Post by Danny Vice on Apr 7, 2007 12:41:26 GMT -5
"Hun...you think KFC's still open?"
-Frank the Tank
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Jimmy Vice comes stumbling into the bedroom of his older brother, Danny.
Jimmy Vice: Right now, if I had to choose between a large glass of water with 2 Advil and taking the virginity of Adriana Lima, I would take the water and Advil with no regrets.
Danny groans loudly as he rolls over.
Danny Vice: If I had revolver with two bullets in it, I wouldn't even shoot you first to put you out of your suffering because the drummer inside of my skull is being too big of a prick.
Both brothers look like total sh*theads right now. Jimmy has basketball shorts, a torn t-shirt, and only one sock on. Danny has a white beater with blood on it from his somehow bloody nose, boxers, and sandals on.
Danny Vice: Jimmy, why are my sandals on?
Jimmy Vice: Because you argued with me for 30 minutes last night about walking to Ramiro's for rolled tacos at 3 in the morning.
Danny Vice: And my bloody nose?
Jimmy Vice: I punched you in the face because you said you wouldn't bring me back any food!
Danny Vice: The selfish way is the best way.
Jimmy takes a seat at the foot of the bed while Danny finally, and slowly, sits up.
Danny Vice: We haven't had a night like that in a long time.
Jimmy Vice: You mean a night with illicit drug use, unprotected sex with multiple partners, and alcohol abuse to a point of physical and psychological damage is more of a guarantee than a possibility?
Danny Vice: I was going to go with a night where I wake up with a bloody nose and my blackout caused me to forget how. What the hell did you do last night?
Jimmy Vice: Ummmmmm........nothing.
Danny Vice: You know what I was just thinking?
Jimmy Vice: How good apple pancakes from Original Pancake House would taste right now?
Danny Vice: No, I was going with the fact this is probably how Thunder and Skyler feel everyday.
Jimmy Vice: Well Thunder basically looks, smells, sounds, and probably tastes like a used douche.
Danny Vice: Exactly.
Jimmy Vice: And Skyler is as confused about what he's fighting for as he is confused about his sexual orientation. I mean, is it fate, fury, his daughter, protecting his right to have anal sex with Seth Lerch...
Danny Vice: And did you notice he has a daughter, but not even the semblance of an intimate relationship with a woman? I'm calling right now that the guy either stole he from some bum under the freeway, or he got raped by a muscular chick and Jade popped out 9 months later.
Jimmy Vice: Pretty much. Those two are hardcore like Carlos Mencia is funny.
Danny Vice: Ok, get the hell out of my room now so I can sleep for another 11 hours. We'll train tomorrow.
Jimmy leaves, but flips the light switch 16 times before he exits, just to piss his brother off.
--------------------------------
"E=MC Hammered" - Fink
-Frank the Tank
--------------------------------
Jimmy Vice comes stumbling into the bedroom of his older brother, Danny.
Jimmy Vice: Right now, if I had to choose between a large glass of water with 2 Advil and taking the virginity of Adriana Lima, I would take the water and Advil with no regrets.
Danny groans loudly as he rolls over.
Danny Vice: If I had revolver with two bullets in it, I wouldn't even shoot you first to put you out of your suffering because the drummer inside of my skull is being too big of a prick.
Both brothers look like total sh*theads right now. Jimmy has basketball shorts, a torn t-shirt, and only one sock on. Danny has a white beater with blood on it from his somehow bloody nose, boxers, and sandals on.
Danny Vice: Jimmy, why are my sandals on?
Jimmy Vice: Because you argued with me for 30 minutes last night about walking to Ramiro's for rolled tacos at 3 in the morning.
Danny Vice: And my bloody nose?
Jimmy Vice: I punched you in the face because you said you wouldn't bring me back any food!
Danny Vice: The selfish way is the best way.
Jimmy takes a seat at the foot of the bed while Danny finally, and slowly, sits up.
Danny Vice: We haven't had a night like that in a long time.
Jimmy Vice: You mean a night with illicit drug use, unprotected sex with multiple partners, and alcohol abuse to a point of physical and psychological damage is more of a guarantee than a possibility?
Danny Vice: I was going to go with a night where I wake up with a bloody nose and my blackout caused me to forget how. What the hell did you do last night?
Jimmy Vice: Ummmmmm........nothing.
Danny Vice: You know what I was just thinking?
Jimmy Vice: How good apple pancakes from Original Pancake House would taste right now?
Danny Vice: No, I was going with the fact this is probably how Thunder and Skyler feel everyday.
Jimmy Vice: Well Thunder basically looks, smells, sounds, and probably tastes like a used douche.
Danny Vice: Exactly.
Jimmy Vice: And Skyler is as confused about what he's fighting for as he is confused about his sexual orientation. I mean, is it fate, fury, his daughter, protecting his right to have anal sex with Seth Lerch...
Danny Vice: And did you notice he has a daughter, but not even the semblance of an intimate relationship with a woman? I'm calling right now that the guy either stole he from some bum under the freeway, or he got raped by a muscular chick and Jade popped out 9 months later.
Jimmy Vice: Pretty much. Those two are hardcore like Carlos Mencia is funny.
Danny Vice: Ok, get the hell out of my room now so I can sleep for another 11 hours. We'll train tomorrow.
Jimmy leaves, but flips the light switch 16 times before he exits, just to piss his brother off.
--------------------------------
"E=MC Hammered" - Fink
