Post by Seth on Feb 25, 2007 0:25:06 GMT -5
The scene opens up in a junkyard. There are several cars and whatnot stacked all around, and garbage everywhere, unsurprisingly. It is dark, and the only illumination comes from a few lights here and there, flickering, and a fire or two coming from some cans. Seth Lerch appears in the darkness. He's wearing jeans, a black t-shirt and a black jacket, and is probably more than a little cold. He's shaking a bit.
Cameraman: Mr. Lerch, are you sure you want to be out here? It's freezing. This is February.
Seth Lerch: Yes, I'm sure. I pay you to be a cameraman, not a loudmouth.
Cameraman: You're not paying me at all, I'm just a bum you found outside the gates-
Seth Lerch: That isn't the point. The point is that I need to be here. Ahem. May I begin?
Cameraman: Uh, yeah, sure. Action!
Seth Lerch: Fans, I'm here in this junkyard for a reason. Because I am hardcore.
The cameraman snickers a bit.
Seth Lerch: What's so funny?
Cameraman: Nothing, Mr. Lerch, sir.
Seth Lerch: Damn right, nothing! The fans know it. They've seen me fight Logan in the past, they've seen me fight Reckless Jack. And the time has come for me to put gold around my waist. Hardcore Title gold. The time has come for my to defeat that no good, lazy, overpaid son of a bitch Skyler Striker.
Seth is getting more intense now, looking straight into the camera.
Seth Lerch: Striker, people have been talking. "Oh, that Skyler Striker, he's so great. Did you see his feud with Danny Striker? They saved WCF, they're so good" blah blah blah. "Oh, Skyler Striker, he's the reason WCF is succesfull" blah blah blah. Well, NO. No. WCF is succesful because of ME. Who allowed the Striker/Vice feud to happen? ME. Who arranged the matches? ME. Who paid to have the Hell in a Cell constructed? ME. And you two get all the credit!
Seth picks up a trash can lid.
Seth Lerch: You think you're hardcore? You've had the belt for long enough. I'M hardcore. I fight guys despite the fact I have had no real wrestling training. That's hardcore. I sit in an office all day and listen to people bitch at me about how something on my show was offensive. That's hardcore. At the age of 20 I was still a virgin, and that was hardcore. I put up with Creeping Death and Torture on a daily basis, that was hardcore. I currently have a cold sore, and if you make me bleed, you might get herpes. That's hardcore.
Cameraman: Um, sir? I'm not ENTIRELY sure herpes spreads like that-
Seth Lerch: You're a bum, not a scientist!
Cameraman: If there is one thing bums know, it is STDs. Well, drugs and STDs, I guess. And whiskey. Yeah, especially whiskey.
Seth Lerch: Either way, this is the point. Skyler Striker, if you make me bleed, I will give you herpes. See you on Sunday.
Seth takes the trash can lid and bangs it against his face. Blood begins oozing from a cut, and he takes it and smears it down his face. The scene fades out.
Cameraman: Mr. Lerch, are you sure you want to be out here? It's freezing. This is February.
Seth Lerch: Yes, I'm sure. I pay you to be a cameraman, not a loudmouth.
Cameraman: You're not paying me at all, I'm just a bum you found outside the gates-
Seth Lerch: That isn't the point. The point is that I need to be here. Ahem. May I begin?
Cameraman: Uh, yeah, sure. Action!
Seth Lerch: Fans, I'm here in this junkyard for a reason. Because I am hardcore.
The cameraman snickers a bit.
Seth Lerch: What's so funny?
Cameraman: Nothing, Mr. Lerch, sir.
Seth Lerch: Damn right, nothing! The fans know it. They've seen me fight Logan in the past, they've seen me fight Reckless Jack. And the time has come for me to put gold around my waist. Hardcore Title gold. The time has come for my to defeat that no good, lazy, overpaid son of a bitch Skyler Striker.
Seth is getting more intense now, looking straight into the camera.
Seth Lerch: Striker, people have been talking. "Oh, that Skyler Striker, he's so great. Did you see his feud with Danny Striker? They saved WCF, they're so good" blah blah blah. "Oh, Skyler Striker, he's the reason WCF is succesfull" blah blah blah. Well, NO. No. WCF is succesful because of ME. Who allowed the Striker/Vice feud to happen? ME. Who arranged the matches? ME. Who paid to have the Hell in a Cell constructed? ME. And you two get all the credit!
Seth picks up a trash can lid.
Seth Lerch: You think you're hardcore? You've had the belt for long enough. I'M hardcore. I fight guys despite the fact I have had no real wrestling training. That's hardcore. I sit in an office all day and listen to people bitch at me about how something on my show was offensive. That's hardcore. At the age of 20 I was still a virgin, and that was hardcore. I put up with Creeping Death and Torture on a daily basis, that was hardcore. I currently have a cold sore, and if you make me bleed, you might get herpes. That's hardcore.
Cameraman: Um, sir? I'm not ENTIRELY sure herpes spreads like that-
Seth Lerch: You're a bum, not a scientist!
Cameraman: If there is one thing bums know, it is STDs. Well, drugs and STDs, I guess. And whiskey. Yeah, especially whiskey.
Seth Lerch: Either way, this is the point. Skyler Striker, if you make me bleed, I will give you herpes. See you on Sunday.
Seth takes the trash can lid and bangs it against his face. Blood begins oozing from a cut, and he takes it and smears it down his face. The scene fades out.
