Post by Danny Vice on May 18, 2007 13:00:01 GMT -5
Jimmy Vice walks up the driveway of the Vice family home followed by the WCF cameraman. He turns back and forth, making little comments regarding how his home life has been since his sister Janie moved out during Danny and Thunder's feud. No more home cooked meals. The home lacks a feminine touch that it once possessed. The usual banter one would expect after a nice home changed from a family style dwelling into Animal House. One can only assume this exchange is going to be used for some sort of profitable DVD sale by Seth Lerch and his money-making machine, The WCF.
Jimmy jiggles the keys in the froont door, finally unlocking the neccessary pin tumblers to open the large front door. As Jimmy and the cameraman enter, they find a shocking revelation. Danny Vice is sprawled across the wood flooring in the main foyer of the house, with a Wendy's cheeseburger in hand. In front of him are the remnants of what can only be assumed a large order of fries, scattered across the floor out of their container, as well as a large soda. Danny sways backwards in a drunken stupor as he looks up to find his brother and the cameraman enter.
Danny Vice: Whoa....didn't sespek to see you's home.
Jimmy is more taken aback than anything else, as he attempts to shove the cameraman out of the house in a frantic effort to preserve some of his brother's remaining dignity.
Danny Vice: Be nice Jhim! We's gots cumpney.
Danny begins to lie down, but instead rests his weight on his forearm while stretching his legs fully out to the side. He stares at the burger in his right hand for a few seconds, before slowly opening his watering mouth. He draws the burger in close, and takes an enormous bite out of it as it spills tomato, lettuce, and ketchup out the backside onto the floor. He then
Jimmy Vice: Danny, what the hell did you do tonight? You're a mess.
Danny Vice: Today....tonight....ummmm...what was yer question?
Danny releases an enormous burp. You know the kind. The ones you can almost smell through your television.
Jimmy Vice: Ok, that was gross. I said what did you do tonight?
Danny Vice: Wells...I was down at the gym working out fer my match thish week when sumathe boys said I was bein a puss lately. Ya know...the whole helping other people bullshit blah blah blah. Wells...I decided to prove them wrong and told them now that I'm a champ, drinks er on me!
Danny leans down mid-story to take a sip of his soda. His eyes look orgasmic as he sucks down the fruition of chemicals and caffiene to quench his insatiable drunken food frenzy.
Danny Vice: So ya. They said "hardcore chump es mer like it" and I got pissed so I says I can still drunk the most out of all them schmos and they said prove it so I says I will and I did and I love you Jimmy!
Another sip of soda, followed by a long smack of his lips and an exuberant "ahhhhhhhhhhhhh".
Jimmy Vice: Ok, so you proved yourself to be hardcore to the guys at the gym tonight? That's the story? That's why you're a wreck right now?
Danny Vice: Oh no.
Jimmy Vice: What?
Danny Vice: This is a mess.
Danny drops his burger while Jimmy rolls his eyes.
Jimmy Vice: Well we need to get you to bed so you can sleep this off. I'm sure you'll be hungover tomorrow, and you have that huge tag match this week on Slam.
Danny Vice: I do?
Jimmy Vice: Yes, it's you and Mike Ragnal against Bobby Cairo and Johnny Craven!
Danny Vice: Oh I hate that Bobby Cairo guy. Last week he tried to compares me wish shum lame Toolman movie. Douche. The guy thinks he's soooooooooooooo cool and that alllllllllllllllll the populars peepls likes him. Well ya knows what?
Jimmy Vice: What?
Danny Vice: He's a douche!
Jimmy Vice: I know. You already said that.
Danny Vice: Big douche. Like a super gigantic asteroid douche. The guy stols my spot for Explosion and he doesn't even reshpect me enough. I'm sure he'll babble babble babble again about something lames this week before I punch him in his ovary.
Jimmy Vice: You done now?
Danny Vice: Nope! And that Crabens fellow? He's one sick fucker too. I know he wants to make a name fer himself here so hez gots a title shot with me! Me? Well I'm here and I'm not queer like Crabens. So take yer best shot.
Jimmy Vice: Danny...
Danny Vice: Yes?
Jimmy Vice: You're a drunk idiot. Get to bed.
Danny Vice: I loves you toos, Jimbo.
Jimmy heads towards his room as Danny lies down in the foyer. He rolls over almost immediately and smashes the remains of his burger on the floor. The cameraman zooms in on Danny's face as he falls asleep, with the picture fading out.
Jimmy jiggles the keys in the froont door, finally unlocking the neccessary pin tumblers to open the large front door. As Jimmy and the cameraman enter, they find a shocking revelation. Danny Vice is sprawled across the wood flooring in the main foyer of the house, with a Wendy's cheeseburger in hand. In front of him are the remnants of what can only be assumed a large order of fries, scattered across the floor out of their container, as well as a large soda. Danny sways backwards in a drunken stupor as he looks up to find his brother and the cameraman enter.
Danny Vice: Whoa....didn't sespek to see you's home.
Jimmy is more taken aback than anything else, as he attempts to shove the cameraman out of the house in a frantic effort to preserve some of his brother's remaining dignity.
Danny Vice: Be nice Jhim! We's gots cumpney.
Danny begins to lie down, but instead rests his weight on his forearm while stretching his legs fully out to the side. He stares at the burger in his right hand for a few seconds, before slowly opening his watering mouth. He draws the burger in close, and takes an enormous bite out of it as it spills tomato, lettuce, and ketchup out the backside onto the floor. He then
Jimmy Vice: Danny, what the hell did you do tonight? You're a mess.
Danny Vice: Today....tonight....ummmm...what was yer question?
Danny releases an enormous burp. You know the kind. The ones you can almost smell through your television.
Jimmy Vice: Ok, that was gross. I said what did you do tonight?
Danny Vice: Wells...I was down at the gym working out fer my match thish week when sumathe boys said I was bein a puss lately. Ya know...the whole helping other people bullshit blah blah blah. Wells...I decided to prove them wrong and told them now that I'm a champ, drinks er on me!
Danny leans down mid-story to take a sip of his soda. His eyes look orgasmic as he sucks down the fruition of chemicals and caffiene to quench his insatiable drunken food frenzy.
Danny Vice: So ya. They said "hardcore chump es mer like it" and I got pissed so I says I can still drunk the most out of all them schmos and they said prove it so I says I will and I did and I love you Jimmy!
Another sip of soda, followed by a long smack of his lips and an exuberant "ahhhhhhhhhhhhh".
Jimmy Vice: Ok, so you proved yourself to be hardcore to the guys at the gym tonight? That's the story? That's why you're a wreck right now?
Danny Vice: Oh no.
Jimmy Vice: What?
Danny Vice: This is a mess.
Danny drops his burger while Jimmy rolls his eyes.
Jimmy Vice: Well we need to get you to bed so you can sleep this off. I'm sure you'll be hungover tomorrow, and you have that huge tag match this week on Slam.
Danny Vice: I do?
Jimmy Vice: Yes, it's you and Mike Ragnal against Bobby Cairo and Johnny Craven!
Danny Vice: Oh I hate that Bobby Cairo guy. Last week he tried to compares me wish shum lame Toolman movie. Douche. The guy thinks he's soooooooooooooo cool and that alllllllllllllllll the populars peepls likes him. Well ya knows what?
Jimmy Vice: What?
Danny Vice: He's a douche!
Jimmy Vice: I know. You already said that.
Danny Vice: Big douche. Like a super gigantic asteroid douche. The guy stols my spot for Explosion and he doesn't even reshpect me enough. I'm sure he'll babble babble babble again about something lames this week before I punch him in his ovary.
Jimmy Vice: You done now?
Danny Vice: Nope! And that Crabens fellow? He's one sick fucker too. I know he wants to make a name fer himself here so hez gots a title shot with me! Me? Well I'm here and I'm not queer like Crabens. So take yer best shot.
Jimmy Vice: Danny...
Danny Vice: Yes?
Jimmy Vice: You're a drunk idiot. Get to bed.
Danny Vice: I loves you toos, Jimbo.
Jimmy heads towards his room as Danny lies down in the foyer. He rolls over almost immediately and smashes the remains of his burger on the floor. The cameraman zooms in on Danny's face as he falls asleep, with the picture fading out.
