My fav lines of the week 2
Jan 10, 2016 18:38:52 GMT -5
Teo Blaze, Stuart Slane, and 11 more like this
Post by Lilith on Jan 10, 2016 18:38:52 GMT -5
Yeah that's right....I'm gonna come so hard they won't know what hit 'em. - Chef Creampie
"This week wasn't about winning or losing", the man replied, his voice crawling like tree sap, "It was about sending a message..." - TMNT Security
You’re a box of bad ideas with no direction and an incompetent pilot. It’s like they let a blind, bipolar, fucking idiot pilot the aircraft. We all just get to sit back and watch you nosedive into a dark and endless plain of obscurity. – Spencer Adams
He was playing WCF 2K16. His created character, who Al didn't recognize, was beating the shit out of Joseph Malignaggi. – Greybeard
“This week at Slam I am the master of the ring. I will prove to everyone why they call me “The One!” - Jordan Wolfram
Karma is about to take a huge bite out of my ass and it wont be the only time it does. – Adam Young
I take advantage of my victories. I relish in my splendor. I revel in how I acquired it. I broke the system. I made it. I fought my way off of the dirt and filth encrusted downtown streets of this falling city, and I not only made a life for myself; I made a bloody fortune. – Dag Riddik
Like many of my generation, I was raised in an environment that prioritized self-esteem over competence, but I've overcome that. I know I'm not entitled to anything, and I don't expect any special attention...and as for skills, I think I'm at least decent at a wide variety of things. A jack of all trades, as they say. You know, average strength, for lifting things. Average intelligence. Average, um, carpentry skills... – Travis Tusk
Allow me to introduce myself, Wrestling Championship Federation… I’m the Shock N’ Rolla.. Here 2 Show Ya... COCKED BACK AND FUCKIN’ LOADED! CHANCE! VON! CRANK! The Trailer Park Prodigy comes to you via gritty VHS tape. – Chance von Crank
Somewhere, southwest of time in a land that most have forgotten about sat a man at a best in a tall tower, slightly larger than the one next to it with a billboard on top of the roof like a cherry that read “ Suck a dick, Seth ( MINE ).” It was all neon and shit. – Sandy Coconutz
As my tag partner this week Joey Maligniggi can attest, the Television title is an amazing honor to hold, and men would kill for that title, even in this abstract opportunity that we have for it. Of course, then he lost it to Grime , but I’m not here to discredit my partner, because he holds multiple wins over me and a World Title reign that I, unfortunately, cannot reciprocate, even if it was for 5 minutes. - Grayson Pierce
Torture: Chris! Did you see? I'm going to win the World Title this week on Slam!
Chris Avery: No, no you're not.
Torture: What the hell do you mean, I'm not? I'm TORT-URE. I'm single-handedly the greatest pro wrestler in the world, DUH. – Torture
You know, Nobunaga, I have been thinking. Since my first loss here was disappointing to say the least, we should go out to celebrate! - Akane "Nagasaki" Katsu
Obama is not on my level, Hank. He is the President of America, I am the Supreme Ruler of Mikey’s America. - Mikey eXtreme
Joseph Maschalephidrosis , you’re going to have to sit there and tell the WHOLE world, EVERYONE that you lost to Dustin fucking Beaver. Your kid will be rolling in his grave trying to comprehend how you could have let this happen. And I KNOW, I know for a fact that you will never admit that Dustin Beaver is better than Joey ‘I was World Champion once’ Flash. But hey, if you want another piece of the Beaver after #beachkrew and I rout you this time, I’ll be more than happy to take you out like the piece of trash that you are all by myself. – Dustin Beaver
Tell you what, Punky Brewster. I'm going to do you a solid this week. I'm gonna let you do what so many have done over the years, and let you ride my coattails. I'm going to do everything possible to make you look like you're not a complete joke and give you the chance to regain some status in WCF. Let you squander around in the minor leagues again while Andre and I shuffle up the proverbial ladder and forget about you. – Lucious Starr
Wait. Are you giving me advice on how to win the match or on how to rape a passed out chick? Because I'm a lot of things but I'm certainly no Bill Cosby.- Jayson Price
You're wearing that belt right now aren't you, Bobby? Got it wrapped around your penis like some kinda prize in a children's claw game at the supermarket – Bobby Cairo
Is this a fucking joke? ‘I know what would make good television and an interesting match for people to watch, how shall we book our best wrestler this week? I know, let’s keep things fresh and new by booking him against THE EXACT SAME FUCKING OPPONENTS. What next Seth? What’s your next stroke of fucking genius? Let me guess, I’m going to be facing Gemini fucking Battle and have to kill that poor bastard for like a fiftieth time next? – Joey Flash
So I came out to talk about myself. And there is absolutely no question on anyone's mind why I am the best. No one can defeat me. No one can talk better than me. No one can do anything remotely close to my level at anything. - Rey de Reyes
Who do you think you are Torture? You think you carry enough weight around here that you can just show up and do whatever you want? That you don't have to 'earn your bones' along with the rest of them anymore? You're...you're soft now man. You're masquerading as a top talent because you won three World Championships five years ago? – Wade Moor
Her name was Jennifer. I dunno what is was that first attracted me to her that night when I saw her. Perhaps it was her long, gorgeous brunette hair (I do kind of have a thing for brunettes...rawr.) – Tiffany White
“I'm afraid,” said Ashbury to Amy, “AJ has StarWarsindoctrinitis. It's a common known ailment to people who have recently seen Star Wars. I'm afraid AJ has gone Sci Fi.” – Andre Jenson
I was having wrestlers’ kids murdered when Dune was still playing in his sandbox. – Stuart Slane
I grew up on a space station seven hundred years in your future, cloned from the DNA of Johnny Reb, for the express purpose of sacrificin' myself in some spectacular way to bring an end to the Timekeeper War an' save the metaverse. – Bonnie Blue
He came at me on Twitter because I was telling off our Assistant of Talent Relations, Katherine Phoenix. Five minutes later, he tries to hook up with her, and gets rejected. What happens when he doesn't get what he wants? He blasts you, and is never taken seriously again. Even a TWELVE YEAR OLD could do better winning the Internet Championship. – Andre Holmes
...Joey’s son, he never really had a chance, did he? And if he never really had a chance, then why care? That’s when tragedy becomes a statistic, Seth. That’s when this whole “angle” backfires, that’s when the viewing public turns to you, Seth and asks” why are you hiring unfit fathers that allow their sons to die?” And poor Grayson Pierce, he’ll be swept up in that tsunami along with Joey. Trust me, you’ll lose both if you don’t let one go. – Johnny Rabid
I'ma bust they ass. They mad I took the girl-- I'm mad that over the years, they've each called me a "black homo" at least five times each for no reason. Fuck that shit, I'ma bust they ass. – Steve Orbit
You got me up…at 7:30 in the morning I remind you…because you think that Katherine Phoenix, the one who wrote me a paycheck for $700 gummi bears, is trying to play mindgames with you? – Teo Del Sol
"This week wasn't about winning or losing", the man replied, his voice crawling like tree sap, "It was about sending a message..." - TMNT Security
You’re a box of bad ideas with no direction and an incompetent pilot. It’s like they let a blind, bipolar, fucking idiot pilot the aircraft. We all just get to sit back and watch you nosedive into a dark and endless plain of obscurity. – Spencer Adams
He was playing WCF 2K16. His created character, who Al didn't recognize, was beating the shit out of Joseph Malignaggi. – Greybeard
“This week at Slam I am the master of the ring. I will prove to everyone why they call me “The One!” - Jordan Wolfram
Karma is about to take a huge bite out of my ass and it wont be the only time it does. – Adam Young
I take advantage of my victories. I relish in my splendor. I revel in how I acquired it. I broke the system. I made it. I fought my way off of the dirt and filth encrusted downtown streets of this falling city, and I not only made a life for myself; I made a bloody fortune. – Dag Riddik
Like many of my generation, I was raised in an environment that prioritized self-esteem over competence, but I've overcome that. I know I'm not entitled to anything, and I don't expect any special attention...and as for skills, I think I'm at least decent at a wide variety of things. A jack of all trades, as they say. You know, average strength, for lifting things. Average intelligence. Average, um, carpentry skills... – Travis Tusk
Allow me to introduce myself, Wrestling Championship Federation… I’m the Shock N’ Rolla.. Here 2 Show Ya... COCKED BACK AND FUCKIN’ LOADED! CHANCE! VON! CRANK! The Trailer Park Prodigy comes to you via gritty VHS tape. – Chance von Crank
Somewhere, southwest of time in a land that most have forgotten about sat a man at a best in a tall tower, slightly larger than the one next to it with a billboard on top of the roof like a cherry that read “ Suck a dick, Seth ( MINE ).” It was all neon and shit. – Sandy Coconutz
As my tag partner this week Joey Maligniggi can attest, the Television title is an amazing honor to hold, and men would kill for that title, even in this abstract opportunity that we have for it. Of course, then he lost it to Grime , but I’m not here to discredit my partner, because he holds multiple wins over me and a World Title reign that I, unfortunately, cannot reciprocate, even if it was for 5 minutes. - Grayson Pierce
Torture: Chris! Did you see? I'm going to win the World Title this week on Slam!
Chris Avery: No, no you're not.
Torture: What the hell do you mean, I'm not? I'm TORT-URE. I'm single-handedly the greatest pro wrestler in the world, DUH. – Torture
You know, Nobunaga, I have been thinking. Since my first loss here was disappointing to say the least, we should go out to celebrate! - Akane "Nagasaki" Katsu
Obama is not on my level, Hank. He is the President of America, I am the Supreme Ruler of Mikey’s America. - Mikey eXtreme
Joseph Maschalephidrosis , you’re going to have to sit there and tell the WHOLE world, EVERYONE that you lost to Dustin fucking Beaver. Your kid will be rolling in his grave trying to comprehend how you could have let this happen. And I KNOW, I know for a fact that you will never admit that Dustin Beaver is better than Joey ‘I was World Champion once’ Flash. But hey, if you want another piece of the Beaver after #beachkrew and I rout you this time, I’ll be more than happy to take you out like the piece of trash that you are all by myself. – Dustin Beaver
Tell you what, Punky Brewster. I'm going to do you a solid this week. I'm gonna let you do what so many have done over the years, and let you ride my coattails. I'm going to do everything possible to make you look like you're not a complete joke and give you the chance to regain some status in WCF. Let you squander around in the minor leagues again while Andre and I shuffle up the proverbial ladder and forget about you. – Lucious Starr
Wait. Are you giving me advice on how to win the match or on how to rape a passed out chick? Because I'm a lot of things but I'm certainly no Bill Cosby.- Jayson Price
You're wearing that belt right now aren't you, Bobby? Got it wrapped around your penis like some kinda prize in a children's claw game at the supermarket – Bobby Cairo
Is this a fucking joke? ‘I know what would make good television and an interesting match for people to watch, how shall we book our best wrestler this week? I know, let’s keep things fresh and new by booking him against THE EXACT SAME FUCKING OPPONENTS. What next Seth? What’s your next stroke of fucking genius? Let me guess, I’m going to be facing Gemini fucking Battle and have to kill that poor bastard for like a fiftieth time next? – Joey Flash
So I came out to talk about myself. And there is absolutely no question on anyone's mind why I am the best. No one can defeat me. No one can talk better than me. No one can do anything remotely close to my level at anything. - Rey de Reyes
Who do you think you are Torture? You think you carry enough weight around here that you can just show up and do whatever you want? That you don't have to 'earn your bones' along with the rest of them anymore? You're...you're soft now man. You're masquerading as a top talent because you won three World Championships five years ago? – Wade Moor
Her name was Jennifer. I dunno what is was that first attracted me to her that night when I saw her. Perhaps it was her long, gorgeous brunette hair (I do kind of have a thing for brunettes...rawr.) – Tiffany White
“I'm afraid,” said Ashbury to Amy, “AJ has StarWarsindoctrinitis. It's a common known ailment to people who have recently seen Star Wars. I'm afraid AJ has gone Sci Fi.” – Andre Jenson
I was having wrestlers’ kids murdered when Dune was still playing in his sandbox. – Stuart Slane
I grew up on a space station seven hundred years in your future, cloned from the DNA of Johnny Reb, for the express purpose of sacrificin' myself in some spectacular way to bring an end to the Timekeeper War an' save the metaverse. – Bonnie Blue
He came at me on Twitter because I was telling off our Assistant of Talent Relations, Katherine Phoenix. Five minutes later, he tries to hook up with her, and gets rejected. What happens when he doesn't get what he wants? He blasts you, and is never taken seriously again. Even a TWELVE YEAR OLD could do better winning the Internet Championship. – Andre Holmes
...Joey’s son, he never really had a chance, did he? And if he never really had a chance, then why care? That’s when tragedy becomes a statistic, Seth. That’s when this whole “angle” backfires, that’s when the viewing public turns to you, Seth and asks” why are you hiring unfit fathers that allow their sons to die?” And poor Grayson Pierce, he’ll be swept up in that tsunami along with Joey. Trust me, you’ll lose both if you don’t let one go. – Johnny Rabid
I'ma bust they ass. They mad I took the girl-- I'm mad that over the years, they've each called me a "black homo" at least five times each for no reason. Fuck that shit, I'ma bust they ass. – Steve Orbit
You got me up…at 7:30 in the morning I remind you…because you think that Katherine Phoenix, the one who wrote me a paycheck for $700 gummi bears, is trying to play mindgames with you? – Teo Del Sol
