Katherine Vs A Black Scottish Lesbian
Jan 24, 2016 17:06:49 GMT -5
Logan, Oblivion, and 2 more like this
Post by Lilith on Jan 24, 2016 17:06:49 GMT -5
Sunday, January 17th 2016
Raleigh, North Carolina - PNC Arena.
It was quite late at night in North Carolina. Slam had come to an end and the majority of the wrestlers and crew had left the arena, heading home on this cold January night. Katherine had been in the main event just a few hours ago and despite that she couldn’t help but feel a bit uncomfortable. She didn’t mean to hurt him, she just wanted to make him realize that she was his only true friend… the one and only girl who had ever cared about him in his entire life… but instead of doing that she had sent Oblivion to the hospital and injured him quite badly. She had spent hours trying to wash the blood of off her hands and despite there no longer being a single trace of that thick red liquid on her she couldn’t help but think she could still see and worse, smell it on her. Katherine almost burst into tears as she sat at her large oak desk with drawings scattered all around in front of her. She couldn’t handle this guilt, it was really starting to get to her… she had to tell someone, she had to tell Koala Lion. Would he be angry at her? Would he fire her? Tell her to go away and never come back? She didn’t know. But she couldn’t stomach this a minute longer. Just as Katherine was about to push herself up out of her chair her intercom went off which almost made her jump out of her skin.
“Katherine?”
Katherine just stared at the weird machine for several minutes.
”Kat? Hello? Is this thing working?”
Katherine finally pushed the big green button on the machine.
Katherine: Ummmmmm hello? Yes it’s working. Who’s this?
Assistant: It’s me, your assistant. Are you okay Kat? You sound… weird.
Katherine: Hey shut up! I don’t sound weird… YOU sound weird! You’re just some voice in a box or something. Who are you to tell me I sound weird!
Assistant: Sorry Kat I didn’t mean to upset you…
Katherine: I’M NOT UPSET!!! DO I SOUND LIKE I’M UPSET!!! I COULD RIP THIS WHOLE ARENA APART IF I WANTED TO!!! RAWRRRRRRRRRRR!!!
Katherine slammed her fists onto the table to try and prove just how much she wasn’t upset and how RAWR she actually was… it wasn’t working.
Katherine: What do you want anyway? I’m like SUPER busy in here… I’ve got a ton of drawings to get through before the end of the day!
Assistant: Sorry Kat. I just wanted to let you know that Koala Lion is waiting for you.
Katherines face flushed of all color as she totally expected Koala Lion to yell at her for what she had done earlier. And if almost killing Oblivion wasn’t bad enough, she had also accidentally set fire to the carpet in her office when she was trying to make herself some smores earlier in the day.
Katherine: Koala Lion? Why?...
Assistant: I’m not sure Kat but he said you had to hurry up.
Katherine sulked in her chair fully expecting to be fired by her lovely Koala.
Katherine: Do I need to pack my bags?
Katherine stared at the intercom machine for several moments waiting for her assistant to respond, but he never did. Katherine knew this was the end for her. She wiped a few tears away from her face and stood up ready to face whatever was about to come her way. Before Katherine was about to walk out of her office “The Only One” by Evanescence began to play quite faintly. Katherine looked quite confused for a while before she reached into her bra and pulled out a bright pink IPhone 6S Plus. She looked at it for a moment as it continued to ring in her hand.
Katherine: Hello? Yes I already know what the letter of the day is. …Yep I know what the number of the day is too. Mmhmmmmm… Okay. Yes… yes… Elmo! ELMO!!! If you’re going to yell I’m just going to hang up right here. Right okay listen I’m busy and don’t have time to handle your bullshit right now. I’ll talk to you later. Okay. Yes. Okay Bye.
Katherines hung up the phone as she pushed it back into her bra. She smartened down her body hugging business suit and steppe out of her office into the corridor. She totally expected Koala Lion to have been out here… but he was not. Surprisingly he was no where to be found. It was weird being back here when the show had come to an end. It had gone from a busy bustling work place… to a long lonely corridor with no one around. It was actually quite spooky. Katherine looked around the corridor trying to figure out where Koala would be but she couldn’t figure it out at all. She slowly walked down the long cold walkway trying not to spook herself out and luckily came across an old disheveled janitor, who hilariously reminded Katherine of Gravedigger. Katherine prodded him in his arm to get his attention and grinned brightly in his face.
Katherine: Ummmmmm hi. You don’t know where Koala Lion is do you? I think he wanted to see me…
Janitor: I believe he’s in Mr. Lerchs office, Ms. Phoenix.
Katherine raised an eyebrow at the strange man.
Katherine: Mr. Lerch? Who the heck is that.
Janitor: You know, darlin’… the owner of this place?
Katherine: Ohhhhhhhhh you mean Sethykins? Whats he doing in there?... OH GOD!!!
Katherine took off running as fast as she possibly could towards Seths office, she practically barged her way through the door with a massive bang and gasped for air as she looked at Seth and Koala Lion… who were sitting at opposite ends of the desk.
Katherine: Please don’t fire me. It wasn’t my fault. He’s a liar is what he is… nothing but a dirty filthy yucky LIAR!!! Please Koala Lion…
Katherine fell to her knees and started crying into Koala Lions lap as she continued to try and explain herself.
Katherine: I didn’t mean to do it Koala Lion… I just… and then blood everywhere and… and… and… PLEASE DON’T FIRE ME!!!
Katherine continued to cry into Koala Lions lap as he looked at her confused.
Koala Lion: Who were you talking to a minute ago, Kat?
Katherine looked up at Koala Lion tears still pouring down her face.
Katherine: I… I don’t understand. You mean my assistant? He told me that you wanted to see me…
Katherine tried desperately to wipe her tears away from her face as Koala Lion and Seth just continued to stare at her all mean and judgmental and stuff.
Koala Lion: You don’t have an assistant, Kat.
Katherine: Yes I do he… ohhhhhh is this why you’re firing me? Cos I got myself an assistant? I didn’t mean to! He was just so cute and he looked so adorable and stuff with my notepad in his paws… I’ll tell him he’s fired if it means I get to stay with you. I promise! I’ll fire him right now!
Koala Lion: No Kat, you literally don’t have an assistant.
Katherine: I don’t understand. Of course I do he was just talking to me you said so yourself.
Koala Lion: You were speaking into your intercom, yes?
Katherine: Yes…
Koala Lion: The only place your intercom goes is to this office, Kat.
Katherine: Nah ah! It goes to my assistant… or former assistant after I fire him.
Koala Lion: Did you make your teddy bear your assistant?
Katherine: HEY! That’s Mr Bear to you… Koala Lion.
Koala Lion: Kat…
Katherine: Yes I did… I thought that’d be alright. I didn’t mean to upset you, I’m sorry Koala Lion. Please forgive me.
Seth: You made a teddy bear your assistant?
Katherine looked at Seth angrily.
Katherine: You’re a bear!!!
Koala Lion: That isn’t why we wanted you in here, Kat.
Katherine: It’s not? This is cos of the Obi Teddy thing isn’t it… I ALREADY SAID I DIDNT MEAN TO DO THAT!!! Koala Lion you gots to believe me…
Koala Lion: Oh I do, Kat. Don't worry. Now take a seat. I am sure this is one big misunderstanding.
Katherine hesitantly stood to her feet and jumped up and sat down on Seths desk. Seth looked at Katherine annoyed as he turned his attention back onto Koala Lion.
Seth: You can't expect me to believe that, do you? She stabbed a superstar of the WCF roster! Do you expect me to do nothing about it!
Koala Lion: Now Mr. Lerch, you entrusted me with the position of Head of Talent Relations...
Seth: I didn't! Mr. Atreyu did! I don't even know why I would approve such a decision.
Koala Lion: You were probably drunk.
Seth: I can't be held to decisions like those while intoxicated! It won't stand up in court!
Koala Lion: Please, one case at a time, Mr. Lerch! We should focus on the fact that Oblivion was stabbed but that it was his own damn fault! For one: you are telling me that Oblivion couldn't fight off a woman!? The big monster that has terrorized the WCF for years can't protect himself against lil ol' Kat? HAHA! I call Tom foolery! I say Oblivion wanted to be stabbed! He wants to pin this whole thing on the WCF and all of corporate! He knows how unstable Kat is! He should have prepared himself! On top of that, Oblivion raped my Assistant of Talent Relations! You are lucky I didn't go after him myself! It could have jeopardized my whole operation!
Katherine: And because you care about me...?
Koala Lion: That works too! My point is that Oblivion had it coming! The way he acts! The way he talks! The life style he lives! He wanted to get penetrated! It is our job to execute the punishment required to keep this place together!
Seth: That isn't you jo...
Koala Lion: And if that means going to unorthodox methods to do so, you are going to have to accept that! My client...
Seth: Assistant...
Koala Lion: Assistant! Is one hundred percent innocent and as long as I am Head of Talent Relations I refuse to let Ms. Phoenix be punished for doing her job!
Katherine: Yeah!!!
Katherine pointed her finger at Seth all stubborn-like as she leaned down onto the desk giving Seth the perfect opportunity to look down her top. Katherine noticed that Seth was doing this but it didn’t bother her at all. She just looked around at some of the items he had on his desk and began to play with a couple of pens before looking back down at Seth.
Katherine: See Obi Teddy is all RAWRRRRRRR… BOOM… CRASH… BANG!!! And then someone finally BOOM…CRASH…BANG’s him and you want to get all silly about it? Pfffffffffft Sethykins I bet Obi Teddy has BOOM… CRASH… BANG’ed you many times hasn’t he… I bet he even did that to your precious little sister. Hmmmmm? Am I right, Sethykins?
Seth: No. You are not right. Can you get off my table now?
Katherine: Whoa your table?! I don’t see your name on it! But anyway yeah Koala Lion is right, Sethykins. Obi Teddy has been very very bad and naughty for a long long time now and it was about time someone sorted him and put him in time out, you know? So chill outtttttttt duuuuude!
Seth sighed as he continued to look down Katherines top.
Seth: Okay but if I have to deal with anything to do with this…
Katherine pressed her finger to Seths lip keeping him quiet.
Katherine: Shhhhhhh Sethy. You won’t hear a thing. You know why? Because I’m going to personally go and make sure that Obi is alright. Besides what sort of monster sues someone for being grrrrrr? Don’t be so silly!
Katherine continued to rummage through and play with a bunch of things on Seths desk as Seth just looked on growing even more annoyed. Katherine pulled out some paper work from one of the files and began to look at it.
Katherine: What’s this Sethykins? Its soooooooo boring! There aren’t even any drawing on here! Koala Lion pass me some crayons or something I’ll sort this out.
Seth: No!
Seth grabbed the piece of paper out of Katherines hands.
Katherine: HEY!!! What the hell is your problem!
Seth: Mr. Henson please keep your assistant under control.. and get off of my desk!
Katherine: Pfffffffft stop being such a bad mood bear, Sethykins. You know you love me reallyyyyyyy.
Katherine yanked the paper back out of Seths hand and struggled to read it.
Katherine: What is this, Sethy? What does this word say?
Seth sighed.
Seth: Katherine its next weeks Slam card. If you would go through and read all the paperwork you should be dealing with you would know this.
Katherine bust out laughing.
Katherine: Hahahaha silly Sethy… you know I can’t read!
Seth: You’re joking, right? What sort of assi-----
Katherine shoved the paper towards Seth, practically jamming it into his face.
Katherine: What does it say, huh? I’m in the main event again, right? Against lil Waddle Bear for world title? Of course that’s what I’m doing. I deserve nothing more than to be fighting that silly little grrrrr bear, right?
Seth: You aren’t in the main event, Katherine.
Her jaw just dropped as she stared at Seth in disbelief.
Katherine: I’m not? Whyyyyyyyyyyy?! I knew that stupid little jobber bear would be too scared to face me.
Katherine sulked as Koala Lion caught her attention.
Koala Lion: You aren’t in the main event this week Kat because you’re teaming up with me and…
Katherine grinned big at Koala Lion as she got all excited about teaming up with him.
Katherine: We’re teaming together? Really? Really really really?! REALLY?!!
Koala Lion: Yes we’re teaming with Mr Holden against…
Katherine: Mr Holden?! What sort of stupid name is that?! Who calls themselves Mr Holden?! “Hello there my name is Mr Holden”… what a stupid name! Hahahahahaha! I think Imma start calling him Jimmy… Jimmy Holden, has a nice ring to it don’t you think?
Koala Lion looked at Katherine as she just grinned into his face.
Koala Lion: Ummmmmmm…
Katherine: YEAH!!! It is Koala Lion! Anywayyyyyyyy who are we facing huh?! It better be someone fun…
Seth: You’re facing DeMarcus Jordan … WOULD YOU GET OFF MY DESK!!!
Katherine just completely ignored Seth as she thought about what he had just told her.
Katherine: DeMarcus Jordan… DeMarcus Jordan… how do I know that name?
Katherine just sat and thought about how she recognized that name whilst Seth got even angrier that she just sat there on his desk refusing to move.
Seth: Kat…
Katherine: Ohhhhhhhh is he that annoying black guy?
Seths jaw dropped.
Seth: Katherine you can not say that!
Katherine: Say what? That he’s annoying? Whyyyyyyyyyy?! He is! He is SUPER annoying! Have you not seen him on twitter? He just makes me want to run him out of town or something he’s so frustrating! Urghhhhhhhhhhhh!
Seth: Katherine!!! Stop it!
Katherine looked at Seth with an extremely innocent look on her face.
Katherine: Stop what?!
Seth: Saying racist things that is very much not okay!
Katherine raised an eyebrow at Seth not understanding what she had done wrong.
Katherine: How am I being racist Sethykins? I sooooooooo am not!
Seth: Yes you are! You can’t just call him black like that Katherine. It is very very wrong. And it is racist.
Katherine: I don’t get how it’s racist to call him black, Sethykins. Would it be racist if I called you a white drunk bastard bear?
Seth: Errrrrrr, no but…
Katherine: HA!!! See exactly! Anyway shhhhhh your noise I am like SUPER prepared for this.
Katherine reached into her bra and pulled out a little pink glittery notepad.
Katherine: See I gots notes and everything, perfect assistant right here Sethykins! See since becoming the Assistant of Talent Relations I have made it my job to try and learn absolutely everything I can about the jobber bears in this company… how else would I know how many cookies they deserve, right? And this guy is just sooooooo freaking ANNOYING!!! I mean I wrote down so many notes on this silly little jobber bear I almost ran out of room to draw some colorful pictures and stuffs... LOOK!!!
Katherine showed Seth the notepad she was holding in her hand, sure enough it was mostly scribbles which made no sense and barely any drawings at all. Katherine pulled her thick rimmed glasses out of her bra and put them on trying to act all serious and stuff.
Katherine: Now not only is this Black Bear the most boring, worthless jobber bear on the roster... he also sucks real bad at doing his promos. I mean I was watching him on my television and I was like… “the hell is this?!” cos I’m not going to lie, Sethykins… they were sooooooo freaking boring and like totally pointless. The silly little bear may as well just drop the DeMarcus name and just go by “black guy deals with everyday issues”. Yes he is that bad and boring. So I'd say first of all we should totally send this jobber bear off to some kinda shrink or something. Someone who can talk some sense into this silly little bad mood bear and just be like “listen here you bad mooded black bear bastard. Life does not treat you any differently because of your fur color… life treats you differently because you’re a miserable little bad mood bear who is in dire need of cuddles and stuff!”… which reminds me we need to hire someone to prove him with cuddles. Like at least ten a day. Cos no one wants to watch some silly little Black Bear getting all grrrrrrrr over basic every day stuffs!
Katherine looked up at Koala Lion and gave him a polite smile before turning her attention back onto Seth.
Katherine: I bet you never thought about doing this before did you Sethykins.
Seth: Errrrr no I didn't. I kinda have more important things to do than to write pointless things about my wrestlers.
Katherine: WHOA!!! Your wrestlers?! You think you own him because hes black or something Sethykins? Honestly you call me racist...
Katherine looked back down at her scribbles and smiled to herself.
Katherine: Then we need to send him off to some kinda acting class or something so he could maybe become a little bit more entertaining and stuff, you know? The last thing we want is for him to go out there in front of the WCF Galaxy and bore them all and put them all to sleeps with his nonsense talk... but that is literally just the tip of the iceberg of things which are wrong with this silly little jobber bear. Next we have his whole twitter presence. I mean I don't know what the WCF Galaxy thinks about how he acts on there... and I don't really care either but it's all wrong, Sethy. COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY WRONG!!! You don't just act like that on there and be all grrrrrrrr and stuffs constantly when you're supposed to be a happiful little bear. Happiful little bears shouldn't run off their mouths with the whole… “EVERYONE LOOK AT ME AND HOW AMAZING I AM!!!” attitude. I mean he even has a hashtag saying that he’s the best. Like… really?! He thinks he's the best? Compared to what? Has he even seen himself?! I bet he hasn't. I bet he doesn't even OWN a mirror. Soooooo next I suggest us getting him some kind of life coach or something... someone who can teach the silly little jobber bear how to behave in social situations and stuffs. So we get him that, we should also get him a mirror so he can see himself anddddd we should probably send him off for some more jobber bear wrestling training just so he can see how much he actually sucks in the ring.
Katherine stared at her notes for a few moments before looking back up at Koala Lion and Seth.
Katherine: I have just a few more notes on this jobber bear... I mean probably the biggest fault with this jobber bear is the fact that he's all stupid and grrrrrr and stuffs and then the second the happiful little bears in the toybox speak out against his nonsense talk he immediately calls them racists. He's literally all like “Wah Wah Wah you think I’m annoying? You’re only saying that because you’re racist!!!” “You think me constantly claiming everything racist is annoying?! You’re only saying that because I’m black!!!” I mean it's soooooooo freaking silly! It really really is. So I think we need to send him to some kind of tolerance camp or something which will teach him to stop thinking everything is racist when it reallyyyyyyy isn't. The most racist thing going on around that jobber bear is him constantly thinking everything and anything is racist... you know what I mean, Sethykins?
Katherine placed her notepad down onto the desk as she looked at Koala with a bright smile on her face.
Katherine: With our help Koala Lion we will make him all happiful and stuffs. We will fix him and fill him up with hope and stuffs and show him that despite his fur color he can actually achieve SOMETHING! Yayyyyyyyy!
Seth: Woah
Katherine: I know! Good, huh? I swear I am sooooooooo good at being the Assistant of Talent Relations. Like I’m the bestest assistant ever, right Koala Lion?
Koala Lion: You are, Kat.
Katherine: So who else we fighting? Steve Orbit, Big Train? Errrrrr… do we have any other black bears on the roster? Hmmmmmm!
Katherine thought about it for a few moments.
Katherine: Corey Black? Wait no… he just sucks. He’s not black at all.
Seth: Why does DeMarcus Jordans team need to be full of black guys, Katherine?
Katherine: Whoa, hey! That sounds really racist to me Sethykins! They don’t need to be black at all! Jeeeeeez you’re so racist Sethy!
Seth sighed at Katherine as he looked down at the Slam card.
Seth: He’s teaming up with Cormack MacNeill and…
Katherine: Hahahahaha what a stupid name! Who the heck is that?
Seth: What was all that about being a great assistant, Kat? I thought you had notes on all WCF superstars…
Once again Kat got right into Seths face and pushed her finger sharply into his chest.
Katherine: HEY!!! I don’t tell you how to do your job… don’t you try and tell me how to do mine… Sethykins!
Seth sighed as he looked at Katherine who was way too close for comfort.
Seth: He’s the big Scottish guy that returned last week. Now please get away from me…
Katherine just ignored Seth as she sat back on his desk stretching out her legs and rubbing her fingers up them.
Katherine: Ah yes of course. I did take down some notes on him but honestly I kinda just decided to erase them out and draw some pretty pictures in their place. Why? Because I didn’t think that silly little bear would stick around long enough to matter. I mean really he’s just some tubby little bear who loves his food and drink wayyyyyy too much… am I supposed to be impressed by that? Pffffffft I don’t think so! Everything he does, Sethykins… EVERYTHING!!! I can and will do much MUCH better than him. In fact let me prove it!
Seth: Huh?
With that Katherine jumped down off of Seths desk and ran out of the office slamming the door behind her. Seth and Koala Lion just stared at each other not really knowing what to say. Several minutes later Katherine burst through Seths office door again almost scaring the shit out of the WCF owner. She was now wearing a very short kilt which showed off her legs almost too well, she had an animal pelt around her shoulders and much to Sethykins annoyance she had some bagpipes in her hands. Katherine began to try and play the instrument as she once again jumped up onto Seths desk. Seth and Koala Lion covered their ears as Katherine continued to make the worst sounding noises ever.
Seth: Stop! STOP! STOP!!! STOP!!! SHUT UPPPPPP!!!
Katherine couldn’t hear him yelling as she continued to play the bagpipes extremely badly. Losing his temper Seth finally grabbed them out of her hands and threw them down onto the ground.
Katherine: HEY!!! I was playing those… asshole!
Seth: I don’t care, Kat!
Katherine just shrugged off Sethykins as she reached into her bra and pulled out a little silver hip flask.
Seth: What are you doing now?!
Seth watched as Katherine unscrewed the lid and started to down the liquid inside.
Seth: Hmmmmm maybe you aren’t all bad. Can I have some?
Katherine stopped drinking her drink to look at Seth with a puzzled look on her face.
Katherine: You want some apple juice? Why? Ohhhhhhh I see why you’re all confused and stuff. You think I have alcohols in here don’t you Sethy.
Seth: Well yeah…
Katherine burst out laughing as she shook her head looking super innocent and stuff.
Katherine: Hahahaha nope… its apple juice. Look…
Katherine turned her little silver flask upside over Seths head and drenched him with the remainder of her apple juice. Once again Sethykins looked furious.
Seth: WHAT THE FU---
Koala Lion: MR LERCH!!! Would you please mind your language. Thank you!
Katherine laughed as she looked at Sethy who was currently being all busy being wet and stuff.
Katherine: Hahahaha yeah Sethy! Why you always gotta be such a bad mood boudle bear bitch, huh? I mean here I am showing that anything that stupid little Scottish bear can do I can do WAYYYYYY better and you've got to sit there ruining my fun! Unbe-freaking-lievable!
Seth continued to struggle getting the apple juice off of him as he looked at her with anger in his adorable little eyes.
Seth: How the hell are you doing that right now?! You're doing nothing but being a crazy fucking bitch!
Koala Lion: MR LERCH!!!
Katherine held her hand up in Koala Lions direction as she continued talking to Apple Seth.
Katherine: EXACTLY! I'm acting all crazy right now... crazy like that silly little Scottish bear has to be if he really thinks that he pulls off...
Katherine motioned to everything about her.
Katherine:...THIS! Better than I do. I drink better than he does, I eat cookies better than he does... And I DEFINITELY wear skirts better than he does.
Seth: That's a kilt, Katherine.
Katherine: No, Sethy... it's a skirt and I look DAMN good in it, right?
Katherine sat up on her knees to show off her skirt as Seth practically drooled all over her.
Katherine: See exactly. So it doesn't matter how many times that silly little tubby Scottish bear comes and goes... I will always be better than him at everything he does and I bet it really really upsets him. But luckily for him I am the bestest assistant EVER and as such Imma send him off to the follow things...
Katherine cleared her throat as she looks back up at Seth and Koala Lion with a sweet smile on her face.
Katherine: First of all what is the first thing you think when you look at Cormack Bear? "Ewwwwww what a fat gross mess!", right? Sooooo first of all imma send him off to fat fighters and hopefully we can get that fatty to shed some weight. And then I'll send him clothes shopping so that he can buy himself some manly clothes for once. And then finally... Meh who am I kidding that tubby little haggis loving weirdo is way too far gone to be saved now. I mean I'm the greatest freaking assistant EVER but I'm not a miracle worker. No one can save Cormack Bear... We may as well just take him into the woods and put him down.
Katherine pulled a sad face for a moment before laughing to herself again.
Katherine: Hahaha silly little Cormack Bear... What a complete and utter waste of space.
Katherine turned her attention back onto Seth and gave him a happiful smile.
Katherine: So who is our final opponent, huh Sethy? Some other waste of space jobber bear I will have to try my hardest to save from being completely and utterly worthless? Is it Daggy? I bet it is isn't it! Hahahaha oh god Sethy why did you do that! Daggy will cry so much when he loses yet again!
Seth: It isn’t Dag Riddik, Katherine… it’s Tiffany White and---
Katherine: WHOA!!! Wait… Tiffany? You mean Tiffy Bear? Hahahaha Sethy why have you put her with that weird Black Bear and the tubby little Scottish weirdo? Tiffy Bear doesn’t even like guys that’s why I love her so much! She’s all “roar roar roar fuckboi this” and errrrrrr “babygurl that!” Suuuuuuuuure she might be like a major lesbo bear but she’s super freaking cute! Have you seen what she looks like Sethy? I bet you’d be all over that. You did a good job hiring her Koala Lion.
Katherine smiled brightly at Koala Lion and clapped her hands excitedly.
Katherine: Oh my godddddd I can not wait to play with her! Did you tell Sethy that I wanted to adopt her Koala Lion? I can’t wait to take her out shopping and do her hair and makeup and put an adorable little pink bow in her hair! Imma make her look soooooooooo cuuuuuuute! But I mean as adorable as she may be there are two issues with her. You can both probably guess what they are, huh? First of all she has this weird “Roarrrrrrr I hate all guys” thing going on and yeahhhhhh I get it guys usually are all smelly and stuff but they aren’t THAT bad… especially not my Koala Lion. Has Tiffy Bear never seen how cute my Koala Lion is or something? Cos you are Koala Lion… you’re a ruggedly handsome beast.
Katherine winked at Koala Lion as she twiddled her hair around her fingers a bit.
Katherine: But the silliest thing of all is that lil Tiffy Bear thinks that she is going to become the greatest female fighter in WCF history… we all saw her adorable little promo last week. So what I’m going to do, Koala Lion… is I’m going to get one of these backstage workers here to create a video displaying all the past female wrestlers this place has seen. BUT!!! I’m only going to show their worst parts… I’m going to show Sarah Teddy losing to the man who is best known for peeing his pants, Eric Bear. I’m also going to show that bubble gun bitch bear Ana getting completely and utterly destroyed by ME a couple of years ago and being set on fire like the worthless little bear she always was. And then finally Imma show every other female fighter who has ever stepped through that curtain and show Tiffy Bear how utterly worthless and forgettable they all were… cos I cant even remember who the hell they were and she definitely won’t remember them. And then right… get this Koala Lion… I will make them show me and only show the bestest parts. Like… me beating the hell out of Badger Bear and making him cry when I took his title away from him, me becoming the Television Champion, the Elite Champion… almost beating Sarah Teddy WITH ONLY ONE MOVE!!! I will show how I manipulated and controlled Sarah Teddy and made the bestest and only female World Champion my bitch! And then after allllllllll that lil Tiffy bear will realize that like her I just looooooooooveeeeeee using my fists… I just kinda prefer to use them in a different way…
Katherine once again winked at Koala Lion and burst out laughing.
Katherine: If you don’t understand what I mean by that Tiffy Bear... I mean I'm going to chain you up and rape you over and over and over again to the point where you'd wish you never crossed me. Every time someone acts naughty or doesn't follow the rules it's going to be taken out on you. You can tryyyyyyyyy to pretend that you don't want that but we both know that you do. You are intimidated by me because I am everything you never will be. In fact you are kinda icky and just ewwwwww but I do need someone to take my aggression out on. Don't worry Tiffy, it won't hurt ... much. And you'll thank me later for it because who DOESN'T want to be raped by someone who looks as good as me?
Seth finally stopped being a grumpy little bear for a moment as he smiled at Katherine.
Seth: I’ve seen her stuff, Kat… she’d probably like that. And I would like to watch that too…
Koala Lion: Oh my…
Katherine: Hahahahahahaha no he’s right Koala Lion! I guess it really can't be classed as rape if she wants it… and we all know she wants it. So forget about that stinky Black Bear because when I am done with Tiffy Bear, she’ll only be thinking about ME!
Katherine finally jumped down off of Seths desk and grabbed Koala Lion up out of his chair by his paw.
Katherine: Anywayyyyyyyyyy I’d love to stay and chat, Sethykins… but I’m a very busy girl and I’ve got lots and lots of things I’ve gotta do! Soooooo I’ll see you later.
Katherine blew a kiss to Seth as she grabbed Koala Lion by his paw and lead him out of Seths office closing the door behind her.
Raleigh, North Carolina - PNC Arena.
It was quite late at night in North Carolina. Slam had come to an end and the majority of the wrestlers and crew had left the arena, heading home on this cold January night. Katherine had been in the main event just a few hours ago and despite that she couldn’t help but feel a bit uncomfortable. She didn’t mean to hurt him, she just wanted to make him realize that she was his only true friend… the one and only girl who had ever cared about him in his entire life… but instead of doing that she had sent Oblivion to the hospital and injured him quite badly. She had spent hours trying to wash the blood of off her hands and despite there no longer being a single trace of that thick red liquid on her she couldn’t help but think she could still see and worse, smell it on her. Katherine almost burst into tears as she sat at her large oak desk with drawings scattered all around in front of her. She couldn’t handle this guilt, it was really starting to get to her… she had to tell someone, she had to tell Koala Lion. Would he be angry at her? Would he fire her? Tell her to go away and never come back? She didn’t know. But she couldn’t stomach this a minute longer. Just as Katherine was about to push herself up out of her chair her intercom went off which almost made her jump out of her skin.
“Katherine?”
Katherine just stared at the weird machine for several minutes.
”Kat? Hello? Is this thing working?”
Katherine finally pushed the big green button on the machine.
Katherine: Ummmmmm hello? Yes it’s working. Who’s this?
Assistant: It’s me, your assistant. Are you okay Kat? You sound… weird.
Katherine: Hey shut up! I don’t sound weird… YOU sound weird! You’re just some voice in a box or something. Who are you to tell me I sound weird!
Assistant: Sorry Kat I didn’t mean to upset you…
Katherine: I’M NOT UPSET!!! DO I SOUND LIKE I’M UPSET!!! I COULD RIP THIS WHOLE ARENA APART IF I WANTED TO!!! RAWRRRRRRRRRRR!!!
Katherine slammed her fists onto the table to try and prove just how much she wasn’t upset and how RAWR she actually was… it wasn’t working.
Katherine: What do you want anyway? I’m like SUPER busy in here… I’ve got a ton of drawings to get through before the end of the day!
Assistant: Sorry Kat. I just wanted to let you know that Koala Lion is waiting for you.
Katherines face flushed of all color as she totally expected Koala Lion to yell at her for what she had done earlier. And if almost killing Oblivion wasn’t bad enough, she had also accidentally set fire to the carpet in her office when she was trying to make herself some smores earlier in the day.
Katherine: Koala Lion? Why?...
Assistant: I’m not sure Kat but he said you had to hurry up.
Katherine sulked in her chair fully expecting to be fired by her lovely Koala.
Katherine: Do I need to pack my bags?
Katherine stared at the intercom machine for several moments waiting for her assistant to respond, but he never did. Katherine knew this was the end for her. She wiped a few tears away from her face and stood up ready to face whatever was about to come her way. Before Katherine was about to walk out of her office “The Only One” by Evanescence began to play quite faintly. Katherine looked quite confused for a while before she reached into her bra and pulled out a bright pink IPhone 6S Plus. She looked at it for a moment as it continued to ring in her hand.
Katherine: Hello? Yes I already know what the letter of the day is. …Yep I know what the number of the day is too. Mmhmmmmm… Okay. Yes… yes… Elmo! ELMO!!! If you’re going to yell I’m just going to hang up right here. Right okay listen I’m busy and don’t have time to handle your bullshit right now. I’ll talk to you later. Okay. Yes. Okay Bye.
Katherines hung up the phone as she pushed it back into her bra. She smartened down her body hugging business suit and steppe out of her office into the corridor. She totally expected Koala Lion to have been out here… but he was not. Surprisingly he was no where to be found. It was weird being back here when the show had come to an end. It had gone from a busy bustling work place… to a long lonely corridor with no one around. It was actually quite spooky. Katherine looked around the corridor trying to figure out where Koala would be but she couldn’t figure it out at all. She slowly walked down the long cold walkway trying not to spook herself out and luckily came across an old disheveled janitor, who hilariously reminded Katherine of Gravedigger. Katherine prodded him in his arm to get his attention and grinned brightly in his face.
Katherine: Ummmmmm hi. You don’t know where Koala Lion is do you? I think he wanted to see me…
Janitor: I believe he’s in Mr. Lerchs office, Ms. Phoenix.
Katherine raised an eyebrow at the strange man.
Katherine: Mr. Lerch? Who the heck is that.
Janitor: You know, darlin’… the owner of this place?
Katherine: Ohhhhhhhhh you mean Sethykins? Whats he doing in there?... OH GOD!!!
Katherine took off running as fast as she possibly could towards Seths office, she practically barged her way through the door with a massive bang and gasped for air as she looked at Seth and Koala Lion… who were sitting at opposite ends of the desk.
Katherine: Please don’t fire me. It wasn’t my fault. He’s a liar is what he is… nothing but a dirty filthy yucky LIAR!!! Please Koala Lion…
Katherine fell to her knees and started crying into Koala Lions lap as she continued to try and explain herself.
Katherine: I didn’t mean to do it Koala Lion… I just… and then blood everywhere and… and… and… PLEASE DON’T FIRE ME!!!
Katherine continued to cry into Koala Lions lap as he looked at her confused.
Koala Lion: Who were you talking to a minute ago, Kat?
Katherine looked up at Koala Lion tears still pouring down her face.
Katherine: I… I don’t understand. You mean my assistant? He told me that you wanted to see me…
Katherine tried desperately to wipe her tears away from her face as Koala Lion and Seth just continued to stare at her all mean and judgmental and stuff.
Koala Lion: You don’t have an assistant, Kat.
Katherine: Yes I do he… ohhhhhh is this why you’re firing me? Cos I got myself an assistant? I didn’t mean to! He was just so cute and he looked so adorable and stuff with my notepad in his paws… I’ll tell him he’s fired if it means I get to stay with you. I promise! I’ll fire him right now!
Koala Lion: No Kat, you literally don’t have an assistant.
Katherine: I don’t understand. Of course I do he was just talking to me you said so yourself.
Koala Lion: You were speaking into your intercom, yes?
Katherine: Yes…
Koala Lion: The only place your intercom goes is to this office, Kat.
Katherine: Nah ah! It goes to my assistant… or former assistant after I fire him.
Koala Lion: Did you make your teddy bear your assistant?
Katherine: HEY! That’s Mr Bear to you… Koala Lion.
Koala Lion: Kat…
Katherine: Yes I did… I thought that’d be alright. I didn’t mean to upset you, I’m sorry Koala Lion. Please forgive me.
Seth: You made a teddy bear your assistant?
Katherine looked at Seth angrily.
Katherine: You’re a bear!!!
Koala Lion: That isn’t why we wanted you in here, Kat.
Katherine: It’s not? This is cos of the Obi Teddy thing isn’t it… I ALREADY SAID I DIDNT MEAN TO DO THAT!!! Koala Lion you gots to believe me…
Koala Lion: Oh I do, Kat. Don't worry. Now take a seat. I am sure this is one big misunderstanding.
Katherine hesitantly stood to her feet and jumped up and sat down on Seths desk. Seth looked at Katherine annoyed as he turned his attention back onto Koala Lion.
Seth: You can't expect me to believe that, do you? She stabbed a superstar of the WCF roster! Do you expect me to do nothing about it!
Koala Lion: Now Mr. Lerch, you entrusted me with the position of Head of Talent Relations...
Seth: I didn't! Mr. Atreyu did! I don't even know why I would approve such a decision.
Koala Lion: You were probably drunk.
Seth: I can't be held to decisions like those while intoxicated! It won't stand up in court!
Koala Lion: Please, one case at a time, Mr. Lerch! We should focus on the fact that Oblivion was stabbed but that it was his own damn fault! For one: you are telling me that Oblivion couldn't fight off a woman!? The big monster that has terrorized the WCF for years can't protect himself against lil ol' Kat? HAHA! I call Tom foolery! I say Oblivion wanted to be stabbed! He wants to pin this whole thing on the WCF and all of corporate! He knows how unstable Kat is! He should have prepared himself! On top of that, Oblivion raped my Assistant of Talent Relations! You are lucky I didn't go after him myself! It could have jeopardized my whole operation!
Katherine: And because you care about me...?
Koala Lion: That works too! My point is that Oblivion had it coming! The way he acts! The way he talks! The life style he lives! He wanted to get penetrated! It is our job to execute the punishment required to keep this place together!
Seth: That isn't you jo...
Koala Lion: And if that means going to unorthodox methods to do so, you are going to have to accept that! My client...
Seth: Assistant...
Koala Lion: Assistant! Is one hundred percent innocent and as long as I am Head of Talent Relations I refuse to let Ms. Phoenix be punished for doing her job!
Katherine: Yeah!!!
Katherine pointed her finger at Seth all stubborn-like as she leaned down onto the desk giving Seth the perfect opportunity to look down her top. Katherine noticed that Seth was doing this but it didn’t bother her at all. She just looked around at some of the items he had on his desk and began to play with a couple of pens before looking back down at Seth.
Katherine: See Obi Teddy is all RAWRRRRRRR… BOOM… CRASH… BANG!!! And then someone finally BOOM…CRASH…BANG’s him and you want to get all silly about it? Pfffffffffft Sethykins I bet Obi Teddy has BOOM… CRASH… BANG’ed you many times hasn’t he… I bet he even did that to your precious little sister. Hmmmmm? Am I right, Sethykins?
Seth: No. You are not right. Can you get off my table now?
Katherine: Whoa your table?! I don’t see your name on it! But anyway yeah Koala Lion is right, Sethykins. Obi Teddy has been very very bad and naughty for a long long time now and it was about time someone sorted him and put him in time out, you know? So chill outtttttttt duuuuude!
Seth sighed as he continued to look down Katherines top.
Seth: Okay but if I have to deal with anything to do with this…
Katherine pressed her finger to Seths lip keeping him quiet.
Katherine: Shhhhhhh Sethy. You won’t hear a thing. You know why? Because I’m going to personally go and make sure that Obi is alright. Besides what sort of monster sues someone for being grrrrrr? Don’t be so silly!
Katherine continued to rummage through and play with a bunch of things on Seths desk as Seth just looked on growing even more annoyed. Katherine pulled out some paper work from one of the files and began to look at it.
Katherine: What’s this Sethykins? Its soooooooo boring! There aren’t even any drawing on here! Koala Lion pass me some crayons or something I’ll sort this out.
Seth: No!
Seth grabbed the piece of paper out of Katherines hands.
Katherine: HEY!!! What the hell is your problem!
Seth: Mr. Henson please keep your assistant under control.. and get off of my desk!
Katherine: Pfffffffft stop being such a bad mood bear, Sethykins. You know you love me reallyyyyyyy.
Katherine yanked the paper back out of Seths hand and struggled to read it.
Katherine: What is this, Sethy? What does this word say?
Seth sighed.
Seth: Katherine its next weeks Slam card. If you would go through and read all the paperwork you should be dealing with you would know this.
Katherine bust out laughing.
Katherine: Hahahaha silly Sethy… you know I can’t read!
Seth: You’re joking, right? What sort of assi-----
Katherine shoved the paper towards Seth, practically jamming it into his face.
Katherine: What does it say, huh? I’m in the main event again, right? Against lil Waddle Bear for world title? Of course that’s what I’m doing. I deserve nothing more than to be fighting that silly little grrrrr bear, right?
Seth: You aren’t in the main event, Katherine.
Her jaw just dropped as she stared at Seth in disbelief.
Katherine: I’m not? Whyyyyyyyyyyy?! I knew that stupid little jobber bear would be too scared to face me.
Katherine sulked as Koala Lion caught her attention.
Koala Lion: You aren’t in the main event this week Kat because you’re teaming up with me and…
Katherine grinned big at Koala Lion as she got all excited about teaming up with him.
Katherine: We’re teaming together? Really? Really really really?! REALLY?!!
Koala Lion: Yes we’re teaming with Mr Holden against…
Katherine: Mr Holden?! What sort of stupid name is that?! Who calls themselves Mr Holden?! “Hello there my name is Mr Holden”… what a stupid name! Hahahahahaha! I think Imma start calling him Jimmy… Jimmy Holden, has a nice ring to it don’t you think?
Koala Lion looked at Katherine as she just grinned into his face.
Koala Lion: Ummmmmmm…
Katherine: YEAH!!! It is Koala Lion! Anywayyyyyyyy who are we facing huh?! It better be someone fun…
Seth: You’re facing DeMarcus Jordan … WOULD YOU GET OFF MY DESK!!!
Katherine just completely ignored Seth as she thought about what he had just told her.
Katherine: DeMarcus Jordan… DeMarcus Jordan… how do I know that name?
Katherine just sat and thought about how she recognized that name whilst Seth got even angrier that she just sat there on his desk refusing to move.
Seth: Kat…
Katherine: Ohhhhhhhh is he that annoying black guy?
Seths jaw dropped.
Seth: Katherine you can not say that!
Katherine: Say what? That he’s annoying? Whyyyyyyyyyy?! He is! He is SUPER annoying! Have you not seen him on twitter? He just makes me want to run him out of town or something he’s so frustrating! Urghhhhhhhhhhhh!
Seth: Katherine!!! Stop it!
Katherine looked at Seth with an extremely innocent look on her face.
Katherine: Stop what?!
Seth: Saying racist things that is very much not okay!
Katherine raised an eyebrow at Seth not understanding what she had done wrong.
Katherine: How am I being racist Sethykins? I sooooooooo am not!
Seth: Yes you are! You can’t just call him black like that Katherine. It is very very wrong. And it is racist.
Katherine: I don’t get how it’s racist to call him black, Sethykins. Would it be racist if I called you a white drunk bastard bear?
Seth: Errrrrrr, no but…
Katherine: HA!!! See exactly! Anyway shhhhhh your noise I am like SUPER prepared for this.
Katherine reached into her bra and pulled out a little pink glittery notepad.
Katherine: See I gots notes and everything, perfect assistant right here Sethykins! See since becoming the Assistant of Talent Relations I have made it my job to try and learn absolutely everything I can about the jobber bears in this company… how else would I know how many cookies they deserve, right? And this guy is just sooooooo freaking ANNOYING!!! I mean I wrote down so many notes on this silly little jobber bear I almost ran out of room to draw some colorful pictures and stuffs... LOOK!!!
Katherine showed Seth the notepad she was holding in her hand, sure enough it was mostly scribbles which made no sense and barely any drawings at all. Katherine pulled her thick rimmed glasses out of her bra and put them on trying to act all serious and stuff.
Katherine: Now not only is this Black Bear the most boring, worthless jobber bear on the roster... he also sucks real bad at doing his promos. I mean I was watching him on my television and I was like… “the hell is this?!” cos I’m not going to lie, Sethykins… they were sooooooo freaking boring and like totally pointless. The silly little bear may as well just drop the DeMarcus name and just go by “black guy deals with everyday issues”. Yes he is that bad and boring. So I'd say first of all we should totally send this jobber bear off to some kinda shrink or something. Someone who can talk some sense into this silly little bad mood bear and just be like “listen here you bad mooded black bear bastard. Life does not treat you any differently because of your fur color… life treats you differently because you’re a miserable little bad mood bear who is in dire need of cuddles and stuff!”… which reminds me we need to hire someone to prove him with cuddles. Like at least ten a day. Cos no one wants to watch some silly little Black Bear getting all grrrrrrrr over basic every day stuffs!
Katherine looked up at Koala Lion and gave him a polite smile before turning her attention back onto Seth.
Katherine: I bet you never thought about doing this before did you Sethykins.
Seth: Errrrr no I didn't. I kinda have more important things to do than to write pointless things about my wrestlers.
Katherine: WHOA!!! Your wrestlers?! You think you own him because hes black or something Sethykins? Honestly you call me racist...
Katherine looked back down at her scribbles and smiled to herself.
Katherine: Then we need to send him off to some kinda acting class or something so he could maybe become a little bit more entertaining and stuff, you know? The last thing we want is for him to go out there in front of the WCF Galaxy and bore them all and put them all to sleeps with his nonsense talk... but that is literally just the tip of the iceberg of things which are wrong with this silly little jobber bear. Next we have his whole twitter presence. I mean I don't know what the WCF Galaxy thinks about how he acts on there... and I don't really care either but it's all wrong, Sethy. COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY WRONG!!! You don't just act like that on there and be all grrrrrrrr and stuffs constantly when you're supposed to be a happiful little bear. Happiful little bears shouldn't run off their mouths with the whole… “EVERYONE LOOK AT ME AND HOW AMAZING I AM!!!” attitude. I mean he even has a hashtag saying that he’s the best. Like… really?! He thinks he's the best? Compared to what? Has he even seen himself?! I bet he hasn't. I bet he doesn't even OWN a mirror. Soooooo next I suggest us getting him some kind of life coach or something... someone who can teach the silly little jobber bear how to behave in social situations and stuffs. So we get him that, we should also get him a mirror so he can see himself anddddd we should probably send him off for some more jobber bear wrestling training just so he can see how much he actually sucks in the ring.
Katherine stared at her notes for a few moments before looking back up at Koala Lion and Seth.
Katherine: I have just a few more notes on this jobber bear... I mean probably the biggest fault with this jobber bear is the fact that he's all stupid and grrrrrr and stuffs and then the second the happiful little bears in the toybox speak out against his nonsense talk he immediately calls them racists. He's literally all like “Wah Wah Wah you think I’m annoying? You’re only saying that because you’re racist!!!” “You think me constantly claiming everything racist is annoying?! You’re only saying that because I’m black!!!” I mean it's soooooooo freaking silly! It really really is. So I think we need to send him to some kind of tolerance camp or something which will teach him to stop thinking everything is racist when it reallyyyyyyy isn't. The most racist thing going on around that jobber bear is him constantly thinking everything and anything is racist... you know what I mean, Sethykins?
Katherine placed her notepad down onto the desk as she looked at Koala with a bright smile on her face.
Katherine: With our help Koala Lion we will make him all happiful and stuffs. We will fix him and fill him up with hope and stuffs and show him that despite his fur color he can actually achieve SOMETHING! Yayyyyyyyy!
Seth: Woah
Katherine: I know! Good, huh? I swear I am sooooooooo good at being the Assistant of Talent Relations. Like I’m the bestest assistant ever, right Koala Lion?
Koala Lion: You are, Kat.
Katherine: So who else we fighting? Steve Orbit, Big Train? Errrrrr… do we have any other black bears on the roster? Hmmmmmm!
Katherine thought about it for a few moments.
Katherine: Corey Black? Wait no… he just sucks. He’s not black at all.
Seth: Why does DeMarcus Jordans team need to be full of black guys, Katherine?
Katherine: Whoa, hey! That sounds really racist to me Sethykins! They don’t need to be black at all! Jeeeeeez you’re so racist Sethy!
Seth sighed at Katherine as he looked down at the Slam card.
Seth: He’s teaming up with Cormack MacNeill and…
Katherine: Hahahahaha what a stupid name! Who the heck is that?
Seth: What was all that about being a great assistant, Kat? I thought you had notes on all WCF superstars…
Once again Kat got right into Seths face and pushed her finger sharply into his chest.
Katherine: HEY!!! I don’t tell you how to do your job… don’t you try and tell me how to do mine… Sethykins!
Seth sighed as he looked at Katherine who was way too close for comfort.
Seth: He’s the big Scottish guy that returned last week. Now please get away from me…
Katherine just ignored Seth as she sat back on his desk stretching out her legs and rubbing her fingers up them.
Katherine: Ah yes of course. I did take down some notes on him but honestly I kinda just decided to erase them out and draw some pretty pictures in their place. Why? Because I didn’t think that silly little bear would stick around long enough to matter. I mean really he’s just some tubby little bear who loves his food and drink wayyyyyy too much… am I supposed to be impressed by that? Pffffffft I don’t think so! Everything he does, Sethykins… EVERYTHING!!! I can and will do much MUCH better than him. In fact let me prove it!
Seth: Huh?
With that Katherine jumped down off of Seths desk and ran out of the office slamming the door behind her. Seth and Koala Lion just stared at each other not really knowing what to say. Several minutes later Katherine burst through Seths office door again almost scaring the shit out of the WCF owner. She was now wearing a very short kilt which showed off her legs almost too well, she had an animal pelt around her shoulders and much to Sethykins annoyance she had some bagpipes in her hands. Katherine began to try and play the instrument as she once again jumped up onto Seths desk. Seth and Koala Lion covered their ears as Katherine continued to make the worst sounding noises ever.
Seth: Stop! STOP! STOP!!! STOP!!! SHUT UPPPPPP!!!
Katherine couldn’t hear him yelling as she continued to play the bagpipes extremely badly. Losing his temper Seth finally grabbed them out of her hands and threw them down onto the ground.
Katherine: HEY!!! I was playing those… asshole!
Seth: I don’t care, Kat!
Katherine just shrugged off Sethykins as she reached into her bra and pulled out a little silver hip flask.
Seth: What are you doing now?!
Seth watched as Katherine unscrewed the lid and started to down the liquid inside.
Seth: Hmmmmm maybe you aren’t all bad. Can I have some?
Katherine stopped drinking her drink to look at Seth with a puzzled look on her face.
Katherine: You want some apple juice? Why? Ohhhhhhh I see why you’re all confused and stuff. You think I have alcohols in here don’t you Sethy.
Seth: Well yeah…
Katherine burst out laughing as she shook her head looking super innocent and stuff.
Katherine: Hahahaha nope… its apple juice. Look…
Katherine turned her little silver flask upside over Seths head and drenched him with the remainder of her apple juice. Once again Sethykins looked furious.
Seth: WHAT THE FU---
Koala Lion: MR LERCH!!! Would you please mind your language. Thank you!
Katherine laughed as she looked at Sethy who was currently being all busy being wet and stuff.
Katherine: Hahahaha yeah Sethy! Why you always gotta be such a bad mood boudle bear bitch, huh? I mean here I am showing that anything that stupid little Scottish bear can do I can do WAYYYYYY better and you've got to sit there ruining my fun! Unbe-freaking-lievable!
Seth continued to struggle getting the apple juice off of him as he looked at her with anger in his adorable little eyes.
Seth: How the hell are you doing that right now?! You're doing nothing but being a crazy fucking bitch!
Koala Lion: MR LERCH!!!
Katherine held her hand up in Koala Lions direction as she continued talking to Apple Seth.
Katherine: EXACTLY! I'm acting all crazy right now... crazy like that silly little Scottish bear has to be if he really thinks that he pulls off...
Katherine motioned to everything about her.
Katherine:...THIS! Better than I do. I drink better than he does, I eat cookies better than he does... And I DEFINITELY wear skirts better than he does.
Seth: That's a kilt, Katherine.
Katherine: No, Sethy... it's a skirt and I look DAMN good in it, right?
Katherine sat up on her knees to show off her skirt as Seth practically drooled all over her.
Katherine: See exactly. So it doesn't matter how many times that silly little tubby Scottish bear comes and goes... I will always be better than him at everything he does and I bet it really really upsets him. But luckily for him I am the bestest assistant EVER and as such Imma send him off to the follow things...
Katherine cleared her throat as she looks back up at Seth and Koala Lion with a sweet smile on her face.
Katherine: First of all what is the first thing you think when you look at Cormack Bear? "Ewwwwww what a fat gross mess!", right? Sooooo first of all imma send him off to fat fighters and hopefully we can get that fatty to shed some weight. And then I'll send him clothes shopping so that he can buy himself some manly clothes for once. And then finally... Meh who am I kidding that tubby little haggis loving weirdo is way too far gone to be saved now. I mean I'm the greatest freaking assistant EVER but I'm not a miracle worker. No one can save Cormack Bear... We may as well just take him into the woods and put him down.
Katherine pulled a sad face for a moment before laughing to herself again.
Katherine: Hahaha silly little Cormack Bear... What a complete and utter waste of space.
Katherine turned her attention back onto Seth and gave him a happiful smile.
Katherine: So who is our final opponent, huh Sethy? Some other waste of space jobber bear I will have to try my hardest to save from being completely and utterly worthless? Is it Daggy? I bet it is isn't it! Hahahaha oh god Sethy why did you do that! Daggy will cry so much when he loses yet again!
Seth: It isn’t Dag Riddik, Katherine… it’s Tiffany White and---
Katherine: WHOA!!! Wait… Tiffany? You mean Tiffy Bear? Hahahaha Sethy why have you put her with that weird Black Bear and the tubby little Scottish weirdo? Tiffy Bear doesn’t even like guys that’s why I love her so much! She’s all “roar roar roar fuckboi this” and errrrrrr “babygurl that!” Suuuuuuuuure she might be like a major lesbo bear but she’s super freaking cute! Have you seen what she looks like Sethy? I bet you’d be all over that. You did a good job hiring her Koala Lion.
Katherine smiled brightly at Koala Lion and clapped her hands excitedly.
Katherine: Oh my godddddd I can not wait to play with her! Did you tell Sethy that I wanted to adopt her Koala Lion? I can’t wait to take her out shopping and do her hair and makeup and put an adorable little pink bow in her hair! Imma make her look soooooooooo cuuuuuuute! But I mean as adorable as she may be there are two issues with her. You can both probably guess what they are, huh? First of all she has this weird “Roarrrrrrr I hate all guys” thing going on and yeahhhhhh I get it guys usually are all smelly and stuff but they aren’t THAT bad… especially not my Koala Lion. Has Tiffy Bear never seen how cute my Koala Lion is or something? Cos you are Koala Lion… you’re a ruggedly handsome beast.
Katherine winked at Koala Lion as she twiddled her hair around her fingers a bit.
Katherine: But the silliest thing of all is that lil Tiffy Bear thinks that she is going to become the greatest female fighter in WCF history… we all saw her adorable little promo last week. So what I’m going to do, Koala Lion… is I’m going to get one of these backstage workers here to create a video displaying all the past female wrestlers this place has seen. BUT!!! I’m only going to show their worst parts… I’m going to show Sarah Teddy losing to the man who is best known for peeing his pants, Eric Bear. I’m also going to show that bubble gun bitch bear Ana getting completely and utterly destroyed by ME a couple of years ago and being set on fire like the worthless little bear she always was. And then finally Imma show every other female fighter who has ever stepped through that curtain and show Tiffy Bear how utterly worthless and forgettable they all were… cos I cant even remember who the hell they were and she definitely won’t remember them. And then right… get this Koala Lion… I will make them show me and only show the bestest parts. Like… me beating the hell out of Badger Bear and making him cry when I took his title away from him, me becoming the Television Champion, the Elite Champion… almost beating Sarah Teddy WITH ONLY ONE MOVE!!! I will show how I manipulated and controlled Sarah Teddy and made the bestest and only female World Champion my bitch! And then after allllllllll that lil Tiffy bear will realize that like her I just looooooooooveeeeeee using my fists… I just kinda prefer to use them in a different way…
Katherine once again winked at Koala Lion and burst out laughing.
Katherine: If you don’t understand what I mean by that Tiffy Bear... I mean I'm going to chain you up and rape you over and over and over again to the point where you'd wish you never crossed me. Every time someone acts naughty or doesn't follow the rules it's going to be taken out on you. You can tryyyyyyyyy to pretend that you don't want that but we both know that you do. You are intimidated by me because I am everything you never will be. In fact you are kinda icky and just ewwwwww but I do need someone to take my aggression out on. Don't worry Tiffy, it won't hurt ... much. And you'll thank me later for it because who DOESN'T want to be raped by someone who looks as good as me?
Seth finally stopped being a grumpy little bear for a moment as he smiled at Katherine.
Seth: I’ve seen her stuff, Kat… she’d probably like that. And I would like to watch that too…
Koala Lion: Oh my…
Katherine: Hahahahahahaha no he’s right Koala Lion! I guess it really can't be classed as rape if she wants it… and we all know she wants it. So forget about that stinky Black Bear because when I am done with Tiffy Bear, she’ll only be thinking about ME!
Katherine finally jumped down off of Seths desk and grabbed Koala Lion up out of his chair by his paw.
Katherine: Anywayyyyyyyyyy I’d love to stay and chat, Sethykins… but I’m a very busy girl and I’ve got lots and lots of things I’ve gotta do! Soooooo I’ll see you later.
Katherine blew a kiss to Seth as she grabbed Koala Lion by his paw and lead him out of Seths office closing the door behind her.
