Post by Biggs on Oct 18, 2006 20:41:21 GMT -5
JJ Biggs is sitting on the couch in his living room. In his hands, which are pressed against his chest, is a white child blanket with pink hearts. He's snuggling in the blanket as he watches an episode of, "Dora The Explorer."
Jake Hudson is sitting at the table in the dining room. He's currently talking to someone on his cell phone, but he's interrupted by JJ's yelling.
JJ Biggs: Dora makes me feel funny.
Jake Hudson: What do you mean?
JJ Biggs: My penile. It, it, it's gotten bigger.
Jake Hudson: It's a cartoon, JJ.
JJ Biggs: She's so sexy. I just want to motorboat her titties.
Jake Hudson: She doesn't have any titties.
Jake, realizing this entire conversation can be heard by the person on the other line of the cell phone, quickly closes it immediately losing the connection with the person on the other line. He sighs as he rises to his feet and he walks into the bathroom. After a few moments, he enters the living room with a Playboy magazine in his hand. He throws it onto JJ's lap, who looks down at the woman on the cover before looking up at Jake with a confused look.
JJ Biggs: Who's that?
Jake Hudson: I don't know who the hell that is. It's probably Conrad Howell's mother or something.
JJ Biggs: She looks like Dora.
Jake Hudson: Sure, if you say so.
Jake grabs the magazine and he opens it up to a pictorial. He hands it to JJ, who releases his death grip on his blanket and brings the magazine to within three inches of his face.
JJ Biggs: You see the size of these nippies, Jake?
Jake Hudson: Indeed. She is in the Guinness Book of World Records for having the longest nipples. They measure at a length of about three inches or something.
JJ Biggs: Cool!
Jake Hudson: Indeed.
JJ Biggs: I wonder how big her penis is!
Jake Hudson: God damnit, JJ! The Sick Individuals fucked you up, man. Women, unless it's Shanon of the Sick Individuals, usually don't have schlongs. Just look at that magazine and stay where you are. I have to go make a phone call and I'll be back in a few minutes.
JJ Biggs: Okay!
Jake shakes his head as he walks back into the dining room. He takes a seat at the table once again and he dials a number into his cell phone quickly. After he finishes, he raises the phone up to his ear waiting for someone on the other line to answer.
Jake Hudson: Sorry about hanging up a few minutes ago, I had to deal with JJ. The Sick Individuals really did a number on him during the last episode of Slam. I figured this would all go away after a day or two, but the man still is thinking like a ten year old child!
Kyle Johnson || Vendetta: Is he going to be able to defend his titles at Slam this week? If not, I'm more than willing to take his place against The Sick Individuals.
Jake Hudson: Of course he'll be ready to compete! Besides, don't be a dumbass, Kyle. JJ Biggs and I have been undecided on whether or not you're going to become his partner. There's no way in hell you're ready to fight in a handicap match! I would be out of my mind to allow such a thing.
Kyle Johnson || Vendetta: Whatever. I just want to make sure JJ Biggs is going to be able to defend. I'd hate to see a man of his caliber in his current state. I watched the recent interview with Hank Brown and he was embarrassing himself.
Jake Hudson: I know, I know. He'll be fine, though. Even if he isn't better by the time Slam arrives this week, I'm sure he'll have enough sense to defend himself against an attack.
Kyle Johnson || Vendetta: Are you going to take him to the hospital or anything?
Jake Hudson: Hell no! Look, I know what I'm doing, I have it all under control. You just need to worry about continuing your training. Matter of fact, why aren't you training right now?
Kyle Johnson || Vendetta: I just finished my training session for today!
Jake Hudson: Well, start over again! I'm going to bring JJ Biggs down to the gym and I'm going to try to put him through some kind of training. Even though he's having some kind of mental problems and all of that, he still needs to get some training in. Well, he doesn't really need to because he's facing The Sick Individuals, but I still want him to have it to prepare for his match at the Pay-Per-View.
Kyle Johnson || Vendetta: Good call.
Jake Hudson: See you in a half hour.
Jake closes his cell phone and he slides it into his pocket. He gets to his feet and he walks into the living room. JJ, obviously still fascinated by the woman with the longest nipples, is still looking at the pictorial. Jake shakes his head as he takes a seat next to JJ Biggs.
JJ Biggs: You could cut glass with these nippies!
Jake Hudson: You probably could.
JJ Biggs: I want to take this magazine to Slam this week! I want to show everyone how big these nippies are!
Jake Hudson: No! That's a special edition and The Sick Individuals may take it from you and rip it up!
JJ Biggs: Why!?!
JJ Biggs pushes the magazine up against his chest. His eyes are bulging out and he looks as if he is about to cry.
Jake Hudson: Because they are interested in another version of this magazine. It's called, "Playgirl." They aren't normal. In fact, George W. Bush, our President, would probably like to lynch people like them.
JJ Biggs: Why?
Jake Hudson: Because they are gay, that's why.
Jake climbs to his feet and he extends his hand in JJ's direction. JJ, reluctant to release one hand from the magazine, eventually extends it and Jake pulls him up to his feet.
Jake Hudson: We're going to the gym. You can't just sit around all week and look at this magazine. You need to go do something, like train.
JJ Biggs: Can I take Ms. Nippies?
Jake Hudson: No!
JJ Biggs: Fine.
JJ sniffs a couple of times as he closes the magazine and he drops it down onto the couch. He picks up his blanket and he storms over to the front door. He opens it, but before he can exit, Jake runs over and stops him.
Jake Hudson: You're not taking that ugly blanket are you?
JJ Biggs: I am! I like to use it to shield my face when I see people like The Sick Individuals. Without it, I could go blind! And, it's not a blanket, it's a person. Let's call him, Spot.
Jake Hudson: Whatever.
JJ exits the house and he walks slowly down the stairs, making sure not to stumble. Jake shake his head as he closes the door behind him. JJ opens the passenger door of Jake's vehicle and he tries to enter the car, but he accidentally hits his head trying to get in.
JJ Biggs: Owie! Owie! Owie!
Jake Hudson: Shut the fuck up before I strangle you with that damn blanket!
JJ doesn't say another thing. Instead, he gets into the seat and he crosses his arms. His bottom lip is sticking out and he sniffs again. Jake, frustrated, gets into the driver's seat and he slams the door closed.
Jake Hudson: Thank you!
Jake sticks the key into the ignition, places the vehicle into the correct gear, and he takes off down the road. At the end of the street, he takes a right, disappearing out of view.[/b]
Jake Hudson is sitting at the table in the dining room. He's currently talking to someone on his cell phone, but he's interrupted by JJ's yelling.
JJ Biggs: Dora makes me feel funny.
Jake Hudson: What do you mean?
JJ Biggs: My penile. It, it, it's gotten bigger.
Jake Hudson: It's a cartoon, JJ.
JJ Biggs: She's so sexy. I just want to motorboat her titties.
Jake Hudson: She doesn't have any titties.
Jake, realizing this entire conversation can be heard by the person on the other line of the cell phone, quickly closes it immediately losing the connection with the person on the other line. He sighs as he rises to his feet and he walks into the bathroom. After a few moments, he enters the living room with a Playboy magazine in his hand. He throws it onto JJ's lap, who looks down at the woman on the cover before looking up at Jake with a confused look.
JJ Biggs: Who's that?
Jake Hudson: I don't know who the hell that is. It's probably Conrad Howell's mother or something.
JJ Biggs: She looks like Dora.
Jake Hudson: Sure, if you say so.
Jake grabs the magazine and he opens it up to a pictorial. He hands it to JJ, who releases his death grip on his blanket and brings the magazine to within three inches of his face.
JJ Biggs: You see the size of these nippies, Jake?
Jake Hudson: Indeed. She is in the Guinness Book of World Records for having the longest nipples. They measure at a length of about three inches or something.
JJ Biggs: Cool!
Jake Hudson: Indeed.
JJ Biggs: I wonder how big her penis is!
Jake Hudson: God damnit, JJ! The Sick Individuals fucked you up, man. Women, unless it's Shanon of the Sick Individuals, usually don't have schlongs. Just look at that magazine and stay where you are. I have to go make a phone call and I'll be back in a few minutes.
JJ Biggs: Okay!
Jake shakes his head as he walks back into the dining room. He takes a seat at the table once again and he dials a number into his cell phone quickly. After he finishes, he raises the phone up to his ear waiting for someone on the other line to answer.
Jake Hudson: Sorry about hanging up a few minutes ago, I had to deal with JJ. The Sick Individuals really did a number on him during the last episode of Slam. I figured this would all go away after a day or two, but the man still is thinking like a ten year old child!
Kyle Johnson || Vendetta: Is he going to be able to defend his titles at Slam this week? If not, I'm more than willing to take his place against The Sick Individuals.
Jake Hudson: Of course he'll be ready to compete! Besides, don't be a dumbass, Kyle. JJ Biggs and I have been undecided on whether or not you're going to become his partner. There's no way in hell you're ready to fight in a handicap match! I would be out of my mind to allow such a thing.
Kyle Johnson || Vendetta: Whatever. I just want to make sure JJ Biggs is going to be able to defend. I'd hate to see a man of his caliber in his current state. I watched the recent interview with Hank Brown and he was embarrassing himself.
Jake Hudson: I know, I know. He'll be fine, though. Even if he isn't better by the time Slam arrives this week, I'm sure he'll have enough sense to defend himself against an attack.
Kyle Johnson || Vendetta: Are you going to take him to the hospital or anything?
Jake Hudson: Hell no! Look, I know what I'm doing, I have it all under control. You just need to worry about continuing your training. Matter of fact, why aren't you training right now?
Kyle Johnson || Vendetta: I just finished my training session for today!
Jake Hudson: Well, start over again! I'm going to bring JJ Biggs down to the gym and I'm going to try to put him through some kind of training. Even though he's having some kind of mental problems and all of that, he still needs to get some training in. Well, he doesn't really need to because he's facing The Sick Individuals, but I still want him to have it to prepare for his match at the Pay-Per-View.
Kyle Johnson || Vendetta: Good call.
Jake Hudson: See you in a half hour.
Jake closes his cell phone and he slides it into his pocket. He gets to his feet and he walks into the living room. JJ, obviously still fascinated by the woman with the longest nipples, is still looking at the pictorial. Jake shakes his head as he takes a seat next to JJ Biggs.
JJ Biggs: You could cut glass with these nippies!
Jake Hudson: You probably could.
JJ Biggs: I want to take this magazine to Slam this week! I want to show everyone how big these nippies are!
Jake Hudson: No! That's a special edition and The Sick Individuals may take it from you and rip it up!
JJ Biggs: Why!?!
JJ Biggs pushes the magazine up against his chest. His eyes are bulging out and he looks as if he is about to cry.
Jake Hudson: Because they are interested in another version of this magazine. It's called, "Playgirl." They aren't normal. In fact, George W. Bush, our President, would probably like to lynch people like them.
JJ Biggs: Why?
Jake Hudson: Because they are gay, that's why.
Jake climbs to his feet and he extends his hand in JJ's direction. JJ, reluctant to release one hand from the magazine, eventually extends it and Jake pulls him up to his feet.
Jake Hudson: We're going to the gym. You can't just sit around all week and look at this magazine. You need to go do something, like train.
JJ Biggs: Can I take Ms. Nippies?
Jake Hudson: No!
JJ Biggs: Fine.
JJ sniffs a couple of times as he closes the magazine and he drops it down onto the couch. He picks up his blanket and he storms over to the front door. He opens it, but before he can exit, Jake runs over and stops him.
Jake Hudson: You're not taking that ugly blanket are you?
JJ Biggs: I am! I like to use it to shield my face when I see people like The Sick Individuals. Without it, I could go blind! And, it's not a blanket, it's a person. Let's call him, Spot.
Jake Hudson: Whatever.
JJ exits the house and he walks slowly down the stairs, making sure not to stumble. Jake shake his head as he closes the door behind him. JJ opens the passenger door of Jake's vehicle and he tries to enter the car, but he accidentally hits his head trying to get in.
JJ Biggs: Owie! Owie! Owie!
Jake Hudson: Shut the fuck up before I strangle you with that damn blanket!
JJ doesn't say another thing. Instead, he gets into the seat and he crosses his arms. His bottom lip is sticking out and he sniffs again. Jake, frustrated, gets into the driver's seat and he slams the door closed.
Jake Hudson: Thank you!
Jake sticks the key into the ignition, places the vehicle into the correct gear, and he takes off down the road. At the end of the street, he takes a right, disappearing out of view.[/b]
