Post by Steve Orbit on Feb 7, 2016 14:47:46 GMT -5
FIFTEEN
Moments after the Final Destination match...
Gorilla position. The curtain is thrown aside as Steve Orbit steps through, heading towards the locker room. He winces with each step, stopping to catch his breath with every few steps.
Jesse Heenan approaches with her camera man in tow, catching Orbit while he is leaning against the wall, resting.
Jesse Heenan: Excuse me, Steve. I'm Jesse Heenan--
Steve Orbit: No shit, you were at my house last week.
Jesse Heenan: Can I get your thoughts on the ending of the Final Destination match?
Orbit pushes off the wall and continues walking, refusing to answer.
Jesse Heenan: Steve!
She watches him leave. Logan comes through the curtain with the briefcase, and she begins to chase after him. Back to Orbit, he rounds a corner and opens the door to the locker room. He steps through the doorway and is surprised to find his former friend, former rival Jayson Price inside, stretching. Orbit's eyes meet Price's-- Orbit turns around to leave, without a word. When he reaches the door--
Jayson Price: Steve!
Orbit spins around.
Steve Orbit: I'm not in the mood, Price. Keep your comments to yourself, you're the last one I'm about to take any shit from right now.
Price approaches Orbit, showing the palms of his hands.
Jayson Price: Slow down. I was just gonna say... you got robbed out there, man. Fucked up.
Orbit nods.
Steve Orbit: No shit. Fuckin' Seth. Mother fucker.
Jayson Price: If he'll do that to you, who knows what the fuck he's gonna do to me out there. The last thing he wants is for me is to win that World title. Obviously.
Steve Orbit: Shit... the way it's looking now, he might have Logan come out and cash that briefcase tonight. Should have seen it comin'-- Logan and Seth been in love for damn near fifteen years at this point.
Suddenly, a large roar from the crowd catches their attention. Orbit and Price turn towards a production monitor... and a look of shock crosses both of their faces.
Jayson Price: Oh HELL no.
Steve Orbit: ... mother fucker.
On the monitor, we see Sarah Twilight walking towards the ring. Orbit and Price watch in stunned silence. Orbit's jaw is wide open. Price stands with his arms crossed.
A few moments later, Price's jaw drops too. Logan and Twilight are shown standing together on the monitor.
"Logan: I'VE GOT THE BRIEFCASE, BOUDLES!"
The rage is seen building in both Price and Orbit.
Jayson Price: Oh, you gotta be fuckin' kidding me now.
Steve Orbit: What's the name of the group-- Land of the Lost?!
On the monitor, the segment is almost over.
Jayson Price: Damn. Sarah Twilight, back-- AGAIN. I really thought we'd seen the last of that fucking whore.
Steve Orbit: Tonight is just full of fuckin' surprises, ain't it.
Orbit turns towards Price.
Steve Orbit: You're up. You better get out there.
Jayson Price: Right.
Price begins to leave the locker room.
Steve Orbit: Hey Price.
Price turns around.
Steve Orbit: Good luck. Watch your back, for real.
Price nods and leaves the locker room. Orbit sits down on a bench and sighs. He begins to take off his boots and we fade out.
==
RITZ-CARLTON HOTEL - PHILLY
Orbit enters his King Suite. Just coming from the hotel gym, he's wearing a tank top and black Nike shorts, carrying a small gym bag. He drops the bag next to the bed and takes a seat on the edge. His usual Latina companion raises up from under the covers.
Latina: There was a call for you.
Steve Orbit: Yeah?
She points to a note pad on the table. He picks it up. He shakes his head.
Steve Orbit: THIS mother fucker.
Orbit picks up the phone and immediately begins dialing.
Steve Orbit: Yeah, Seth Lerch please. ... What you mean he's not there? He just called me within the last hour. ... Check under his desk, he's probably hidin' under there like usual. ... Aight. It's Steve Orbit, tell him to call me back. ... Thanks.
Orbit begins to scroll through his cellphone. He goes to his e-mail, where he finds the Slam card which is e-mailed to all talent on Monday mornings.
Steve Orbit: ... What the fuck?! Serious?!
Orbit jumps off the bed and begins pacing around.
Steve Orbit: I'm teaming with Price?! And this fuckin' bitch is in the main event?!
The girl raises up in the bed once again, covering her upper body with a sheet.
Latina: What is it, baby?
Orbit sits down next to her, clutching his phone.
Steve Orbit: Just... some bullshit. It ain't no big deal, just go back to sleep.
He scrolls through his phone again. He stares at the screen for a few moments, contemplating. Finally, he presses the screen and puts the phone to his ear.
Steve Orbit: ... Price, it's Steve. I dunno if you seen the card yet-- we need to talk, bruh. Call me when you get this message.
As he puts the phone down, it rings. He answers.
Steve Orbit: Yo. ... That's what I'm sayin', how is this bitch in the main event already!? ... Aight, look, that's besides the point. Me and you got some shit we need to straighten out before we even think about Twilight and KP. ... Shit, how 'bout right now? I ain't got shit to do today. ... Where you wanna meet, your Tower? ... What? Pantheon? ... Damn, I'm outta the loop. That's fucked up. ... Aight, I'm gettin' dressed and then I'm on the way. ... Yeah. Aight.
The call ends and Orbit puts the phone on the night stand. He stands up, stretches, and grabs one of his many suitcases. He throws it onto the bed and pops it open. Fade out.
==
DOWNTOWN PHILLY
About an hour later, Orbit arrives at a hole-in-the-wall dive bar somewhere downtown. He steps out of the cab, wearing a baby blue pinstripe suit and a feather in his hat, draped in gold and diamonds with 'gator boots. He tips the cab a hunnid and steps into the bar...
It's early afternoon. Most of the bar is retirees and blue collar guys. They all turn at once to see Orbit standing in the doorway in all of his pimped out glory. Orbit flashes a smile and nods towards the entire bar, making his way to the end of the bar where Jayson Price is already seated. Orbit sits on the stool next to Price.
Steve Orbit: You couldn't have picked somewhere better than this? Somewhere a little more... you know, nigga friendly?
Jayson Price: What, these guys? Don't worry about them.
The entire bar is still staring at Orbit, as the bartender approaches. Orbit pulls out his money clip and peels off some bills.
Steve Orbit: Hennessy on the rocks, and a couple rounds for everybody in here. The whole place.
The bartender happily takes the cash.
Jayson Price: That's one way to win 'em over.
Steve Orbit: Shit, you act like I never been in a room full of white people before. I know how to move.
Price nods his head. The bartender returns with Orbit's drink. Orbit clinks his glass with the vodka that Price has already in hand.
Steve Orbit: Good job on that World Title, bruh. I know how long you been tryin' to get that thing around your waist... even Seth couldn't stop you last night. Wish I could say the same.
Jayson Price: Yeah, it's been a long time coming.
Both men sip their drinks.
Steve Orbit: So... taggin' this week. It's been a while since we been on the same team.
Jayson Price: ... Yup.
They sip their drinks again. Awkward silence.
Jayson Price: Alright, look man. We were always cool, and then I fucked it up. You trusted me when we were in Pantheon, I took advantage of that trust because I wanted the World title.
Orbit nods.
Steve Orbit: Go on.
Jayson Price: It was just business, Steve. It's not like you've never stabbed anybody in the back before over business. We were cool, we were on the same side for a long time-- from Cryogenix to Pantheon, we had each other's backs. But once I got that pinfall in Trios, and won that title shot... you know how long I've wanted this World title, Steve. How long I've NEEDED to do this.
Steve Orbit: And what happened? You didn't take it from me. You couldn't. Sure, we beat the fuck outta each other 'til neither of us could stand, but let that be a lesson. Look at you now-- you went into the match with Wade, no bullshit, no mind games, and you whooped his ass, overcame Seth, overcame #BeachKrew and you finally got what you wanted. It's karma, bruh. You gotta stay on the right side of that shit.
Jayson Price: Karma?! I--
Steve Orbit: Just roll with it, man. We tryin' to get back on the same page.
Jayson Price: Fair enough. And the point is-- I'm sorry for superkicking you. I should have just shook your hand and faced you like a man.
Steve Orbit: Right on. I mean... with all that said, I know where you was comin' from. I knew it back then, too. You was hungry, Price, and you did what you thought you had to do. We've all made bad decisions, homie. So I forgive you. Just don't fuck with me like that again, man, I'm serious.
Orbit puts his hand out. Price shakes it.
Jayson Price: Now that I have the title, maybe it's me who should be worried about YOU.
Orbit flashes a big smile.
Steve Orbit: No comment.
Jayson Price: Hey, man-- whenever you're ready.
Orbit's smile fades as the two men lock eyes for another uncomfortable moment of silence. Orbit is the one to break the spell this time.
Steve Orbit: Honestly, we ain't even got time to worry about all that right now. What we need to be talkin' about is Slam on Sunday. Ding dong the bitch is BACK.
Jayson Price: What's there to talk about? Dude, both of them combined barely make up my weight. I just beat Wade Moor, I'm the fucking World Champion. You just went toe-to-toe with six of the company's best talents and you would have won if it wasn't for Seth screwing you... only to lead to he, himself being screwed, in true Seth fashion. The point is, we're two badass mofos. Sarah Twilight is the most overhyped wrestler in WCF history, and are we honestly taking Katherine Phoenix seriously? Come on, bro.
Orbit nods, sipping his drink.
Steve Orbit: I feel you, man, I do. But I know Sarah fuckin' Twilight. Remember, I know her well. We worked together for a long time-- I know what she's capable of, Price.
Price scoffs.
Jayson Price: What she's capable of? You mean bleeding and not dying? She's a fuckin' conniving little wench who should have stayed gone, and believe me, I am going to make that point very fucking clear to her on Sunday. Katherine Phoenix is more of an annoyance than a threat, but I'll crush her nonetheless.
Steve Orbit: You aren't at all worried? My man-- Logan has the briefcase. He's aligned himself with Twilight, KP and-- whoever else, I don't recognize any of the other "Family" members. What makes you think all of them won't take this opportunity to beat us down, six, seven on two or whatever it would be, only for Logan to cash in on your ass?
Price sips his drink, now with a look of concern.
Steve Orbit: You became World Champion at a strange time, homie. This is a whole new world out here. This briefcase... this anywhere, any time contract is throwin' a mother fuckin' wrench in the whole system. You gotta watch your back at all times, you know what I'm sayin'? I don't wanna see you go out like that, and I'ma do whatever I can to help you out on Sunday, but this is some shit you need to think about.
Price finishes his drink and calls for the bartender.
Jayson Price: Fuck Logan. Cashing in will be his Downfall, I can promise you that. I'm ready for him, I'm ready for Twilight, I'm ready for anything.
Steve Orbit: You sure that ain't the booze talkin'?
Both men laugh.
Jayson Price: Seriously though. I give "The Family" 'til the next Pay Per View, tops. An entire group of flakes-- people who can't even manage their own careers for any real period of time, but somehow they will survive as a group? I don't think so, Steve. This whole thing is a joke and it's going to be over as quick as it started.
Steve Orbit: Yeah, you probably right. Let's give 'em a welcome party AND a parting gift all wrapped in one magnificent loss to two of the baddest mother fuckers to ever step foot into WCF.
Jayson Price: I'll drink to that.
Their glasses clink once again and they take a long sip.
Steve Orbit: Tell you what, Price-- hangin' with you right now, it's bringin' back memories. We had some good times, you know what I'm sayin'... and I say we keep the good times rollin'. I'ma help you celebrate that World Title win. You down?
Price eyes Orbit.
Jayson Price: Down for what?
Orbit flashes a smile.
Steve Orbit: Just trust me. I know a place where there's gon' be TONS of bitches at. I'm talkin' like a hundred females to every male.
Jayson Price: Where's that?
Orbit continues to smile, nodding his head... fade out.
==
THE LILITH FAIR
Fade in to a huge music festival. There's a sea of women with butch haircuts, lots of peircings and tattoos, tank tops, basketball shorts-- some even have facial hair. It's truly a sight to behold-- and to one side, watching this sea of lesbian humanity, stand Steve Orbit and Jayson Price. Price is wearing a multi-colored dress shirt, and Orbit is in his usual pimp suit.
"COOOOME TO MY WINDDDOOOOWWWW", Melissa Etheridge sings and plays guitar on the main stage.
Steve Orbit: I told you there was a lot of bitches here, man.
Jayson Price: Hell yeah, bro. Mostly ugly chicks, but whatever. I'm almost there.
Price pulls out a flask and takes a sip.
Jayson Price: I dunno about this shirt, though.
Steve Orbit: Trust me. That's from my personal Steve Orbit pimp collection. See those little magnets on the buttons? Those are literal pussy magnets. You'll see.
Price takes another swig and passes the flask to Orbit, who swigs it down. Orbit coughs before handing it back to Price.
Steve Orbit: What the fuck is that?!
Price smiles.
Jayson Price: Some 'shine, bro.
Orbit screws up his face.
Steve Orbit: Fuckin' white people. Anyway, let's do this. There's bitches everywhere, we should be outta here in five minutes.
Price notices a young looking brunette-- she's skinny, trashy looking with bad make-up. Price points to her.
Jayson Price: What about her?
Steve Orbit: Bro, she looks like she's fifteen. Even I wouldn't go there.
Jayson Price: C'mon man, only one way to find out.
Orbit reluctantly follows Price over towards the girl.
Jayson Price: Hey baby. You wanna get outta here? I got a twelve incher.
Orbit clears his throat. Price nudges him.
Jayson Price: Ten, twelve, whatever. Only one way to find out, sweet thing.
The girl is clearly interested. She clearly loves the cock. BUT THEN--
A thin red-headed witch swoops down from the skies, flying on her broom. She lands right in between Price and the brunette. She is a ginger with red hair and a face that looks like she might have Down's syndrome (not that people who have Down's syndrome aren't beautiful in their own special way!). She grabs Price by the collar of his multi-colored shirt.
Witch: THAT'S MY BITCH.
She shoves the brunette to the ground with her other arm.
Jayson Price: Hey-- you can't abuse her like that!
Orbit steps in... and hits the Crane stance.
Steve Orbit: See these feet-- they like mother fuckin' rattlesnakes, about to bite somebody. I ain't afraid of no spooky witch, ho. I'll boot yo' ass to the moon!
The witch turns her attention towards Orbit-- she waves her magic wand, and starts chanting a spell!
Jayson Price: Look out Orbit!
She shoots a magic spell, but Orbit ducks and it hits a lesbian standing behind Orbit! The lesbo turns into a frog!
Jayson Price: CLOSE ONE BRO!
Orbit snaps off the Crane Kick! The witch stumbles back into Price's waiting arms-- DOWNFALL TO THE WITCH!
Steve Orbit: DING DONG THE WITCH IS DEAD!
Two Wicked Witch references in one promo FTW!
Price walks over to the brunette and takes her by the hand, helping her up.
Jayson Price: What's your name?
Brunette: Cat.
Jayson Price: Ew!
Price drops her back onto the ground.
Steve Orbit: Yeah, what a gross name. Man, this place is givin' me the creeps.
Jayson Price: Me too-- this sucks! Why are we here when you have dozens of prostitutes in every city in the country?!
Orbit rubs his chin.
Steve Orbit: Fair question, my good man. Let's roll!
Orbit grabs the Witch's Broom-- Price gets on the back and they fly away into the night, towards the land of liquor, narcotics and hookers! A wearwolf howls at the moon!
FADE OUT
==
Fade in to Steve Orbit, chillin' like it ain't no thang.
Steve Orbit: Sarah mother fuckin' Twilight. You know... everybody said you wouldn't be back, but I know you better than that, Sarah. Yeah, I do. I worked side by side with you in Genesis for long enough to figure you the fuck out. See, that's kinda what I do, bitch. A pimp has to have a sixth sense, and I ain't talkin' about no Hocus Pocus witchcraft. I'm talkin' about the innate ability to read people-- see through all the bullshit and see who the fuck they really are. It's how I seperate the hoes from the housewives, even if they are outside of their natural habitats out in the wild.
Orbit winks.
Steve Orbit: Yeah, I figured you out a long time ago. I been knowin' who you really are and what you really about. You don't give a fuck about this business, Sarah, or this company-- ESPECIALLY this company. You proved that when you fucked and sucked your way to ownership-- that's facts, ladies and gentlemen, do your research-- and then rather than improve the company, you turned it into your personal fuckin' playground. What was it... every match was No DQ, you were making friends fight friends out of spite-- real professional shit. At least when Pantheon took over, we had structure and everybody was taken care of. When Eric Price was runnin' things, at least he knew how to handle himself as a businessman. When you threw enough pussy at Eric Price to blind him long enough to want to fuckin' MARRY you-- and you took advantage of him, basically stealing the company out from underneath him, you didn't do it because you were power hungry-- no, you did it for the attention. You did it for the shock factor, just like what you do everything else in your life for.
Orbit leans back in the chair and starts filing his nails.
Steve Orbit: I've met a lot of bitches like you in my lifetime, Sarah. Most of 'em ended up out on the track, or in the Club, stackin' up them dollars for me. Bitches like you are a dime a dozen-- broken home, troubled youth, whatever the case may be-- your spirit is so fragile. So easy to CRUSH, and rebuild. I mean, look at your history-- witchcraft. What type of young bitch gets interested in mother fuckin' WITCH CRAFT?! Everybody knows that one weird fuckin' bitch, sittin' in the corner... maybe she's got red hair, pale skin, ginger-lookin' ass-- not exactly the picture of beauty, you know what I'm sayin'. Maybe she's got problems at home, maybe her self-confidence is non-existant... so she turns to "the occult". I can hear the bitch now. "I'll show the world! I AM SOMEBODY! I matter!"
Orbit laughs and shakes his head.
Steve Orbit: That's you, Sarah, ain't it? Only you've been pullin' this shit for so long, you started to believe it yourself. All this, "only one that matters", "you don't matter", that's a reflection of yourself, bitch. I might not have a mother fuckin' doctorate but I done talked to enough fucked up bitches in my life to consider myself an amateur psychiatrist-- and besides, this shit ain't hard to figure out. We all know the type. The fuckin' "misfit" who sets out to get revenge on the world, it's a tale as old as time, bitch.
He places his newly manicured fingers on his chin and rubs his face.
Steve Orbit: See, nobody thought you would come back. I KNEW you would be back. You know can't nobody stand you around here, Sarah-- you know how hated and mother fuckin' despised you are, from the boys in the back, to the fans, to the board of directors and Seth himself. Nobody likes you. Nobody missed you, nobody wants you back. But you NEED to be back, and you NEED them to hate you. You fuckin' FEED off that shit, and why? Follow me now, because IT MAKES YOU FEEL IMPORTANT. It makes you feel ALIVE, Sarah, am I right? All these mother fuckers, talking about how much they hate you, talking about how they wish you were gone, wish you were DEAD-- it gives you that mother fuckin' attention that you CRAVE, don't it bitch? Yeah, it does. So yeah, I knew you'd be back. I knew it was just a matter of time.
Orbit pauses, putting his finger in the air.
Steve Orbit: What I DIDN'T see comin' is that my best buddy in the world, Seth Lerch would stick you in the main event your first match back. I mean, WOW-- that must be a real fuckin' ego trip for you. You must be beside your fuckin' self with joy. You must be whippin' Kat Phoenix EXTRA hard. Imagine that... Sarah Twilight comes back, forget everybody on the roster, she deserves to main event Slam against the WORLD CHAMPION, and STEVE ORBIT. Two of the biggest names in wrestling, Jay Price and Steve Orbit, versus a flaky, self-conscious bitch and... another flaky, self-conscious bitch. You can't make this shit up.
Orbit winks at the camera.
Steve Orbit: I mean-- look at your new "Family", Twilight. The only mother fuckers who would link up with you are a bunch of mother fuckers who been here for five minutes, Katherine Phoenix who may or may not be a 12 year old girl, and LOGAN. Fuckin' Logan, the only one who has abruptly disappeared from the company more times than YOU. Makes sense that y'all would form together, it really does. You'll be hated, you'll cause controversy, drama, a bunch of fuck shit-- and you'll love every second of it. Then you'll leave when the heat gets turnt up too high... you'll disappear for a while, and then you'll come back for more. It's a God damn cycle, and a predictable one at that. You will not last, Sarah. I only hope that you take fuckin' Katherine Phoenix and Logan with you when you bounce.
Orbit pauses for dramatic effect.
Steve Orbit: I don't hate you, Sarah. Hate is a powerful word, a powerful emotion-- and you don't have that type of power over me, because I just don't give a FUCK about you. The only reason you gettin' this many words outta me is because I have to see you in that ring on Sunday, and I want the whole world to know who the fuck you really are. I want to be the one to tear down the mother fuckin' illusions of some kinda bad, powerful bitch who can come back to WCF and have her way with it once again. I'm here to tell you, and everybody-- not this time, mother fucker. Steve Orbit is here, and I ain't the Steve Orbit you knew in Genesis, the new guy who didn't have nothin' to lose. I'm not even the Steve Orbit who PINNED YOU for the World Title at Ultimate Showdown in 2013. I'm the mother fuckin' legendary two-time World Champion of the Year Steve Orbit, WCF household name Steve Orbit-- mother fuckin' Cadillac ridin', hoe slappin', fake bitch EXPOSIN' Steve Orbit. Wish I could say "nice to meet you", but there ain't gonna be nothin' nice about this Sunday. Me and Jayson Price, we put our differences aside. We ready to roll just like the good ol' days. Remember when me and Price were an unstoppable team? Probably not, you was probably on one of your "vacations".
Orbit winks.
Steve Orbit: Well, you gon' find out. You and your fuckin' puppy dog love slave Katherine Phoenix, your little mini-me. Pathetic. After y'all, I'm comin' for the rest of your family-- one by one until I reach Logan and I settle things between me and him once and for all.
Orbit points at the camera.
Steve Orbit: This week-- Twilight, Kat Phoenix, you takin' the beating that Logan deserves. Consider it a message that I need y'all to deliver. And Logan, you know what time it is. See you at Slam.
Fade out.
Moments after the Final Destination match...
Gorilla position. The curtain is thrown aside as Steve Orbit steps through, heading towards the locker room. He winces with each step, stopping to catch his breath with every few steps.
Jesse Heenan approaches with her camera man in tow, catching Orbit while he is leaning against the wall, resting.
Jesse Heenan: Excuse me, Steve. I'm Jesse Heenan--
Steve Orbit: No shit, you were at my house last week.
Jesse Heenan: Can I get your thoughts on the ending of the Final Destination match?
Orbit pushes off the wall and continues walking, refusing to answer.
Jesse Heenan: Steve!
She watches him leave. Logan comes through the curtain with the briefcase, and she begins to chase after him. Back to Orbit, he rounds a corner and opens the door to the locker room. He steps through the doorway and is surprised to find his former friend, former rival Jayson Price inside, stretching. Orbit's eyes meet Price's-- Orbit turns around to leave, without a word. When he reaches the door--
Jayson Price: Steve!
Orbit spins around.
Steve Orbit: I'm not in the mood, Price. Keep your comments to yourself, you're the last one I'm about to take any shit from right now.
Price approaches Orbit, showing the palms of his hands.
Jayson Price: Slow down. I was just gonna say... you got robbed out there, man. Fucked up.
Orbit nods.
Steve Orbit: No shit. Fuckin' Seth. Mother fucker.
Jayson Price: If he'll do that to you, who knows what the fuck he's gonna do to me out there. The last thing he wants is for me is to win that World title. Obviously.
Steve Orbit: Shit... the way it's looking now, he might have Logan come out and cash that briefcase tonight. Should have seen it comin'-- Logan and Seth been in love for damn near fifteen years at this point.
Suddenly, a large roar from the crowd catches their attention. Orbit and Price turn towards a production monitor... and a look of shock crosses both of their faces.
Jayson Price: Oh HELL no.
Steve Orbit: ... mother fucker.
On the monitor, we see Sarah Twilight walking towards the ring. Orbit and Price watch in stunned silence. Orbit's jaw is wide open. Price stands with his arms crossed.
A few moments later, Price's jaw drops too. Logan and Twilight are shown standing together on the monitor.
"Logan: I'VE GOT THE BRIEFCASE, BOUDLES!"
The rage is seen building in both Price and Orbit.
Jayson Price: Oh, you gotta be fuckin' kidding me now.
Steve Orbit: What's the name of the group-- Land of the Lost?!
On the monitor, the segment is almost over.
Jayson Price: Damn. Sarah Twilight, back-- AGAIN. I really thought we'd seen the last of that fucking whore.
Steve Orbit: Tonight is just full of fuckin' surprises, ain't it.
Orbit turns towards Price.
Steve Orbit: You're up. You better get out there.
Jayson Price: Right.
Price begins to leave the locker room.
Steve Orbit: Hey Price.
Price turns around.
Steve Orbit: Good luck. Watch your back, for real.
Price nods and leaves the locker room. Orbit sits down on a bench and sighs. He begins to take off his boots and we fade out.
==
RITZ-CARLTON HOTEL - PHILLY
Orbit enters his King Suite. Just coming from the hotel gym, he's wearing a tank top and black Nike shorts, carrying a small gym bag. He drops the bag next to the bed and takes a seat on the edge. His usual Latina companion raises up from under the covers.
Latina: There was a call for you.
Steve Orbit: Yeah?
She points to a note pad on the table. He picks it up. He shakes his head.
Steve Orbit: THIS mother fucker.
Orbit picks up the phone and immediately begins dialing.
Steve Orbit: Yeah, Seth Lerch please. ... What you mean he's not there? He just called me within the last hour. ... Check under his desk, he's probably hidin' under there like usual. ... Aight. It's Steve Orbit, tell him to call me back. ... Thanks.
Orbit begins to scroll through his cellphone. He goes to his e-mail, where he finds the Slam card which is e-mailed to all talent on Monday mornings.
Steve Orbit: ... What the fuck?! Serious?!
Orbit jumps off the bed and begins pacing around.
Steve Orbit: I'm teaming with Price?! And this fuckin' bitch is in the main event?!
The girl raises up in the bed once again, covering her upper body with a sheet.
Latina: What is it, baby?
Orbit sits down next to her, clutching his phone.
Steve Orbit: Just... some bullshit. It ain't no big deal, just go back to sleep.
He scrolls through his phone again. He stares at the screen for a few moments, contemplating. Finally, he presses the screen and puts the phone to his ear.
Steve Orbit: ... Price, it's Steve. I dunno if you seen the card yet-- we need to talk, bruh. Call me when you get this message.
As he puts the phone down, it rings. He answers.
Steve Orbit: Yo. ... That's what I'm sayin', how is this bitch in the main event already!? ... Aight, look, that's besides the point. Me and you got some shit we need to straighten out before we even think about Twilight and KP. ... Shit, how 'bout right now? I ain't got shit to do today. ... Where you wanna meet, your Tower? ... What? Pantheon? ... Damn, I'm outta the loop. That's fucked up. ... Aight, I'm gettin' dressed and then I'm on the way. ... Yeah. Aight.
The call ends and Orbit puts the phone on the night stand. He stands up, stretches, and grabs one of his many suitcases. He throws it onto the bed and pops it open. Fade out.
==
DOWNTOWN PHILLY
About an hour later, Orbit arrives at a hole-in-the-wall dive bar somewhere downtown. He steps out of the cab, wearing a baby blue pinstripe suit and a feather in his hat, draped in gold and diamonds with 'gator boots. He tips the cab a hunnid and steps into the bar...
It's early afternoon. Most of the bar is retirees and blue collar guys. They all turn at once to see Orbit standing in the doorway in all of his pimped out glory. Orbit flashes a smile and nods towards the entire bar, making his way to the end of the bar where Jayson Price is already seated. Orbit sits on the stool next to Price.
Steve Orbit: You couldn't have picked somewhere better than this? Somewhere a little more... you know, nigga friendly?
Jayson Price: What, these guys? Don't worry about them.
The entire bar is still staring at Orbit, as the bartender approaches. Orbit pulls out his money clip and peels off some bills.
Steve Orbit: Hennessy on the rocks, and a couple rounds for everybody in here. The whole place.
The bartender happily takes the cash.
Jayson Price: That's one way to win 'em over.
Steve Orbit: Shit, you act like I never been in a room full of white people before. I know how to move.
Price nods his head. The bartender returns with Orbit's drink. Orbit clinks his glass with the vodka that Price has already in hand.
Steve Orbit: Good job on that World Title, bruh. I know how long you been tryin' to get that thing around your waist... even Seth couldn't stop you last night. Wish I could say the same.
Jayson Price: Yeah, it's been a long time coming.
Both men sip their drinks.
Steve Orbit: So... taggin' this week. It's been a while since we been on the same team.
Jayson Price: ... Yup.
They sip their drinks again. Awkward silence.
Jayson Price: Alright, look man. We were always cool, and then I fucked it up. You trusted me when we were in Pantheon, I took advantage of that trust because I wanted the World title.
Orbit nods.
Steve Orbit: Go on.
Jayson Price: It was just business, Steve. It's not like you've never stabbed anybody in the back before over business. We were cool, we were on the same side for a long time-- from Cryogenix to Pantheon, we had each other's backs. But once I got that pinfall in Trios, and won that title shot... you know how long I've wanted this World title, Steve. How long I've NEEDED to do this.
Steve Orbit: And what happened? You didn't take it from me. You couldn't. Sure, we beat the fuck outta each other 'til neither of us could stand, but let that be a lesson. Look at you now-- you went into the match with Wade, no bullshit, no mind games, and you whooped his ass, overcame Seth, overcame #BeachKrew and you finally got what you wanted. It's karma, bruh. You gotta stay on the right side of that shit.
Jayson Price: Karma?! I--
Steve Orbit: Just roll with it, man. We tryin' to get back on the same page.
Jayson Price: Fair enough. And the point is-- I'm sorry for superkicking you. I should have just shook your hand and faced you like a man.
Steve Orbit: Right on. I mean... with all that said, I know where you was comin' from. I knew it back then, too. You was hungry, Price, and you did what you thought you had to do. We've all made bad decisions, homie. So I forgive you. Just don't fuck with me like that again, man, I'm serious.
Orbit puts his hand out. Price shakes it.
Jayson Price: Now that I have the title, maybe it's me who should be worried about YOU.
Orbit flashes a big smile.
Steve Orbit: No comment.
Jayson Price: Hey, man-- whenever you're ready.
Orbit's smile fades as the two men lock eyes for another uncomfortable moment of silence. Orbit is the one to break the spell this time.
Steve Orbit: Honestly, we ain't even got time to worry about all that right now. What we need to be talkin' about is Slam on Sunday. Ding dong the bitch is BACK.
Jayson Price: What's there to talk about? Dude, both of them combined barely make up my weight. I just beat Wade Moor, I'm the fucking World Champion. You just went toe-to-toe with six of the company's best talents and you would have won if it wasn't for Seth screwing you... only to lead to he, himself being screwed, in true Seth fashion. The point is, we're two badass mofos. Sarah Twilight is the most overhyped wrestler in WCF history, and are we honestly taking Katherine Phoenix seriously? Come on, bro.
Orbit nods, sipping his drink.
Steve Orbit: I feel you, man, I do. But I know Sarah fuckin' Twilight. Remember, I know her well. We worked together for a long time-- I know what she's capable of, Price.
Price scoffs.
Jayson Price: What she's capable of? You mean bleeding and not dying? She's a fuckin' conniving little wench who should have stayed gone, and believe me, I am going to make that point very fucking clear to her on Sunday. Katherine Phoenix is more of an annoyance than a threat, but I'll crush her nonetheless.
Steve Orbit: You aren't at all worried? My man-- Logan has the briefcase. He's aligned himself with Twilight, KP and-- whoever else, I don't recognize any of the other "Family" members. What makes you think all of them won't take this opportunity to beat us down, six, seven on two or whatever it would be, only for Logan to cash in on your ass?
Price sips his drink, now with a look of concern.
Steve Orbit: You became World Champion at a strange time, homie. This is a whole new world out here. This briefcase... this anywhere, any time contract is throwin' a mother fuckin' wrench in the whole system. You gotta watch your back at all times, you know what I'm sayin'? I don't wanna see you go out like that, and I'ma do whatever I can to help you out on Sunday, but this is some shit you need to think about.
Price finishes his drink and calls for the bartender.
Jayson Price: Fuck Logan. Cashing in will be his Downfall, I can promise you that. I'm ready for him, I'm ready for Twilight, I'm ready for anything.
Steve Orbit: You sure that ain't the booze talkin'?
Both men laugh.
Jayson Price: Seriously though. I give "The Family" 'til the next Pay Per View, tops. An entire group of flakes-- people who can't even manage their own careers for any real period of time, but somehow they will survive as a group? I don't think so, Steve. This whole thing is a joke and it's going to be over as quick as it started.
Steve Orbit: Yeah, you probably right. Let's give 'em a welcome party AND a parting gift all wrapped in one magnificent loss to two of the baddest mother fuckers to ever step foot into WCF.
Jayson Price: I'll drink to that.
Their glasses clink once again and they take a long sip.
Steve Orbit: Tell you what, Price-- hangin' with you right now, it's bringin' back memories. We had some good times, you know what I'm sayin'... and I say we keep the good times rollin'. I'ma help you celebrate that World Title win. You down?
Price eyes Orbit.
Jayson Price: Down for what?
Orbit flashes a smile.
Steve Orbit: Just trust me. I know a place where there's gon' be TONS of bitches at. I'm talkin' like a hundred females to every male.
Jayson Price: Where's that?
Orbit continues to smile, nodding his head... fade out.
==
THE LILITH FAIR
Fade in to a huge music festival. There's a sea of women with butch haircuts, lots of peircings and tattoos, tank tops, basketball shorts-- some even have facial hair. It's truly a sight to behold-- and to one side, watching this sea of lesbian humanity, stand Steve Orbit and Jayson Price. Price is wearing a multi-colored dress shirt, and Orbit is in his usual pimp suit.
"COOOOME TO MY WINDDDOOOOWWWW", Melissa Etheridge sings and plays guitar on the main stage.
Steve Orbit: I told you there was a lot of bitches here, man.
Jayson Price: Hell yeah, bro. Mostly ugly chicks, but whatever. I'm almost there.
Price pulls out a flask and takes a sip.
Jayson Price: I dunno about this shirt, though.
Steve Orbit: Trust me. That's from my personal Steve Orbit pimp collection. See those little magnets on the buttons? Those are literal pussy magnets. You'll see.
Price takes another swig and passes the flask to Orbit, who swigs it down. Orbit coughs before handing it back to Price.
Steve Orbit: What the fuck is that?!
Price smiles.
Jayson Price: Some 'shine, bro.
Orbit screws up his face.
Steve Orbit: Fuckin' white people. Anyway, let's do this. There's bitches everywhere, we should be outta here in five minutes.
Price notices a young looking brunette-- she's skinny, trashy looking with bad make-up. Price points to her.
Jayson Price: What about her?
Steve Orbit: Bro, she looks like she's fifteen. Even I wouldn't go there.
Jayson Price: C'mon man, only one way to find out.
Orbit reluctantly follows Price over towards the girl.
Jayson Price: Hey baby. You wanna get outta here? I got a twelve incher.
Orbit clears his throat. Price nudges him.
Jayson Price: Ten, twelve, whatever. Only one way to find out, sweet thing.
The girl is clearly interested. She clearly loves the cock. BUT THEN--
A thin red-headed witch swoops down from the skies, flying on her broom. She lands right in between Price and the brunette. She is a ginger with red hair and a face that looks like she might have Down's syndrome (not that people who have Down's syndrome aren't beautiful in their own special way!). She grabs Price by the collar of his multi-colored shirt.
Witch: THAT'S MY BITCH.
She shoves the brunette to the ground with her other arm.
Jayson Price: Hey-- you can't abuse her like that!
Orbit steps in... and hits the Crane stance.
Steve Orbit: See these feet-- they like mother fuckin' rattlesnakes, about to bite somebody. I ain't afraid of no spooky witch, ho. I'll boot yo' ass to the moon!
The witch turns her attention towards Orbit-- she waves her magic wand, and starts chanting a spell!
Jayson Price: Look out Orbit!
She shoots a magic spell, but Orbit ducks and it hits a lesbian standing behind Orbit! The lesbo turns into a frog!
Jayson Price: CLOSE ONE BRO!
Orbit snaps off the Crane Kick! The witch stumbles back into Price's waiting arms-- DOWNFALL TO THE WITCH!
Steve Orbit: DING DONG THE WITCH IS DEAD!
Two Wicked Witch references in one promo FTW!
Price walks over to the brunette and takes her by the hand, helping her up.
Jayson Price: What's your name?
Brunette: Cat.
Jayson Price: Ew!
Price drops her back onto the ground.
Steve Orbit: Yeah, what a gross name. Man, this place is givin' me the creeps.
Jayson Price: Me too-- this sucks! Why are we here when you have dozens of prostitutes in every city in the country?!
Orbit rubs his chin.
Steve Orbit: Fair question, my good man. Let's roll!
Orbit grabs the Witch's Broom-- Price gets on the back and they fly away into the night, towards the land of liquor, narcotics and hookers! A wearwolf howls at the moon!
FADE OUT
==
Fade in to Steve Orbit, chillin' like it ain't no thang.
Steve Orbit: Sarah mother fuckin' Twilight. You know... everybody said you wouldn't be back, but I know you better than that, Sarah. Yeah, I do. I worked side by side with you in Genesis for long enough to figure you the fuck out. See, that's kinda what I do, bitch. A pimp has to have a sixth sense, and I ain't talkin' about no Hocus Pocus witchcraft. I'm talkin' about the innate ability to read people-- see through all the bullshit and see who the fuck they really are. It's how I seperate the hoes from the housewives, even if they are outside of their natural habitats out in the wild.
Orbit winks.
Steve Orbit: Yeah, I figured you out a long time ago. I been knowin' who you really are and what you really about. You don't give a fuck about this business, Sarah, or this company-- ESPECIALLY this company. You proved that when you fucked and sucked your way to ownership-- that's facts, ladies and gentlemen, do your research-- and then rather than improve the company, you turned it into your personal fuckin' playground. What was it... every match was No DQ, you were making friends fight friends out of spite-- real professional shit. At least when Pantheon took over, we had structure and everybody was taken care of. When Eric Price was runnin' things, at least he knew how to handle himself as a businessman. When you threw enough pussy at Eric Price to blind him long enough to want to fuckin' MARRY you-- and you took advantage of him, basically stealing the company out from underneath him, you didn't do it because you were power hungry-- no, you did it for the attention. You did it for the shock factor, just like what you do everything else in your life for.
Orbit leans back in the chair and starts filing his nails.
Steve Orbit: I've met a lot of bitches like you in my lifetime, Sarah. Most of 'em ended up out on the track, or in the Club, stackin' up them dollars for me. Bitches like you are a dime a dozen-- broken home, troubled youth, whatever the case may be-- your spirit is so fragile. So easy to CRUSH, and rebuild. I mean, look at your history-- witchcraft. What type of young bitch gets interested in mother fuckin' WITCH CRAFT?! Everybody knows that one weird fuckin' bitch, sittin' in the corner... maybe she's got red hair, pale skin, ginger-lookin' ass-- not exactly the picture of beauty, you know what I'm sayin'. Maybe she's got problems at home, maybe her self-confidence is non-existant... so she turns to "the occult". I can hear the bitch now. "I'll show the world! I AM SOMEBODY! I matter!"
Orbit laughs and shakes his head.
Steve Orbit: That's you, Sarah, ain't it? Only you've been pullin' this shit for so long, you started to believe it yourself. All this, "only one that matters", "you don't matter", that's a reflection of yourself, bitch. I might not have a mother fuckin' doctorate but I done talked to enough fucked up bitches in my life to consider myself an amateur psychiatrist-- and besides, this shit ain't hard to figure out. We all know the type. The fuckin' "misfit" who sets out to get revenge on the world, it's a tale as old as time, bitch.
He places his newly manicured fingers on his chin and rubs his face.
Steve Orbit: See, nobody thought you would come back. I KNEW you would be back. You know can't nobody stand you around here, Sarah-- you know how hated and mother fuckin' despised you are, from the boys in the back, to the fans, to the board of directors and Seth himself. Nobody likes you. Nobody missed you, nobody wants you back. But you NEED to be back, and you NEED them to hate you. You fuckin' FEED off that shit, and why? Follow me now, because IT MAKES YOU FEEL IMPORTANT. It makes you feel ALIVE, Sarah, am I right? All these mother fuckers, talking about how much they hate you, talking about how they wish you were gone, wish you were DEAD-- it gives you that mother fuckin' attention that you CRAVE, don't it bitch? Yeah, it does. So yeah, I knew you'd be back. I knew it was just a matter of time.
Orbit pauses, putting his finger in the air.
Steve Orbit: What I DIDN'T see comin' is that my best buddy in the world, Seth Lerch would stick you in the main event your first match back. I mean, WOW-- that must be a real fuckin' ego trip for you. You must be beside your fuckin' self with joy. You must be whippin' Kat Phoenix EXTRA hard. Imagine that... Sarah Twilight comes back, forget everybody on the roster, she deserves to main event Slam against the WORLD CHAMPION, and STEVE ORBIT. Two of the biggest names in wrestling, Jay Price and Steve Orbit, versus a flaky, self-conscious bitch and... another flaky, self-conscious bitch. You can't make this shit up.
Orbit winks at the camera.
Steve Orbit: I mean-- look at your new "Family", Twilight. The only mother fuckers who would link up with you are a bunch of mother fuckers who been here for five minutes, Katherine Phoenix who may or may not be a 12 year old girl, and LOGAN. Fuckin' Logan, the only one who has abruptly disappeared from the company more times than YOU. Makes sense that y'all would form together, it really does. You'll be hated, you'll cause controversy, drama, a bunch of fuck shit-- and you'll love every second of it. Then you'll leave when the heat gets turnt up too high... you'll disappear for a while, and then you'll come back for more. It's a God damn cycle, and a predictable one at that. You will not last, Sarah. I only hope that you take fuckin' Katherine Phoenix and Logan with you when you bounce.
Orbit pauses for dramatic effect.
Steve Orbit: I don't hate you, Sarah. Hate is a powerful word, a powerful emotion-- and you don't have that type of power over me, because I just don't give a FUCK about you. The only reason you gettin' this many words outta me is because I have to see you in that ring on Sunday, and I want the whole world to know who the fuck you really are. I want to be the one to tear down the mother fuckin' illusions of some kinda bad, powerful bitch who can come back to WCF and have her way with it once again. I'm here to tell you, and everybody-- not this time, mother fucker. Steve Orbit is here, and I ain't the Steve Orbit you knew in Genesis, the new guy who didn't have nothin' to lose. I'm not even the Steve Orbit who PINNED YOU for the World Title at Ultimate Showdown in 2013. I'm the mother fuckin' legendary two-time World Champion of the Year Steve Orbit, WCF household name Steve Orbit-- mother fuckin' Cadillac ridin', hoe slappin', fake bitch EXPOSIN' Steve Orbit. Wish I could say "nice to meet you", but there ain't gonna be nothin' nice about this Sunday. Me and Jayson Price, we put our differences aside. We ready to roll just like the good ol' days. Remember when me and Price were an unstoppable team? Probably not, you was probably on one of your "vacations".
Orbit winks.
Steve Orbit: Well, you gon' find out. You and your fuckin' puppy dog love slave Katherine Phoenix, your little mini-me. Pathetic. After y'all, I'm comin' for the rest of your family-- one by one until I reach Logan and I settle things between me and him once and for all.
Orbit points at the camera.
Steve Orbit: This week-- Twilight, Kat Phoenix, you takin' the beating that Logan deserves. Consider it a message that I need y'all to deliver. And Logan, you know what time it is. See you at Slam.
Fade out.
