Pumpkin Taliban The Gourd Terrorist
Nov 29, 2015 0:03:53 GMT -5
via mobile
Night Rider, Bonnie Blue, and 1 more like this
Post by Oblivion on Nov 29, 2015 0:03:53 GMT -5
November 27, 2015
Corpus Christi, Texas
North Beach Mall
A roar, of an engine, echoes out. A black 1969 Corvette Stingray speeds up as tires squeal, parking abruptly....
Unknown person: Hey asshole!! Watch out. I got some nerve to walk over there and KICK... YOUR... ASS!!!
The front driver's side door opens and very large black boots hit the pavement. The vehicle shifts as Oblivion gets out of the Corvette. The unknown person sees Oblivion...
Unknown person: Um, nevermind.
The person just scurries away. The Monster walks towards the mall.
OblivSEAon: What the Hell?!
Oblivion looks ahead, near the mall entrance. There are numerous amount of people already there, standing in line. Some people have camped out for the Black Friday Christmas shopping. The God of Insanity shrugs IT's shoulders.
OblivSEAon: Fuck it!!
The Dark Messiah pushes IT's way through the sea of impatient soon to be shoppers, to get to the front of the line.
Person #1: Hey no cuts.
Person #2: Hey jackass!! Back to the end of the line!!
The surrounding area is really crowded. The zombie-like crazed shoppers push forward, colliding against the back of The God of Insanity. Oblivion freaks out and roars towards the people behind IT.
The Dark Messiah doesn't bother disguising ITself. Why should IT? With half IT's face disfigured by IT's own hands, if someone is disgusted... JUST TURN AWAY.
Oblivion is wearing IT's full wrestling gear, including a replica of IT's own original mask, which was given to The Dark Timekeeper. Women and small children scream bloody murder at the appearance of The Dark One.
Oblivion, getting impatient, decides to have some fun.
OblivSEAon: LET US IN!! LET US IN!! LET US IN!! LET US IN!!!
By now, the rest of the crowd shouts out along with Oblivion, in glass shattering decibels. The store manager barely opens the door, before the mob, of shoppers, charge forward, knocking down the manager and two sales clerks.
In a rushing force, of military precision and sounding like a tornado siren, the group of crazed shoppers charge ahead. With a display of WCF action figures several feet ahead, the crowd is shouting, pushing and smacking.
The scene is out of complete and total chaos. Oblivion is violently elbowing people out of the way, until IT pulls out a modified toy gun. The noise output sounds like a fully automatic weapon.
People scatter. Now, the display is all Oblivion's. Well, not completely true. An older woman shuffles close to the display. The Monster looks down at the old lady, who looks up.
Old lady: Oh my.
Without saying a word, Oblivion grabs the head, of the old lady and shoves her face in IT's ass, passing a ghastly, egg smelling wind that makes the old lady puke then pass out, collapsing on the cold floor.
OblivSEAon: The Monster doesn't want any of this shit!! IT just didn't want anyone else taking them.
The God of Insanity grabs a Bonnie Blue action figure, looking at it. But, something else catches IT's attention... a Doc Henry action figure.
The Dark One proceeds to set the figure on fire, before dropping it on the floor. Oblivion pisses on the figure, to put out the fire. IT looks down at the melted figure...
OblivSEAon: Doc Henry... PISS ON YOU!!
The nearby people freak out. Oblivion notices a woman, standing around five nine, with straight dark colored hair, looking at The Monster. Oblivion notices something, he looks down then back at the woman, who has a huge smile across her face. The woman quickly raises her eyebrows, repetitiously, very quickly.
Oblivion places IT's hands down on both sides, of IT's johnson with fingers pointing towards his crotch. Oblivion smirks with pride, as the woman smiles and gives a thumb's up.
Oblivion tucks in IT's junk back in IT's pants. There is one thing that puts a chill up the spine of any monster...
Voice singing: Chestnuts roasting on an open fire. Jack Frost nipping at your nose.
Oblivion shutters in disgust, before face palming a woman, then walk away. Oblivion walks several feet before coming up to something that is the sign, of the Apocalypse...
Santa Claus: HO!! HO!! HO!! MEEEEERRRRY CHRISTMAS!! HO! HO! HO!!
There is a long line, waiting for Santa Claus. The area looks like something from the North Pole. There is faux snow and candy cane decorations.
While standing in line, people are standing on fake snow and are surrounded by red velvet ropes. What people don't know is, that there are WCF wrestlers are disguised as Santa Claus and two of his helpers.
OblivSEAon: Holy shit!! Is that Cryboy McEmo, Jhon Sena and Tom Phelleck?!? McEmo as Santa?! HAHAHAHA!!
Santa yells out...
Santa Claus: NEXT!!
Oblivion steps up to Santa, KNOWING the truth of his identity and Santa knows that Oblivion knows. Santa's helpers approach Oblivion, who stares down Sena and Phelleck, who walks away. Oblivion plops down on Santa's lap. The Not So Jolly One winces in pain. The voice of Santa is altered.
Santa Claus: What do YOU want for Christmas?!
OblivSEAon: First, I would like Punkin Caliban's bloody scalp on a silver platter. A naked Bonnie Blue.
Santa whispers in the ear of The God of Insanity.
Santa Claus: Obsess much?
OblivSEAon: Shut up, fat boy and play the part. IT also wants brand new torture devices.
Santa Claus: Torture devices?!
OblivSEAon: Yeah, duh!! You cannot have a naked Bonnie Blue in front of you without the very best cutting utensils at your disposal to cut into the skin of her country ass.
Santa Claus gets obviously disgusted. The Dark One explains...
OblivSEAon: You have to understand, Santa. I HATE that bitch!! But, wouldn't you know it, she would end up, looking absolutely fucking awesome naked!!
A few people covers the ears of some of the children. Oblivion hops off the lap of Santa...
Santa Claus: Thank God.
The God of Insanity kneels down purposely looks at the mothers.
OblivSEAon: Bonnie Blue would look awesome naked!! IT would love to cut into her pasty white skin.
Santa Claus: I think it is time for you to go... weirdo.
OblivSEAon: The way she would look when she would bounce up and down.
Santa Claus: Please stop!! Think of the children!!
Random person: Yea, you're traumatizing my kid here!!
The Monster bends down closer, looking at a child.
OblivSEAon: Her ample and perky breasts bounce vigorously.
The child begins to cry and the mall security comes running. Oblivion quickly grabs IT's crotch, screams out...
OblivSEAon: CHRISTMAS IS A LIE!! CHRISTMAS IS A LIE!! SANTA CLAUS IS DEAD!! HE'S SITTING IN MY CLOSET WITH WHAT IS LEFT OF RUDOLPH!! THIS SANTA IS A FRAUD!! A FAKE!!
The Monster points at Santa Claus.
OblivSEAon: You sir are a phony. A BIG FAT PHONY!!
Oblivion yells at the crowd.
OblivSEAon: Hey everybody, that guy is a big fat phony!!
The crowd begins to boo.
The crowd: PHONY!! PHONY!! PHONY!!
OblivSEAon: This fake ass Santa is a big fat phony just like Punkin Caliban. Caliban is NOT a monster!! OblivSEAon is the monster!!
IT eats little kids and hurt your mommies. IT cooks puppies and blows up little kitties.
The kids begin to cry. Oblivion laughs while pointing at the little children.
OblivSEAon: BOO HOO!! Cry you little brats. You better hope that your puppies and kitties are at home and not in my oven!! Make kitty stew and use the heads of those stupid dogs as bowls.
Santa creeps up on Oblivion... But, The Monster turns around stomps the gut, of Santa. Then with quick second precision, Oblivion nails Santa with a Surfnap, a double underhook ddt. Jhon Sena and Tom Phelleck come running and The Dark Messiah nails both of them with superkicks.
The Monster looks down at IT's handy work, but turns quickly as IT sees the mall security. Oblivion bolts before the bumbling, stumbling security guards could catch IT.
A FEW HOURS LATER
Oblivion roars up to the parking space, at North Beach. The Corvette's engine roars out a couple of times, before the engine stops. The Monster grabs a flat leather baby head shaped coin sack, where the keys are put. IT gets out of the car. With an old container of Turtle Wax, in IT's hand.
But, it should be no surprise, there is barely any turtle wax in the container. What is in the circular container is bacon grease, in which Oblivion wipes all over IT's well sculpted body. IT's muscles glisten in the sun.
The Dark Messiah is wearing a clown faced g-string bathing suit, with a long nose. IT walks onto the hot sidewalk, not being bothered by the hot sidewalk. The sidewalk ends,as the hot sand begins. Lucky for him, Oblivion didn't forget IT's beach towel, which has a full spread of a Hustler centerfold on it.
The Monster doesn't walk far before people begin to stare. Oblivion puts down IT's towel, which gets a few glances. The Dark One IS excited to be at the beach. IT flexes IT's muscles before slowly jogging towards the Gulf of Mexico.
No lifeguard can do what The Monster Guardian of the Brocean can do. Right as Oblivion gets to the water, IT sees two voluptuous beauties in string bikinis running down the beach. It would seem as IT's clown g-string swim gear imitates Pinocchio.
Oblivion goes for a swim. After several minutes, IT gets out of the water. Oblivion decides to walk back to IT's towel, where IT grabs for the baby head coin bag.
Surprisingly no one touched the baby head coin bag. The Monster walks up to the nearby snack bar, where a few people recognized Oblivion.
Man #1: Hey!! Hey!! You're Oblivion!!
Man #2: Yea, hate to say it, you had been slipping the past couple of years.
Man #3: You DO have to admit tho, despite all that recently, things have been picking up. Joining up with Beachkrew could be the best thing for ya.
OblivSEAon: No doubt. No doubt. You all know WCF is in town. At Slam, yours truly is facing Punkin Caliban.
Man #1: Don't you mean Jordan Caliban.
OblivSEAon: No, his name is Punkin Caliban.
Man #2: No, Oblivion is right... Sorry, that's right. OblivSEAon was correct. His name now is Punkin Caliban.
OblivSEAon: IT knows we are all grown ass men here. Would you like to hear a funny story?
All of the men nod and said yes.
OblivSEAon: Well, this story is about Pumpkin Taliban, The Gourd Terrorist. On a small farm, which happens to be the best farm around. But, there are these people who used to work on this farm, would go to the Department of Agriculture.
They said lies about the farm, the farmers, and the farmhands. A former farmhand named Isaac would spread rumors about the farm on a special farming periodical. The farmer told the farmhands not worry and disregard what Isaac would say.
But, one day, when it looked all lost on the pumpkin patch... what looked like something was about to sprout and it looked promising. The roots were strong, itty bitty little leaves starts to show. But, once this promising sprouting pumpkin was making progress, it just disappeared.
But, one day it started to sprout again. Once again, looking healthy. So, the farmer planted more pumpkin seeds. Those seeds started to sprout as well. But, that new pumpkin started to kill off the other pumpkins. Terrorizing the other planted foods.
The other plants would die out, turning black, as if it looked like a bomb had been dropped on the other plants. The surrounding areas around the dead plants, become dead grounds. No other foods could be planted. But, this pumpkin was becoming a strong gourd. A healthy gourd. The only food able to prosper in the field.
The farmer was reluctantly proud of his growing pumpkin. But, the farmer was weary of this special gourd, knowing for some reason that this plant would grow strong, while other plants would die out. The farmer gave a nickname to the pumpkin... Pumpkin Taliban... The Gourd Terrorist.
Man #3: Now, don't you have an opponent for your upcoming match named Punkin Caliban? Yea, I heard he was talking some mad stupid trash at you. What do you say about that?!
OblivSEAon: Don't you wanna hear the end of the story?!
Man #1: No, not really. Good comparison. Nice parallelism between the story and Punkin Cali... Wait!! His name is Punkin?! Punkin?! That is what I call my wife. But, a grown ass man is named Punkin?! What a fruitcake!!
Man #2: A fruit booty!!
A bunch of kids walk past...
Kids: BOOTY!! BOOTY!!
Kid #1: WHOA!! That's Oblivion!! The Monster!!
Kid #2: He's nasty!! Scary!!
Oblivion whispers to the other guys...
OblivSEAon: Guys... watch this.
Now, the kids are paying no mind to anything, just talking to themselves.
OblivSEAon: Hey kids!!
All three kids turned around and within a microsec-...
OblivSEAon: BOO!!
The kids freak out loudly after Oblivion lunges out towards them, towering over them. The three boys flee in three different directions, dropping their ice cream in the process. The three men and The Monster laugh their asses off.
Man #2: Okay, my friend has his phone. Do a little promo. I think the world love to hear your response on Punkin.. <snicker> Punkin Caliban.
Man #3: Hey, what smells like bacon?!
Oblivion smells ITself.
OblivSEAon: Punkin... precious precious Punkin. Listen up boopsey. The Beachkrew is going strong!! We dominate this shit!! You just happen to be on IT's next dinner menu. You all sonsabitches joke about all the stuff OblivSEAon has done in the past.
You laughed at the fact, that The Monster has done some horrible horrific things to women, to men, children and even animals. IT has drank blood. Eaten human flesh. But, the other brain dead mouth breathers said becuz of the business we are in, it all had to be fabricated.
Seth Lerch would never get involved. The FBI has even visited his office. Nothing they have on Oblivion, can stick. Mountains of bullshit evidence and still, yours truly is standing here, laughing at the system. Now, Caliban... The Monster Guardian of the Brocean is laughing at you.
Once we step inside that ring, MY world, you basically will be nonexisting!! Just because Oblivion is a very large muscular individual, doesn't mean The Monster is just a brawler. Do your homework. Watch some film. IT can wrestle!! IT knows submission wrestling!!
Hell, you can also call Oblivion The Monster Guardian of the Sky!! The Dark One can fly as well. IT's Meatsacks know, when they watch Slam on Sunday, they will see precious widdle Punkin about to get outmatched by yours truly, The Monster OblivSEAon.
Beachkrew will know that their bright star, their diamond in the rough... Their pearl on the reef, will outmatch, outwrestle and outclass Punkin Caliban. He denies his own past, but demands more respect. Fuck that!! Kiss IT's ass, Caliban. Who ARE you?!
Why must you waste IT's time. You're gonna make OblivSEAon talk in circles. There is NOT much to say about you. The Monster doesn't have a soul. IT does have one thing that you DON'T have and that is heart!! Oblivion has more heart than you have. More than you will ever have!!
You don't agree? Then you don't read well, then. It's a God damn fact that people come looking for a fight against Oblivion. Why?! Because they know... EVERYONE KNOWS... IT gives them a fight. Like it or not... Inside WCF we have athletes.
Athletes LOVE competition!! IT gives all IT has, in competition. It has fought the best and has defeated some, of the best. OblivSEAon has won the world title, amongst a total of 14 championships. Including a record eight hardcore championships.
OBLIVION IS THE EPITOME OF HARDCORE!! HARDCORE GOD ALMIGHTY!! You're just... Punkin. Nothing else nothing more. On Sunday, the only thing you're gonna end being remembered as... just a bloodstain, shit stain, a stain on everyone's intelligence.
So, Punkin Caliban kiss your ass goodbye. Just have the simple satisfaction that you got your ass beat by a beast, who was given the name Monster for a reason. Oblivion who will be remembered as The Hardcore Icon and Punkin Caliban will be remembered as... WHO?!
Man #1: Damn!! Who ARE you fighting?
Man#2: Oblivion is wrestling... Um...
Man #3: C'mon guys get serious. Oblivion mentioned his name several times.
Man #2: So, what's his name then?
Man #3: Yes, dude. What IS his name?!
Man #1: It's... It's... DAMN!! I cannot remember his name. Screw it. After Sunday, it's not gonna matter anyways.
OblivSEAon: Hey.. Hey... we got jokes. But, Caliban all seriousness!! Oblivion is going to beat... your... motherfucking ass!! Enough said. Oblivion out.
Man #3: But, I'm not done recording.
Oblivion: Record this...
WHAM!!!
Man #3 stumbles back and falls on his ass, dropping his phone. What no one realized is that The Pet, Stitches, and Mini Oblivion were recording the whole thing...
Mini Oblivion: BITCHEEEEEESS!!
The scene slowly fades away, as the Paramedics arrive and checks on the fallen Man #3, who has a small pool of blood around his head, on the concrete.
Corpus Christi, Texas
North Beach Mall
A roar, of an engine, echoes out. A black 1969 Corvette Stingray speeds up as tires squeal, parking abruptly....
Unknown person: Hey asshole!! Watch out. I got some nerve to walk over there and KICK... YOUR... ASS!!!
The front driver's side door opens and very large black boots hit the pavement. The vehicle shifts as Oblivion gets out of the Corvette. The unknown person sees Oblivion...
Unknown person: Um, nevermind.
The person just scurries away. The Monster walks towards the mall.
OblivSEAon: What the Hell?!
Oblivion looks ahead, near the mall entrance. There are numerous amount of people already there, standing in line. Some people have camped out for the Black Friday Christmas shopping. The God of Insanity shrugs IT's shoulders.
OblivSEAon: Fuck it!!
The Dark Messiah pushes IT's way through the sea of impatient soon to be shoppers, to get to the front of the line.
Person #1: Hey no cuts.
Person #2: Hey jackass!! Back to the end of the line!!
The surrounding area is really crowded. The zombie-like crazed shoppers push forward, colliding against the back of The God of Insanity. Oblivion freaks out and roars towards the people behind IT.
The Dark Messiah doesn't bother disguising ITself. Why should IT? With half IT's face disfigured by IT's own hands, if someone is disgusted... JUST TURN AWAY.
Oblivion is wearing IT's full wrestling gear, including a replica of IT's own original mask, which was given to The Dark Timekeeper. Women and small children scream bloody murder at the appearance of The Dark One.
Oblivion, getting impatient, decides to have some fun.
OblivSEAon: LET US IN!! LET US IN!! LET US IN!! LET US IN!!!
By now, the rest of the crowd shouts out along with Oblivion, in glass shattering decibels. The store manager barely opens the door, before the mob, of shoppers, charge forward, knocking down the manager and two sales clerks.
In a rushing force, of military precision and sounding like a tornado siren, the group of crazed shoppers charge ahead. With a display of WCF action figures several feet ahead, the crowd is shouting, pushing and smacking.
The scene is out of complete and total chaos. Oblivion is violently elbowing people out of the way, until IT pulls out a modified toy gun. The noise output sounds like a fully automatic weapon.
People scatter. Now, the display is all Oblivion's. Well, not completely true. An older woman shuffles close to the display. The Monster looks down at the old lady, who looks up.
Old lady: Oh my.
Without saying a word, Oblivion grabs the head, of the old lady and shoves her face in IT's ass, passing a ghastly, egg smelling wind that makes the old lady puke then pass out, collapsing on the cold floor.
OblivSEAon: The Monster doesn't want any of this shit!! IT just didn't want anyone else taking them.
The God of Insanity grabs a Bonnie Blue action figure, looking at it. But, something else catches IT's attention... a Doc Henry action figure.
The Dark One proceeds to set the figure on fire, before dropping it on the floor. Oblivion pisses on the figure, to put out the fire. IT looks down at the melted figure...
OblivSEAon: Doc Henry... PISS ON YOU!!
The nearby people freak out. Oblivion notices a woman, standing around five nine, with straight dark colored hair, looking at The Monster. Oblivion notices something, he looks down then back at the woman, who has a huge smile across her face. The woman quickly raises her eyebrows, repetitiously, very quickly.
Oblivion places IT's hands down on both sides, of IT's johnson with fingers pointing towards his crotch. Oblivion smirks with pride, as the woman smiles and gives a thumb's up.
Oblivion tucks in IT's junk back in IT's pants. There is one thing that puts a chill up the spine of any monster...
Voice singing: Chestnuts roasting on an open fire. Jack Frost nipping at your nose.
Oblivion shutters in disgust, before face palming a woman, then walk away. Oblivion walks several feet before coming up to something that is the sign, of the Apocalypse...
Santa Claus: HO!! HO!! HO!! MEEEEERRRRY CHRISTMAS!! HO! HO! HO!!
There is a long line, waiting for Santa Claus. The area looks like something from the North Pole. There is faux snow and candy cane decorations.
While standing in line, people are standing on fake snow and are surrounded by red velvet ropes. What people don't know is, that there are WCF wrestlers are disguised as Santa Claus and two of his helpers.
OblivSEAon: Holy shit!! Is that Cryboy McEmo, Jhon Sena and Tom Phelleck?!? McEmo as Santa?! HAHAHAHA!!
Santa yells out...
Santa Claus: NEXT!!
Oblivion steps up to Santa, KNOWING the truth of his identity and Santa knows that Oblivion knows. Santa's helpers approach Oblivion, who stares down Sena and Phelleck, who walks away. Oblivion plops down on Santa's lap. The Not So Jolly One winces in pain. The voice of Santa is altered.
Santa Claus: What do YOU want for Christmas?!
OblivSEAon: First, I would like Punkin Caliban's bloody scalp on a silver platter. A naked Bonnie Blue.
Santa whispers in the ear of The God of Insanity.
Santa Claus: Obsess much?
OblivSEAon: Shut up, fat boy and play the part. IT also wants brand new torture devices.
Santa Claus: Torture devices?!
OblivSEAon: Yeah, duh!! You cannot have a naked Bonnie Blue in front of you without the very best cutting utensils at your disposal to cut into the skin of her country ass.
Santa Claus gets obviously disgusted. The Dark One explains...
OblivSEAon: You have to understand, Santa. I HATE that bitch!! But, wouldn't you know it, she would end up, looking absolutely fucking awesome naked!!
A few people covers the ears of some of the children. Oblivion hops off the lap of Santa...
Santa Claus: Thank God.
The God of Insanity kneels down purposely looks at the mothers.
OblivSEAon: Bonnie Blue would look awesome naked!! IT would love to cut into her pasty white skin.
Santa Claus: I think it is time for you to go... weirdo.
OblivSEAon: The way she would look when she would bounce up and down.
Santa Claus: Please stop!! Think of the children!!
Random person: Yea, you're traumatizing my kid here!!
The Monster bends down closer, looking at a child.
OblivSEAon: Her ample and perky breasts bounce vigorously.
The child begins to cry and the mall security comes running. Oblivion quickly grabs IT's crotch, screams out...
OblivSEAon: CHRISTMAS IS A LIE!! CHRISTMAS IS A LIE!! SANTA CLAUS IS DEAD!! HE'S SITTING IN MY CLOSET WITH WHAT IS LEFT OF RUDOLPH!! THIS SANTA IS A FRAUD!! A FAKE!!
The Monster points at Santa Claus.
OblivSEAon: You sir are a phony. A BIG FAT PHONY!!
Oblivion yells at the crowd.
OblivSEAon: Hey everybody, that guy is a big fat phony!!
The crowd begins to boo.
The crowd: PHONY!! PHONY!! PHONY!!
OblivSEAon: This fake ass Santa is a big fat phony just like Punkin Caliban. Caliban is NOT a monster!! OblivSEAon is the monster!!
IT eats little kids and hurt your mommies. IT cooks puppies and blows up little kitties.
The kids begin to cry. Oblivion laughs while pointing at the little children.
OblivSEAon: BOO HOO!! Cry you little brats. You better hope that your puppies and kitties are at home and not in my oven!! Make kitty stew and use the heads of those stupid dogs as bowls.
Santa creeps up on Oblivion... But, The Monster turns around stomps the gut, of Santa. Then with quick second precision, Oblivion nails Santa with a Surfnap, a double underhook ddt. Jhon Sena and Tom Phelleck come running and The Dark Messiah nails both of them with superkicks.
The Monster looks down at IT's handy work, but turns quickly as IT sees the mall security. Oblivion bolts before the bumbling, stumbling security guards could catch IT.
A FEW HOURS LATER
Oblivion roars up to the parking space, at North Beach. The Corvette's engine roars out a couple of times, before the engine stops. The Monster grabs a flat leather baby head shaped coin sack, where the keys are put. IT gets out of the car. With an old container of Turtle Wax, in IT's hand.
But, it should be no surprise, there is barely any turtle wax in the container. What is in the circular container is bacon grease, in which Oblivion wipes all over IT's well sculpted body. IT's muscles glisten in the sun.
The Dark Messiah is wearing a clown faced g-string bathing suit, with a long nose. IT walks onto the hot sidewalk, not being bothered by the hot sidewalk. The sidewalk ends,as the hot sand begins. Lucky for him, Oblivion didn't forget IT's beach towel, which has a full spread of a Hustler centerfold on it.
The Monster doesn't walk far before people begin to stare. Oblivion puts down IT's towel, which gets a few glances. The Dark One IS excited to be at the beach. IT flexes IT's muscles before slowly jogging towards the Gulf of Mexico.
No lifeguard can do what The Monster Guardian of the Brocean can do. Right as Oblivion gets to the water, IT sees two voluptuous beauties in string bikinis running down the beach. It would seem as IT's clown g-string swim gear imitates Pinocchio.
Oblivion goes for a swim. After several minutes, IT gets out of the water. Oblivion decides to walk back to IT's towel, where IT grabs for the baby head coin bag.
Surprisingly no one touched the baby head coin bag. The Monster walks up to the nearby snack bar, where a few people recognized Oblivion.
Man #1: Hey!! Hey!! You're Oblivion!!
Man #2: Yea, hate to say it, you had been slipping the past couple of years.
Man #3: You DO have to admit tho, despite all that recently, things have been picking up. Joining up with Beachkrew could be the best thing for ya.
OblivSEAon: No doubt. No doubt. You all know WCF is in town. At Slam, yours truly is facing Punkin Caliban.
Man #1: Don't you mean Jordan Caliban.
OblivSEAon: No, his name is Punkin Caliban.
Man #2: No, Oblivion is right... Sorry, that's right. OblivSEAon was correct. His name now is Punkin Caliban.
OblivSEAon: IT knows we are all grown ass men here. Would you like to hear a funny story?
All of the men nod and said yes.
OblivSEAon: Well, this story is about Pumpkin Taliban, The Gourd Terrorist. On a small farm, which happens to be the best farm around. But, there are these people who used to work on this farm, would go to the Department of Agriculture.
They said lies about the farm, the farmers, and the farmhands. A former farmhand named Isaac would spread rumors about the farm on a special farming periodical. The farmer told the farmhands not worry and disregard what Isaac would say.
But, one day, when it looked all lost on the pumpkin patch... what looked like something was about to sprout and it looked promising. The roots were strong, itty bitty little leaves starts to show. But, once this promising sprouting pumpkin was making progress, it just disappeared.
But, one day it started to sprout again. Once again, looking healthy. So, the farmer planted more pumpkin seeds. Those seeds started to sprout as well. But, that new pumpkin started to kill off the other pumpkins. Terrorizing the other planted foods.
The other plants would die out, turning black, as if it looked like a bomb had been dropped on the other plants. The surrounding areas around the dead plants, become dead grounds. No other foods could be planted. But, this pumpkin was becoming a strong gourd. A healthy gourd. The only food able to prosper in the field.
The farmer was reluctantly proud of his growing pumpkin. But, the farmer was weary of this special gourd, knowing for some reason that this plant would grow strong, while other plants would die out. The farmer gave a nickname to the pumpkin... Pumpkin Taliban... The Gourd Terrorist.
Man #3: Now, don't you have an opponent for your upcoming match named Punkin Caliban? Yea, I heard he was talking some mad stupid trash at you. What do you say about that?!
OblivSEAon: Don't you wanna hear the end of the story?!
Man #1: No, not really. Good comparison. Nice parallelism between the story and Punkin Cali... Wait!! His name is Punkin?! Punkin?! That is what I call my wife. But, a grown ass man is named Punkin?! What a fruitcake!!
Man #2: A fruit booty!!
A bunch of kids walk past...
Kids: BOOTY!! BOOTY!!
Kid #1: WHOA!! That's Oblivion!! The Monster!!
Kid #2: He's nasty!! Scary!!
Oblivion whispers to the other guys...
OblivSEAon: Guys... watch this.
Now, the kids are paying no mind to anything, just talking to themselves.
OblivSEAon: Hey kids!!
All three kids turned around and within a microsec-...
OblivSEAon: BOO!!
The kids freak out loudly after Oblivion lunges out towards them, towering over them. The three boys flee in three different directions, dropping their ice cream in the process. The three men and The Monster laugh their asses off.
Man #2: Okay, my friend has his phone. Do a little promo. I think the world love to hear your response on Punkin.. <snicker> Punkin Caliban.
Man #3: Hey, what smells like bacon?!
Oblivion smells ITself.
OblivSEAon: Punkin... precious precious Punkin. Listen up boopsey. The Beachkrew is going strong!! We dominate this shit!! You just happen to be on IT's next dinner menu. You all sonsabitches joke about all the stuff OblivSEAon has done in the past.
You laughed at the fact, that The Monster has done some horrible horrific things to women, to men, children and even animals. IT has drank blood. Eaten human flesh. But, the other brain dead mouth breathers said becuz of the business we are in, it all had to be fabricated.
Seth Lerch would never get involved. The FBI has even visited his office. Nothing they have on Oblivion, can stick. Mountains of bullshit evidence and still, yours truly is standing here, laughing at the system. Now, Caliban... The Monster Guardian of the Brocean is laughing at you.
Once we step inside that ring, MY world, you basically will be nonexisting!! Just because Oblivion is a very large muscular individual, doesn't mean The Monster is just a brawler. Do your homework. Watch some film. IT can wrestle!! IT knows submission wrestling!!
Hell, you can also call Oblivion The Monster Guardian of the Sky!! The Dark One can fly as well. IT's Meatsacks know, when they watch Slam on Sunday, they will see precious widdle Punkin about to get outmatched by yours truly, The Monster OblivSEAon.
Beachkrew will know that their bright star, their diamond in the rough... Their pearl on the reef, will outmatch, outwrestle and outclass Punkin Caliban. He denies his own past, but demands more respect. Fuck that!! Kiss IT's ass, Caliban. Who ARE you?!
Why must you waste IT's time. You're gonna make OblivSEAon talk in circles. There is NOT much to say about you. The Monster doesn't have a soul. IT does have one thing that you DON'T have and that is heart!! Oblivion has more heart than you have. More than you will ever have!!
You don't agree? Then you don't read well, then. It's a God damn fact that people come looking for a fight against Oblivion. Why?! Because they know... EVERYONE KNOWS... IT gives them a fight. Like it or not... Inside WCF we have athletes.
Athletes LOVE competition!! IT gives all IT has, in competition. It has fought the best and has defeated some, of the best. OblivSEAon has won the world title, amongst a total of 14 championships. Including a record eight hardcore championships.
OBLIVION IS THE EPITOME OF HARDCORE!! HARDCORE GOD ALMIGHTY!! You're just... Punkin. Nothing else nothing more. On Sunday, the only thing you're gonna end being remembered as... just a bloodstain, shit stain, a stain on everyone's intelligence.
So, Punkin Caliban kiss your ass goodbye. Just have the simple satisfaction that you got your ass beat by a beast, who was given the name Monster for a reason. Oblivion who will be remembered as The Hardcore Icon and Punkin Caliban will be remembered as... WHO?!
Man #1: Damn!! Who ARE you fighting?
Man#2: Oblivion is wrestling... Um...
Man #3: C'mon guys get serious. Oblivion mentioned his name several times.
Man #2: So, what's his name then?
Man #3: Yes, dude. What IS his name?!
Man #1: It's... It's... DAMN!! I cannot remember his name. Screw it. After Sunday, it's not gonna matter anyways.
OblivSEAon: Hey.. Hey... we got jokes. But, Caliban all seriousness!! Oblivion is going to beat... your... motherfucking ass!! Enough said. Oblivion out.
Man #3: But, I'm not done recording.
Oblivion: Record this...
WHAM!!!
Man #3 stumbles back and falls on his ass, dropping his phone. What no one realized is that The Pet, Stitches, and Mini Oblivion were recording the whole thing...
Mini Oblivion: BITCHEEEEEESS!!
The scene slowly fades away, as the Paramedics arrive and checks on the fallen Man #3, who has a small pool of blood around his head, on the concrete.
