Post by Biggs on Feb 4, 2007 0:00:16 GMT -5
Biggs Incorporated headquarters located in the heart of Miami, Florida. The twenty story facility is where all of the business regarding "Biggs R' Us" and anything else that has to do with the "Biggs" name is taken care of. The conference room on the top floor is the setting for the current meeting regarding the future of "Biggs R' Us." JJ Biggs, "The Greatest," is sitting at the end of the table. To his left if his new Chief Executive Officer Nancy Jones and to his right is the Vice President Jake Hudson.
"The Greatest" : I'm not sure if you two have met or not. Nancy Jones, this is Jake Hudson and vice versa.
Nancy Jones: Nice to meet you, Jake.
Jake Hudson: Same to you.
"The Greatest" : Nancy Jones had an interesting idea when I spoke to her last week. She suggested expanding our product, Jake. She believes we'd make more money if we sold things that appealed to other people; not just my fans.
Jake Hudson: Interesting. However, the store is called, "Biggs R' Us." It is funded by Biggs Incorporated. It wouldn't make any sense to sell other products.
Nancy Jones: No, you don't understand what I'm saying. Everything we sell will, indeed, by "Biggs" brand material. For example, we could just purchase the right from Wrestling Championship Federation which would enable us to make action figures for everyone on the roster and sell them under Biggs' name, not WCF. So, really everything would still belong to Biggs Incorporated, and we'd have the opportunity to bring more money in.
Jake Hudson: Interesting.
"The Greatest" : She's a smart one, isn't she? She's sexy, too. Look at her ear, I just want to bite it off.
Nancy Jones: Excuse me?
"The Greatest" : Huh? Oh, I was, uh, I was just talking about Jake's mother, that's all.
Jake Hudson: My mother?
"The Greatest" : Shut the hell up before I take you out back and have you whacked.
Jake Hudson: You're going to take me out back so we can whack? You mean like have a masturbation party?
"The Greatest" : No, dumbass, I was referring to the movie, "Goodfellas."
Nancy Jones: Uhm, can we get back to business, please?
"The Greatest" : Sure, sure. By the way, have you ever seen that movie?
Nancy Jones: I can't say that I have, sorry.
"The Greatest" : Well, you should. It's one of the greatest movies ever made.
Jake Hudson: No, dude, "Debby Does Dallas" is the best movie ever made! She must use like, twenty different positions throughout that movie, man!
"The Greatest" : Ah, indeed.
Nancy Jones: Gentlemen! Could we please get down to business?
"The Greatest" : Sure, hop up onto the table and we'll get down.
Nancy Jones: You're not funny.
"The Greatest" : I'm just messing around with you, Nancy. Go ahead, tell me about some other ideas you have.
Nancy Jones: Well, first I think we should hire some new employees for the Miami location. Those two guys you have now are complete assholes.
"The Greatest" : Consider it done.
Jake Hudson: Who's going to fire them?
"The Greatest" : Eh, we'll just stop sending them their paychecks. They'll figure it out sooner or later.
Nancy Jones: Also, we should expand the store in more places than just the action figures. Groceries, for example, you only sell a select few. You sell the basics; milk, bread, and stuff like that. Maybe you could add onto the store and make it complete? You could possibly put a lot of places out of business if you started selling everything. You could have the clothes, toys, and the food. And since you sell it cheaper and at the same quality as everywhere else, you'll get all of the customers.
Jake Hudson: Do you think we're made of money, Ms. Jones? Do you think when I sit on the toilet I just shit out pieces of paper with Benjamin Franklin on it?
Nancy Jones: I'm just trying to help the company, that's all.
Jake Hudson: It's ridiculous! It's costing a fortune to run a chain of these stores already!
"The Greatest" : Calm down, Jake. Money isn't a problem. We make a massive profit from the stores, already. We could begin to add slowly, you know? Start out with the Miami location so we can observe the sells personally. If we see a huge amount of profit, we'll expand everywhere.
Jake Hudson: Whatever.
Suddenly, the doors to the conference room open quickly and a naked Jose Jose is standing in the entrance. He has a smile on his face as he runs around the long conference table. Nancy Jones, Jake Hudson, and "The Greatest" cannot believe what they are seeing. It's not everyday you see a naked Mexican running around while you're trying to have a business meeting, you know?
Jose Jose: Jose Jose!
Jake Hudson: It's not cold in here, man. What's your excuse?
Nancy Jones: That was mean, Jake.
"The Greatest" : Jose, what the hell are you doing, man? We have a woman present.
Jose Jose: Jose Jose!
Jose Jose climbs up onto the table and he starts to dance in front of them. Again, a naked Mexican dancing. Not something you see everyday.
"The Greatest" : This meeting is over. I'll see you people tomorrow.
Nancy Jones: Indeed.
Jake Hudson: Good call.
All three of them climb to their feet and they quickly leave the conference room, slamming the door behind them. Jose Jose gradually comes to a stop from the dancing and he looks over at the doors. He sniffs a couple of times before saying quietly.....
Jose Jose: Jose Jose..?
*************
"The Greatest" : Bobby Cairo. Welcome back, man. It's been awhile. Last time I saw you I was kicking your ass around in the wrestling ring, man. You had a big mouth back then, man. You let the WCF World Heavyweight Championship get to your head and you were starting to annoy everyone. So, you know, I had to put an end to that immediately. I kind of started the downfall for Bobby Cairo, didn't I? The loss to me was followed by quite a few more losses before you just realized you couldn't handle it anymore. I don't know why you're back, or why Seth Lerch thought it was a good idea to sign you back, but, if you want, I can always beat you again, man. It isn't any hair off of my chest. I love beating people like you, Cairo. You think you have it all: the talent, the money, the good-looks. But in reality, you have none of that. You're a joke. You're more of a joke then Conrad Howell. Can't get more embarrassing than that, can it?
Speaking of Mr. Howell, how are you doing, man? It's been awhile since you and I were in the same ring. Allow me to try to remember something. I think it was a few months ago, I was holding onto the WCF Tag Team Titles by myself, yes, by myself. And you know what I did? I beat both you and Chad Allen. A tag team. So, that right there should have been enough to make you retire and go home and cut yourself or whatever you do for pleasure. But, for some reason, it didn't. You disappeared for a little bit but now you're back. You're back with a vengeance, too. Suddenly, you're the contender for my WCF Television Title. That's not right. I expected to have a challenge. You know? I expected a match where I'd have to fight to keep my title. Someone needs to wake me up or something because this is just too easy!
And this week at Slam, it is just going to be a walk in the park. Lawnmower Jones is my partner. Now, he's kind of weird and all. And he's no match for "The Greatest" because let's face it, he's just ordinary. But we're facing Conrad and Cairo, two terrible wrestlers. And with Jones set on tearing Cairo's head off, I won't have to worry about him! But Conrad, I really don't have to worry about him, neither. I could beat the man with my eyes closed and my hands tied behind my back.
So, Every Dog Has Its Day, Conrad and Cairo. Is Sunday going to be yours?
*************
"The Greatest" : I'm not sure if you two have met or not. Nancy Jones, this is Jake Hudson and vice versa.
Nancy Jones: Nice to meet you, Jake.
Jake Hudson: Same to you.
"The Greatest" : Nancy Jones had an interesting idea when I spoke to her last week. She suggested expanding our product, Jake. She believes we'd make more money if we sold things that appealed to other people; not just my fans.
Jake Hudson: Interesting. However, the store is called, "Biggs R' Us." It is funded by Biggs Incorporated. It wouldn't make any sense to sell other products.
Nancy Jones: No, you don't understand what I'm saying. Everything we sell will, indeed, by "Biggs" brand material. For example, we could just purchase the right from Wrestling Championship Federation which would enable us to make action figures for everyone on the roster and sell them under Biggs' name, not WCF. So, really everything would still belong to Biggs Incorporated, and we'd have the opportunity to bring more money in.
Jake Hudson: Interesting.
"The Greatest" : She's a smart one, isn't she? She's sexy, too. Look at her ear, I just want to bite it off.
Nancy Jones: Excuse me?
"The Greatest" : Huh? Oh, I was, uh, I was just talking about Jake's mother, that's all.
Jake Hudson: My mother?
"The Greatest" : Shut the hell up before I take you out back and have you whacked.
Jake Hudson: You're going to take me out back so we can whack? You mean like have a masturbation party?
"The Greatest" : No, dumbass, I was referring to the movie, "Goodfellas."
Nancy Jones: Uhm, can we get back to business, please?
"The Greatest" : Sure, sure. By the way, have you ever seen that movie?
Nancy Jones: I can't say that I have, sorry.
"The Greatest" : Well, you should. It's one of the greatest movies ever made.
Jake Hudson: No, dude, "Debby Does Dallas" is the best movie ever made! She must use like, twenty different positions throughout that movie, man!
"The Greatest" : Ah, indeed.
Nancy Jones: Gentlemen! Could we please get down to business?
"The Greatest" : Sure, hop up onto the table and we'll get down.
Nancy Jones: You're not funny.
"The Greatest" : I'm just messing around with you, Nancy. Go ahead, tell me about some other ideas you have.
Nancy Jones: Well, first I think we should hire some new employees for the Miami location. Those two guys you have now are complete assholes.
"The Greatest" : Consider it done.
Jake Hudson: Who's going to fire them?
"The Greatest" : Eh, we'll just stop sending them their paychecks. They'll figure it out sooner or later.
Nancy Jones: Also, we should expand the store in more places than just the action figures. Groceries, for example, you only sell a select few. You sell the basics; milk, bread, and stuff like that. Maybe you could add onto the store and make it complete? You could possibly put a lot of places out of business if you started selling everything. You could have the clothes, toys, and the food. And since you sell it cheaper and at the same quality as everywhere else, you'll get all of the customers.
Jake Hudson: Do you think we're made of money, Ms. Jones? Do you think when I sit on the toilet I just shit out pieces of paper with Benjamin Franklin on it?
Nancy Jones: I'm just trying to help the company, that's all.
Jake Hudson: It's ridiculous! It's costing a fortune to run a chain of these stores already!
"The Greatest" : Calm down, Jake. Money isn't a problem. We make a massive profit from the stores, already. We could begin to add slowly, you know? Start out with the Miami location so we can observe the sells personally. If we see a huge amount of profit, we'll expand everywhere.
Jake Hudson: Whatever.
Suddenly, the doors to the conference room open quickly and a naked Jose Jose is standing in the entrance. He has a smile on his face as he runs around the long conference table. Nancy Jones, Jake Hudson, and "The Greatest" cannot believe what they are seeing. It's not everyday you see a naked Mexican running around while you're trying to have a business meeting, you know?
Jose Jose: Jose Jose!
Jake Hudson: It's not cold in here, man. What's your excuse?
Nancy Jones: That was mean, Jake.
"The Greatest" : Jose, what the hell are you doing, man? We have a woman present.
Jose Jose: Jose Jose!
Jose Jose climbs up onto the table and he starts to dance in front of them. Again, a naked Mexican dancing. Not something you see everyday.
"The Greatest" : This meeting is over. I'll see you people tomorrow.
Nancy Jones: Indeed.
Jake Hudson: Good call.
All three of them climb to their feet and they quickly leave the conference room, slamming the door behind them. Jose Jose gradually comes to a stop from the dancing and he looks over at the doors. He sniffs a couple of times before saying quietly.....
Jose Jose: Jose Jose..?
*************
BiggsTV - Aired 2/2/07
"The Greatest" : Bobby Cairo. Welcome back, man. It's been awhile. Last time I saw you I was kicking your ass around in the wrestling ring, man. You had a big mouth back then, man. You let the WCF World Heavyweight Championship get to your head and you were starting to annoy everyone. So, you know, I had to put an end to that immediately. I kind of started the downfall for Bobby Cairo, didn't I? The loss to me was followed by quite a few more losses before you just realized you couldn't handle it anymore. I don't know why you're back, or why Seth Lerch thought it was a good idea to sign you back, but, if you want, I can always beat you again, man. It isn't any hair off of my chest. I love beating people like you, Cairo. You think you have it all: the talent, the money, the good-looks. But in reality, you have none of that. You're a joke. You're more of a joke then Conrad Howell. Can't get more embarrassing than that, can it?
Speaking of Mr. Howell, how are you doing, man? It's been awhile since you and I were in the same ring. Allow me to try to remember something. I think it was a few months ago, I was holding onto the WCF Tag Team Titles by myself, yes, by myself. And you know what I did? I beat both you and Chad Allen. A tag team. So, that right there should have been enough to make you retire and go home and cut yourself or whatever you do for pleasure. But, for some reason, it didn't. You disappeared for a little bit but now you're back. You're back with a vengeance, too. Suddenly, you're the contender for my WCF Television Title. That's not right. I expected to have a challenge. You know? I expected a match where I'd have to fight to keep my title. Someone needs to wake me up or something because this is just too easy!
And this week at Slam, it is just going to be a walk in the park. Lawnmower Jones is my partner. Now, he's kind of weird and all. And he's no match for "The Greatest" because let's face it, he's just ordinary. But we're facing Conrad and Cairo, two terrible wrestlers. And with Jones set on tearing Cairo's head off, I won't have to worry about him! But Conrad, I really don't have to worry about him, neither. I could beat the man with my eyes closed and my hands tied behind my back.
So, Every Dog Has Its Day, Conrad and Cairo. Is Sunday going to be yours?
*************
