Post by DeMarcus Jordan on Feb 7, 2016 10:32:06 GMT -5
DeMarcus is sitting by a camp fire, dressed in all khaki. Clearly, he is trying to channel just what it is like to go on a boy scout outing with Stuart Slane as his absentee scoutmaster. He he has on a short sleeve shirt and shorts. His socks and shoes? Khaki. He wears a ball cap that has the stiching of the outline of a tiger. Clearly, he is a tiger cub. Not quite the scout he wishes that he could be, ha. He holds in his hand a long stick that he is poking into the fire, which is clearly fake.
DeMarcus Jordan: Sunday I go one on one with the man who was once known as 'The Scoutmaster' Stuart Slane. Now, of course, he is just Stuart Slane. Because the scoutmaster general took away his scout status...So that is something that happened in WCF. I, myself, have never been a boy scout, mostly because I was a kid who didn't like to get picked on and beat up by bullies. But I do respect those who stuck through it all in order to do...whatever the fuck it is that boyscouts do. I did look up, however, a couple of pieces of information about the boyscouts in order to actually understand what it is to BE Stuart Slane, the perpetual boyscout.
He takes a little stab at the fake fire, shielding his eyes from the brightness. He pulls out a bag of marshmallows and sticks three of them on his stick, putting it back into the fire. As that cooks, he gets some graham cracker and chocolate ready.
DeMarcus Jordan: First of all, lets start with the Boy Scout Oath. On my honor, I will do my best To do my duty to God and my country and to obey the Scout Law; To help other people at all times; To keep myself physically strong, mentally awake and morally straight. On my honor, I will do my best is the first line of this oath. So Slane, let me ask you, have you done your best? I mean, really, have you? Oh sure since you have been back you have done pretty well for yourself...you have managed to win the Television Title within a couple of weeks from a man who was having quite a run with it.
But Slane, is that really worth it? You have basically been around here since what, 2013 or 2012 and you are JUST now winning a title meant for newcomers to the WCF? What does that say about you Slane? I mean if other wrestlers came back, Jeff Purse, Skyler Striker, Brad Kane, anyone comes back they go for the biggest, most best thing in the WCF, but you? Well you are fine just being a newbie again. Way to really 'try your best' Slane. Good job.
He checks his marshmellows, they are not done yet. He looks them over very closely, but of course they aren't done yet, because the fire is made up of plastic wood logs and a red lightbulb. He sticks the marshmellow stick back into the 'fire'.
DeMarcus Jordan: 'To my duty to God and my county and to obey Scout Law'. What the fuck is your duty to God, Stuart? To do well in life? To make a positive impact in other people's lifes? Or is it to pass around the word of the lord? Either way, it doesn't belong in the oath seeing as how I am sure there is a good population of boy scouts that aren't Christian. So does that mean that its going to be EVERYONE's individual God, or just your God, Slane? That is a very, very destructive saying...it just makes no sense Slane. And what the hell is Scout Law? Isn't this Oath basically Scout Law? No. No its not, because I have researched Boy Scout law, Slane.
Grabbing a piece of graham cracker, he takes the marshmellows out of the 'fire' and blows the 'fire' off of them. Nothing is changed, they look like regular marshmellows, but he puts on of them on a piece of graham cracker.
DeMarcus Jordan: The Boy Scout law states, and I quote, A Scout is Trustworthy, Loyal, Helpful, Friendly, Courteous, Kind, Obedient, Cheerful, Thrifty, Brave, Clean, and Reverent. Holy shit that is a long ass law. That is what the Boy Scout LAW is, Slane. Did you know that. Because I used to watch you on TV before I got to the WCF, I was a big fan. But you know what, Slane, I never saw you be trustworthy. You tried to convince us fans that there was a secret gang of, what, 14 people that all were out to GET you, and you know what Slane, that never HAPPENED. You untrustworthy piece of shit. Loyal?
Psh, the only thing you have ever been loyal to is being one of the most boring people I have ever seein in the WCF, ever. Helpful is not something I would say you were, I have never seen you help anyone. You were always a jerk to anyone who joined, so friendly isn't a good descriptor of you, though I know now you are trying to be...better? Curteous, kind, obedient, cheerful? Nope. You are rude, mean, and unhappy all the time. Obedient is a good way to describe you though, you are very obdient. Thrifty? Im sury you have never given to charity. Brave and clean? More like cowardly and smelly. Reverent? No. Just...no.
He grabs the chocolate and puts it on the other piece of graham cracker, and puts the other part of the cracker on the rest of the stuff, making a perfect looking smore, that is, a smore with a regular marshmellow, not a melted marshmellow. He eyes it, and to be honest with himself, he really didn't want to eat it. He wasn't a big fan of smores. But he took a bit anyway and chewed it up and swollowed his first bite. He rubbed his tummy like it tasted real good, and then threw the rest of it over his right shoulder.
DeMarcus Jordan: So Slane, so far have have displayed the exact opposite skills and traits that you need to have to be a good Scout. So its a good thing that the 'Scoutmaster General' revoked your Scoutmaster rights. The next line of the oath is 'To help other people at all times'. At ALL TIMES! Slane do you believe that you have actually done your best, when you were running around as the Scoutmaster, did you really do your best to help people at all times?
I don't think so, I really don't think so. I saw people go by you that needed help and you didn't do shit about it. I know you are trying to make yourself better Slane, taking lessons from Jeff Purse on how to be a 'good guy'...but I am going to tell yout this Slane...you have to actually be a good person. And your past is what makes you a piece of shit, forever. People don't just change Slane. People don't just change.
He puts his hands up to feel the warmth of the 'fire'. Where ever it is that he is, the light begins to get a little dim. He looks up at it, yet stays at the 'fire'.
DeMarcus Jordan: Finally, the last part of your stupid oath, To keep myself physically strong, mentally awake, and morally straight. That part suits you actually quite well, doesn't it Slane. You are a physically strong specimen. You are mentally aware and morally straight. You never let the drink or the drugs taint you. You stuck to your ideals, and I suppose that is something that should be admired? But if you think about it Slane, thats the part of the boyscout oath that is very selfish, its all about YOU. You are a very selfish guy, Slane. So that makes actual sense. Good job there, fella, good job on being the most selfish man that the scouts ever had the displeasure of having around.
He gets up and grabs a bucket that he has filled with sand. He throws the sand onto the 'fire', though it stays on. He frowns. He leans over and he unscrews the lightbulb enough to where the light goes off, he smiles at his work, and begins to ready his tent.
DeMarcus Jordan: Seriously though Slane, you have come back and you are doing quite a good job. I am proud of you, buddy. No, really, I am really happy for you. You are a good wrestler, and you deserve a little bit of accolade. But I am going to let you in on a little secret, Stuart, a really good little secret. I don't give a FUCK about who you are now. I really, really don't. I don't care that you are trying to make yourself better. I don't care that you are fighting a fight for good instead of whatever it is that you were fighting it before. I really don't care, and do you know why Slane?
Because I know that in a month or so, you are going to be fucking gone, Slane. Thats right, because that is what you do. You come into the fed, you have SOME success, and then you fucking leave. You come in, you have a little success, and then you fucking leave. All you ever do is come, leave, come, leave, and honestly I don't have time to waste on fucks like you. People who aren't really committed to anything. You shouldn't have even had a shot at that Television Title, but because you have a known name in WCF, you get and get and get. Well, Slane, I am going to take and take and take, because I DESERVE to hold a championship like that, while you deserve to suck my fucking dick. Sorry, its just the very truth. Its my time, Slane. Its not your time. Your time was back in 2013.
He climbs into his tent and gets really comfortable in his sleeping bag. Luckily, there is a camera inside of the tent, so that he can continue to speak.
DeMarcus Jordan: Here is the basics of it, Slane. I am going to take what is mine. That television title, well that is mine Slane, not yours. You were able to beat Dustin Beaver for the belt, which, I mean, who couldn't? These Beach Krew fucks are some of the weakest bitches in this place. That is the fucking truth. So be ready for me on Sunday, Stuart. Because I am coming for you. I am coming for you and your fucking title. You are done. Its night night time now, and also, now that I know what its like to be a Scout, FUCK BEING A SCOUT! It SUCKS! Night.
He clicks off his lantern as the scene comes to a close.
DeMarcus Jordan: Sunday I go one on one with the man who was once known as 'The Scoutmaster' Stuart Slane. Now, of course, he is just Stuart Slane. Because the scoutmaster general took away his scout status...So that is something that happened in WCF. I, myself, have never been a boy scout, mostly because I was a kid who didn't like to get picked on and beat up by bullies. But I do respect those who stuck through it all in order to do...whatever the fuck it is that boyscouts do. I did look up, however, a couple of pieces of information about the boyscouts in order to actually understand what it is to BE Stuart Slane, the perpetual boyscout.
He takes a little stab at the fake fire, shielding his eyes from the brightness. He pulls out a bag of marshmallows and sticks three of them on his stick, putting it back into the fire. As that cooks, he gets some graham cracker and chocolate ready.
DeMarcus Jordan: First of all, lets start with the Boy Scout Oath. On my honor, I will do my best To do my duty to God and my country and to obey the Scout Law; To help other people at all times; To keep myself physically strong, mentally awake and morally straight. On my honor, I will do my best is the first line of this oath. So Slane, let me ask you, have you done your best? I mean, really, have you? Oh sure since you have been back you have done pretty well for yourself...you have managed to win the Television Title within a couple of weeks from a man who was having quite a run with it.
But Slane, is that really worth it? You have basically been around here since what, 2013 or 2012 and you are JUST now winning a title meant for newcomers to the WCF? What does that say about you Slane? I mean if other wrestlers came back, Jeff Purse, Skyler Striker, Brad Kane, anyone comes back they go for the biggest, most best thing in the WCF, but you? Well you are fine just being a newbie again. Way to really 'try your best' Slane. Good job.
He checks his marshmellows, they are not done yet. He looks them over very closely, but of course they aren't done yet, because the fire is made up of plastic wood logs and a red lightbulb. He sticks the marshmellow stick back into the 'fire'.
DeMarcus Jordan: 'To my duty to God and my county and to obey Scout Law'. What the fuck is your duty to God, Stuart? To do well in life? To make a positive impact in other people's lifes? Or is it to pass around the word of the lord? Either way, it doesn't belong in the oath seeing as how I am sure there is a good population of boy scouts that aren't Christian. So does that mean that its going to be EVERYONE's individual God, or just your God, Slane? That is a very, very destructive saying...it just makes no sense Slane. And what the hell is Scout Law? Isn't this Oath basically Scout Law? No. No its not, because I have researched Boy Scout law, Slane.
Grabbing a piece of graham cracker, he takes the marshmellows out of the 'fire' and blows the 'fire' off of them. Nothing is changed, they look like regular marshmellows, but he puts on of them on a piece of graham cracker.
DeMarcus Jordan: The Boy Scout law states, and I quote, A Scout is Trustworthy, Loyal, Helpful, Friendly, Courteous, Kind, Obedient, Cheerful, Thrifty, Brave, Clean, and Reverent. Holy shit that is a long ass law. That is what the Boy Scout LAW is, Slane. Did you know that. Because I used to watch you on TV before I got to the WCF, I was a big fan. But you know what, Slane, I never saw you be trustworthy. You tried to convince us fans that there was a secret gang of, what, 14 people that all were out to GET you, and you know what Slane, that never HAPPENED. You untrustworthy piece of shit. Loyal?
Psh, the only thing you have ever been loyal to is being one of the most boring people I have ever seein in the WCF, ever. Helpful is not something I would say you were, I have never seen you help anyone. You were always a jerk to anyone who joined, so friendly isn't a good descriptor of you, though I know now you are trying to be...better? Curteous, kind, obedient, cheerful? Nope. You are rude, mean, and unhappy all the time. Obedient is a good way to describe you though, you are very obdient. Thrifty? Im sury you have never given to charity. Brave and clean? More like cowardly and smelly. Reverent? No. Just...no.
He grabs the chocolate and puts it on the other piece of graham cracker, and puts the other part of the cracker on the rest of the stuff, making a perfect looking smore, that is, a smore with a regular marshmellow, not a melted marshmellow. He eyes it, and to be honest with himself, he really didn't want to eat it. He wasn't a big fan of smores. But he took a bit anyway and chewed it up and swollowed his first bite. He rubbed his tummy like it tasted real good, and then threw the rest of it over his right shoulder.
DeMarcus Jordan: So Slane, so far have have displayed the exact opposite skills and traits that you need to have to be a good Scout. So its a good thing that the 'Scoutmaster General' revoked your Scoutmaster rights. The next line of the oath is 'To help other people at all times'. At ALL TIMES! Slane do you believe that you have actually done your best, when you were running around as the Scoutmaster, did you really do your best to help people at all times?
I don't think so, I really don't think so. I saw people go by you that needed help and you didn't do shit about it. I know you are trying to make yourself better Slane, taking lessons from Jeff Purse on how to be a 'good guy'...but I am going to tell yout this Slane...you have to actually be a good person. And your past is what makes you a piece of shit, forever. People don't just change Slane. People don't just change.
He puts his hands up to feel the warmth of the 'fire'. Where ever it is that he is, the light begins to get a little dim. He looks up at it, yet stays at the 'fire'.
DeMarcus Jordan: Finally, the last part of your stupid oath, To keep myself physically strong, mentally awake, and morally straight. That part suits you actually quite well, doesn't it Slane. You are a physically strong specimen. You are mentally aware and morally straight. You never let the drink or the drugs taint you. You stuck to your ideals, and I suppose that is something that should be admired? But if you think about it Slane, thats the part of the boyscout oath that is very selfish, its all about YOU. You are a very selfish guy, Slane. So that makes actual sense. Good job there, fella, good job on being the most selfish man that the scouts ever had the displeasure of having around.
He gets up and grabs a bucket that he has filled with sand. He throws the sand onto the 'fire', though it stays on. He frowns. He leans over and he unscrews the lightbulb enough to where the light goes off, he smiles at his work, and begins to ready his tent.
DeMarcus Jordan: Seriously though Slane, you have come back and you are doing quite a good job. I am proud of you, buddy. No, really, I am really happy for you. You are a good wrestler, and you deserve a little bit of accolade. But I am going to let you in on a little secret, Stuart, a really good little secret. I don't give a FUCK about who you are now. I really, really don't. I don't care that you are trying to make yourself better. I don't care that you are fighting a fight for good instead of whatever it is that you were fighting it before. I really don't care, and do you know why Slane?
Because I know that in a month or so, you are going to be fucking gone, Slane. Thats right, because that is what you do. You come into the fed, you have SOME success, and then you fucking leave. You come in, you have a little success, and then you fucking leave. All you ever do is come, leave, come, leave, and honestly I don't have time to waste on fucks like you. People who aren't really committed to anything. You shouldn't have even had a shot at that Television Title, but because you have a known name in WCF, you get and get and get. Well, Slane, I am going to take and take and take, because I DESERVE to hold a championship like that, while you deserve to suck my fucking dick. Sorry, its just the very truth. Its my time, Slane. Its not your time. Your time was back in 2013.
He climbs into his tent and gets really comfortable in his sleeping bag. Luckily, there is a camera inside of the tent, so that he can continue to speak.
DeMarcus Jordan: Here is the basics of it, Slane. I am going to take what is mine. That television title, well that is mine Slane, not yours. You were able to beat Dustin Beaver for the belt, which, I mean, who couldn't? These Beach Krew fucks are some of the weakest bitches in this place. That is the fucking truth. So be ready for me on Sunday, Stuart. Because I am coming for you. I am coming for you and your fucking title. You are done. Its night night time now, and also, now that I know what its like to be a Scout, FUCK BEING A SCOUT! It SUCKS! Night.
He clicks off his lantern as the scene comes to a close.