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Post by Deleted on Dec 31, 2015 20:08:04 GMT -5
The Spencer Adams character. I'd love to hear the world champyun go over some of my strengths and weaknesses and things I'm doing with the character or have done. "My Antidote" - A Review of Spencer Adams! Review preface: I really like Spencer Adams. I have a soft spot for him because he reminds me a lot of Colin Marshall and Kaz Mazy. You're doing some pretty awesome things with him that will be remembered along those lines. The TLC match at One is a perfect example of something Spencer Adams will be remembered for. Revitalizing the tag team division - which was in desperate need of it - will be another thing Spencer is remembered for along with Del Sol, Venable, and the rest of the guys putting in work in that area. RP wise? Your promos are nothing to turn a nose up at. You consistently bring it every week and you're definitely a force to be reckoned with on that front. But we're talking about your character here, and I can see him falling into some of the same pitfalls that I did as Colin and Kaz. On Colin: It's a lot to do with character development, especially if you're playing the "cut from the cloth" wrestler. Anyone can come up in the Dub with a character that proclaims they're a great wrestler. They came from the indies and now they're in the big leagues to show the world what's up. What makes Spencer special? What makes him stand out above them all? These are questions that you can only answer yourself. On Kaz: I fear Spencer may be labeled a "tag team" wrestler, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. But knowing you, and knowing Spencer, I know he has bigger dreams than being Tag Team Champion. On The People's Choice: This is really a solid trio, and I can see you guys taking away the Trios Tourney this year. That being said, there's a little too much mush in the trio. Everything went pretty well in the beginning when they captured the Tag Team and Trios Championship nearly back to back, but it wouldn't hurt to blanket cover paradise in some trouble. This could be something as simple as Spencer questioning if "People Power" is really going to get them as far as they imagined. Spencer has had some things in his life that have attempted to break his spirits. This could be another instance. It's how he combats these feelings and what he does that will define him moving forward. There is a huge void in the WCF, and that is "Who is the top babyface?". It could arguably be Joey Flash, but I still feel like that character has more redemption to be had before he fills that vacuum. There's so many candidates, but nobody who has really risen up to take that spot. I don't know if people are treading water or they're afraid to fail, but you never know until you take that shot. Just know that there can't be three top babyfaces, haha. Like I said, I'm a huge fan of Spencer, but right now your talent as a writer is belying your character and I feel there's something...else for you. I want to see your writing chops on full display! Overall, you have a pretty compelling character. One that I want to personally see make it! Great job Spencer! Thanks, man. I really appreciate you taking the time to do this. I've sort of had to work with the exact potential issues of the "wrestler" type of character that you speak on. I enjoy the comparisons, because I do see some of that Kaz Mazy path with Spencer (which definitely isn't a bad thing by the way). Spencer is definitely a character I have a major soft spot for since his IC growth and improvement is mirrored by the improvement that I've strived to achieve since I joined this federation. There are definitely a lot of different things coming in 2016 for me that I feel will provide me with an extra boost as I continue to try to climb up the ranks among all the crazy good writers such as yourself who occupy those top spots. I think as far as that top babyface spot goes, I know I'm a long ways away from that discussion and plan to build smart and make sure that if I get to the spot where I'm competing against the top guys and looked at as someone deserving the main event that I don't burn out or choke. There's definitely still a lot of development that I have to undergo as a writer. Again, thanks for this, KazMoor. You rock! |
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Post by Wade Moor on Dec 31, 2015 20:34:42 GMT -5
"My Antidote" - A Review of Spencer Adams! Review preface: I really like Spencer Adams. I have a soft spot for him because he reminds me a lot of Colin Marshall and Kaz Mazy. You're doing some pretty awesome things with him that will be remembered along those lines. The TLC match at One is a perfect example of something Spencer Adams will be remembered for. Revitalizing the tag team division - which was in desperate need of it - will be another thing Spencer is remembered for along with Del Sol, Venable, and the rest of the guys putting in work in that area. RP wise? Your promos are nothing to turn a nose up at. You consistently bring it every week and you're definitely a force to be reckoned with on that front. But we're talking about your character here, and I can see him falling into some of the same pitfalls that I did as Colin and Kaz. On Colin: It's a lot to do with character development, especially if you're playing the "cut from the cloth" wrestler. Anyone can come up in the Dub with a character that proclaims they're a great wrestler. They came from the indies and now they're in the big leagues to show the world what's up. What makes Spencer special? What makes him stand out above them all? These are questions that you can only answer yourself. On Kaz: I fear Spencer may be labeled a "tag team" wrestler, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. But knowing you, and knowing Spencer, I know he has bigger dreams than being Tag Team Champion. On The People's Choice: This is really a solid trio, and I can see you guys taking away the Trios Tourney this year. That being said, there's a little too much mush in the trio. Everything went pretty well in the beginning when they captured the Tag Team and Trios Championship nearly back to back, but it wouldn't hurt to blanket cover paradise in some trouble. This could be something as simple as Spencer questioning if "People Power" is really going to get them as far as they imagined. Spencer has had some things in his life that have attempted to break his spirits. This could be another instance. It's how he combats these feelings and what he does that will define him moving forward. There is a huge void in the WCF, and that is "Who is the top babyface?". It could arguably be Joey Flash, but I still feel like that character has more redemption to be had before he fills that vacuum. There's so many candidates, but nobody who has really risen up to take that spot. I don't know if people are treading water or they're afraid to fail, but you never know until you take that shot. Just know that there can't be three top babyfaces, haha. Like I said, I'm a huge fan of Spencer, but right now your talent as a writer is belying your character and I feel there's something...else for you. I want to see your writing chops on full display! Overall, you have a pretty compelling character. One that I want to personally see make it! Great job Spencer! Thanks, man. I really appreciate you taking the time to do this. I've sort of had to work with the exact potential issues of the "wrestler" type of character that you speak on. I enjoy the comparisons, because I do see some of that Kaz Mazy path with Spencer (which definitely isn't a bad thing by the way). Spencer is definitely a character I have a major soft spot for since his IC growth and improvement is mirrored by the improvement that I've strived to achieve since I joined this federation. There are definitely a lot of different things coming in 2016 for me that I feel will provide me with an extra boost as I continue to try to climb up the ranks among all the crazy good writers such as yourself who occupy those top spots. I think as far as that top babyface spot goes, I know I'm a long ways away from that discussion and plan to build smart and make sure that if I get to the spot where I'm competing against the top guys and looked at as someone deserving the main event that I don't burn out or choke. There's definitely still a lot of development that I have to undergo as a writer. Again, thanks for this, KazMoor. You rock! It was absolutely my pleasure! I'm going to be tentatively waiting for the one person whose like "Fuck you pal" in regards to my feedback lol. Also, I added you on Xbox. Hit me up bro. I have GTA V, ESO, and Destiny right now. Waiting a few days for WWE lol. |
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Post by Deleted on Dec 31, 2015 20:50:07 GMT -5
Thanks, man. I really appreciate you taking the time to do this. I've sort of had to work with the exact potential issues of the "wrestler" type of character that you speak on. I enjoy the comparisons, because I do see some of that Kaz Mazy path with Spencer (which definitely isn't a bad thing by the way). Spencer is definitely a character I have a major soft spot for since his IC growth and improvement is mirrored by the improvement that I've strived to achieve since I joined this federation. There are definitely a lot of different things coming in 2016 for me that I feel will provide me with an extra boost as I continue to try to climb up the ranks among all the crazy good writers such as yourself who occupy those top spots. I think as far as that top babyface spot goes, I know I'm a long ways away from that discussion and plan to build smart and make sure that if I get to the spot where I'm competing against the top guys and looked at as someone deserving the main event that I don't burn out or choke. There's definitely still a lot of development that I have to undergo as a writer. Again, thanks for this, KazMoor. You rock! It was absolutely my pleasure! I'm going to be tentatively waiting for the one person whose like "Fuck you pal" in regards to my feedback lol. Also, I added you on Xbox. Hit me up bro. I have GTA V, ESO, and Destiny right now. Waiting a few days for WWE lol. Sounds good, man. Writing right now and I'll be busy the next couple days, but I will when I have time for sure. |
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Post by Wade Moor on Dec 31, 2015 23:27:11 GMT -5
I meant more in regards to personal requests, so you would request a review of your promo, or your segment. Something like that. Oh mb. Well then two. The "I finally understand why they call it One" promo as a whole, and Andre Holmes' character growth. "A Day of Relentless Reviews" - The Andre Holmes Story Review Preface: I'm going to start this out by saying that the newcomer "hump" is a difficult one to get over. Your character is still in his infancy, but you're the kind of guy who will take any advice at face value and apply it to the future. That's a quality that a lot of people that play this game are lacking. So without further ado: Right off the bat, I can see why you made it to the end of the Torneo Cibernetico. You put a lot of effort into your roleplays, and it shows in your writing. You're going to be hard pressed to find a "newbie" that will come in and immediately try to up their game to a level they NEED it to be. You did that with no problem. That being said, I can see why you came in second. A lot of your effort was focused on Andre's family drama. It's not bad that you want to to show the world how Andre's putting on a brave face while his life is warping around him, but when it's about 3/4 of your roleplay, you're shooting yourself in the foot...and you need that for superkicks! Odin Balfore always told me that a roleplay should be anywhere from 50/50 shoot/CD to 70/30 shoot/CD. Your character development should never outweigh your match commentary or shoot. You're going to find people skimming through these parts to get to the meat of your roleplay: the part where you talk about your opponents! Not to discount CD or anything. Evolution is important in the game, but you should be spending more time convincing everyone why Andre will win his matches despite everything that's happening in his life. The character development portion did have a few flaws in it. Like Andre and Samantha are getting divorced, but they're still acting a little too mushy. There's no way that a divorce can just "fix" things like that. They're usually pretty messy, especially when the situation with the Holmes is as bad as it is. Alcoholic's are usually convinced that there is nothing wrong with what they're doing, and they generally spend most of their time drunk as piss. In the second roleplay, they're spending their time on the beach and it's almost like everything is back to normal despite it all. A better scene would have been Samantha pulling a flask out on the beach, her and Andre getting in another arguement, and then Serenity storms off to the pier. Andre is a man trying desperately to keep his family in one piece, Samantha is the one unintentionally tearing it apart. These are their roles. Samantha doesn't seem like a crippled alcoholic. Right now it just seems like Andre is making a mountain out of a molehill. And it seems like they're trying to "keep it together for their kids" but their kids seem very clued in to the situation, going as far to comment on it or even take responsibility for it. I don't really have much to offer up in the way od your shoot except "more". More is better, especially in thid match where you had 6 people to run through the mud. Your main focus shouldn't be trying to build your opponents up, it should be breaking them down to inneffectual nothings - in principle. Taking a perfectly capable wrestler and turning them into nothing is key. So, in review, focus that effort that you put into the family drama into your shoot and it will start to pay off in dividends. Once you get your feet wet, you'll notice how some things just start feeling more natural. Don't try to force anything either, or else it's going to come off as clunky or unrealistic. You have a character very grounded in the reality portion of WCF. Just be honest to your character through your writing and keep your nose to the grindstone, my man! |
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Post by Earth-616 Holmes on Jan 1, 2016 2:47:35 GMT -5
Oh mb. Well then two. The "I finally understand why they call it One" promo as a whole, and Andre Holmes' character growth. "A Day of Relentless Reviews" - The Andre Holmes Story Review Preface: I'm going to start this out by saying that the newcomer "hump" is a difficult one to get over. Your character is still in his infancy, but you're the kind of guy who will take any advice at face value and apply it to the future. That's a quality that a lot of people that play this game are lacking. So without further ado: Right off the bat, I can see why you made it to the end of the Torneo Cibernetico. You put a lot of effort into your roleplays, and it shows in your writing. You're going to be hard pressed to find a "newbie" that will come in and immediately try to up their game to a level they NEED it to be. You did that with no problem. That being said, I can see why you came in second. A lot of your effort was focused on Andre's family drama. It's not bad that you want to to show the world how Andre's putting on a brave face while his life is warping around him, but when it's about 3/4 of your roleplay, you're shooting yourself in the foot...and you need that for superkicks! Odin Balfore always told me that a roleplay should be anywhere from 50/50 shoot/CD to 70/30 shoot/CD. Your character development should never outweigh your match commentary or shoot. You're going to find people skimming through these parts to get to the meat of your roleplay: the part where you talk about your opponents! Not to discount CD or anything. Evolution is important in the game, but you should be spending more time convincing everyone why Andre will win his matches despite everything that's happening in his life. The character development portion did have a few flaws in it. Like Andre and Samantha are getting divorced, but they're still acting a little too mushy. There's no way that a divorce can just "fix" things like that. They're usually pretty messy, especially when the situation with the Holmes is as bad as it is. Alcoholic's are usually convinced that there is nothing wrong with what they're doing, and they generally spend most of their time drunk as piss. In the second roleplay, they're spending their time on the beach and it's almost like everything is back to normal despite it all. A better scene would have been Samantha pulling a flask out on the beach, her and Andre getting in another arguement, and then Serenity storms off to the pier. Andre is a man trying desperately to keep his family in one piece, Samantha is the one unintentionally tearing it apart. These are their roles. Samantha doesn't seem like a crippled alcoholic. Right now it just seems like Andre is making a mountain out of a molehill. And it seems like they're trying to "keep it together for their kids" but their kids seem very clued in to the situation, going as far to comment on it or even take responsibility for it. I don't really have much to offer up in the way od your shoot except "more". More is better, especially in thid match where you had 6 people to run through the mud. Your main focus shouldn't be trying to build your opponents up, it should be breaking them down to inneffectual nothings - in principle. Taking a perfectly capable wrestler and turning them into nothing is key. So, in review, focus that effort that you put into the family drama into your shoot and it will start to pay off in dividends. Once you get your feet wet, you'll notice how some things just start feeling more natural. Don't try to force anything either, or else it's going to come off as clunky or unrealistic. You have a character very grounded in the reality portion of WCF. Just be honest to your character through your writing and keep your nose to the grindstone, my man!  Bless your heart. |
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Post by Joey Flash on Jan 1, 2016 5:29:54 GMT -5
Oh mb. Well then two. The "I finally understand why they call it One" promo as a whole, and Andre Holmes' character growth. "A Day of Relentless Reviews" - The Andre Holmes Story Review Preface: I'm going to start this out by saying that the newcomer "hump" is a difficult one to get over. Your character is still in his infancy, but you're the kind of guy who will take any advice at face value and apply it to the future. That's a quality that a lot of people that play this game are lacking. So without further ado: Right off the bat, I can see why you made it to the end of the Torneo Cibernetico. You put a lot of effort into your roleplays, and it shows in your writing. You're going to be hard pressed to find a "newbie" that will come in and immediately try to up their game to a level they NEED it to be. You did that with no problem. That being said, I can see why you came in second. A lot of your effort was focused on Andre's family drama. It's not bad that you want to to show the world how Andre's putting on a brave face while his life is warping around him, but when it's about 3/4 of your roleplay, you're shooting yourself in the foot...and you need that for superkicks! Odin Balfore always told me that a roleplay should be anywhere from 50/50 shoot/CD to 70/30 shoot/CD. Your character development should never outweigh your match commentary or shoot. You're going to find people skimming through these parts to get to the meat of your roleplay: the part where you talk about your opponents! Not to discount CD or anything. Evolution is important in the game, but you should be spending more time convincing everyone why Andre will win his matches despite everything that's happening in his life. The character development portion did have a few flaws in it. Like Andre and Samantha are getting divorced, but they're still acting a little too mushy. There's no way that a divorce can just "fix" things like that. They're usually pretty messy, especially when the situation with the Holmes is as bad as it is. Alcoholic's are usually convinced that there is nothing wrong with what they're doing, and they generally spend most of their time drunk as piss. In the second roleplay, they're spending their time on the beach and it's almost like everything is back to normal despite it all. A better scene would have been Samantha pulling a flask out on the beach, her and Andre getting in another arguement, and then Serenity storms off to the pier. Andre is a man trying desperately to keep his family in one piece, Samantha is the one unintentionally tearing it apart. These are their roles. Samantha doesn't seem like a crippled alcoholic. Right now it just seems like Andre is making a mountain out of a molehill. And it seems like they're trying to "keep it together for their kids" but their kids seem very clued in to the situation, going as far to comment on it or even take responsibility for it. I don't really have much to offer up in the way od your shoot except "more". More is better, especially in thid match where you had 6 people to run through the mud. Your main focus shouldn't be trying to build your opponents up, it should be breaking them down to inneffectual nothings - in principle. Taking a perfectly capable wrestler and turning them into nothing is key. So, in review, focus that effort that you put into the family drama into your shoot and it will start to pay off in dividends. Once you get your feet wet, you'll notice how some things just start feeling more natural. Don't try to force anything either, or else it's going to come off as clunky or unrealistic. You have a character very grounded in the reality portion of WCF. Just be honest to your character through your writing and keep your nose to the grindstone, my man! Small addition to this: Don't elongate the 'shoot' part just because. It's patently obvious when people have run out of shit to say in the shoot and it ruins the good material they otherwise had! |
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Post by Earth-616 Holmes on Jan 1, 2016 10:21:50 GMT -5
"A Day of Relentless Reviews" - The Andre Holmes Story Review Preface: I'm going to start this out by saying that the newcomer "hump" is a difficult one to get over. Your character is still in his infancy, but you're the kind of guy who will take any advice at face value and apply it to the future. That's a quality that a lot of people that play this game are lacking. So without further ado: Right off the bat, I can see why you made it to the end of the Torneo Cibernetico. You put a lot of effort into your roleplays, and it shows in your writing. You're going to be hard pressed to find a "newbie" that will come in and immediately try to up their game to a level they NEED it to be. You did that with no problem. That being said, I can see why you came in second. A lot of your effort was focused on Andre's family drama. It's not bad that you want to to show the world how Andre's putting on a brave face while his life is warping around him, but when it's about 3/4 of your roleplay, you're shooting yourself in the foot...and you need that for superkicks! Odin Balfore always told me that a roleplay should be anywhere from 50/50 shoot/CD to 70/30 shoot/CD. Your character development should never outweigh your match commentary or shoot. You're going to find people skimming through these parts to get to the meat of your roleplay: the part where you talk about your opponents! Not to discount CD or anything. Evolution is important in the game, but you should be spending more time convincing everyone why Andre will win his matches despite everything that's happening in his life. The character development portion did have a few flaws in it. Like Andre and Samantha are getting divorced, but they're still acting a little too mushy. There's no way that a divorce can just "fix" things like that. They're usually pretty messy, especially when the situation with the Holmes is as bad as it is. Alcoholic's are usually convinced that there is nothing wrong with what they're doing, and they generally spend most of their time drunk as piss. In the second roleplay, they're spending their time on the beach and it's almost like everything is back to normal despite it all. A better scene would have been Samantha pulling a flask out on the beach, her and Andre getting in another arguement, and then Serenity storms off to the pier. Andre is a man trying desperately to keep his family in one piece, Samantha is the one unintentionally tearing it apart. These are their roles. Samantha doesn't seem like a crippled alcoholic. Right now it just seems like Andre is making a mountain out of a molehill. And it seems like they're trying to "keep it together for their kids" but their kids seem very clued in to the situation, going as far to comment on it or even take responsibility for it. I don't really have much to offer up in the way od your shoot except "more". More is better, especially in thid match where you had 6 people to run through the mud. Your main focus shouldn't be trying to build your opponents up, it should be breaking them down to inneffectual nothings - in principle. Taking a perfectly capable wrestler and turning them into nothing is key. So, in review, focus that effort that you put into the family drama into your shoot and it will start to pay off in dividends. Once you get your feet wet, you'll notice how some things just start feeling more natural. Don't try to force anything either, or else it's going to come off as clunky or unrealistic. You have a character very grounded in the reality portion of WCF. Just be honest to your character through your writing and keep your nose to the grindstone, my man! Small addition to this: Don't elongate the 'shoot' part just because. It's patently obvious when people have run out of shit to say in the shoot and it ruins the good material they otherwise had! Thanks guys. This means a lot and I'll definitely apply this in the future. I needed this. |
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Post by Deleted on Jan 14, 2016 19:04:15 GMT -5
Would you mind taking the time to review my general internet trash talk please? I really would like to know somebody's OOC opinion on wether Dag stands up with you guys or not. Thanks!
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Post by Tiffany White on Jan 24, 2016 17:48:07 GMT -5
Howdy broseidon. I dunno if you're still doing this, but if you are, do you think you can take the time to critique how i'm doing with Tiffany White so far? I'm interested to see how everyone feels about how the character is going so far.
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Post by Wade Moor on Jan 24, 2016 18:06:27 GMT -5
Sure am! I'll hook you up later when I'm off work!
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Post by K. L. Henson on Jan 24, 2016 20:39:11 GMT -5
I was just wondering a very specific question. In terms of the RPs, does Henson come close at all to a diminishing return on how dark he is?
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Post by Wade Moor on Jan 30, 2016 23:58:38 GMT -5
To everyone I owe a review,
I didn't forget about you! I have been busy as HAY-ell between a 50 hour work week and bustin out my promos, so I will get to them when I have a minute free!
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Post by Tiffany White on Jan 31, 2016 0:02:56 GMT -5
No rush my man, tackle this when you're ready  . |
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Post by Joey Flash on Jan 31, 2016 19:58:44 GMT -5
Review Howard Black's final RP.
Mini Review Dingir and Lugal Ki En!
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Post by Gemini Battle on Jan 31, 2016 22:00:09 GMT -5
Review Howard Black's final RP. Mini Review Dingir and Lugal Ki En! If your gonna do joeys rps against me can you do mine against him? |
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Post by Wade Moor on Feb 11, 2016 19:21:20 GMT -5
I guess I could use my week off to tackle this shit! Expect some reviews tonight!!!
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