Jayson Price Makes A Marker Disappear Inside A Girl
Jan 17, 2016 13:51:17 GMT -5
Stuart Slane, Lilith, and 1 more like this
Post by Jayson Price on Jan 17, 2016 13:51:17 GMT -5
January 16th, 2016
Jayson Price's New Residence
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
The scene opens up with a shot of bright orange sun slowly making it's way above the Southern Philadelphia skyline. The camera then switches to a shot inside of a room, the lens pointed toward the window as the sun's rays begin to creep through half drawn blinds. The camera pans the room as it's slowly illuminated, giving the viewer an idea of the debauchery that occured the previous night. Empty beer and liquor bottles litter the dresser and nightstand. There's a panty covered female ass sticking out from under a pile of blankets on the floor, with another pair of shapely legs casually wrapped around it. A "Happy Birthday" banner half hangs from the ceiling, a crudely drawn pair of breasts covering the two P's. There's an overwhelming smell of whiskey, sex and shame in the air as the camera pans over to Jayson Price, lying face down and sound asleep in his bed on top of the covers and still wearing the same clothes from the previous night. The camera pans slightly to the left to the table beside the bed, where a half empty bottle of Jack Daniels sits in front of an alarm clock that reads 08:29. The clock then switches over to 08:30...
...and begins to emit a high pitched beeping sound. A groan is heard from Price as his right arm begins to wave about in a blind effort to find the source of the irritating sound. Finding only covers, he tries the same with his left arm and succeeds in knocking the bottle of Jack to the floor where it fails to break but does begin to leak onto the wood floor. Price continues to flail his arm and ends up knocking the clock off of the table where it lands on the bottle, breaking it and shorting itself out at the same time. The sound of the glass breaking finally makes Price raise his head from his pillow.
Jayson Price: "I blame you two skanks."
There's a rustling sound from under the pile of covers on the floor as Price turns over onto his back and then sits up, rubbing his eyes as he tries to fight the urge to go back to sleep. He swings his feet over the side of the bed and onto the floor, directly into a pool of the warm brown liquid. Price lets out a sigh as he stands up and carefully makes his way toward the bathroom, making sure to not step on any of the broken glass.
Jayson Price: "One of you clean this up."
There's a groaning sound from one of the girls as Price stops by his dresser and checks his cell phone.
Price looks over to his dresser at a wallet lying amongst the many empty bottles. He then turns back to his phone and begins to type.
Jayson Price: "Saw you giving it to a hooker last night in exchange for a golden shower. Remember? I sent you both to the alley out back and then locked the door behind you."
Price hits send and then sets his phone back down as he steps into the bathroom, pushing the door halfway shut behind him. As the sounds of the shower turning on are heard, more rustling comes from under the covers on the floor. The camera pans over as both girls emerge, clad in only their underwear and looking rather dazed. Hearing the shower they head for the bathroom and shut the door behind them. The sounds of a woman retching are then heard.
Jayson Price: "Seriously? God damn it, you skanks are the worst. Take that shit outside, would ya? Fucking lightweights."
The sound of Price singing "Shake It Off" in the shower are then heard as the scene fades out to black.
30 Minutes Later
The scene fades back in as Price emerges from the bathroom, a towel wrapped around his waist. As he walks out of the scene, the camera zooms in on both girls passed out on the tile floor. The camera stays on them as the sounds of Price getting dressed are heard. His cell phone rings and he answers it.
Jayson Price: "What is it Bob?" ... "I already told you what happened to your wallet." ... "No, I'm not shitting you. Although I'm pretty sure I overheard you trying to negotiate that with the hooker." ... "Whoa. Don't blame me for getting you involved with hookers again. All I did was hire her for entertainment, you're the one who got shit faced and started trying to get freaky." ... "Well if your wife is pissed at your for coming home reeking of piss and whiskey, then maybe you should start considering leaving the bitch. Don't let her ruin your life!" ... "No problem, I live to be helpful to people like you."
Price walks back into the scene, fully clothed, and sets his phone back down on his dresser as he searches for something.
Jayson Price: "Hey, hoebags, either of you see my sunglasses? Oh wait, here they are. They were under the Plan B. By the way, you need to take these. Can't be having no baby mama drama."
Price chucks the pack of Plan B into the bathroom as he slips his sunglasses onto the top of his head.
Jayson Price: "Did you hear me? Take that shit."
Price looks into the bathroom and shakes his head at the girls. He looks around and finds a black magic marker lying on the floor.
Jayson Price: "This'll do."
Price grabs the marker and walks into the bathroom and squats down beside the girls. He pulls the cap off the marked and signs the ass of each girl. He then grabs the hand of one of the girls and places it on the breast of the other, giggling like a middle schooler. He starts to get back up when he pauses. With a wicked grin on his face, he takes the marker and inserts it into one of the girls.
Jayson Price: "That went in far too easily."
Price stands back up, pondering if he should get tested or not, as the scene fades back out to black.
Later That Day
The scene fades back in on a shot of Price standing in front of a black curtain with a bright green WCF logo printed on it.
Jayson Price: "How did I let you talk me into doing one of these things again?"
Hank Brown walks into the shot shuffling some note cards, a rather displeased look on his face.
Hank Brown: "Believe me, this wasn't my idea. The hire ups made me set this up."
Jayson Price: "Seth?"
Hank Brown: "Not that high up. The Head Of Talent Relations and his assistant are behind this."
Jayson Price: "Oh what the fuck. You're telling me I had to be awake before noon because Atreyu and Phoenix told you that they 'said so'? Why didn't you tell me this before?"
Hank Brown: "They said not to. They said you wouldn't show up."
Jayson Price: "Well of course I wouldn't have shown up. For fucks sake, why would I listen to either of those little fucktards. Especially Phoenix."
Hank Brown: "Well they are-"
Jayson Price: "They're nothing. 'Head Of Talent Relations'? It's a glorified title for the guy that does the bitch work for Seth. He has no power over me."
Hank Brown: "Well you're here, so let's just do this thing and get it over with."
Jayson Price: "Are we quoting things your wife said on your wedding night? Because I've got dibs on 'Hank you said this time I could be the woman'."
Hank Brown: "Ha. Ha. So are we doing this or not?"
Jayson Price: "Not."
Hank Brown: "God damn it Price."
Jayson Price: "Fuck it. Fire away."
Hank Brown: "You're just over two weeks away from Fifteen and what could potentially be the last World Title Match you're ever going to have. What kind of pressure are you feeling right now?"
Jayson Price: "Pressure? I'm not feeling any pressure. I've had this one in the bag since it was announced. It didn't matter if it was going to be Wade Moor or Torture, there was no way I was going to walk out of Fifteen without the WCF World Title over my shoulder."
Hank Brown: "Oh come on, you don't expect me to believe that you're not feeling any pressure. If you lose this match-"
Jayson Price: "I'm not losing the match, Hank. I don't care how many people keep bringing up the fact that losing the match means I never get another World Title Match, it's not getting in my head. I'm more focused and confident than I've been in my entire career and Seth Lerch trying to play mind games isn't going to effect me."
Hank Brown: "Well you can't deny the fact that your loss at One has some people questioning that you've lost the ability to perform on the big stage."
Jayson Price: "One loss is just that Hank. I lost, I moved on. I know people love to imagine me sitting around moping because I lost to Torture at One, but the fact is that when the match was over, I went in the back, took a shower and left not thinking about anything except what I wanted for dinner. I don't dwell in the past."
Hank Brown: "Hold on. You don't dwell in the past? You talk about-"
Jayson Price: "God damn it Hank, move on."
Hank Brown: "Fine. All right, well let's talk about Wade Moor and the Beach Krew. The match at Fifteen is one on one, but with the Beach Krew you have to always be wary of who else might show up. You at all concerned about one or maybe more of the Krew making an appearance and interfering on Wade's behalf?"
Jayson Price: "Well I'm not too concerned about Sandy Coconutz making an appearance."
Hank Brown: "Yeah, about that. Do you think that was maybe a bit excessive?"
Jayson Price: "Nope. Not in the slightest. A message needed to be sent to Wade Moor and the rest of the Beach Krew and I sent it loud and clear."
Hank Brown: "And that message?"
Jayson Price: "Try me. Try thinking that your numbers game is going to give you an advantage. Try thinking that at Fifteen you're going to screw me out of the World Title because someone with a ridiculous fucking pun name decided that ole Wade needed a hand and jumped into the ring. I put Sandy Coconutz out of action just to help me send a message. What the fuck do you think I'll do to whatever unlucky little bastard tries to fuck me over?"
Hank Brown: "Something unsettling, I'm sure. But the rest of Beach Krew aside, what about Wade Moor himself? What's the thought process going in?"
Jayson Price: "I've beaten better. Much better."
Hank Brown: "Maybe want to elaborate just a bit more?"
Jayson Price: "Pretty sure what I said is all that needs said."
Hank Brown: "Well I can tell that we're finished with that subject. Let's move on from the talk about Fifteen and focus on this week. You're going to be defending the Cruiserweight Title, a title that's not often defended. Are you even still at the required weight for the belt?"
Jayson Price: "What? Are you trying to say I look fat?"
Hank Brown: "A little bit."
Jayson Price: "Well it's mostly alcohol. But yes, I'm still at the right weight. Not that it's any of your fucking business."
Hank Brown: "Well you've been getting a lot of flack for not defending that Cruiserweight Title as much as people would like."
Jayson Price: "Fuck people. Tell them all to worry about their own shit. I defend the title and that's all that matters."
Hank Brown: "But you've had the title for over 10 months-"
Jayson Price: "And I've yet to hear any congratulations from you."
Hank Brown: "Congratulations. Anyway, you've had that belt for over 10 months and you've defended it, what, 4 times? 5?"
Jayson Price: "Sounds about right. But like I said, all that matters is that I'm defending the fucking thing. Hell, I've defended it more than Torture did the Hardcore Title."
Hank Brown: "Speaking of Torture-"
Jayson Price: "Don't."
Hank Brown: "So this week you're defending the Cruiserweight Title against Mr. Holden."
Jayson Price: "You mean Pasilly."
Hank Brown: "No, he's Mr. Holden now. You see-"
Jayson Price: "I know the god damn story Hank. But listen, if you take a turd and you polish it real smooth, does that mean it's no longer a turd?"
Hank Brown: "Well no."
Jayson Price: "Exactly. Henson took Pasilly, a little turd, and he polished him and gave him the shiny new name of Mr. Holden, but at the end of the day he's still a little Pasilly turd."
Hank Brown: "You're a damn poet, Price. A true wordsmith. So let's talk about the match against Mr. H-"
Jayson Price: "Pasilly."
Hank Brown: "All right, Pasilly. Let's talk about the match."
Jayson Price: "Must we?"
Hank Brown: "I mean we could always talk about Torture."
Jayson Price: "So I have to face off against Pasilly again. Whoopty fucking doo. I mean, what, do you want us to have a full on, heart to heart discussion about the guy? He and I have already done this and it ended with me getting the win. It's not like I'm getting ready to step into the ring with Steve Orbit or Jonny Fly, it's fucking Pasilly. Am I really supposed to be spending my time worrying about this match?"
Hank Brown: "You know the old saying about never underestimating your opponent."
Jayson Price: "It's pretty hard to underestimate or overestimate a turd, Hank. I'm going into the match, I'm winning the match and then I'm walking out of the match still the Cruiserweight Champion. And then I'm probably going to get drunk and call up some hookers."
Hank Brown: "Speaking of hookers, I got your text message last night. Did you have yourself a little party or something?"
Jayson Price: "I texted you? I was trying to get hold of you wife. That thing she does with the ping pong balls and the cucumber, my guests would have loved to see that."
Hank Brown: "Uh, we're live right now. And wait a second, how do you know about that?"
Jayson Price: "I think the better question is why you label your sex tapes 'sex tape'."
Hank Brown: "When the hell-"
Jayson Price: "Move on Hank, we don't have time for you to figure out what's happening here."
Hank Brown: "Mr. Holden-"
Jayson Price: "Pasilly."
Hank Brown: "God damn it!"
Hank throws his notecards into the air and storms out of the scene. The cards gently fall back down to the floor as Price shrugs his shoulders.
Jayson Price: "Something I said?"
Hank Brown: "Fuck you Price!"
Jayson Price: "Hank. Hank, come back. Hank, I...ah, fuck it. I don't need Hank to do one of these."
Price reaches down and scoops up a few of the notecards. He throws them to the side as he reads them.
Jayson Price: "Talk about Fifteen. Did it. Talk about Wade Moor. Did it. Ask about the time Price drunkenly bragged about banging Mrs. Brown. Oof. Not a night I want to relive. Talk about Mr. Holden. God damn it, it's Pasilly. I don't give a fuck if he's been brainwashed and thrown in some new clothes or whatever the fuck else Henson has done with him, he'll always just be little Pasilly. Little, terrible in the ring, horrible to listen to speak, can't understand why he has a job in this company Pasilly. What, am I supposed to think that because he has a new name and that he's being led by K.L. Henson that he's any different than the guy that I beat a few months ago? It's the same fucking guy. It's not like he's Bruce Banner and Henson found a way to make him into the Hulk in the time since our last match. Pasilly was a bitch in that match and he's not going to come into this match and fucking smash anything. It's a god damn cakewalk and there's no other way to put it."
Price shuffles through the rest of the cards and then tosses them to the side.
Jayson Price: "Nonsense, all of it. Is this seriously the best that our esteemed interview could come up with? I don't even have a good question to end this shit on. You got anything for me cameraman?"
The camera shakes from left to right.
Jayson Price: "Well fuck. How are we supposed to end this thing? You think a joke would work?"
There's no response.
Jayson Price: "All right, let's see. A Pasilly walks into a bar and I beat him over the back of the head with a bar stool. Then I grab a beer bottle, break it and stab him in the jugular. As he squirms on the floor, desperately trying not to bleed out, I take a selfie with him and post it on Facebook with '#NoChillEver' as the tag."
Cameraman: "That wasn't a joke, that was just horrifying."
Jayson Price: "Well it was funny to me!"
Price storms off the set as the scene fades to black.
Jayson Price's New Residence
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
The scene opens up with a shot of bright orange sun slowly making it's way above the Southern Philadelphia skyline. The camera then switches to a shot inside of a room, the lens pointed toward the window as the sun's rays begin to creep through half drawn blinds. The camera pans the room as it's slowly illuminated, giving the viewer an idea of the debauchery that occured the previous night. Empty beer and liquor bottles litter the dresser and nightstand. There's a panty covered female ass sticking out from under a pile of blankets on the floor, with another pair of shapely legs casually wrapped around it. A "Happy Birthday" banner half hangs from the ceiling, a crudely drawn pair of breasts covering the two P's. There's an overwhelming smell of whiskey, sex and shame in the air as the camera pans over to Jayson Price, lying face down and sound asleep in his bed on top of the covers and still wearing the same clothes from the previous night. The camera pans slightly to the left to the table beside the bed, where a half empty bottle of Jack Daniels sits in front of an alarm clock that reads 08:29. The clock then switches over to 08:30...
BEEEEP! BEEEEP! BEEEEP!
...and begins to emit a high pitched beeping sound. A groan is heard from Price as his right arm begins to wave about in a blind effort to find the source of the irritating sound. Finding only covers, he tries the same with his left arm and succeeds in knocking the bottle of Jack to the floor where it fails to break but does begin to leak onto the wood floor. Price continues to flail his arm and ends up knocking the clock off of the table where it lands on the bottle, breaking it and shorting itself out at the same time. The sound of the glass breaking finally makes Price raise his head from his pillow.
Jayson Price: "I blame you two skanks."
There's a rustling sound from under the pile of covers on the floor as Price turns over onto his back and then sits up, rubbing his eyes as he tries to fight the urge to go back to sleep. He swings his feet over the side of the bed and onto the floor, directly into a pool of the warm brown liquid. Price lets out a sigh as he stands up and carefully makes his way toward the bathroom, making sure to not step on any of the broken glass.
Jayson Price: "One of you clean this up."
There's a groaning sound from one of the girls as Price stops by his dresser and checks his cell phone.
1 New Text Message
Pretty sure I left my wallet at your place. Can you check for me?
Pretty sure I left my wallet at your place. Can you check for me?
Price looks over to his dresser at a wallet lying amongst the many empty bottles. He then turns back to his phone and begins to type.
Jayson Price: "Saw you giving it to a hooker last night in exchange for a golden shower. Remember? I sent you both to the alley out back and then locked the door behind you."
Price hits send and then sets his phone back down as he steps into the bathroom, pushing the door halfway shut behind him. As the sounds of the shower turning on are heard, more rustling comes from under the covers on the floor. The camera pans over as both girls emerge, clad in only their underwear and looking rather dazed. Hearing the shower they head for the bathroom and shut the door behind them. The sounds of a woman retching are then heard.
Jayson Price: "Seriously? God damn it, you skanks are the worst. Take that shit outside, would ya? Fucking lightweights."
The sound of Price singing "Shake It Off" in the shower are then heard as the scene fades out to black.
30 Minutes Later
The scene fades back in as Price emerges from the bathroom, a towel wrapped around his waist. As he walks out of the scene, the camera zooms in on both girls passed out on the tile floor. The camera stays on them as the sounds of Price getting dressed are heard. His cell phone rings and he answers it.
Jayson Price: "What is it Bob?" ... "I already told you what happened to your wallet." ... "No, I'm not shitting you. Although I'm pretty sure I overheard you trying to negotiate that with the hooker." ... "Whoa. Don't blame me for getting you involved with hookers again. All I did was hire her for entertainment, you're the one who got shit faced and started trying to get freaky." ... "Well if your wife is pissed at your for coming home reeking of piss and whiskey, then maybe you should start considering leaving the bitch. Don't let her ruin your life!" ... "No problem, I live to be helpful to people like you."
Price walks back into the scene, fully clothed, and sets his phone back down on his dresser as he searches for something.
Jayson Price: "Hey, hoebags, either of you see my sunglasses? Oh wait, here they are. They were under the Plan B. By the way, you need to take these. Can't be having no baby mama drama."
Price chucks the pack of Plan B into the bathroom as he slips his sunglasses onto the top of his head.
Jayson Price: "Did you hear me? Take that shit."
Price looks into the bathroom and shakes his head at the girls. He looks around and finds a black magic marker lying on the floor.
Jayson Price: "This'll do."
Price grabs the marker and walks into the bathroom and squats down beside the girls. He pulls the cap off the marked and signs the ass of each girl. He then grabs the hand of one of the girls and places it on the breast of the other, giggling like a middle schooler. He starts to get back up when he pauses. With a wicked grin on his face, he takes the marker and inserts it into one of the girls.
Jayson Price: "That went in far too easily."
Price stands back up, pondering if he should get tested or not, as the scene fades back out to black.
Later That Day
The scene fades back in on a shot of Price standing in front of a black curtain with a bright green WCF logo printed on it.
Jayson Price: "How did I let you talk me into doing one of these things again?"
Hank Brown walks into the shot shuffling some note cards, a rather displeased look on his face.
Hank Brown: "Believe me, this wasn't my idea. The hire ups made me set this up."
Jayson Price: "Seth?"
Hank Brown: "Not that high up. The Head Of Talent Relations and his assistant are behind this."
Jayson Price: "Oh what the fuck. You're telling me I had to be awake before noon because Atreyu and Phoenix told you that they 'said so'? Why didn't you tell me this before?"
Hank Brown: "They said not to. They said you wouldn't show up."
Jayson Price: "Well of course I wouldn't have shown up. For fucks sake, why would I listen to either of those little fucktards. Especially Phoenix."
Hank Brown: "Well they are-"
Jayson Price: "They're nothing. 'Head Of Talent Relations'? It's a glorified title for the guy that does the bitch work for Seth. He has no power over me."
Hank Brown: "Well you're here, so let's just do this thing and get it over with."
Jayson Price: "Are we quoting things your wife said on your wedding night? Because I've got dibs on 'Hank you said this time I could be the woman'."
Hank Brown: "Ha. Ha. So are we doing this or not?"
Jayson Price: "Not."
Hank Brown: "God damn it Price."
Jayson Price: "Fuck it. Fire away."
Hank Brown: "You're just over two weeks away from Fifteen and what could potentially be the last World Title Match you're ever going to have. What kind of pressure are you feeling right now?"
Jayson Price: "Pressure? I'm not feeling any pressure. I've had this one in the bag since it was announced. It didn't matter if it was going to be Wade Moor or Torture, there was no way I was going to walk out of Fifteen without the WCF World Title over my shoulder."
Hank Brown: "Oh come on, you don't expect me to believe that you're not feeling any pressure. If you lose this match-"
Jayson Price: "I'm not losing the match, Hank. I don't care how many people keep bringing up the fact that losing the match means I never get another World Title Match, it's not getting in my head. I'm more focused and confident than I've been in my entire career and Seth Lerch trying to play mind games isn't going to effect me."
Hank Brown: "Well you can't deny the fact that your loss at One has some people questioning that you've lost the ability to perform on the big stage."
Jayson Price: "One loss is just that Hank. I lost, I moved on. I know people love to imagine me sitting around moping because I lost to Torture at One, but the fact is that when the match was over, I went in the back, took a shower and left not thinking about anything except what I wanted for dinner. I don't dwell in the past."
Hank Brown: "Hold on. You don't dwell in the past? You talk about-"
Jayson Price: "God damn it Hank, move on."
Hank Brown: "Fine. All right, well let's talk about Wade Moor and the Beach Krew. The match at Fifteen is one on one, but with the Beach Krew you have to always be wary of who else might show up. You at all concerned about one or maybe more of the Krew making an appearance and interfering on Wade's behalf?"
Jayson Price: "Well I'm not too concerned about Sandy Coconutz making an appearance."
Hank Brown: "Yeah, about that. Do you think that was maybe a bit excessive?"
Jayson Price: "Nope. Not in the slightest. A message needed to be sent to Wade Moor and the rest of the Beach Krew and I sent it loud and clear."
Hank Brown: "And that message?"
Jayson Price: "Try me. Try thinking that your numbers game is going to give you an advantage. Try thinking that at Fifteen you're going to screw me out of the World Title because someone with a ridiculous fucking pun name decided that ole Wade needed a hand and jumped into the ring. I put Sandy Coconutz out of action just to help me send a message. What the fuck do you think I'll do to whatever unlucky little bastard tries to fuck me over?"
Hank Brown: "Something unsettling, I'm sure. But the rest of Beach Krew aside, what about Wade Moor himself? What's the thought process going in?"
Jayson Price: "I've beaten better. Much better."
Hank Brown: "Maybe want to elaborate just a bit more?"
Jayson Price: "Pretty sure what I said is all that needs said."
Hank Brown: "Well I can tell that we're finished with that subject. Let's move on from the talk about Fifteen and focus on this week. You're going to be defending the Cruiserweight Title, a title that's not often defended. Are you even still at the required weight for the belt?"
Jayson Price: "What? Are you trying to say I look fat?"
Hank Brown: "A little bit."
Jayson Price: "Well it's mostly alcohol. But yes, I'm still at the right weight. Not that it's any of your fucking business."
Hank Brown: "Well you've been getting a lot of flack for not defending that Cruiserweight Title as much as people would like."
Jayson Price: "Fuck people. Tell them all to worry about their own shit. I defend the title and that's all that matters."
Hank Brown: "But you've had the title for over 10 months-"
Jayson Price: "And I've yet to hear any congratulations from you."
Hank Brown: "Congratulations. Anyway, you've had that belt for over 10 months and you've defended it, what, 4 times? 5?"
Jayson Price: "Sounds about right. But like I said, all that matters is that I'm defending the fucking thing. Hell, I've defended it more than Torture did the Hardcore Title."
Hank Brown: "Speaking of Torture-"
Jayson Price: "Don't."
Hank Brown: "So this week you're defending the Cruiserweight Title against Mr. Holden."
Jayson Price: "You mean Pasilly."
Hank Brown: "No, he's Mr. Holden now. You see-"
Jayson Price: "I know the god damn story Hank. But listen, if you take a turd and you polish it real smooth, does that mean it's no longer a turd?"
Hank Brown: "Well no."
Jayson Price: "Exactly. Henson took Pasilly, a little turd, and he polished him and gave him the shiny new name of Mr. Holden, but at the end of the day he's still a little Pasilly turd."
Hank Brown: "You're a damn poet, Price. A true wordsmith. So let's talk about the match against Mr. H-"
Jayson Price: "Pasilly."
Hank Brown: "All right, Pasilly. Let's talk about the match."
Jayson Price: "Must we?"
Hank Brown: "I mean we could always talk about Torture."
Jayson Price: "So I have to face off against Pasilly again. Whoopty fucking doo. I mean, what, do you want us to have a full on, heart to heart discussion about the guy? He and I have already done this and it ended with me getting the win. It's not like I'm getting ready to step into the ring with Steve Orbit or Jonny Fly, it's fucking Pasilly. Am I really supposed to be spending my time worrying about this match?"
Hank Brown: "You know the old saying about never underestimating your opponent."
Jayson Price: "It's pretty hard to underestimate or overestimate a turd, Hank. I'm going into the match, I'm winning the match and then I'm walking out of the match still the Cruiserweight Champion. And then I'm probably going to get drunk and call up some hookers."
Hank Brown: "Speaking of hookers, I got your text message last night. Did you have yourself a little party or something?"
Jayson Price: "I texted you? I was trying to get hold of you wife. That thing she does with the ping pong balls and the cucumber, my guests would have loved to see that."
Hank Brown: "Uh, we're live right now. And wait a second, how do you know about that?"
Jayson Price: "I think the better question is why you label your sex tapes 'sex tape'."
Hank Brown: "When the hell-"
Jayson Price: "Move on Hank, we don't have time for you to figure out what's happening here."
Hank Brown: "Mr. Holden-"
Jayson Price: "Pasilly."
Hank Brown: "God damn it!"
Hank throws his notecards into the air and storms out of the scene. The cards gently fall back down to the floor as Price shrugs his shoulders.
Jayson Price: "Something I said?"
Hank Brown: "Fuck you Price!"
Jayson Price: "Hank. Hank, come back. Hank, I...ah, fuck it. I don't need Hank to do one of these."
Price reaches down and scoops up a few of the notecards. He throws them to the side as he reads them.
Jayson Price: "Talk about Fifteen. Did it. Talk about Wade Moor. Did it. Ask about the time Price drunkenly bragged about banging Mrs. Brown. Oof. Not a night I want to relive. Talk about Mr. Holden. God damn it, it's Pasilly. I don't give a fuck if he's been brainwashed and thrown in some new clothes or whatever the fuck else Henson has done with him, he'll always just be little Pasilly. Little, terrible in the ring, horrible to listen to speak, can't understand why he has a job in this company Pasilly. What, am I supposed to think that because he has a new name and that he's being led by K.L. Henson that he's any different than the guy that I beat a few months ago? It's the same fucking guy. It's not like he's Bruce Banner and Henson found a way to make him into the Hulk in the time since our last match. Pasilly was a bitch in that match and he's not going to come into this match and fucking smash anything. It's a god damn cakewalk and there's no other way to put it."
Price shuffles through the rest of the cards and then tosses them to the side.
Jayson Price: "Nonsense, all of it. Is this seriously the best that our esteemed interview could come up with? I don't even have a good question to end this shit on. You got anything for me cameraman?"
The camera shakes from left to right.
Jayson Price: "Well fuck. How are we supposed to end this thing? You think a joke would work?"
There's no response.
Jayson Price: "All right, let's see. A Pasilly walks into a bar and I beat him over the back of the head with a bar stool. Then I grab a beer bottle, break it and stab him in the jugular. As he squirms on the floor, desperately trying not to bleed out, I take a selfie with him and post it on Facebook with '#NoChillEver' as the tag."
Cameraman: "That wasn't a joke, that was just horrifying."
Jayson Price: "Well it was funny to me!"
Price storms off the set as the scene fades to black.
