Feedback on Strength through Loss

[ragemaxx]

I would really be open to any opinions or suggestions on my role playing. My last RP was Strength through Loss. Thanks guys.


Strength through Loss

[Greybeard]

I think you've done a good job of identifying your character. I'd like to see you get into a feud soon so you can rp something other than shoots at random opponents.

[Deleted]

Excellent straight shoot, though I feel that your focus is on last week, vice this week with your opponents upcoming.

I get the nuance that you are back in Memphis getting ready for your next bout. Hitting the bag, thinking about what you did wrong, and working said bag imagining how you are going to fix what mistakes you made in the ring at your next opponents expense, but I feel that you should have focused more on your upcoming opponents. Difficult, since they are new to WCF and they have little history save an application, but winning matches involves focusing on your opponents for this week, not last week.

Alas, good future build if you do face your previous opponents again down the road. You handled your loss well, and got back on the horse. I hope to see you around more and more. I believe you have a future, provided Real Life doesn't interfere, and you keep building on what you've started...

Also, do you have any support characters for Rage Maxx? A trainer, or a girlfriend, or something to that effect? Sometimes it helps to talk out wins and losses IC so that you can learn IC how to not make the same mistakes in your future matches. Development of side characters would probably benefit you very much in the long run.

Apologies if I seemed harsh at any point. But I also feel that if you do not get an honest feedback, you will not learn anything to help you in the future. Again, I hope to see more from you in the future, and I await to see how Rage Maxx develops in the future...

II

[Odin Balfore]

I get you in a couple of hours.

[ragemaxx]

Thanks Guys. I didn't sense any harshness. I am thankful for the feedback.

[ragemaxx]

Also on the mention of support characters, I have considered bringing in a valet when the time seems to be right for it. As of right now I'm trying to focus on building who Rage is but I see your point. That said, yes I will be bringing in a support role soon.

[Odin Balfore]

RP: Strength Through Loss


Handler: Rage Max^100




Overview thoughts: This a well-spoken bounce back promo from a loss. Enjoyed seeing the character come to terms and accept that there’s work to do




RP Breakdown

Scene description: 3

Character Development: 5

Shoot: 3

Flow: 5


Overall Rating: 4 out of 5




Critical Review:

There is more than one way to get a good review and write a great promo. This certainly isn’t a promo by some of the wordsmiths we have in WCF. But this IS a very good promo. This kind of promo is a rarity but pleasant to read. You took Rage, who sounds like he came in as a heel, the Mempho Mofo, The Baddest Man on the show and almost turned him face. In fact, I’m getting the face turn vibe. Heels don’t say what Rage said; they don’t admit defeat and personal failure to only come back and triumph. That’s face talk. And there is nothing wrong with that. A Good face is hard to find. With that said, let’s get into the RP breakdown.

Scene Description: The scene description struck me as average, that’s that’s OK if that’s what you’re going for. You don’t need to have 4 paragraphs describing the gym or the tape on the punching bag. The walls don’t need to Ooze with the blood and the sweat so many forgotten warriors that it weeps with both sadness and pride. You just need to get the point across and you did.

Character Development: Even with this short RP, you gave a ton of development. You took your heel character, made him human, said “ hey, I messed up but hell is still comin for ya’” That says so much about the character and the writer because it’s a willingness to continue in the face of defeat and push on, brush it off and go kick some ass. That’s all this RP needed to be. Hey, I lost but screw it, I’m kicking these guys asses next. Boom. End of story.

Shoot: I’m a stickler for shoot. That’s about the only thing I’m hard on and your shoot was ‘meh.’ There is more to match shoot than “ I’m kicking your ass and I’m going to win.” I mean, the shoot served more as your development than your match related content. It was there but it wasn’t a ground rule double or anything. You got on first. So that’s always good.

Flow: Nothing hindered the flow, you really gotta go out of your way to screw that up. Color coding was nice ( though not a must ) the font was nice, it was organized and it progressed the way it should have.



Suggestions:

- Expand, expand, expand. You have a great foundation in the sense of an old school promo. Those are great. But if you want to really succeed you gotta find a voice and build on what you’re doing.

- Extend your scene description

- Expand your shoot. Its hard for new guys but going forward, read a past RP and try and use it to add to what you have.

- Expand your character dynamics. 1D characters like Rage get stale quickly. Its easy to take a couple losses with that character and kick the bucket down the road into a re-roll for something different. Rage doesn’t need a crazy gimmick or past. Just like.. strong convictions and goals.

[ragemaxx]

Big thanks for the time you put into that review. It definitely shed some light on where I should focus on upcoming rp's. I have taken something from everyone who has commented and am very thankful for such good critiques and suggestions. Thanks guys.

[Deleted]

Odin/Z-Mac is probably the best at giving feedback that I know in the now 17 years I have been e-fedding. I knew there was a reason why I was apprehensive about giving feedback...

[ragemaxx]

Your feedback was welcomed. I am thankful for everyone who took the time to do so. You made some great points!