Post by Lilith on Jan 10, 2016 14:46:17 GMT -5
Katherines life had changed so much in the space of a week. This time last week she was living out of dumpsters and eating old discarded food, now she was wearing a very alluring business suit and having many people running around her and answering her every demand. Things were good for her right now and she wasn't about to let anything ruin it for her.
Katherine seducively walked down the backstage corridor heading towards Koala Lions office and many men around her couldn't help but check her out as she swayed her hips back and forth. She was about to open Koala Lions office door when a very shy looking female crew worker approached her with a small paper bag in her hands.
Crew Worker: Excuse me Ms. Phoenix...
Katherine smiled nicely at the woman as she checked out what was in her hands.
Katherine: Yes? Oh hey, you have my weekly cookie? Niiiiiice. Thanks.... errrrrr... What's your name?
Crew Worker: Emily, Ma'am.
The shy woman handed Katherine the paper bag and began to walk off as Katherine opened it up to see what was inside.
Katherine: What the hell is this!!!
Crew Worker: Wha---
Katherine: THIS!!! What the hell is this!!!
Katherine picked out the cookie and threw it directly at the womans head.
Crew Worker: You don't like the cookie?
Katherine: DO I LOOK LIKE THE KIND OF GIRL WHO LIKES NUTS IN HER COOKIES!!!
The shy crew worker now looked pretty terrified as she bent over to pick up the cookie Katherine had just thrown at her.
Crew Worker: Ms. Phoenix I am so sorry I...
Katherine: No! Screw your sorry! You try and poison me with that bullshit! You're fiiiiiired!!!
Crew Worker: W-What?... No!... Katherine... Ms. Phoenix... Please...
The woman burst into tears as Katherine just stood there trying to look as angry as possible. She eventually burst out laughing as the crew worker had practically fallen on the floor in tears.
Katherine: Hahaha relaxxxx you aren't really fired!
Katherine continued to find this hilarious as the woman desperately tried to pull herself together.
Crew Worker: I'm--- I'm not?
Katherine: Hahaha noooooo! Silly! I do want another cookie though. One without nuts this time please...
The crew worker wiped a few of her tears away as Katherine just stood there smiling brightly at her.
Crew Worker: Thank you, Ms. Phoenix... I will get you another cookie right away.
She turned around and quickly hurried away as Katherine continued to laugh, opening Koala Lions office door and stepping inside. Koala Lion was sitting with his feet up on his mahogany desk, papers scattered everywhere. The window behind him lit the Head of Talent relations into a distinct silhouette. He was currently on his phone, listening intently to the otherside.
K. L. Henson: Yep...gotcha...What was the address again?...Alright...will be there A-sap.
Koala Lion hung up and placed the phone in his pocket as he swung his feet off the desk. He looked to the papers then up to Katherine with a smile.
K. L. Henson: They really shouldn't expect me to do all this paper work! Ah-hem. So, what can I do for you, Kat?
Katherine looked at all the paper work on Koala Lions desk and then looked back up at him with a cute smile on her face.
Katherine: Wait you mean you’re actually writing important things on those?! I’ve been using mine to draw pretty pictures! I drew a unicorn earlier, Koala Lion. You should have seen it… it was freaking AWESOME!!!
Katherine continued to smile at Koala Lion for a moment, not really knowing what exactly she was waiting for.
Katherine: Soooooo where are we going huh? We got some important business to attend to and stuff? I’m soooooo ready for that Koala Lion! Look, I’ve got a notepad and pen and everything!
Katherine pulled out a little pink notepad and glittery pen from her cleavage and grinned happifully at Koala Lion.
Suddenly, Koala Lion lit up with realization.
K. L. Henson: OH YEAH! Right! Okay.
He stood up and threw on his black hoodie in one swift motion then began rummaging through his desk.
K. L. Henson: We are going somewhere special today...Here it is!
Koala Lion pulled out a square tan package. He tossed it in his hand a few quick times before placing it in the pocket in his hoodie.
K. L. Henson: We need to go down town and meet with some associates. It'll be fun!
A massive grin immediately spread across Katherines face as she bounced up and down excitedly clapping her hands.
Katherine: Road trip! Road trip! Yayyyyyyyyyy!!!
Katherine spun around on the spot and yanked the office door open running down the corridor… in the wrong direction.
Katherine: SHOTGUN!!!
Koala Lion stood in the doorway with a cocked brow.
K. L. Henson: Ummm...Kat...One, you automatically have shotgun...two...Other way...
He turned and started down the other way.
Koala Lion drove down a dirty street with Katherine messing with the radio searching for Disney radio but to no avail as the antenna was bent badly from previous events. The road was cracked severely and trash seemed as abundant as the bums on the sidewalk with poorly written songs.
Katherine Phoenix: Don't you have Satellite Radio or something?
K. L. Henson: I don't listen to the radio...or music...besides, that's how they track you! You are basically paying for them to know where you are at all times! That is the last thing I need...
Katherine: You don't want Mickey Mouse to track you? Whyyyyyyy? That'd be so cool if he just randomly turned up in our office, Koala Lion! He might even give me some free tickets to Disney World!
Katherine sulked as she sat next to Koala Lion. She crossed her arms and shot her head up in a huff.
Katherine: You're the worst boss ever... not even letting me go to Disney World I hope you choke on your cereal!
Katherine gasped as she realized what she had just said and immediately lunged at Koala Lion grabbing him in a massive hug.
Katherine: Koala Lionnnnnnn I am soooooooo sorry... I don't really want you to choke on your cereal!
K.L.Henson: It's alright Katherine. You can let go now.
Katherine: And then you'll take me to Disney World?
K.L.Henson: No, we don't have time for that.
Katherine: AND YOU DON'T HAVE TIME TO NOT CHOKE ON YOUR CEREAL YOU MEAN LITTLE KOALA LION!!!!!
Katherine sat back up and turned her head away from the mean boy as she sulked as hard as she could.
There was a stretch of awkward silence as Koala Lion drove on. He looked sideways at Katherine, trying to find some kind of response to cheer her up. Usually he would feel no need to but as he understood it, Disney World was a pinnacle of life experience for most and as he knew Kat, this meant she really wanted to go...
K. L. Henson: Kat...
Katherine: Yeah?...
K. L. Henson: We will go to...hmmm...Disney World...AFTER we finish our job...
Katherine immediately grinned extremely brightly as she once again grabbed Koala Lion in a massive squeeze.
Katherine: Yayyyyyyy! I can't freaking wait!!!
Katherine looked out the window at all the unrecognisable scenery. She didnt have a clue where she was.
Katherine: So errrrrrr... where exactly are we going?
Koala Lion smiled as he turned down a very sketchy alley with a flickering light, broken glass, and a trashcan half melted from a garbage fire. He stepped out of the car and looked around. Katherine stepped out with a twisted grimace.
K. L. Henson: We wait a moment or so then we enter that door!
Koala Lion pointed to a steel door at the end of the alley.
K. L. Henson: On the other side of that door are very important associates...but!...
He hurried around to the trunk, opened it and pulled out two uzies and laid them on the top of the car.
K. L. Henson: We might end up needing these. You got a place to hide one?...Better question...Can you use one?
Katherines eyes went huge as she stared down at the guns. She'd never actually seen a real life gun in person before, truth was they actually kind of scared her. She didn't have a clue what Koala Lion needed these for but she was going to do as she was told, it was her job after all.
Katherine: Are they... are they safe? Its not going to just randomly prematurely go off in my hand is it...
Katherine burst out laughing as she thought about what she had just said.
Katherine: Prematurely going off in my hand... hahahaha! Remind you of anything, Koala Lion?
Katherine winked at the Koala Lion as she continued to laugh. Koala Lion just stared blankly at Katherine.
Koala Lion: I don't get it...Anyways, these are dangerous weapons but we are going to need them when we go in, but hopefully we won't have to. But if they ask, you are Donna Smith and I am Jack Smith...But generally let me do all the talking...
Katherine looked at the guns and then looked back up at Koala Lion who was now encouraging her to pick one up. They were both boring and grey though so neither one of them looked at all appealing to her.
Katherine: Hmmmmmm...
Katherine reached into her bra once again and this time brought out a couple of cans of spray paint, some glitter and some other bits and pieces. She nodded to Koala Lion, turned her back on him for several moments whilst she made some adjustments to her gun and finally turned back around.
Katherine: I figured if we were going to do this that I would do it in style.
Katherine showed Koala Lion what she had done, in her hands was now a bright pink sparkly gun which obviously looked way better than Koala Lions.
Katherine: Sooooo ummmmmm what exactly is the plan here little Koala? We go in there, play with some adorable little WCF business men and then press this button...
Katherine pulled back the guns trigger and the gun instantly went off in her hand firing random bullets into a nearby tree. Katherine stared in disbelief as several pretty birds fell out of the tree dead.
Katherine: Oh my god!!! Oh my god... Oh my god... Oh my god!!! They're all dead Koala Lion! I killed them all!!! It's my fault!!!
Katherine burst into tears as she ran over to the pile of dead birds, picking a couple up and squeezing them in her hands.
Katherine: Look at them Koala Lion! Look at how cute they were! And I had to go and blow them all to pieces!!!
Katherine began to pace back and forth frantically still squeezing the dead birds in her hands.
Katherine: Johnny Rabbit is going to kill me!!! You know how rabbits feel about birds! They're always singing songs together and stuff... and breaking into some weirdos bedroom and for some reason cleaning her house. It makes no sense Koala Lion! IT MAKES NO FREAKING SENSE!!!
Koala Lion hurried to wrap his arms around Katherine so she would stop panicking, it would blow the cover he was trying to keep.
K. L. Henson: But...they're just dead. It isn't like they survived. Hell, if they survived then you would have to snap its neck and trust me, with them wiggling all around that is not easy to do...
He had a wide grin as he gave Katherine a reaffirming shake. Katherine dropped the dead birds onto the floor and just stared at Koala Lion, he had such a way with words it was almost hypnotisinng. Katherine nodded at the birds as she looked up at Koala Lion with a childlike look on her face.
Katherine: You think they're in a better place? The birds I mean. You think there's such a thing as bird heaven where they just get to poop on people all day and eat worms and ummmmm do whatever else birds do?
He patted her on the shoulder and with a confident smirk and a calming chuckle, he replied.
K. L. Henson: Of course not. Don't be silly, now lets go kick some ass!
Koala stuffs the gun in the back of his pants as he approaches the door.
K. L. Henson: You ready, Kat?
Katherine quickly grabbed Koala Lion by his shoulder holding him in place before he could open the door.
Katherine: What... What's in there? Are we about to walk into a den of killer teddy bears or something? Cos if so I think I need to take a moment to prepare myself for this... sometimes dealing with those kinda bears can be quite tricky!
Koala Lion laughed.
K. L. Henson: HAHAHA! No, it's nothing like that. We're dealing with trigger happy drug dealers. Nothing to worry about!
Katherine smiled brightly as she bounced up and down excitedly.
Katherine: Ohhhhhhhhhhhh Steve Orbit is here? I've not seen him in agessssssssss!!!
Katherine threw the door open happifully and stepped inside loudly.
Katherine: Orbitttttttttt...
Several drug deals immediately picked up their guns and fired in her direction startling Kat. Luckily none of the bullets hit her as she hid behind the door and looked at Koala Lion in shock.
Katherine: What the hell is his problem!
Katherine slightly opened the door so she could yell inside.
Katherine: Hey Orbit... you're a jerk! I only wanted to say hi!
K. L. Henson: Use your gun!
Koala Lion waited for a moment of breather where the assailants were reloading and then jumped through the doorway, moving his way into the facility with Katherine close behind him until they reached a stray crate to take cover behind,
K. L. Henson: What! You guys not happy to see us? Some people, I tell ya what.
Katherine just remained crouched next to Koala Lion as a few more bullets sprayed over the top of their heads. She looked between Koala and the direction the bullets were coming from for several moments before taking her notepad and pen out of her bra again.
Katherine: Should I... should I be taking notes about this?
Katherine opened her notepad and began scribbling a few things into it.
Katherine: "Just met up with Orbit in his drug den, hes already trying to kill us..."
Katherine looked back at Koala Lion.
Katherine: You think I should put a stormy cloud next to his name? No body wants to have a stormy cloud next to their name!
Koala Lion sent over a volley of bullets before crouching back against the crate.
K. L. Henson: Something tells me these guys are used to stormy clouds next to their names. What we need is a way to cease fire. I need to get to the room behind them, that has what we are here for.
Katherine peaked her head over the top of the barrel they were now hiding behind and tried to locate this room Koala Lion was talking about. She had no idea what was in there, but whatever it was it had to be good.
Katherine: Ermmmmmmm what exactly is in that room, Koala Lion?
K.L.Henson: I...
Katherine: Ooooo I bet its gold isnt it! ...or magic!
Katherine gasped and grinned wide at Koala Lion.
Katherine: OR A PONY!!! Oh my god is it a pony?! That'd be awesome!!!
Koala Lion thought for a moment, then got a devilish idea...a devilishly brilliant idea...
K. L. Henson: Yes...it's all those things...They are all behind that door...There is a pony waiting for you behind that door.
Katherines jaw dropped as she struggled to contain the bubbliness. Before she could do anything though one of the thugs snuck up behind Koala Lion and placed a gun to his head. Katherine just stared in horror as she saw her boss and bestest friend be placed in such danger. The thug looked terrifying, covered in tattoos, a few missing teeth and scars over every part of his body.
Katherine: You aren't Orbit!
Thug: Shut the fuck up. Who the fuck even are you?! You some crazy fuckin broad to be in here.
Katherine: That isnt a very nice way to talk at ALL Mr Not Orbit!
Koala Lion dropped his gun and raised his hands.
K. L. Henson: Kat, best to not argue with the man.
He stood up, remaining faced away from the thug. He looked to Katherine and winked before mouthing a silent ssshhh.
K. L. Henson: Wouldn't want anything bad to happen to you before your trip to Disney World. I just need you to hand the man the package and we can be on our merry way, he-he-he...
Katherine just stood there looking between the two men not having a clue what was going on.
Katherine: I... I have a package to give someone?
Katherine gasped at Koala Lion realizing what he meant.
Katherine: NO!!! I will not give him my cookies! Why are you saying that I should give him those! Thats reallyyyyyyyyyy mean of you Koala Lion!
K. L. Henson: Kat... give him the package...
Anger was now building inside of Katherine, no WAY was she about to give ANYONE her cookies.
Katherine: NO NO NO NO NO!!! I will not give him my cookies!!!
Thug: What the fuck is this crazy fuckin broad talkin about? I dont want ya shitty fuckin cookies!
Katherine gasped at the man in true horror.
Katherine: HEY!!! My cookies are AMAZING!!! Tell him Koala Lion!
Thug: Ya cookies are a piece of fuckin shit just like you ya fuckin psycho bitch!
At this point Katherine saw nothing but red, she reached behind her back and pulled out her gun. Before Koala Lion knew what had happened Katherine had brought the gun out in front of her, pulled back the trigger and unloaded the remainder of the bullets right into the stupid mans ugly little face. He immediately fell backwards dead covering the surrounding area in thick dark red blood.
Katherine: DON'T YOU TALK SHIT ABOUT MY FUCKING COOKIES YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT!!!
Koala Lion picked up the wrapped package.
K. L. Henson: This! This package!...Well, at least that gives me the chance to do this. Hey you fucks want your product? HERE!
Koala Lion chucked the package over to the thugs during the moment of ceasefire and one of the assailants managed the catch it in mid air when the Head of Talent Relations pulled out his phone.
K. L. Henson: Bee-Tee-Double-U, Gein says hi...
After a few swipes, Koala Lion crouched behind the crate, covering his ears until he saw Katherine staring in curiosity. He quickly grabbed her and brought her down next to the crate right before there was a loud BOOM from the area of the thugs. Shrapnel and fire flew over as everything went red and orange before it died down and all that was left was the crackling of small separate fires.
Katherine: Whoa...
She had never seen or witnessed so much destruction. Everything around her was now either on fire or completely smashed and destroyed. Katherine patted down her hair making sure it was still flawless after going through that explosion, which of course it was. She then took our her notepad once again and wrote down a few more words before looking back at Koala Lion who was now carefully walking around the wreckage.
Katherine: So errrrrr... are all business meetings this..... explosive? No wonder Sethykins always looks so exhausted!
K. L. Henson: Ummm...yeah...Lotsa fun and explosions, all the time...Now where is that...? There it is! HA!
Koala Lion picked up a ring of keys. He went to the door that was severely dented and went to put the key in but before he could even grab the handle, the door fell to the ground.
K. L. Henson: Well, that works.
Katherines eyes went extremely big as she stepped into the room behind Koala Lion. He wasnt lying, this room was just as magical as he had told her. There were shiny things everywhere and even a big pile of sugar in the corner of the room. Katherine immediately ran over to the sugar pile, leaving Koala Lion stood in the doorway.
Katherine: Oh my goddddddddddd!!! I've never seen so much sugar in all my life! You weren't kidding Koala Lion! This place really is great!
K. L. Henson: Kat that isn't...
He was too late with his attempted warning, Katherine had already grabbed a couple of handfuls of "sugar" and had already started eating it. Katherine started to wobble on the spot as she licked her fingers.
Katherine: That is the weirdest tasting sugar I have ever tried in my entire life...
K. L. Henson: Well...that's probably not good but I don't really have time to think of the repercussions at the moment.
Koala Lion hopped on over to the computer and roamed the files until he found a picture of a map with X's and circles marked all over.
K. L. Henson: Jackson, you tedious son of a bitch, now we got you!
He took out a flash drive and put it in the computer and transferred that and a few other things over before pulling it out and stuffing it back in his pocket.
K. L. Henson: Okay Kat, your prize for participating, and since it was...Orbit...who lied about the pony...You get to take all the shiny things you can carry!
Katherine didn’t respond.
K. L. Henson: Kat?
Koala Lion turned around in his chair to face Katherine to find that she had half taken off her top, had messed up her hair somehow and was now staring at her hands.
K. L. Henson: Kat? Kat?! Hey!
Katherine finally looked up at Koala Lion and then back down at her hands.
Katherine: These things are so weird…
Katherine accidentally wiggled her fingers in front of her face.
Katherine: OH MY GOD THEY MOVED!!! What the hell are they…
Katherine began rubbing her hands over her chest, removing her top a bit more so.
Katherine: TWENTY SEVEN!!! Hahahahahaha chocolate muffin face said HELLO!!!
Koala Lion stared at Katherine for a moment as she continued to talk complete nonsense, most of it was just pure mumbles.
Katherine: *incoherent mumbling* GET DOWN… *incoherent mumbling* ice cream tries to eat mango… *incoherent mumbling* IN 1994!!!!!!!
Katherine fell face first onto the floor, hitting it hard and immediately burst out laughing. She started rolling around on the floor for a bit still mumbling to herself about god only knows what.
K. L. Henson: What kind of drugs were these assholes pushing?...Okay Kat, time to go. Play time's over.
Koala Lion tried to grab Katherine but she proved to be too elusive as she rolled around.
K. L. Henson: Kat, we have to go. I am almost positive that back up will be here any moment and trust me, they are not going to be friendly with me and especially not you in association. Kat!
Katherine looked up at her Koala Lion friend and once again burst out laughing as she continued to roll around on the floor.
Katherine: Hahaha listen to the way you talk! "Kat we need to do this, Kat we need to do that!" haha just chill outttttttttt duuuuuude! Even the magical bunny rabbit over there says you're too serious!
Katherine pointed over at a bunch of computer equipment, it was definitely not a bunny rabbit. Koala Lion sighed at Katherine and finally picked her up off the floor, placing her on his shoulder and carrying her out of the building.
Katherine: Heyyyyyyyyy! Nooooooo you're leaving all the magical sugar in there! I want itttttttttt!!!
K. L. Henson: I'm doing this for your own good. They're not gonna like that you tried to eat their "magic sugar". Gotta get you out of here before anyone sees your face.
He hurried out the building and placed Katherine in the passenger side before hoping into the driver side.
K. L. Henson: Good news Kat, you earned that trip to Disney World. What we have here is going to make things a whole hell of a lot easier for me, that's for sure!
Katherine fell forward in her seat as Koala Lion floored it and zoomed out of the area as quickly as possible. Katherine looked down at whatever it was he now had in his possession.
Katherine: That--- that belongs in a museum!
Katherine fell sideways as they zoomed around a bend in the road and fell directly into Koala Lion, his nose poking her in her eye.
Katherine: H---Hey!!! Has anyone ever told you that you have a MASSIVE nose!
Katherine poked his nose a bit and found it extremely funny as it was all squishy, yet quite firm.
Katherine: You remind me of this guy I know! …like he looks EXACTLY like you!
Katherine collapsed onto the dashboard of the car, this time they hadn’t even gone round a corner.
Katherine: God damn squirrels! GET OFF OF THE ROAD YOU DRUNK BASTARDS!!!
K. L. Henson: Ya' know, if you were anyone else I would be furious. But honestly, this is almost adorable with the exception of the withdrawal you will be feeling in the next few hours. But while we are having fun, where to Kat? Where do you want to celebrate a successful...meeting...
Still laying on top of the dashboard Katherine slowly turned her attention back onto Koala Lion. Her face had gone extremely pale and she didn't look at all well, whatever was in that magical sugar had really taken it out of her.
Katherine: Koala Lion... I dont feel w---
And with that Katherine opened her mouth and threw up all over the car. She got vomit all over herself and all in her hair. Katherines eyes watered as she held her stomach in pain looking like she was about to be sick again at any moment.
Katherine: Wh--- what was in that---
She threw up again, this time more of it going over Koala Lion much to his displeasure.
K. L. Henson: Kat you need to pull yourself together, you've got a match in only a couple of hours time.
Katherine looked at Koala Lion, sick tripping off her hair.
Katherine: A match? Why? I don't want to fight anyone. Everyone would be so much more happiful if we just like... got naked and got into a big pile and just cuddled it out. All of this Grrrrrrr and Rawrrrrrr is just super silly don't you think? What's the point in it? What's the point in anything? There is no point! Nothing matters that's what I'm saying... nothing at all matters so we should just get into a ball and cuddle until everything goes away.
K. L. Henson: Kat...
Katherine put her hand up in the air to shush the Koala Lion, just getting even more sick all over him.
Katherine: No! Don't tell me what to do! Who do you think you are? My father?!
Katherine put her head in her hands and started to cry once again.
Katherine: Oh god Father!!! Why did you leave me?! Why why why!!!! What did I do to deserve this! Trapped in this horrible place, getting treated like this! "Sit still Kat you're such a pretty girl"! NO!!! NO NO NO NO NO!!!!!!
Koala Lion tried to put his hand on Kats shoulder to try and calm her down but she quickly batted it away as if she was terrified of him.
Katherine: NO GET AWAY FROM ME!!! I DON'T WANT---
Katherine stopped and squinted at Koala Lion.
Katherine: Koala Lion!! How long have you been sitting there? I was just having such a wonderful dream...
K. L. Henson: I'm taking you back to the arena, Kat. You have a match...
Katherine: No I don't!
K. L. Henson: Yes you do!
Katherine: I think I'd know what I have! If I had a match it'd say so right here...
Katherine pulled her notepad out of her bra to show Koala Lion but she accidentally got sick all over it staining the pages.
Katherine: Wh--- what the heck is all this goo all over me?! Were we attacked by a ghost or something? Ohhhhhh is that the match you're talking about? We're facing a bunch of ghosts? Hahaha cooooool!!!
K. L. Henson: No, Kat you're facing---
Katherine: OH GOD IT'S RUINED!!! IT'S ALL RUINED!!! It's all gone... My notes... Everything!
Katherine quickly flicked through her notepad trying to rub the weird goo off of the pages, Koala Lion looked over at the book noticing that there wasn't actually any writing in the notepad at all, it was all just pictures Katherine had drawn.
K. L. Henson: Kat there aren't even any notes in there...
Katherine: Oh yeah I can't read or write. BUT THATS NOT IMPORTANT RIGHT NOW!!! Anyway where were we? OH MY GOD IT'S HOT IN HERE!!!
Katherine paused for a moment.
Katherine: Where the hell am I? I have a match I don't have time to be taking trips out like this!
K. L. Henson: That is what I've been trying to tell you.
Katherine: Nonsense you have told me no such thing! Now who the hell am I facing again?
K. L. Henson: Benjamin Atreyu and...
Katherine: WAIT!!! Atreyu?! Isn't that that weirdo from The Neverending Story? Hahahaha YES!!! It totally is isn't it! What the hell am I doing fighting him? Did he get bored flying across the lands on that weird dog looking dragon thing? Hahaha that's hilarious! You want me to get all grrrrrr and pretend I'm talking to him, Koala Lion? You wanna know what I'd say to him?
Koala Lion shrugged his shoulders.
K. L. Henson: Sure.
Katherine: Haha okay! I'd be all like... Listen here you floppy eared dragon bastard! I don't care if you are the chosen one or whatever you are... Imma still destroy you and throw your cute little body into the swamp of sadness!!! You know what the swamp of sadness is, right? That thing where it swallows the horse and he's all... Noooooo!!! Well I'd drown him in that! And then I'd be the fucking magical dragon! So yeahhhhh he can bring all his fairytale character friends, bring the giant rock dude person, bring the black doggy thing... and hell even bring one of those statues which shoot the lazers out of its eyes or whatever it does! Cos in the end no matter how much magic he might have NOTHING is going to stop me from taking that book and shoving it straight up his ass!
Katherine laughed to herself for a few moments.
K. L. Henson: You're also facing Teo del Sol
Katherine burst out laughing.
Katherine: Who?
K. L. Henson: He's the peoples champion, a member of The Peoples Choice and...
Katherine: Hahahaha stop, stop! This is wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy too funny!!! The guy sounds like a complete and utter idiot! What sort of silly little bear calls themselves THAT?! I mean of all the possible name choices he chooses to call himself the worst sounding name I have ever heard in my entire life!
Koala Lion shrugged his shoulders.
K. L. Henson: He's probably Mexican.
Katherine: HAHAHAHAHAHA that makes it even funnier!!! So you're telling me my big match is against The Neverending Story and freaking Speedy Gonzales? Bahahahaha!!! No wonder he's the peoples champion, who DOESN'T love that stupid little mouse! But that doesn't matter. If he thinks being an adorable little foreign mouse is going to save him from me putting him back in the toybox he can freaking think again! I don't CARE if he is a little mouse with a cute accent... if he gets in my way and tries to get MY cheese I will snap his adorable little neck! And if that doesn't work then I guess I'll just have to rely on the fact that I'm supergirl to beat them...
Koala Lion looked confused at what Katherine had just said as he raised an eyebrow at her. Katherine was in the middle of tearing her bra right off mimicing Supergirls shirt tear thinggy.
Katherine: HERE I COME TO SAVE THE DAY!!!
Katherine instantly fell asleep in her seat snoring loudly. Koala Lion just rolled his eyes at her as he drove them back to his office.
Several hours had passed and Katherine had finally started to wake up a bit. She found that she was no longer in the car and was now lying on top of Koala Lions sofa in his office. She managed to open her eyes a bit more and squinted around the room, spotting Koala Lion nearby playing with the weird disc thing in his hands.
Katherine: Urghhhhh I had the weirdest dream. I dreamt that Sarah Twilight was coming back and she sent me a letter saying she was back too for some reason... and then a bunch of people jumped me and they all looked like Twilight! It was soooooo weird! Remind me never to eat magical sugar again Koala Lion.
K. L. Henson: Errrrr Kat that actually happened...
Katherine gasped as she quickly sat up and she immediately saw that she was completely topless. Anger flashed across Katherines face as she stormed across the room towards Koala Lion and slapped him HARD.
Katherine: YOU!!! What the Hell!!! If you're going to rape me at least take my skirt off first! Jeez do you know how long it took me to iron this damn thing? Now fetch me some clothes, we gots work to do!
Koala Lion stood and looked at Katherine for a moment, he considered arguing with her but decided it wasn't really worth it. Shrugging his shoulders he walked away to leave the room.
Katherine: Oh and fetch me some cookies too... I am reallyyyyyy hungry for some reason!
Katherine seducively walked down the backstage corridor heading towards Koala Lions office and many men around her couldn't help but check her out as she swayed her hips back and forth. She was about to open Koala Lions office door when a very shy looking female crew worker approached her with a small paper bag in her hands.
Crew Worker: Excuse me Ms. Phoenix...
Katherine smiled nicely at the woman as she checked out what was in her hands.
Katherine: Yes? Oh hey, you have my weekly cookie? Niiiiiice. Thanks.... errrrrr... What's your name?
Crew Worker: Emily, Ma'am.
The shy woman handed Katherine the paper bag and began to walk off as Katherine opened it up to see what was inside.
Katherine: What the hell is this!!!
Crew Worker: Wha---
Katherine: THIS!!! What the hell is this!!!
Katherine picked out the cookie and threw it directly at the womans head.
Crew Worker: You don't like the cookie?
Katherine: DO I LOOK LIKE THE KIND OF GIRL WHO LIKES NUTS IN HER COOKIES!!!
The shy crew worker now looked pretty terrified as she bent over to pick up the cookie Katherine had just thrown at her.
Crew Worker: Ms. Phoenix I am so sorry I...
Katherine: No! Screw your sorry! You try and poison me with that bullshit! You're fiiiiiired!!!
Crew Worker: W-What?... No!... Katherine... Ms. Phoenix... Please...
The woman burst into tears as Katherine just stood there trying to look as angry as possible. She eventually burst out laughing as the crew worker had practically fallen on the floor in tears.
Katherine: Hahaha relaxxxx you aren't really fired!
Katherine continued to find this hilarious as the woman desperately tried to pull herself together.
Crew Worker: I'm--- I'm not?
Katherine: Hahaha noooooo! Silly! I do want another cookie though. One without nuts this time please...
The crew worker wiped a few of her tears away as Katherine just stood there smiling brightly at her.
Crew Worker: Thank you, Ms. Phoenix... I will get you another cookie right away.
She turned around and quickly hurried away as Katherine continued to laugh, opening Koala Lions office door and stepping inside. Koala Lion was sitting with his feet up on his mahogany desk, papers scattered everywhere. The window behind him lit the Head of Talent relations into a distinct silhouette. He was currently on his phone, listening intently to the otherside.
K. L. Henson: Yep...gotcha...What was the address again?...Alright...will be there A-sap.
Koala Lion hung up and placed the phone in his pocket as he swung his feet off the desk. He looked to the papers then up to Katherine with a smile.
K. L. Henson: They really shouldn't expect me to do all this paper work! Ah-hem. So, what can I do for you, Kat?
Katherine looked at all the paper work on Koala Lions desk and then looked back up at him with a cute smile on her face.
Katherine: Wait you mean you’re actually writing important things on those?! I’ve been using mine to draw pretty pictures! I drew a unicorn earlier, Koala Lion. You should have seen it… it was freaking AWESOME!!!
Katherine continued to smile at Koala Lion for a moment, not really knowing what exactly she was waiting for.
Katherine: Soooooo where are we going huh? We got some important business to attend to and stuff? I’m soooooo ready for that Koala Lion! Look, I’ve got a notepad and pen and everything!
Katherine pulled out a little pink notepad and glittery pen from her cleavage and grinned happifully at Koala Lion.
Suddenly, Koala Lion lit up with realization.
K. L. Henson: OH YEAH! Right! Okay.
He stood up and threw on his black hoodie in one swift motion then began rummaging through his desk.
K. L. Henson: We are going somewhere special today...Here it is!
Koala Lion pulled out a square tan package. He tossed it in his hand a few quick times before placing it in the pocket in his hoodie.
K. L. Henson: We need to go down town and meet with some associates. It'll be fun!
A massive grin immediately spread across Katherines face as she bounced up and down excitedly clapping her hands.
Katherine: Road trip! Road trip! Yayyyyyyyyyy!!!
Katherine spun around on the spot and yanked the office door open running down the corridor… in the wrong direction.
Katherine: SHOTGUN!!!
Koala Lion stood in the doorway with a cocked brow.
K. L. Henson: Ummm...Kat...One, you automatically have shotgun...two...Other way...
He turned and started down the other way.
Koala Lion drove down a dirty street with Katherine messing with the radio searching for Disney radio but to no avail as the antenna was bent badly from previous events. The road was cracked severely and trash seemed as abundant as the bums on the sidewalk with poorly written songs.
Katherine Phoenix: Don't you have Satellite Radio or something?
K. L. Henson: I don't listen to the radio...or music...besides, that's how they track you! You are basically paying for them to know where you are at all times! That is the last thing I need...
Katherine: You don't want Mickey Mouse to track you? Whyyyyyyy? That'd be so cool if he just randomly turned up in our office, Koala Lion! He might even give me some free tickets to Disney World!
Katherine sulked as she sat next to Koala Lion. She crossed her arms and shot her head up in a huff.
Katherine: You're the worst boss ever... not even letting me go to Disney World I hope you choke on your cereal!
Katherine gasped as she realized what she had just said and immediately lunged at Koala Lion grabbing him in a massive hug.
Katherine: Koala Lionnnnnnn I am soooooooo sorry... I don't really want you to choke on your cereal!
K.L.Henson: It's alright Katherine. You can let go now.
Katherine: And then you'll take me to Disney World?
K.L.Henson: No, we don't have time for that.
Katherine: AND YOU DON'T HAVE TIME TO NOT CHOKE ON YOUR CEREAL YOU MEAN LITTLE KOALA LION!!!!!
Katherine sat back up and turned her head away from the mean boy as she sulked as hard as she could.
There was a stretch of awkward silence as Koala Lion drove on. He looked sideways at Katherine, trying to find some kind of response to cheer her up. Usually he would feel no need to but as he understood it, Disney World was a pinnacle of life experience for most and as he knew Kat, this meant she really wanted to go...
K. L. Henson: Kat...
Katherine: Yeah?...
K. L. Henson: We will go to...hmmm...Disney World...AFTER we finish our job...
Katherine immediately grinned extremely brightly as she once again grabbed Koala Lion in a massive squeeze.
Katherine: Yayyyyyyy! I can't freaking wait!!!
Katherine looked out the window at all the unrecognisable scenery. She didnt have a clue where she was.
Katherine: So errrrrrr... where exactly are we going?
Koala Lion smiled as he turned down a very sketchy alley with a flickering light, broken glass, and a trashcan half melted from a garbage fire. He stepped out of the car and looked around. Katherine stepped out with a twisted grimace.
K. L. Henson: We wait a moment or so then we enter that door!
Koala Lion pointed to a steel door at the end of the alley.
K. L. Henson: On the other side of that door are very important associates...but!...
He hurried around to the trunk, opened it and pulled out two uzies and laid them on the top of the car.
K. L. Henson: We might end up needing these. You got a place to hide one?...Better question...Can you use one?
Katherines eyes went huge as she stared down at the guns. She'd never actually seen a real life gun in person before, truth was they actually kind of scared her. She didn't have a clue what Koala Lion needed these for but she was going to do as she was told, it was her job after all.
Katherine: Are they... are they safe? Its not going to just randomly prematurely go off in my hand is it...
Katherine burst out laughing as she thought about what she had just said.
Katherine: Prematurely going off in my hand... hahahaha! Remind you of anything, Koala Lion?
Katherine winked at the Koala Lion as she continued to laugh. Koala Lion just stared blankly at Katherine.
Koala Lion: I don't get it...Anyways, these are dangerous weapons but we are going to need them when we go in, but hopefully we won't have to. But if they ask, you are Donna Smith and I am Jack Smith...But generally let me do all the talking...
Katherine looked at the guns and then looked back up at Koala Lion who was now encouraging her to pick one up. They were both boring and grey though so neither one of them looked at all appealing to her.
Katherine: Hmmmmmm...
Katherine reached into her bra once again and this time brought out a couple of cans of spray paint, some glitter and some other bits and pieces. She nodded to Koala Lion, turned her back on him for several moments whilst she made some adjustments to her gun and finally turned back around.
Katherine: I figured if we were going to do this that I would do it in style.
Katherine showed Koala Lion what she had done, in her hands was now a bright pink sparkly gun which obviously looked way better than Koala Lions.
Katherine: Sooooo ummmmmm what exactly is the plan here little Koala? We go in there, play with some adorable little WCF business men and then press this button...
Katherine pulled back the guns trigger and the gun instantly went off in her hand firing random bullets into a nearby tree. Katherine stared in disbelief as several pretty birds fell out of the tree dead.
Katherine: Oh my god!!! Oh my god... Oh my god... Oh my god!!! They're all dead Koala Lion! I killed them all!!! It's my fault!!!
Katherine burst into tears as she ran over to the pile of dead birds, picking a couple up and squeezing them in her hands.
Katherine: Look at them Koala Lion! Look at how cute they were! And I had to go and blow them all to pieces!!!
Katherine began to pace back and forth frantically still squeezing the dead birds in her hands.
Katherine: Johnny Rabbit is going to kill me!!! You know how rabbits feel about birds! They're always singing songs together and stuff... and breaking into some weirdos bedroom and for some reason cleaning her house. It makes no sense Koala Lion! IT MAKES NO FREAKING SENSE!!!
Koala Lion hurried to wrap his arms around Katherine so she would stop panicking, it would blow the cover he was trying to keep.
K. L. Henson: But...they're just dead. It isn't like they survived. Hell, if they survived then you would have to snap its neck and trust me, with them wiggling all around that is not easy to do...
He had a wide grin as he gave Katherine a reaffirming shake. Katherine dropped the dead birds onto the floor and just stared at Koala Lion, he had such a way with words it was almost hypnotisinng. Katherine nodded at the birds as she looked up at Koala Lion with a childlike look on her face.
Katherine: You think they're in a better place? The birds I mean. You think there's such a thing as bird heaven where they just get to poop on people all day and eat worms and ummmmm do whatever else birds do?
He patted her on the shoulder and with a confident smirk and a calming chuckle, he replied.
K. L. Henson: Of course not. Don't be silly, now lets go kick some ass!
Koala stuffs the gun in the back of his pants as he approaches the door.
K. L. Henson: You ready, Kat?
Katherine quickly grabbed Koala Lion by his shoulder holding him in place before he could open the door.
Katherine: What... What's in there? Are we about to walk into a den of killer teddy bears or something? Cos if so I think I need to take a moment to prepare myself for this... sometimes dealing with those kinda bears can be quite tricky!
Koala Lion laughed.
K. L. Henson: HAHAHA! No, it's nothing like that. We're dealing with trigger happy drug dealers. Nothing to worry about!
Katherine smiled brightly as she bounced up and down excitedly.
Katherine: Ohhhhhhhhhhhh Steve Orbit is here? I've not seen him in agessssssssss!!!
Katherine threw the door open happifully and stepped inside loudly.
Katherine: Orbitttttttttt...
Several drug deals immediately picked up their guns and fired in her direction startling Kat. Luckily none of the bullets hit her as she hid behind the door and looked at Koala Lion in shock.
Katherine: What the hell is his problem!
Katherine slightly opened the door so she could yell inside.
Katherine: Hey Orbit... you're a jerk! I only wanted to say hi!
K. L. Henson: Use your gun!
Koala Lion waited for a moment of breather where the assailants were reloading and then jumped through the doorway, moving his way into the facility with Katherine close behind him until they reached a stray crate to take cover behind,
K. L. Henson: What! You guys not happy to see us? Some people, I tell ya what.
Katherine just remained crouched next to Koala Lion as a few more bullets sprayed over the top of their heads. She looked between Koala and the direction the bullets were coming from for several moments before taking her notepad and pen out of her bra again.
Katherine: Should I... should I be taking notes about this?
Katherine opened her notepad and began scribbling a few things into it.
Katherine: "Just met up with Orbit in his drug den, hes already trying to kill us..."
Katherine looked back at Koala Lion.
Katherine: You think I should put a stormy cloud next to his name? No body wants to have a stormy cloud next to their name!
Koala Lion sent over a volley of bullets before crouching back against the crate.
K. L. Henson: Something tells me these guys are used to stormy clouds next to their names. What we need is a way to cease fire. I need to get to the room behind them, that has what we are here for.
Katherine peaked her head over the top of the barrel they were now hiding behind and tried to locate this room Koala Lion was talking about. She had no idea what was in there, but whatever it was it had to be good.
Katherine: Ermmmmmmm what exactly is in that room, Koala Lion?
K.L.Henson: I...
Katherine: Ooooo I bet its gold isnt it! ...or magic!
Katherine gasped and grinned wide at Koala Lion.
Katherine: OR A PONY!!! Oh my god is it a pony?! That'd be awesome!!!
Koala Lion thought for a moment, then got a devilish idea...a devilishly brilliant idea...
K. L. Henson: Yes...it's all those things...They are all behind that door...There is a pony waiting for you behind that door.
Katherines jaw dropped as she struggled to contain the bubbliness. Before she could do anything though one of the thugs snuck up behind Koala Lion and placed a gun to his head. Katherine just stared in horror as she saw her boss and bestest friend be placed in such danger. The thug looked terrifying, covered in tattoos, a few missing teeth and scars over every part of his body.
Katherine: You aren't Orbit!
Thug: Shut the fuck up. Who the fuck even are you?! You some crazy fuckin broad to be in here.
Katherine: That isnt a very nice way to talk at ALL Mr Not Orbit!
Koala Lion dropped his gun and raised his hands.
K. L. Henson: Kat, best to not argue with the man.
He stood up, remaining faced away from the thug. He looked to Katherine and winked before mouthing a silent ssshhh.
K. L. Henson: Wouldn't want anything bad to happen to you before your trip to Disney World. I just need you to hand the man the package and we can be on our merry way, he-he-he...
Katherine just stood there looking between the two men not having a clue what was going on.
Katherine: I... I have a package to give someone?
Katherine gasped at Koala Lion realizing what he meant.
Katherine: NO!!! I will not give him my cookies! Why are you saying that I should give him those! Thats reallyyyyyyyyyy mean of you Koala Lion!
K. L. Henson: Kat... give him the package...
Anger was now building inside of Katherine, no WAY was she about to give ANYONE her cookies.
Katherine: NO NO NO NO NO!!! I will not give him my cookies!!!
Thug: What the fuck is this crazy fuckin broad talkin about? I dont want ya shitty fuckin cookies!
Katherine gasped at the man in true horror.
Katherine: HEY!!! My cookies are AMAZING!!! Tell him Koala Lion!
Thug: Ya cookies are a piece of fuckin shit just like you ya fuckin psycho bitch!
At this point Katherine saw nothing but red, she reached behind her back and pulled out her gun. Before Koala Lion knew what had happened Katherine had brought the gun out in front of her, pulled back the trigger and unloaded the remainder of the bullets right into the stupid mans ugly little face. He immediately fell backwards dead covering the surrounding area in thick dark red blood.
Katherine: DON'T YOU TALK SHIT ABOUT MY FUCKING COOKIES YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT!!!
Koala Lion picked up the wrapped package.
K. L. Henson: This! This package!...Well, at least that gives me the chance to do this. Hey you fucks want your product? HERE!
Koala Lion chucked the package over to the thugs during the moment of ceasefire and one of the assailants managed the catch it in mid air when the Head of Talent Relations pulled out his phone.
K. L. Henson: Bee-Tee-Double-U, Gein says hi...
After a few swipes, Koala Lion crouched behind the crate, covering his ears until he saw Katherine staring in curiosity. He quickly grabbed her and brought her down next to the crate right before there was a loud BOOM from the area of the thugs. Shrapnel and fire flew over as everything went red and orange before it died down and all that was left was the crackling of small separate fires.
Katherine: Whoa...
She had never seen or witnessed so much destruction. Everything around her was now either on fire or completely smashed and destroyed. Katherine patted down her hair making sure it was still flawless after going through that explosion, which of course it was. She then took our her notepad once again and wrote down a few more words before looking back at Koala Lion who was now carefully walking around the wreckage.
Katherine: So errrrrr... are all business meetings this..... explosive? No wonder Sethykins always looks so exhausted!
K. L. Henson: Ummm...yeah...Lotsa fun and explosions, all the time...Now where is that...? There it is! HA!
Koala Lion picked up a ring of keys. He went to the door that was severely dented and went to put the key in but before he could even grab the handle, the door fell to the ground.
K. L. Henson: Well, that works.
Katherines eyes went extremely big as she stepped into the room behind Koala Lion. He wasnt lying, this room was just as magical as he had told her. There were shiny things everywhere and even a big pile of sugar in the corner of the room. Katherine immediately ran over to the sugar pile, leaving Koala Lion stood in the doorway.
Katherine: Oh my goddddddddddd!!! I've never seen so much sugar in all my life! You weren't kidding Koala Lion! This place really is great!
K. L. Henson: Kat that isn't...
He was too late with his attempted warning, Katherine had already grabbed a couple of handfuls of "sugar" and had already started eating it. Katherine started to wobble on the spot as she licked her fingers.
Katherine: That is the weirdest tasting sugar I have ever tried in my entire life...
K. L. Henson: Well...that's probably not good but I don't really have time to think of the repercussions at the moment.
Koala Lion hopped on over to the computer and roamed the files until he found a picture of a map with X's and circles marked all over.
K. L. Henson: Jackson, you tedious son of a bitch, now we got you!
He took out a flash drive and put it in the computer and transferred that and a few other things over before pulling it out and stuffing it back in his pocket.
K. L. Henson: Okay Kat, your prize for participating, and since it was...Orbit...who lied about the pony...You get to take all the shiny things you can carry!
Katherine didn’t respond.
K. L. Henson: Kat?
Koala Lion turned around in his chair to face Katherine to find that she had half taken off her top, had messed up her hair somehow and was now staring at her hands.
K. L. Henson: Kat? Kat?! Hey!
Katherine finally looked up at Koala Lion and then back down at her hands.
Katherine: These things are so weird…
Katherine accidentally wiggled her fingers in front of her face.
Katherine: OH MY GOD THEY MOVED!!! What the hell are they…
Katherine began rubbing her hands over her chest, removing her top a bit more so.
Katherine: TWENTY SEVEN!!! Hahahahahaha chocolate muffin face said HELLO!!!
Koala Lion stared at Katherine for a moment as she continued to talk complete nonsense, most of it was just pure mumbles.
Katherine: *incoherent mumbling* GET DOWN… *incoherent mumbling* ice cream tries to eat mango… *incoherent mumbling* IN 1994!!!!!!!
Katherine fell face first onto the floor, hitting it hard and immediately burst out laughing. She started rolling around on the floor for a bit still mumbling to herself about god only knows what.
K. L. Henson: What kind of drugs were these assholes pushing?...Okay Kat, time to go. Play time's over.
Koala Lion tried to grab Katherine but she proved to be too elusive as she rolled around.
K. L. Henson: Kat, we have to go. I am almost positive that back up will be here any moment and trust me, they are not going to be friendly with me and especially not you in association. Kat!
Katherine looked up at her Koala Lion friend and once again burst out laughing as she continued to roll around on the floor.
Katherine: Hahaha listen to the way you talk! "Kat we need to do this, Kat we need to do that!" haha just chill outttttttttt duuuuuude! Even the magical bunny rabbit over there says you're too serious!
Katherine pointed over at a bunch of computer equipment, it was definitely not a bunny rabbit. Koala Lion sighed at Katherine and finally picked her up off the floor, placing her on his shoulder and carrying her out of the building.
Katherine: Heyyyyyyyyy! Nooooooo you're leaving all the magical sugar in there! I want itttttttttt!!!
K. L. Henson: I'm doing this for your own good. They're not gonna like that you tried to eat their "magic sugar". Gotta get you out of here before anyone sees your face.
He hurried out the building and placed Katherine in the passenger side before hoping into the driver side.
K. L. Henson: Good news Kat, you earned that trip to Disney World. What we have here is going to make things a whole hell of a lot easier for me, that's for sure!
Katherine fell forward in her seat as Koala Lion floored it and zoomed out of the area as quickly as possible. Katherine looked down at whatever it was he now had in his possession.
Katherine: That--- that belongs in a museum!
Katherine fell sideways as they zoomed around a bend in the road and fell directly into Koala Lion, his nose poking her in her eye.
Katherine: H---Hey!!! Has anyone ever told you that you have a MASSIVE nose!
Katherine poked his nose a bit and found it extremely funny as it was all squishy, yet quite firm.
Katherine: You remind me of this guy I know! …like he looks EXACTLY like you!
Katherine collapsed onto the dashboard of the car, this time they hadn’t even gone round a corner.
Katherine: God damn squirrels! GET OFF OF THE ROAD YOU DRUNK BASTARDS!!!
K. L. Henson: Ya' know, if you were anyone else I would be furious. But honestly, this is almost adorable with the exception of the withdrawal you will be feeling in the next few hours. But while we are having fun, where to Kat? Where do you want to celebrate a successful...meeting...
Still laying on top of the dashboard Katherine slowly turned her attention back onto Koala Lion. Her face had gone extremely pale and she didn't look at all well, whatever was in that magical sugar had really taken it out of her.
Katherine: Koala Lion... I dont feel w---
And with that Katherine opened her mouth and threw up all over the car. She got vomit all over herself and all in her hair. Katherines eyes watered as she held her stomach in pain looking like she was about to be sick again at any moment.
Katherine: Wh--- what was in that---
She threw up again, this time more of it going over Koala Lion much to his displeasure.
K. L. Henson: Kat you need to pull yourself together, you've got a match in only a couple of hours time.
Katherine looked at Koala Lion, sick tripping off her hair.
Katherine: A match? Why? I don't want to fight anyone. Everyone would be so much more happiful if we just like... got naked and got into a big pile and just cuddled it out. All of this Grrrrrrr and Rawrrrrrr is just super silly don't you think? What's the point in it? What's the point in anything? There is no point! Nothing matters that's what I'm saying... nothing at all matters so we should just get into a ball and cuddle until everything goes away.
K. L. Henson: Kat...
Katherine put her hand up in the air to shush the Koala Lion, just getting even more sick all over him.
Katherine: No! Don't tell me what to do! Who do you think you are? My father?!
Katherine put her head in her hands and started to cry once again.
Katherine: Oh god Father!!! Why did you leave me?! Why why why!!!! What did I do to deserve this! Trapped in this horrible place, getting treated like this! "Sit still Kat you're such a pretty girl"! NO!!! NO NO NO NO NO!!!!!!
Koala Lion tried to put his hand on Kats shoulder to try and calm her down but she quickly batted it away as if she was terrified of him.
Katherine: NO GET AWAY FROM ME!!! I DON'T WANT---
Katherine stopped and squinted at Koala Lion.
Katherine: Koala Lion!! How long have you been sitting there? I was just having such a wonderful dream...
K. L. Henson: I'm taking you back to the arena, Kat. You have a match...
Katherine: No I don't!
K. L. Henson: Yes you do!
Katherine: I think I'd know what I have! If I had a match it'd say so right here...
Katherine pulled her notepad out of her bra to show Koala Lion but she accidentally got sick all over it staining the pages.
Katherine: Wh--- what the heck is all this goo all over me?! Were we attacked by a ghost or something? Ohhhhhh is that the match you're talking about? We're facing a bunch of ghosts? Hahaha cooooool!!!
K. L. Henson: No, Kat you're facing---
Katherine: OH GOD IT'S RUINED!!! IT'S ALL RUINED!!! It's all gone... My notes... Everything!
Katherine quickly flicked through her notepad trying to rub the weird goo off of the pages, Koala Lion looked over at the book noticing that there wasn't actually any writing in the notepad at all, it was all just pictures Katherine had drawn.
K. L. Henson: Kat there aren't even any notes in there...
Katherine: Oh yeah I can't read or write. BUT THATS NOT IMPORTANT RIGHT NOW!!! Anyway where were we? OH MY GOD IT'S HOT IN HERE!!!
Katherine paused for a moment.
Katherine: Where the hell am I? I have a match I don't have time to be taking trips out like this!
K. L. Henson: That is what I've been trying to tell you.
Katherine: Nonsense you have told me no such thing! Now who the hell am I facing again?
K. L. Henson: Benjamin Atreyu and...
Katherine: WAIT!!! Atreyu?! Isn't that that weirdo from The Neverending Story? Hahahaha YES!!! It totally is isn't it! What the hell am I doing fighting him? Did he get bored flying across the lands on that weird dog looking dragon thing? Hahaha that's hilarious! You want me to get all grrrrrr and pretend I'm talking to him, Koala Lion? You wanna know what I'd say to him?
Koala Lion shrugged his shoulders.
K. L. Henson: Sure.
Katherine: Haha okay! I'd be all like... Listen here you floppy eared dragon bastard! I don't care if you are the chosen one or whatever you are... Imma still destroy you and throw your cute little body into the swamp of sadness!!! You know what the swamp of sadness is, right? That thing where it swallows the horse and he's all... Noooooo!!! Well I'd drown him in that! And then I'd be the fucking magical dragon! So yeahhhhh he can bring all his fairytale character friends, bring the giant rock dude person, bring the black doggy thing... and hell even bring one of those statues which shoot the lazers out of its eyes or whatever it does! Cos in the end no matter how much magic he might have NOTHING is going to stop me from taking that book and shoving it straight up his ass!
Katherine laughed to herself for a few moments.
K. L. Henson: You're also facing Teo del Sol
Katherine burst out laughing.
Katherine: Who?
K. L. Henson: He's the peoples champion, a member of The Peoples Choice and...
Katherine: Hahahaha stop, stop! This is wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy too funny!!! The guy sounds like a complete and utter idiot! What sort of silly little bear calls themselves THAT?! I mean of all the possible name choices he chooses to call himself the worst sounding name I have ever heard in my entire life!
Koala Lion shrugged his shoulders.
K. L. Henson: He's probably Mexican.
Katherine: HAHAHAHAHAHA that makes it even funnier!!! So you're telling me my big match is against The Neverending Story and freaking Speedy Gonzales? Bahahahaha!!! No wonder he's the peoples champion, who DOESN'T love that stupid little mouse! But that doesn't matter. If he thinks being an adorable little foreign mouse is going to save him from me putting him back in the toybox he can freaking think again! I don't CARE if he is a little mouse with a cute accent... if he gets in my way and tries to get MY cheese I will snap his adorable little neck! And if that doesn't work then I guess I'll just have to rely on the fact that I'm supergirl to beat them...
Koala Lion looked confused at what Katherine had just said as he raised an eyebrow at her. Katherine was in the middle of tearing her bra right off mimicing Supergirls shirt tear thinggy.
Katherine: HERE I COME TO SAVE THE DAY!!!
Katherine instantly fell asleep in her seat snoring loudly. Koala Lion just rolled his eyes at her as he drove them back to his office.
Several hours had passed and Katherine had finally started to wake up a bit. She found that she was no longer in the car and was now lying on top of Koala Lions sofa in his office. She managed to open her eyes a bit more and squinted around the room, spotting Koala Lion nearby playing with the weird disc thing in his hands.
Katherine: Urghhhhh I had the weirdest dream. I dreamt that Sarah Twilight was coming back and she sent me a letter saying she was back too for some reason... and then a bunch of people jumped me and they all looked like Twilight! It was soooooo weird! Remind me never to eat magical sugar again Koala Lion.
K. L. Henson: Errrrr Kat that actually happened...
Katherine gasped as she quickly sat up and she immediately saw that she was completely topless. Anger flashed across Katherines face as she stormed across the room towards Koala Lion and slapped him HARD.
Katherine: YOU!!! What the Hell!!! If you're going to rape me at least take my skirt off first! Jeez do you know how long it took me to iron this damn thing? Now fetch me some clothes, we gots work to do!
Koala Lion stood and looked at Katherine for a moment, he considered arguing with her but decided it wasn't really worth it. Shrugging his shoulders he walked away to leave the room.
Katherine: Oh and fetch me some cookies too... I am reallyyyyyy hungry for some reason!
