Post by logan on Oct 24, 2006 15:00:53 GMT -5
(This is a joint RP, by Jack of Blades, and me. Seth Lerch contributed a little too.)
The scene opens up to complete darkness, we hear a door quietly open. After it shuts, all you hear is a brief silence followed by snoring. The lights suddenly come on, and Jack of Blades is standing by the wall with his finger on the light switch. We finally figure out where were at, back inside the T.o.T office, and Logan apparently never left. Jack looks across the room, and spots Logan sleeping. Logan has a playboy magazine opened up in front of him, he sits in the chair with his face in the opened magazine, and drool running out of his mouth as he snores.
Jack of Blades: You ran out of toilet paper. But I see you had money to by Asian pornography.
Blades lifts Logan's head in a futile attempt as it simply slumps back down onto the publication.
Logan: The meeting was hours ago, Jack.
Logan continues speaking, while keeping his face glued to the magazine.
Jack of Blades: No it wasn't. You just have an extremely low tolerance to artificial light.
Logan: Hm.
Logan picks his head up, sitting in an upright position. The magazine still stuck to his face covering his eye sight.
Logan: Ah!
Logan suddenly panics.
Logan: Jack! I can't see!
Jack moves to take the paper away from Logan's face before relenting and enjoying his flailing for a moment. He finally takes it away after Logan begins to request for a 'white stick and one of those dogs for boudles.'
Jack of Blades: There you can now see all the world in its splendor including the very terrible lack of toilet paper.
Logan: No toilet paper, that's ridiculous.
Logan quickly grabs the magazine, and slips it underneath his chair.
Logan: I didn't have any pillows around here, I had to find some comfort. You know..
Logan looks away from Jack before coughing.
Jack of Blades: So unless you have anything else needed to be done I'm going to make another run into the hospital. And no, I don't want to spoon. Sorry, having a sexual deviant as a cohort makes you weary of such possible requests.
Logan: Actually, take a seat if you'd like. I like'd to get over a few things actually. I would? I wouldn't? Yes, I would.. I'm talking, Butch.
Logan turns away from Blades.
Logan: One second, Jack. Butch, this is important damnit.. okay? I've got many things to discuss, and the last thing I need is your random out bursts. Okay fine Logan, as long as we get to look at the porn magazine again after this promo. Okay, deal.
Logan turns back to Jack.
Logan: Sorry.. please, BOUDLE! Gawd damnit Butch. Sorry Logan, I'm done.
Logan coughs.
Logan: Please Jack, have a seat.
Jack complies somewhat puzzled by Logan's dual personalities. Getting in close to his leader, Blades beings to speak condescendingly.
Jack of Blades: Can 'I' speak to Logan?
Logan closes his eyes, and goes into a deep voice.
Logan: Logan's not here right now.
We smell a fart escape from Logan's presence. Logan tries his best not to laugh.
Jack sniffs.
Jack of Blades: Logan, give me another sign if that was you?
Logan farts once more.
Jack of Blades: It is you.
Logan opens his eyes.
Logan: I'm not that bad off, well.. not that I know of. Sometimes Butch says he usually goes out on little midnight walks when I go to sleep, one time I even woke up butt naked in the woods with lube smeared all over my ass. I'll never knew the story to that, well.. he never tells me. He says he can't remember either, but hey..
Logan leans in to Jack, taking his voice to a whisper.
Logan: Between me, and you.. that's BS.
Jack of Blades: Oh, I know. I was there.
Logan looks surprised.
Logan: Really?! What happened? Maybe I can finally get some truth out of this.
Jack of Blades: I don't know. After that guy with the pick axe and the molasses arrived, I sort of blanked out.
Logan: I guess we'll never know. But, besides all that.. we need to discuss a few things. I won't lie Jack, your my number one. Your my second in command.
Jack of Blades: Yeah, the guy with the pick axe and molasses said that as well.
Logan: Did he now? To a shed away from that dark horrible night in the woods, I'd like to ask you how you feel about the match this Sunday.
Jack of Blades: The retard, the merchandising whore, the plagiarist and the pervert? And then there's the New Dynasty...Personally, I don't care. Personally, I share the same level of hatred that I do with them as with any member of humanity.
Logan: I hope you wouldn't feel that way about little ole Loogie. Okay Logan, that was just gay. What?! "Little ole Loogie", you fag. SHUT UP! Butch! I told you not to interfere in my conversations. I won't Logan, just as long as you reframe from referring yourself to Loogie from now, then I'll stop.
Logan sighs.
Logan: Okay, fine.. no more Loogie. Thanks, Logan. Well, Jack, you do realize that if we beat them this Sunday that means NO MORE New Dynasty. That means, we own WCF, we f'n rule it. We become like the empire from Star Wars, and Dynasty just turns into a bunch of little rebels hiding out in the woods with little ewoks.
Jack of Blades: Did anyone else just imagine Creeping Death as Chewie?
Logan: Now that you say that..
Logan stares at the wall.
Logan: Wow. And Torture, eh.. damn Tort. Don't get US started on Torture, and when I say 'us' I mean me, and Butch. We hate that guy, right Butch? Uh, sure Logan. Yup, oh please don't get me started with Torture. Actually Logan, I'd prefer it if you didn't. Why Butch? Because I'm not in the mood to hear you go on, and on. Besides, the quicker this promo is over.. the quicker I'm looking at porn. What? Don't what me Logan, you remember the deal right? Oh, right.. the deal. I will say that, I think the referee in our match counted to quick when Tort did that little roll up. Wouldn't you agree Jack?
Jack of Blades: My name is Nate Nytro and I'm here to rescue you...hehe, what now?
Seth Lerch bursts into the room.
Seth Lerch: You know what? Dake Ken is just like the Millenium Falcon! He's okay, but he's totally unreliable. Like when Han, Chewie, Leia and the droids were escaping Hoth, and the Star Destroyers were following, and then they went through the asteroid field and landed on that big asteroid and went underground, but then it turns out they were just in a big worm and then they were attacked by mynocks, and then they flew out of the big space slug and the Star Destroyers chased them again, because they couldn't get into hyperspace, so then they just landed on the one Star Destroyer and no one noticed and they floated away with the trash, and then Boba Fett noticed and followed them to Cloud City!
Logan and Jack of Blades look at Lerch, dumbfounded.
Seth Lerch: Yeah! Dake Ken is TOTALLY just like that!
Logan and Jack continue staring, speechless.
Seth Lerch: Um... I'll be in the other room.
Seth exits.
Logan: What a dork.
Jack of Blades: Yeah. They are attacked by Shyracks...
Logan: Yup. Well, back to the match.. I'm not going make any promises, but I'm pretty damn sure we're going to crush The New Dynasty. I mean think Jack, their nothing really but a bunch of boudles that joined forces to try to make a name for themselves. They claim to be tired of being held back, and they think they deserve respect. They get no respect from me, and they never will. Not one of them boudles, matter of fact, they remind me of The Power Rangers. NOT that I ever watched that show, but for some reason while we're on the topic of that I'd like to compare Torture to the pink power ranger. You see Torture, I don't know if this has been pressed into your thick little skull yet.. but your fame is coming to an end this Sunday. Without your Power Rangers, your nothing. That means you can't combined powers no more, and make that super big power ranger. Eh Logan, are you sure you didn't watch the show? No Butch! And stop, I told you not to interrupt me no more. I wouldn't give Torture, or The Power Rangers the time of day. HA! How about that.
Jack of Blades: I concur. It's as if Torture is Rita Repulsa and Tommy, who would become the legendary White Ranger, are the fans. You see, Rita intercepted Tommy, or, stick with me, the fans and converted them to his/her way of thinking. Much like what Torture is doing. You see, the fans are fed 'evil' by Torture to keep them cheering for him and his little motley infidels. I am tired of it. You see, come Sunday, we are going to be the Power Rangers. Except the inferior Black Ranger. Not that he's inferior because he is black, but who wants a Wooly Mammoth as a token avatar. Tyrannosaurus Rex, yeah, but no watch out for the Furry Elephant that is the Black Ranger. Sorry, Jesper wakes me up every Saturday to watch it. But my point(s) are still as real.
Logan: Yes, indeed. I've had enough, I don't know about you Jack but..
Logan leans back, yawning.
Logan: Does this mean I can look at the porn magazine now, Logan? Uh, no Butch.
Logan slams his fist on the table, as the scene fades out.
The scene opens up to complete darkness, we hear a door quietly open. After it shuts, all you hear is a brief silence followed by snoring. The lights suddenly come on, and Jack of Blades is standing by the wall with his finger on the light switch. We finally figure out where were at, back inside the T.o.T office, and Logan apparently never left. Jack looks across the room, and spots Logan sleeping. Logan has a playboy magazine opened up in front of him, he sits in the chair with his face in the opened magazine, and drool running out of his mouth as he snores.
Jack of Blades: You ran out of toilet paper. But I see you had money to by Asian pornography.
Blades lifts Logan's head in a futile attempt as it simply slumps back down onto the publication.
Logan: The meeting was hours ago, Jack.
Logan continues speaking, while keeping his face glued to the magazine.
Jack of Blades: No it wasn't. You just have an extremely low tolerance to artificial light.
Logan: Hm.
Logan picks his head up, sitting in an upright position. The magazine still stuck to his face covering his eye sight.
Logan: Ah!
Logan suddenly panics.
Logan: Jack! I can't see!
Jack moves to take the paper away from Logan's face before relenting and enjoying his flailing for a moment. He finally takes it away after Logan begins to request for a 'white stick and one of those dogs for boudles.'
Jack of Blades: There you can now see all the world in its splendor including the very terrible lack of toilet paper.
Logan: No toilet paper, that's ridiculous.
Logan quickly grabs the magazine, and slips it underneath his chair.
Logan: I didn't have any pillows around here, I had to find some comfort. You know..
Logan looks away from Jack before coughing.
Jack of Blades: So unless you have anything else needed to be done I'm going to make another run into the hospital. And no, I don't want to spoon. Sorry, having a sexual deviant as a cohort makes you weary of such possible requests.
Logan: Actually, take a seat if you'd like. I like'd to get over a few things actually. I would? I wouldn't? Yes, I would.. I'm talking, Butch.
Logan turns away from Blades.
Logan: One second, Jack. Butch, this is important damnit.. okay? I've got many things to discuss, and the last thing I need is your random out bursts. Okay fine Logan, as long as we get to look at the porn magazine again after this promo. Okay, deal.
Logan turns back to Jack.
Logan: Sorry.. please, BOUDLE! Gawd damnit Butch. Sorry Logan, I'm done.
Logan coughs.
Logan: Please Jack, have a seat.
Jack complies somewhat puzzled by Logan's dual personalities. Getting in close to his leader, Blades beings to speak condescendingly.
Jack of Blades: Can 'I' speak to Logan?
Logan closes his eyes, and goes into a deep voice.
Logan: Logan's not here right now.
We smell a fart escape from Logan's presence. Logan tries his best not to laugh.
Jack sniffs.
Jack of Blades: Logan, give me another sign if that was you?
Logan farts once more.
Jack of Blades: It is you.
Logan opens his eyes.
Logan: I'm not that bad off, well.. not that I know of. Sometimes Butch says he usually goes out on little midnight walks when I go to sleep, one time I even woke up butt naked in the woods with lube smeared all over my ass. I'll never knew the story to that, well.. he never tells me. He says he can't remember either, but hey..
Logan leans in to Jack, taking his voice to a whisper.
Logan: Between me, and you.. that's BS.
Jack of Blades: Oh, I know. I was there.
Logan looks surprised.
Logan: Really?! What happened? Maybe I can finally get some truth out of this.
Jack of Blades: I don't know. After that guy with the pick axe and the molasses arrived, I sort of blanked out.
Logan: I guess we'll never know. But, besides all that.. we need to discuss a few things. I won't lie Jack, your my number one. Your my second in command.
Jack of Blades: Yeah, the guy with the pick axe and molasses said that as well.
Logan: Did he now? To a shed away from that dark horrible night in the woods, I'd like to ask you how you feel about the match this Sunday.
Jack of Blades: The retard, the merchandising whore, the plagiarist and the pervert? And then there's the New Dynasty...Personally, I don't care. Personally, I share the same level of hatred that I do with them as with any member of humanity.
Logan: I hope you wouldn't feel that way about little ole Loogie. Okay Logan, that was just gay. What?! "Little ole Loogie", you fag. SHUT UP! Butch! I told you not to interfere in my conversations. I won't Logan, just as long as you reframe from referring yourself to Loogie from now, then I'll stop.
Logan sighs.
Logan: Okay, fine.. no more Loogie. Thanks, Logan. Well, Jack, you do realize that if we beat them this Sunday that means NO MORE New Dynasty. That means, we own WCF, we f'n rule it. We become like the empire from Star Wars, and Dynasty just turns into a bunch of little rebels hiding out in the woods with little ewoks.
Jack of Blades: Did anyone else just imagine Creeping Death as Chewie?
Logan: Now that you say that..
Logan stares at the wall.
Logan: Wow. And Torture, eh.. damn Tort. Don't get US started on Torture, and when I say 'us' I mean me, and Butch. We hate that guy, right Butch? Uh, sure Logan. Yup, oh please don't get me started with Torture. Actually Logan, I'd prefer it if you didn't. Why Butch? Because I'm not in the mood to hear you go on, and on. Besides, the quicker this promo is over.. the quicker I'm looking at porn. What? Don't what me Logan, you remember the deal right? Oh, right.. the deal. I will say that, I think the referee in our match counted to quick when Tort did that little roll up. Wouldn't you agree Jack?
Jack of Blades: My name is Nate Nytro and I'm here to rescue you...hehe, what now?
Seth Lerch bursts into the room.
Seth Lerch: You know what? Dake Ken is just like the Millenium Falcon! He's okay, but he's totally unreliable. Like when Han, Chewie, Leia and the droids were escaping Hoth, and the Star Destroyers were following, and then they went through the asteroid field and landed on that big asteroid and went underground, but then it turns out they were just in a big worm and then they were attacked by mynocks, and then they flew out of the big space slug and the Star Destroyers chased them again, because they couldn't get into hyperspace, so then they just landed on the one Star Destroyer and no one noticed and they floated away with the trash, and then Boba Fett noticed and followed them to Cloud City!
Logan and Jack of Blades look at Lerch, dumbfounded.
Seth Lerch: Yeah! Dake Ken is TOTALLY just like that!
Logan and Jack continue staring, speechless.
Seth Lerch: Um... I'll be in the other room.
Seth exits.
Logan: What a dork.
Jack of Blades: Yeah. They are attacked by Shyracks...
Logan: Yup. Well, back to the match.. I'm not going make any promises, but I'm pretty damn sure we're going to crush The New Dynasty. I mean think Jack, their nothing really but a bunch of boudles that joined forces to try to make a name for themselves. They claim to be tired of being held back, and they think they deserve respect. They get no respect from me, and they never will. Not one of them boudles, matter of fact, they remind me of The Power Rangers. NOT that I ever watched that show, but for some reason while we're on the topic of that I'd like to compare Torture to the pink power ranger. You see Torture, I don't know if this has been pressed into your thick little skull yet.. but your fame is coming to an end this Sunday. Without your Power Rangers, your nothing. That means you can't combined powers no more, and make that super big power ranger. Eh Logan, are you sure you didn't watch the show? No Butch! And stop, I told you not to interrupt me no more. I wouldn't give Torture, or The Power Rangers the time of day. HA! How about that.
Jack of Blades: I concur. It's as if Torture is Rita Repulsa and Tommy, who would become the legendary White Ranger, are the fans. You see, Rita intercepted Tommy, or, stick with me, the fans and converted them to his/her way of thinking. Much like what Torture is doing. You see, the fans are fed 'evil' by Torture to keep them cheering for him and his little motley infidels. I am tired of it. You see, come Sunday, we are going to be the Power Rangers. Except the inferior Black Ranger. Not that he's inferior because he is black, but who wants a Wooly Mammoth as a token avatar. Tyrannosaurus Rex, yeah, but no watch out for the Furry Elephant that is the Black Ranger. Sorry, Jesper wakes me up every Saturday to watch it. But my point(s) are still as real.
Logan: Yes, indeed. I've had enough, I don't know about you Jack but..
Logan leans back, yawning.
Logan: Does this mean I can look at the porn magazine now, Logan? Uh, no Butch.
Logan slams his fist on the table, as the scene fades out.
