Rodolfo Meza in: The Cookie Conundrum. (uncoded)
Jan 10, 2016 18:19:30 GMT -5
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Post by Teo Blaze on Jan 10, 2016 18:19:30 GMT -5
Rodolfo “Scoops” Meza. Ace reporter and #1 Wrestling correspondent in all of Mexico. That’s my name, and I hope you won’t think me arrogant for a bit of horn tooting, but this week I have a bombshell big enough to level Monte Carlo! That’s right loyal readers, I, Rodolfo Meza, have landed an exclusive interview with one of Mexico’s most enigmatic figures. I speak of course of the Masked wonder who has become an overnight sensation during his time in Mexico, the one and only Fuerte leòn Rojo! Indeed, this is a figure who has been tearing up the lucha libre circuit with his death defying dives and magnetic personality. There’s not a man in Mexico who doesn’t think of the name Fuerte Leòn Rojo and doesn’t imagine complete and utter excellence! But, as I believe anticipation is part of any good article, so before the main event, let’s begin with my weekly column on local flavor!
I know, I know, you’re all eager to hear just what Fuerte said about el Presidente, and I promise you it’s a good one, but we have to give the little guys a bit of time in the spotlight too, I mean without guys like this week’s luchador, who would eat up the column space when the big hitters are busy, am I right? So before we get to the real article, please allow me to do my best to entertain you with a recounting of my visit to one El Gimnasio del Sol…
The day began much like any other, with a fine breakfast and a short bus ride to a local village. The sun was hot and the chiquitas hotter, but that’s for another article entirely. I hate to go on a tangent so early, but I have to point out that the local girls…Ay yi yi! If el Gimnasio del Sol isn’t enough of an incentive (and I don’t blame anyone for feeling that way) this village has to be seen for some of the pretty….faces. Trust me, it’s worth it.
El Gimnasio del Sol is better known to fans as Habanero Hall, home to storied luchador and multiple time hall-of-famer Hector Habanero. Though I was unable to speak to the head coach personally, I can guarantee you that he has given his blessing to this young Luchador’s ability- and watching the American WCF programs I can say for a fact that young Teo is living up to his coach’s legacy in more ways than one.
While many fans lauded Hector Habanero for his squeaky clean image and technical prowess, the man’s career was marred by a string of poor financial decisions, including a doomed independent lucha libre circuit, that forced him into financial ruin. Hector’s personal life was destroyed, including a highly publicized divorce and a media orchestrated exposè on Hector’s alleged gambling addiction. But just when it looked like a national monument to Lucha Libre was going to be turned into another Starbucks, Teo del Sol arrived with the motivation (and the cash) to pick up where Hector had left off.
I have to say that the renovated Habanero hall has been unlike anything I’ve ever seen, and quite frankly is one of the most impressive aspects of the young Teo del Sol’s short career. From the moment I walked in, the room was dominated by squeaky clean equipment, loud, vivacious music, and dedicated students undertaking unorthodox techniques. Young men vaulted over pommel horses and threw high kicks from balance beams, sparred in the professionally built ring and interacted with excited spectators- it was truly a sight to behold. But as unorthodox as the students appeared, they had nothing on Teo himself…
El Gimnasio del Sol
1/7/2016
The back room of el Gimnasio del sol was rather quiet this morning, despite the frenetic activity taking place throughout the gym, Teo del Sol and Spencer Adams had spent the morning examining a rather peculiar sight. At approximately 7:30 a.m., just as the gym was throwing its doors open to resume its operations, a delivery man arrived with a basket of cookies, wrapped in cellophane- oreos, snickerdoodles, even thin mints were piled on top of one another, all underneath a collection of sugar cookies that spelled out the words “GOOD LUCK!”
Teo and Spencer were unsurprisingly suspicious of an anonymous package, especially one that had arrived at such a bizarre time and under such strange circumstances. Spencer rested his hand on his chin, deep in thought while Teo poked at the package with a stick.
Spencer: Look, it’s probably not a bomb, Teo.
Teo: I’m not willing to rule that out until I’ve tested it properly. See, look! There’s a fuse!
Spencer: That’s a ribbon.
Teo: How can you be so Naïve??
Spencer: You should try it some time.
Teo continues his search, producing a tape measure and carefully measuring every side of the cookie basket, causing Spencer to place his palms in his face and take a few deep breaths. Good, he’s still calm, thought Teo as he reached for a screwdriver.
Teo: First Vic goes missing, and then a mysterious package arrives to wish me luck in this week’s match. And WHO has been posting non-stop about cookies this week?
Spencer: I dunno, the Cookie Monster?
Teo: No! Well…yes, he has. But he’s busy with engagements this week, I saw him tweet just this morning that he has been with the letter C since last night!
Spencer turns and begins banging his head against the wall, producing a rhythmic thud as Teo begins poking the boxes of thin mints.
Teo: Now see here, this has to be some kind of elaborate trap- a mind game to get into our heads!
Spencer stops and turns slowly, his look somewhere between skepticism and “What the Hell is wrong with you?”
Spencer: You got me up…at 7:30 in the morning I remind you…because you think that Katherine Phoenix, the one who wrote me a paycheck for $700 gummi bears, is trying to play mindgames with you?
Teo: ….It could happen.
Spencer: You’ve been watching Sherlock again, haven’t you?
Teo: Whaaaat? Nooooo….that’s silly.
Teo surreptitiously places the magnifying glass back in the toolbox.
Spencer: I knew it, every time you turn that show on you think that someone’s out to get you.
Teo: That’s silly Wattspencer.
Spencer cocks an eyebrow at Teo as Teo refuses staunchly to make eye contact.
Teo: Unless…This basket must be from Benjamin Atreyu! He’s trying to get me to suspect Katherine Phoenix of subterfuge!
Spencer: He’s a braver man than me.
Teo: That fiend! Oh yes, there are many elements at play here…many many different threads all woven into a quilt of deception!
Spencer: I’m going back to bed.
Teo: There’s no time for sleep, Spencer, the game is afoot! I will find out which of my opponents is trying to get into my head!
Spencer: Teo, if they got into your head, they’re probably lost forever.
Teo suddenly grabs the basket and holds it over his head, his face a look of complete and utter determination.
Teo: I shall not fall for your ruse, Benjamin and/or Katherine!
With a heave, Teo flings the basket full force at the door to the gym’s main floor- which opens just in time for the basket to collide with…
Teo: Rodolfo “Scoops” Meza!
Indeed, the now crumb covered and rather dazed reporter lays in a heap, knocked back by the force of the throw. Teo and Spencer quickly rush to help him to his feet, Teo with an apologetic look on his face.
Teo: I’m so sorry Mr. Meza, please, let me fix your tie- I wish you had knocked.
Meza: So many Nutter Butters…
Spencer: There were Nutter Butters in there?? Goddamn it Sherlock-
Teo: Language, Spencer!
Spencer: …Did you just say “Language?”
Teo: Mr. Meza, please, have a seat, I’m so sorry, can I offer you something to drink?
The reporter glances at the fallen basket of confections with a fearful look in his eye.
Teo: Uh…maybe later, so what can I do for you today?
Spencer: Did he just say “Language” to me?
Though I didn’t receive the welcome I would have liked, I have to admit that Teo has a certain undeniable charm to him. I don’t know whether it was the shining white mask, the sincere nature with which he apologized, or the worsening concussion- but I found myself warming up to the new holder of Habanero Hall. After discussing his charity work and some of his goals for the gym, the subject inevitably wandered to this week’s match, which as always you can watch on the WCF network, now only $9.98 in every part of Mexico! What happens when Jayson Price and Logan are locked in the same bathroom for 48 hours? Find out this week on Legends Outhouse when Seth you promised me that your translator wouldn’t include advertisements, this doesn’t exactly seem, wait, why is he writing, no, just translate, don’t dictate the conversation about Teo’s opponents provided some insight into his mindset heading into this week’s match.
Meza: So Mr. del Sol, how do you feel about your opponents for the week?
Teo: Rodolfo, I could not ask for a better test of my skills than what I have been put up against this week. I know that people have been discounting Benjamin Atreyu because of his time as head of talent relations, but I know better than that. His time spent in that office indicates a dedication to the business that some men only dream of.
Meza: You don’t think the time off has weakened his abilities at all?
Teo: I don’t consider it a factor worth even weighing. This is not a business where you can ever walk in and assume that you have the advantage- the fact of the matter is that complacency breeds weakness, that walking in knowing you’re going to win is a surefire way to rack up an extra loss on the record. Benjamin Atreyu is getting my full and personal attention, the same as any other opponent. There’s not a doubt in my mind that one slip-up, one false move, and it’ll be good night Teo.
Meza: So how are you going to keep that from happening?
Teo: Well you see Mr. Meza, Benjamin Atreyu may have plenty of good victories to his name, he may have countless accolades and even have a big victory at ONE against Vengeance, but I have three things that he doesn’t. Speed, Skill, and Support.
Meza: Care to elaborate?
Teo: Absolutely! Speed, that’s self-explanatory, it’s the most valuable measurable quantity in all of Lucha Libre. You see us Luchadors aren’t exactly known for our size or our strength, but I guarantee you without a shadow of a doubt that I am faster than Benjamin Atreyu. I have worked every single day without fail, on treadmills, carrying medicine balls, running laps, doing every single thing my power to make myself into the lightning bolt that people know of as Teo del Sol and I have done it because I know, I know Rodolfo that Speed kills. You ever think about Lightning Rodolfo? Lightning isn’t really all that much, it’s just a big collection of electrons. You ever seen an electron? Of course not, they’re itsy bitsy! I could jump into a pool filled with a billion electrons and all I would get is a nice hospital bill. But it’s that Speed Rodolfo, that speed. You take those electrons, you take those itsy bitsy particle pieces and you speed ‘em up to the speed of lightning, and I guarantee you that you don’t wanna be standing in their way.
Skill, that’s a bit more of an intangible quality. Now Benjamin Atreyu, he’s a blue ribbon athlete and he’s a veteran. He’s been doing this longer than I have, but the thing about skill is that if you don’t use it, you lose it. Now I know I said earlier that Benjmain Atreyu is a dangerous opponent even with his time as Head of Talent Relations, but the fact is that paperwork does not make champions! When I won the People’s Championship, when I beat Kyle Kemp with an instantaneous, miracle pin, that was not luck, that was not ability. I am in that gym every single day practicing ways to pin someone from every single angle, working with the most prestigious, most skilled names in all of lucha libre, turning every single move into a match ender. Every day I push myself as hard as I can because I know that dedication pays dividends. The thing about Mr. Atreyu is that despite his natural god-given ability, he has not had the time yet to put in the dedication that made him a household name in the first place. The only thing he’s been pushing is papers, and the only lifting he’s been doing is the telephone curl. “Hello, Benjamin Atreyu, Hello, Benjamin Atreyu, Hello, Benjamin Atreyu.” Until he goes out and puts in those hours, those weeks that I have, I feel completely confident in saying that my skills are sharper than Benjamin Atreyu’s.
And last, and likely the most important, you have support. Now, Benjamin Atreyu is not a bad man, but he has done absolutely nothing to endear himself to the people who pay his check each and every week. He cancelled a showdown between myself and Vengeance over a petty rivalry, and cost the fans what could have been the match of the night! I don’t know if you have ever had the privilege, the honor of hearing an entire arena of people chant your name, but it is a force unlike anything in the entire world, Rodolfo. When I hear those words, when I hear my name echoing throughout that arena, there is not a person in the entire world who can stop me! Benjamin Atreyu is a dangerous opponent, but when I have the people on my side, he is up against impossible odds. He may think that he has to face just two people this week, but you listen to me right now when I say that myself and Katherine are nothing, nothing! Compared to the hundreds, the thousands…the MILLIONS of people watching around the world. When you try and stop them from getting what they want, when you try and turn your back on that voice, you are a match standing before a tidal wave, an ant in a hurricane, an ice cream cone in a volcano! There is not a thing in the world that can keep them down, and Benjamin Atreyu has forgotten that long, long ago.
Meza: I can’t wait to see it, I can only imagine what it must feel like to hear them chant your name.
Teo: It’s the greatest feeling in the world.
Meza: What about Katherine Phoenix though? She’s now the assistant head of talent relations.
Teo: No kidding, you know you’ve got two current or former members of management against Teo del Sol. You think I’m in line for a promotion?
Meza: I think you would make a great member of the Spanish Announce team.
Teo: Yeah, although I’d have to learn Spanish.
Meza: Wait, you don’t speak Spanish?
Teo: Katherine Phoenix! Oh, sweet Katherine Phoenix. You know I’ve had the chance to interact with Ms. Phoenix on twitter and it is an experience and a half, let me tell you.
Meza: A bit unhinged, is she?
Teo: As a fifty cent door. Now, she plays nice- talks about Gummi bears and cookies, but I can’t help but feel there’s more to the story.
Meza: Is that a magnifying glass?
Teo: Mind games! That’s what it is. Every week it seems that someone has a brand new trick, a brand new way to get into your head, but I think her downfall is her own mind games. See, Katherine Phoenix tries so hard to throw people off, to come at you from a weird angle, that she loses track of her own gambits! I would half expect Katherine Phoenix to walk into this match with her pants on backwards because she was trying to trick the costume designer into giving her free cotton candy! Katherine Phoenix’s biggest flaw my friend is a lack of focus. There is no way that she is mentally prepared for a triple threat- I would be worried if I were going up against her one-on-one, but when she has to divide her attention, she becomes wild, crazy, and unpredictable, but that’s also when she begins to make mistakes.
Katherine Phoenix is a crazy fisherman trying to use Gummi Worms to catch Swedish fish, plans and machinations that make sense to her swirling about inside of a head that is barely able to keep track of which rule she wants to break next, and this is not a match where that kind of mindset works to her advantage.
I have to genuinely ask who thought it would be a good idea to put her in charge, while I do enjoy being partially paid in cookies, I’ve made sure not to actually eat any of them that didn’t come in a sealed package, and even then I’ve checked for syringe holes. You’ve seen KL Henson before, yes? You put those two together and it’s like mixing gasoline with C-4. Things are gonna blow up, people are going to die, and it’s not a matter of when, but how many.
All this to emphasize that Katherine Phoenix may be able to outthink opponents, but when it comes to Speed, Skill, and Support…she can’t even come close to what Teo del Sol brings to the table.
Meza: It’s always great to see confidence. Well, I think that’s all the time we have, thank you very much for this interview Mr. Del Sol!
Teo: Thank you, Mr. Meza! And hey, say hello to Ferte Leòn for me, would you?
Meza: Oh, you know him?
Teo: Know him? I trained him!
With that our interview came to an end. As always, catch the WCF Network this Sunday at Seth…
El Gimnasio del Sol
1/7/2016
Teo walked into the entryway, stretching after the long interview. Rodolfo had been exceptionally friendly and Teo couldn’t help but feel a certain pride in knowing he’d be featured on one of the most prestigious sites in Mexico. Why, Hector would…
Teo paused as he looked at the delivery man from earlier this morning, who now handed him a note.
Delivery man: Sorry sir, this was on the floor of the truck, it’s for you.
Teo took the note and nodded, eyeing the driver with suspicion as Spencer approached.
Spencer: Was that the-
Teo hands Spencer the note in silence as Spencer stares at the plain writing. And within a moment he frustratedly buries his face in his palm.
“Hey guys! Sorry I couldn’t be at practice this week, something came up that I have to deal with. Enjoy the snacks, I know you guys have a bit of a sweet tooth.
-Vic Venable”
Spencer: Sherlock Teo…
Teo: Yes Spencer?
Spencer: ….We shall never speak of this again.
Teo nods before bursting out into laughter with his friend as the screen fades to black.
I know, I know, you’re all eager to hear just what Fuerte said about el Presidente, and I promise you it’s a good one, but we have to give the little guys a bit of time in the spotlight too, I mean without guys like this week’s luchador, who would eat up the column space when the big hitters are busy, am I right? So before we get to the real article, please allow me to do my best to entertain you with a recounting of my visit to one El Gimnasio del Sol…
The day began much like any other, with a fine breakfast and a short bus ride to a local village. The sun was hot and the chiquitas hotter, but that’s for another article entirely. I hate to go on a tangent so early, but I have to point out that the local girls…Ay yi yi! If el Gimnasio del Sol isn’t enough of an incentive (and I don’t blame anyone for feeling that way) this village has to be seen for some of the pretty….faces. Trust me, it’s worth it.
El Gimnasio del Sol is better known to fans as Habanero Hall, home to storied luchador and multiple time hall-of-famer Hector Habanero. Though I was unable to speak to the head coach personally, I can guarantee you that he has given his blessing to this young Luchador’s ability- and watching the American WCF programs I can say for a fact that young Teo is living up to his coach’s legacy in more ways than one.
While many fans lauded Hector Habanero for his squeaky clean image and technical prowess, the man’s career was marred by a string of poor financial decisions, including a doomed independent lucha libre circuit, that forced him into financial ruin. Hector’s personal life was destroyed, including a highly publicized divorce and a media orchestrated exposè on Hector’s alleged gambling addiction. But just when it looked like a national monument to Lucha Libre was going to be turned into another Starbucks, Teo del Sol arrived with the motivation (and the cash) to pick up where Hector had left off.
I have to say that the renovated Habanero hall has been unlike anything I’ve ever seen, and quite frankly is one of the most impressive aspects of the young Teo del Sol’s short career. From the moment I walked in, the room was dominated by squeaky clean equipment, loud, vivacious music, and dedicated students undertaking unorthodox techniques. Young men vaulted over pommel horses and threw high kicks from balance beams, sparred in the professionally built ring and interacted with excited spectators- it was truly a sight to behold. But as unorthodox as the students appeared, they had nothing on Teo himself…
El Gimnasio del Sol
1/7/2016
The back room of el Gimnasio del sol was rather quiet this morning, despite the frenetic activity taking place throughout the gym, Teo del Sol and Spencer Adams had spent the morning examining a rather peculiar sight. At approximately 7:30 a.m., just as the gym was throwing its doors open to resume its operations, a delivery man arrived with a basket of cookies, wrapped in cellophane- oreos, snickerdoodles, even thin mints were piled on top of one another, all underneath a collection of sugar cookies that spelled out the words “GOOD LUCK!”
Teo and Spencer were unsurprisingly suspicious of an anonymous package, especially one that had arrived at such a bizarre time and under such strange circumstances. Spencer rested his hand on his chin, deep in thought while Teo poked at the package with a stick.
Spencer: Look, it’s probably not a bomb, Teo.
Teo: I’m not willing to rule that out until I’ve tested it properly. See, look! There’s a fuse!
Spencer: That’s a ribbon.
Teo: How can you be so Naïve??
Spencer: You should try it some time.
Teo continues his search, producing a tape measure and carefully measuring every side of the cookie basket, causing Spencer to place his palms in his face and take a few deep breaths. Good, he’s still calm, thought Teo as he reached for a screwdriver.
Teo: First Vic goes missing, and then a mysterious package arrives to wish me luck in this week’s match. And WHO has been posting non-stop about cookies this week?
Spencer: I dunno, the Cookie Monster?
Teo: No! Well…yes, he has. But he’s busy with engagements this week, I saw him tweet just this morning that he has been with the letter C since last night!
Spencer turns and begins banging his head against the wall, producing a rhythmic thud as Teo begins poking the boxes of thin mints.
Teo: Now see here, this has to be some kind of elaborate trap- a mind game to get into our heads!
Spencer stops and turns slowly, his look somewhere between skepticism and “What the Hell is wrong with you?”
Spencer: You got me up…at 7:30 in the morning I remind you…because you think that Katherine Phoenix, the one who wrote me a paycheck for $700 gummi bears, is trying to play mindgames with you?
Teo: ….It could happen.
Spencer: You’ve been watching Sherlock again, haven’t you?
Teo: Whaaaat? Nooooo….that’s silly.
Teo surreptitiously places the magnifying glass back in the toolbox.
Spencer: I knew it, every time you turn that show on you think that someone’s out to get you.
Teo: That’s silly Wattspencer.
Spencer cocks an eyebrow at Teo as Teo refuses staunchly to make eye contact.
Teo: Unless…This basket must be from Benjamin Atreyu! He’s trying to get me to suspect Katherine Phoenix of subterfuge!
Spencer: He’s a braver man than me.
Teo: That fiend! Oh yes, there are many elements at play here…many many different threads all woven into a quilt of deception!
Spencer: I’m going back to bed.
Teo: There’s no time for sleep, Spencer, the game is afoot! I will find out which of my opponents is trying to get into my head!
Spencer: Teo, if they got into your head, they’re probably lost forever.
Teo suddenly grabs the basket and holds it over his head, his face a look of complete and utter determination.
Teo: I shall not fall for your ruse, Benjamin and/or Katherine!
With a heave, Teo flings the basket full force at the door to the gym’s main floor- which opens just in time for the basket to collide with…
Teo: Rodolfo “Scoops” Meza!
Indeed, the now crumb covered and rather dazed reporter lays in a heap, knocked back by the force of the throw. Teo and Spencer quickly rush to help him to his feet, Teo with an apologetic look on his face.
Teo: I’m so sorry Mr. Meza, please, let me fix your tie- I wish you had knocked.
Meza: So many Nutter Butters…
Spencer: There were Nutter Butters in there?? Goddamn it Sherlock-
Teo: Language, Spencer!
Spencer: …Did you just say “Language?”
Teo: Mr. Meza, please, have a seat, I’m so sorry, can I offer you something to drink?
The reporter glances at the fallen basket of confections with a fearful look in his eye.
Teo: Uh…maybe later, so what can I do for you today?
Spencer: Did he just say “Language” to me?
Though I didn’t receive the welcome I would have liked, I have to admit that Teo has a certain undeniable charm to him. I don’t know whether it was the shining white mask, the sincere nature with which he apologized, or the worsening concussion- but I found myself warming up to the new holder of Habanero Hall. After discussing his charity work and some of his goals for the gym, the subject inevitably wandered to this week’s match, which as always you can watch on the WCF network, now only $9.98 in every part of Mexico! What happens when Jayson Price and Logan are locked in the same bathroom for 48 hours? Find out this week on Legends Outhouse when Seth you promised me that your translator wouldn’t include advertisements, this doesn’t exactly seem, wait, why is he writing, no, just translate, don’t dictate the conversation about Teo’s opponents provided some insight into his mindset heading into this week’s match.
Meza: So Mr. del Sol, how do you feel about your opponents for the week?
Teo: Rodolfo, I could not ask for a better test of my skills than what I have been put up against this week. I know that people have been discounting Benjamin Atreyu because of his time as head of talent relations, but I know better than that. His time spent in that office indicates a dedication to the business that some men only dream of.
Meza: You don’t think the time off has weakened his abilities at all?
Teo: I don’t consider it a factor worth even weighing. This is not a business where you can ever walk in and assume that you have the advantage- the fact of the matter is that complacency breeds weakness, that walking in knowing you’re going to win is a surefire way to rack up an extra loss on the record. Benjamin Atreyu is getting my full and personal attention, the same as any other opponent. There’s not a doubt in my mind that one slip-up, one false move, and it’ll be good night Teo.
Meza: So how are you going to keep that from happening?
Teo: Well you see Mr. Meza, Benjamin Atreyu may have plenty of good victories to his name, he may have countless accolades and even have a big victory at ONE against Vengeance, but I have three things that he doesn’t. Speed, Skill, and Support.
Meza: Care to elaborate?
Teo: Absolutely! Speed, that’s self-explanatory, it’s the most valuable measurable quantity in all of Lucha Libre. You see us Luchadors aren’t exactly known for our size or our strength, but I guarantee you without a shadow of a doubt that I am faster than Benjamin Atreyu. I have worked every single day without fail, on treadmills, carrying medicine balls, running laps, doing every single thing my power to make myself into the lightning bolt that people know of as Teo del Sol and I have done it because I know, I know Rodolfo that Speed kills. You ever think about Lightning Rodolfo? Lightning isn’t really all that much, it’s just a big collection of electrons. You ever seen an electron? Of course not, they’re itsy bitsy! I could jump into a pool filled with a billion electrons and all I would get is a nice hospital bill. But it’s that Speed Rodolfo, that speed. You take those electrons, you take those itsy bitsy particle pieces and you speed ‘em up to the speed of lightning, and I guarantee you that you don’t wanna be standing in their way.
Skill, that’s a bit more of an intangible quality. Now Benjamin Atreyu, he’s a blue ribbon athlete and he’s a veteran. He’s been doing this longer than I have, but the thing about skill is that if you don’t use it, you lose it. Now I know I said earlier that Benjmain Atreyu is a dangerous opponent even with his time as Head of Talent Relations, but the fact is that paperwork does not make champions! When I won the People’s Championship, when I beat Kyle Kemp with an instantaneous, miracle pin, that was not luck, that was not ability. I am in that gym every single day practicing ways to pin someone from every single angle, working with the most prestigious, most skilled names in all of lucha libre, turning every single move into a match ender. Every day I push myself as hard as I can because I know that dedication pays dividends. The thing about Mr. Atreyu is that despite his natural god-given ability, he has not had the time yet to put in the dedication that made him a household name in the first place. The only thing he’s been pushing is papers, and the only lifting he’s been doing is the telephone curl. “Hello, Benjamin Atreyu, Hello, Benjamin Atreyu, Hello, Benjamin Atreyu.” Until he goes out and puts in those hours, those weeks that I have, I feel completely confident in saying that my skills are sharper than Benjamin Atreyu’s.
And last, and likely the most important, you have support. Now, Benjamin Atreyu is not a bad man, but he has done absolutely nothing to endear himself to the people who pay his check each and every week. He cancelled a showdown between myself and Vengeance over a petty rivalry, and cost the fans what could have been the match of the night! I don’t know if you have ever had the privilege, the honor of hearing an entire arena of people chant your name, but it is a force unlike anything in the entire world, Rodolfo. When I hear those words, when I hear my name echoing throughout that arena, there is not a person in the entire world who can stop me! Benjamin Atreyu is a dangerous opponent, but when I have the people on my side, he is up against impossible odds. He may think that he has to face just two people this week, but you listen to me right now when I say that myself and Katherine are nothing, nothing! Compared to the hundreds, the thousands…the MILLIONS of people watching around the world. When you try and stop them from getting what they want, when you try and turn your back on that voice, you are a match standing before a tidal wave, an ant in a hurricane, an ice cream cone in a volcano! There is not a thing in the world that can keep them down, and Benjamin Atreyu has forgotten that long, long ago.
Meza: I can’t wait to see it, I can only imagine what it must feel like to hear them chant your name.
Teo: It’s the greatest feeling in the world.
Meza: What about Katherine Phoenix though? She’s now the assistant head of talent relations.
Teo: No kidding, you know you’ve got two current or former members of management against Teo del Sol. You think I’m in line for a promotion?
Meza: I think you would make a great member of the Spanish Announce team.
Teo: Yeah, although I’d have to learn Spanish.
Meza: Wait, you don’t speak Spanish?
Teo: Katherine Phoenix! Oh, sweet Katherine Phoenix. You know I’ve had the chance to interact with Ms. Phoenix on twitter and it is an experience and a half, let me tell you.
Meza: A bit unhinged, is she?
Teo: As a fifty cent door. Now, she plays nice- talks about Gummi bears and cookies, but I can’t help but feel there’s more to the story.
Meza: Is that a magnifying glass?
Teo: Mind games! That’s what it is. Every week it seems that someone has a brand new trick, a brand new way to get into your head, but I think her downfall is her own mind games. See, Katherine Phoenix tries so hard to throw people off, to come at you from a weird angle, that she loses track of her own gambits! I would half expect Katherine Phoenix to walk into this match with her pants on backwards because she was trying to trick the costume designer into giving her free cotton candy! Katherine Phoenix’s biggest flaw my friend is a lack of focus. There is no way that she is mentally prepared for a triple threat- I would be worried if I were going up against her one-on-one, but when she has to divide her attention, she becomes wild, crazy, and unpredictable, but that’s also when she begins to make mistakes.
Katherine Phoenix is a crazy fisherman trying to use Gummi Worms to catch Swedish fish, plans and machinations that make sense to her swirling about inside of a head that is barely able to keep track of which rule she wants to break next, and this is not a match where that kind of mindset works to her advantage.
I have to genuinely ask who thought it would be a good idea to put her in charge, while I do enjoy being partially paid in cookies, I’ve made sure not to actually eat any of them that didn’t come in a sealed package, and even then I’ve checked for syringe holes. You’ve seen KL Henson before, yes? You put those two together and it’s like mixing gasoline with C-4. Things are gonna blow up, people are going to die, and it’s not a matter of when, but how many.
All this to emphasize that Katherine Phoenix may be able to outthink opponents, but when it comes to Speed, Skill, and Support…she can’t even come close to what Teo del Sol brings to the table.
Meza: It’s always great to see confidence. Well, I think that’s all the time we have, thank you very much for this interview Mr. Del Sol!
Teo: Thank you, Mr. Meza! And hey, say hello to Ferte Leòn for me, would you?
Meza: Oh, you know him?
Teo: Know him? I trained him!
With that our interview came to an end. As always, catch the WCF Network this Sunday at Seth…
El Gimnasio del Sol
1/7/2016
Teo walked into the entryway, stretching after the long interview. Rodolfo had been exceptionally friendly and Teo couldn’t help but feel a certain pride in knowing he’d be featured on one of the most prestigious sites in Mexico. Why, Hector would…
Teo paused as he looked at the delivery man from earlier this morning, who now handed him a note.
Delivery man: Sorry sir, this was on the floor of the truck, it’s for you.
Teo took the note and nodded, eyeing the driver with suspicion as Spencer approached.
Spencer: Was that the-
Teo hands Spencer the note in silence as Spencer stares at the plain writing. And within a moment he frustratedly buries his face in his palm.
“Hey guys! Sorry I couldn’t be at practice this week, something came up that I have to deal with. Enjoy the snacks, I know you guys have a bit of a sweet tooth.
-Vic Venable”
Spencer: Sherlock Teo…
Teo: Yes Spencer?
Spencer: ….We shall never speak of this again.
Teo nods before bursting out into laughter with his friend as the screen fades to black.
