"Love It Or Hate It (Everything Burns)"
Jan 1, 2016 19:40:55 GMT -5
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Bobby Cairo and John Rabid like this
Post by TMNT Security on Jan 1, 2016 19:40:55 GMT -5
The scene opens on a dark tunnel. The camera moves forward, constantly evolving on that everexpanding claptrap. We hit the light at the end of the tunnel amd hear the smack of a hand on a fresh baby's bottom. No women no cry, because this was the women that bore the Godfather and sprung him into his uberthick existance...
These...these were happier times. We watch the Bobdaddy play, laugh, cry, fuck, and ultimately grow into the man he will become. That man on his mantle, on a throne bejeweled with the poon of women jizzbombed and the vaginers of men he's crushed. That WHIRLED CHAMP-YUN-CHIP strap was nestled safely under his Thick, and all was right with the world.
But then that scene takes a turn for the worse. A-A-A left turn at Colorado onto that dirt farm road. Po' nigguh territory. Not as thick do, mind you.
These are dark times, dark times indeed. The scene fades into the middle of that pot farm where three unruly gentlemen stand as creatures of the night, garbed in black combat gear with turtle shells strapped around their backs - and colored headbands to boot.
These were three men that took their militant duties seriously. They were men sent to protect or sent to destroy if necessary.
And this week, they were casing that HAHD TAHGET, that Bobfather PopCairo of HORROR-GORE legend and myth. They were sneaking up on his Lincoln Log cabin under cover of the night and vast rows of cannabinoids.
Would have been a lean night if they weren't on duty.
D-LO C-LO, that child of DICKness took point on this mission, as he had a hard bone to pick with Cairo. The "Kaz Mazy" missing posters littered around Poon Guinnea reminded D-LO C-LO of the very own innocence he lost, and how his G-Daddy had once abandoned him to live in the sewers of Brooklyn.
That's where his Master Splinter had trained him, in that swampy dojo, that mystical ninji training ground. He had trained him so that he could pass his way on to his Brothers From Other Mothers, Maurice Zangles and Colin Marshall...and so that he could whip that dumbass smile off of the Godfather's face once and for all and take that HORROR-GORE CHAMP-YOON belt off of him.
D-LO motioned for Colin Marshall to pull out that iDRAWD's smarts phone so he could, perchance, impart a message onto Cairo, the only message he would ever have to send. Colin gave D-LO the thumbs up and that shit was on like Donkey Kong Country for the Super Nintendo.
"Bubby, LOL", D-LO imparted upon Cairo as if the heavens above were rent asunder, "Welcome back. Have you ever heard of a ritual killing, my father?"
D-LO waited for an answer. He waited for what felt like an eternity for Cairo to answer, but none ever came.
"It's just like my childhood", D-LO stated, a hedonistic look in his pupils, "Yeah, yeah it is. Waiting for daddy to come home. Waiting for pops to come and read me a bedtime story like the damn fool I was. It took me a few years to realize that nobody except bums and the unwanted live in sewers...by that time, I was already a turtle shell, footsie pajama wearing man, mein father."
D-LO licks his chops and brushes that cool head of blonde hair back.
"Eventually, I got tired of waiting for dad to come home...so I decided that I would come to him."
The camera follows Calzone as he makes his way through the fields of ganja and steps in front of the Cairo Log Cabin, that fudgepackimg brownie factory. Hope they at least have weed in em Bubby.
"You're operating like a man that has nothing left to lose, CairoPops...but you have something, don't you? You have this Colorado dirt farm...and you have that damn dog too. Pocket Rocket Dog, am I right? The bionic hellhound?"
Maurice leans down and opens a long black case, where inside rests a RPG launcher. Maurice picks it up and hands it to D-LO.
"I have a message for you, dad."
D-LO pulls the trigger and the rocket blasts through the window, rocking the log cabin from within. Soon, the windows start to fill with flames as the roof catches fire.
"Everything burns."
The scene fades out as Maurice chucks a molotov into one of the bushels of pot, igniting the field in a blaze of death.
These...these were happier times. We watch the Bobdaddy play, laugh, cry, fuck, and ultimately grow into the man he will become. That man on his mantle, on a throne bejeweled with the poon of women jizzbombed and the vaginers of men he's crushed. That WHIRLED CHAMP-YUN-CHIP strap was nestled safely under his Thick, and all was right with the world.
But then that scene takes a turn for the worse. A-A-A left turn at Colorado onto that dirt farm road. Po' nigguh territory. Not as thick do, mind you.
These are dark times, dark times indeed. The scene fades into the middle of that pot farm where three unruly gentlemen stand as creatures of the night, garbed in black combat gear with turtle shells strapped around their backs - and colored headbands to boot.
These were three men that took their militant duties seriously. They were men sent to protect or sent to destroy if necessary.
And this week, they were casing that HAHD TAHGET, that Bobfather PopCairo of HORROR-GORE legend and myth. They were sneaking up on his Lincoln Log cabin under cover of the night and vast rows of cannabinoids.
Would have been a lean night if they weren't on duty.
D-LO C-LO, that child of DICKness took point on this mission, as he had a hard bone to pick with Cairo. The "Kaz Mazy" missing posters littered around Poon Guinnea reminded D-LO C-LO of the very own innocence he lost, and how his G-Daddy had once abandoned him to live in the sewers of Brooklyn.
That's where his Master Splinter had trained him, in that swampy dojo, that mystical ninji training ground. He had trained him so that he could pass his way on to his Brothers From Other Mothers, Maurice Zangles and Colin Marshall...and so that he could whip that dumbass smile off of the Godfather's face once and for all and take that HORROR-GORE CHAMP-YOON belt off of him.
D-LO motioned for Colin Marshall to pull out that iDRAWD's smarts phone so he could, perchance, impart a message onto Cairo, the only message he would ever have to send. Colin gave D-LO the thumbs up and that shit was on like Donkey Kong Country for the Super Nintendo.
"Bubby, LOL", D-LO imparted upon Cairo as if the heavens above were rent asunder, "Welcome back. Have you ever heard of a ritual killing, my father?"
D-LO waited for an answer. He waited for what felt like an eternity for Cairo to answer, but none ever came.
"It's just like my childhood", D-LO stated, a hedonistic look in his pupils, "Yeah, yeah it is. Waiting for daddy to come home. Waiting for pops to come and read me a bedtime story like the damn fool I was. It took me a few years to realize that nobody except bums and the unwanted live in sewers...by that time, I was already a turtle shell, footsie pajama wearing man, mein father."
D-LO licks his chops and brushes that cool head of blonde hair back.
"Eventually, I got tired of waiting for dad to come home...so I decided that I would come to him."
The camera follows Calzone as he makes his way through the fields of ganja and steps in front of the Cairo Log Cabin, that fudgepackimg brownie factory. Hope they at least have weed in em Bubby.
"You're operating like a man that has nothing left to lose, CairoPops...but you have something, don't you? You have this Colorado dirt farm...and you have that damn dog too. Pocket Rocket Dog, am I right? The bionic hellhound?"
Maurice leans down and opens a long black case, where inside rests a RPG launcher. Maurice picks it up and hands it to D-LO.
"I have a message for you, dad."
D-LO pulls the trigger and the rocket blasts through the window, rocking the log cabin from within. Soon, the windows start to fill with flames as the roof catches fire.
"Everything burns."
The scene fades out as Maurice chucks a molotov into one of the bushels of pot, igniting the field in a blaze of death.
