talking about my penis?"
Hank Brown: "Not everything revolves around your penis!"
Jayson Price: "Well if it were any bigger I'm sure it would have it's own gravitational pull."
Hank lets his face drop into his hands as Price reaches off to the side to retrieve his drink.
Jayson Price: "What? Is it something I said?"
Hank Brown: "For fucks sake, can we just talk about something else?"
Jayson Price: "Like what?"
Hank Brown: "You have a match on Sunday. You're teaming with Steve Orbit against Sarah Twilight and Katherine Phoenix. Let's talk about that!"
Jayson Price: "Must we? Because I personally feel like just sitting back and watching the powder keg that is The Family self detonate on it's own. Logan's a fucking psychopath, Lilith or Phoenix or whatever she's going by these days has about as much sanity as a sack full of oranges and Twilight is...well she's fucking crazy enough to come back to WCF and join forces with Logan and Lilith, so what does that tell you?"
Hank Brown: "That she's probably the craziest of all three of them?"
Jayson Price: "Exactly! So why worry about this Sunday when they're likely going to off each other before the night is over?"
Hank Brown: "Speaking of Logan, he's got the Final Destination briefcase. Thoughts?"
Jayson Price: "Let him try cashing in on me. I'll drop him face first on his damn briefcase and then send him right back to whatever hot dog factory dumpster he's been living in."
Hank Brown: "But the whole idea of never knowing when he might cash in. That must have you on edge, right?"
Jayson Price: "Like I said, let the little meat tube guzzler try and cash in on me. I'm not afraid of Logan or his briefcase."
Hank Brown: "Well let me ask you this. How exactly are things between you and Orbit?"
Jayson Price: "What, are you asking if we're fucking or something? Get the fuck out of here with that shit.
Hank Brown: "No you idiot. You two are supposed to be teammates but at last check things hadn't been that great between you. Have you hashed things out? Are you on the same page for Sunday?"
Jayson Price: "We're fine. Let's just leave it at that."
Hank Brown: "You're seriously giving me nothing here."
Jayson Price: "You learn that line from your wife?"
Hank Brown: "Fuck you. What about the match against Flash at Timebomb?"
Jayson Price: "Now that...that is something entirely different. But let's not worry ourselves over things that are so far away. Let's live in the now. Let's celebrate our...I mean my success. You haven't done jack shit in years."
Price raises a glass to Hank and then takes a sip as the scene fades out to black.
February 7th, 2016
FedEx Forum
Memphis, Tennessee
3:00PM
The scene fades back in on the outside of the FedEx Forum in Memphis, Tennessee. A cab pulls up to the sidewalk in front of the arena and the rear door opens as Jayson Price steps out, the World Title draped over his shoulder. Price pulls some money from his pocket and hands it to the driver before slamming the door shut. The cab drives off as Price starts to walk toward the arena doors.
Jayson Price: How did I not see Seth cancelling my limousine coming?
Price shakes his head as he reaches for the handle to the entrance for wrestlers.
Voice: YO! BOUDLE!
Price turns around, fully expecting Logan to be waiting behind him, ready to cash in. Instead it's merely a drunk fan wearing a "Logan Is Bae" t-shirt.
Drunk Fan: "Logan is going to destroy you tonight, you bitch. Mister sixteen days is going to be mister seven days after tonight!"
Jayson Price: "Can't happen, Logan hasn't had a pair in years. Even if he tries tonight he'll end up as not only the first person to cash in, but also the first person to cash in and lose. Sully the good name of the Final Destination briefcase he will!"
The drunk fan starts to argue but instead falls over.
Jayson Price: "Let the mother fucker try."
The scene fades back out to black as Price pulls the door open and enters the arena.
