Fuck a RP. Writing A Letter Instead
Nov 13, 2015 15:05:10 GMT -5
via mobile
Doc Henry, Alex Richards, and 2 more like this
Post by Torture on Nov 13, 2015 15:05:10 GMT -5
Dear Doc Henry.
I'm writing you this letter and hoping it gets to you in time. I dont want use videocameras and technology because you are a cowboy, and cowboys don't use videocameras. Also, I might not use the right spelling because I havent wrote a letter in 15 years. I also havent typed anything up either in a long time. I guess its because I own my own multi-million dollar bussinesses now that I dont really spend time writing letters or typing out emails when I have people do that for me. Uhm, let me explain, if I was a big businessman in your timeline, I'd be the guy who owned the saloon AND the postal office. I'd probably either own the bank on the corner of town, or maybe I would be friends with the bank owner. Yeah, lets say I would be friends with the bank owner and I could get whatever I wanted. He would give me big pay days, hell! He would pay me like a winner even when I didnt show up! You might be getting my point. Its hard to explain this kind of stuff through a letter to a simple minded cowboy like yourself so I'll just assume you understand.
I heard you say some good stuff about me. I'm always down to hear when fans like yourself have compliments for me. Thanks for the $250 dollars for buying my DVDs off the WCF website. They really DICK me on the royalties but I love my fans either way. Also, in my generation we capatilize .. capitalize .. yeah thats it, we capitalize words sometimes to really drive the point home. My point is they really DICK me on royalties.
It seems you are confused in why you and I are facing each other tonight at XIII. Oh yeah, hey, how long do letters take to get somewhere? The event is tonight so I hope this makes it to you on time. If it does make it to you on time, during your entrance give me a signal. Like touch your nose a few times. I would appreciate it. Anyways, youre confused on why we're booked against each other, well heres a swerve: I am confused too. I try to stay away from these events, I'm not exactly into all the violence and blood and gore. I just think I have rights in this company and I think we should limit the creativity and not let everyone just say or do whatever they want! There should be rules, Donny! Oh. Thats a movie reference. How were movies back then? I think my grandpa told me they were in black and white and had no sound. You imagine what that would be like today? It would make so many promos in WCF better. So many guys just talk and talk and you think to yourself where is this going and why am I watching this? Thats all I'm trying to say.
As for why I dodged you all these years, its simple. Well, first of all, let me confirm your assumptions. Yes, I dodged you. Don't tell anyone, keep this between us, but I just didnt want to fight you. I'm not scared of you, no, I'm only scared of one guy in WCF and thats Odin Balfore. Like for real, he scares me. For example if Seth announced at One that I had to fight Odin Balfore I would cry and probably quit. Not like Omega quit though, where he just disappears and thats that, no I would make a big scene in the lockerroom and then tell Seth that I quit and WCF will probably suffer because of it. Not exactly sure if that would be true, but I like to think that way. I like to think if I quit others would too. But anyways.
I dodged you because I truly felt like WCF always needed a cowboy. A true cowboy too. Not like your friend Johnny Reb. He wasnt a real cowboy. He seemed kind of fake. You know like if a girl played a boy character in a tv show, thats not really real you know? I always got the vibe from Reb that he wasnt a true cowboy. But Doc, youre a true cowboy. You're as real as it gets. Legitness. (Thats also a reference too!) I always felt if I beat you Doc, you would lose all credibility and people would think you're a joke. So you like to live off the land, befriending horses, planting seeds, and doing cowboy things. Things like people watching at the saloon, and taking shots with the hookers up stairs. Theres no joke about that kind of life style! But people may think youre a joke if I beat you and beat you and beat you and beat you. I just didnt want to do that. I already beat your friend Reb for months. Remember that? It was for the WCF World Title too! It was heart breaking but you're a cowboy and cowboys dont cry right? (Seriously look into the Reb situation. I'm tellin' something is fishy about him, I dont think he is who he says he is. Seems off.)
You said some pretty mean stuff about my friends, Doc. I guess I'm just not use to communicating to a cowboy but you hurt my feelings talking about my friends. Tank, Daniels and Avery are nice guys and they were pretty good wrestlers! They could have done a lot better but they just didn't try hard enough. They didn't really have to though, because Ive won so much so I just shared the wealth. I guess in cowboy terms, I would be like the bank robbers who had a small posse of outlaws and I was the best at bank robbing so I would also get the most coins but because I'm the leader I always share a little of my coins to my outlaw posse crew. That make sense? Also how was coins? Did you have more durable pants back then? I'm asking because if you always carried heavy coins in your pockets and knives and guns and stuff you would need pants that dont rip. That reminds me, I should look into making more durable pants with my billion dollar clothing line company. Hey! After I beat you tonight, you'll probably be back to retired right? Want to be the face of my new cowboy durable pants? Think of the commercial branding, Doc. "Cowboy durable pants! It fits Doc's cock! It can fit you!" I'm just kidding, that cant play on TV, but you get my drift.. I hope. My point was you made fun of my friends and I think as a true cowboy like yourself you would think its only fair that I get to make fun of your friends now.
Hmm, let me think. Okay.
First your horse is stupid looking. Whats the name of your horse? Tex? Yeah, I bet its Tex, and the horse is blind and stupid and he chokes on grains and oats. Yeah! I'm not exactly trying to make you cry, Doc, but fair is fair. I feel like after the very harsh words from me that we can continue sharing a locker room and the vulgar trash talk about our friends stops here.
Its also a good time to tell you that I will be entering this match alone. Price insisted that I do this on my own because he'll be doing his thing on his own. See? Fair is fair, Doc and I'm a fair man. You dont have to worry about my friends in tonights match because I'll be doing this on my own.
Also, watch your mouth when talking about my other friend Jay Price. He gets a lot of flack but hes actually a nice guy. We have a lot in common; We're winners, Champions and we both hate Logan in some way or fashion. This is a friendship that is finally blossoming and I'll be damned if I let a cowboy talk shit about it. Youre just someone on the outside and you dont really know how our friendship works, so just keep those NASTY (See? Driving my point home..) comments to yourself!
You mentioned I was grasping at straws to stay relevant. Well, thats news to me Doc! I single-handedly beat Mayhem and some of Omegas family members! This is no easy task you son of a bitch! You think these kind of matches are just handed to midcarders? No! This is the stuff that true legendary main eventers fight for and deserve. Marquee match ups as they say, Doc, and youre finally in one! You said your a cunt hair (Ew. Gross bro.) away from greatness, but I think your like 200 years from that. I'm also not at the end of my career, I'm in my prime! I'm the World Heavyweight Hardcore Champion of the World, Doc. I'm like all the cowboys in the world combined and then one better than that!
You gave me sound advice though, Doc. You said I was better off not showing. That is actually true, because in most cases I win even when I don't show up. Or I should say I don't lose. You feel me though.
Now that I'm done with that crap, I have some questions. When you go to parks that recreated old western settings is it really like that or are they way off? Did you guys always drink whiskey or scotch? That stuff burns my throat, I would be a terrible cowboy. Oh, did you ever kill a snake? That would be so cool if you did. I bet you did, yeah you probably did cause you're a cowboy, and that snake was tresspasin' on the propertay huh? Thats me writing out a cowboy dialect. I hope it translates well. Hey, do you think you can help me buy cowboy boots and some Wranglers? I'm going to a theme party on Saturday, and all this cowboy talk has me decided on a costume. Oh, well, you can help me tonight during our match. When we tie up just tell me what kind of boots you think would fit me well.
See you tonight, Doc! Have fun out there cowboy.
Stay meta bru
Torture
P.S. Oh what are your thoughts on Rascal Flats? I know they tried blending old western story telling with updated acoustics and a pop sound, but I figured I would ask a true country guy.
P.S.S. How many stamps do I put on the envelope? I'll just put 2 on there to be safe.
P.S.S. Where do I buy stamps? Ahh, forget it, I'll google search a Safeway. I bet one is close to the Arena! See ya Doc!
P.S.S.S. Oh, don't mind the drawing of a stick figure Torture jumping over a shark. Its a reference you probably wouldn't understand. Just, yeah, ignore it.
I'm writing you this letter and hoping it gets to you in time. I dont want use videocameras and technology because you are a cowboy, and cowboys don't use videocameras. Also, I might not use the right spelling because I havent wrote a letter in 15 years. I also havent typed anything up either in a long time. I guess its because I own my own multi-million dollar bussinesses now that I dont really spend time writing letters or typing out emails when I have people do that for me. Uhm, let me explain, if I was a big businessman in your timeline, I'd be the guy who owned the saloon AND the postal office. I'd probably either own the bank on the corner of town, or maybe I would be friends with the bank owner. Yeah, lets say I would be friends with the bank owner and I could get whatever I wanted. He would give me big pay days, hell! He would pay me like a winner even when I didnt show up! You might be getting my point. Its hard to explain this kind of stuff through a letter to a simple minded cowboy like yourself so I'll just assume you understand.
I heard you say some good stuff about me. I'm always down to hear when fans like yourself have compliments for me. Thanks for the $250 dollars for buying my DVDs off the WCF website. They really DICK me on the royalties but I love my fans either way. Also, in my generation we capatilize .. capitalize .. yeah thats it, we capitalize words sometimes to really drive the point home. My point is they really DICK me on royalties.
It seems you are confused in why you and I are facing each other tonight at XIII. Oh yeah, hey, how long do letters take to get somewhere? The event is tonight so I hope this makes it to you on time. If it does make it to you on time, during your entrance give me a signal. Like touch your nose a few times. I would appreciate it. Anyways, youre confused on why we're booked against each other, well heres a swerve: I am confused too. I try to stay away from these events, I'm not exactly into all the violence and blood and gore. I just think I have rights in this company and I think we should limit the creativity and not let everyone just say or do whatever they want! There should be rules, Donny! Oh. Thats a movie reference. How were movies back then? I think my grandpa told me they were in black and white and had no sound. You imagine what that would be like today? It would make so many promos in WCF better. So many guys just talk and talk and you think to yourself where is this going and why am I watching this? Thats all I'm trying to say.
As for why I dodged you all these years, its simple. Well, first of all, let me confirm your assumptions. Yes, I dodged you. Don't tell anyone, keep this between us, but I just didnt want to fight you. I'm not scared of you, no, I'm only scared of one guy in WCF and thats Odin Balfore. Like for real, he scares me. For example if Seth announced at One that I had to fight Odin Balfore I would cry and probably quit. Not like Omega quit though, where he just disappears and thats that, no I would make a big scene in the lockerroom and then tell Seth that I quit and WCF will probably suffer because of it. Not exactly sure if that would be true, but I like to think that way. I like to think if I quit others would too. But anyways.
I dodged you because I truly felt like WCF always needed a cowboy. A true cowboy too. Not like your friend Johnny Reb. He wasnt a real cowboy. He seemed kind of fake. You know like if a girl played a boy character in a tv show, thats not really real you know? I always got the vibe from Reb that he wasnt a true cowboy. But Doc, youre a true cowboy. You're as real as it gets. Legitness. (Thats also a reference too!) I always felt if I beat you Doc, you would lose all credibility and people would think you're a joke. So you like to live off the land, befriending horses, planting seeds, and doing cowboy things. Things like people watching at the saloon, and taking shots with the hookers up stairs. Theres no joke about that kind of life style! But people may think youre a joke if I beat you and beat you and beat you and beat you. I just didnt want to do that. I already beat your friend Reb for months. Remember that? It was for the WCF World Title too! It was heart breaking but you're a cowboy and cowboys dont cry right? (Seriously look into the Reb situation. I'm tellin' something is fishy about him, I dont think he is who he says he is. Seems off.)
You said some pretty mean stuff about my friends, Doc. I guess I'm just not use to communicating to a cowboy but you hurt my feelings talking about my friends. Tank, Daniels and Avery are nice guys and they were pretty good wrestlers! They could have done a lot better but they just didn't try hard enough. They didn't really have to though, because Ive won so much so I just shared the wealth. I guess in cowboy terms, I would be like the bank robbers who had a small posse of outlaws and I was the best at bank robbing so I would also get the most coins but because I'm the leader I always share a little of my coins to my outlaw posse crew. That make sense? Also how was coins? Did you have more durable pants back then? I'm asking because if you always carried heavy coins in your pockets and knives and guns and stuff you would need pants that dont rip. That reminds me, I should look into making more durable pants with my billion dollar clothing line company. Hey! After I beat you tonight, you'll probably be back to retired right? Want to be the face of my new cowboy durable pants? Think of the commercial branding, Doc. "Cowboy durable pants! It fits Doc's cock! It can fit you!" I'm just kidding, that cant play on TV, but you get my drift.. I hope. My point was you made fun of my friends and I think as a true cowboy like yourself you would think its only fair that I get to make fun of your friends now.
Hmm, let me think. Okay.
First your horse is stupid looking. Whats the name of your horse? Tex? Yeah, I bet its Tex, and the horse is blind and stupid and he chokes on grains and oats. Yeah! I'm not exactly trying to make you cry, Doc, but fair is fair. I feel like after the very harsh words from me that we can continue sharing a locker room and the vulgar trash talk about our friends stops here.
Its also a good time to tell you that I will be entering this match alone. Price insisted that I do this on my own because he'll be doing his thing on his own. See? Fair is fair, Doc and I'm a fair man. You dont have to worry about my friends in tonights match because I'll be doing this on my own.
Also, watch your mouth when talking about my other friend Jay Price. He gets a lot of flack but hes actually a nice guy. We have a lot in common; We're winners, Champions and we both hate Logan in some way or fashion. This is a friendship that is finally blossoming and I'll be damned if I let a cowboy talk shit about it. Youre just someone on the outside and you dont really know how our friendship works, so just keep those NASTY (See? Driving my point home..) comments to yourself!
You mentioned I was grasping at straws to stay relevant. Well, thats news to me Doc! I single-handedly beat Mayhem and some of Omegas family members! This is no easy task you son of a bitch! You think these kind of matches are just handed to midcarders? No! This is the stuff that true legendary main eventers fight for and deserve. Marquee match ups as they say, Doc, and youre finally in one! You said your a cunt hair (Ew. Gross bro.) away from greatness, but I think your like 200 years from that. I'm also not at the end of my career, I'm in my prime! I'm the World Heavyweight Hardcore Champion of the World, Doc. I'm like all the cowboys in the world combined and then one better than that!
You gave me sound advice though, Doc. You said I was better off not showing. That is actually true, because in most cases I win even when I don't show up. Or I should say I don't lose. You feel me though.
Now that I'm done with that crap, I have some questions. When you go to parks that recreated old western settings is it really like that or are they way off? Did you guys always drink whiskey or scotch? That stuff burns my throat, I would be a terrible cowboy. Oh, did you ever kill a snake? That would be so cool if you did. I bet you did, yeah you probably did cause you're a cowboy, and that snake was tresspasin' on the propertay huh? Thats me writing out a cowboy dialect. I hope it translates well. Hey, do you think you can help me buy cowboy boots and some Wranglers? I'm going to a theme party on Saturday, and all this cowboy talk has me decided on a costume. Oh, well, you can help me tonight during our match. When we tie up just tell me what kind of boots you think would fit me well.
See you tonight, Doc! Have fun out there cowboy.
Stay meta bru
Torture
P.S. Oh what are your thoughts on Rascal Flats? I know they tried blending old western story telling with updated acoustics and a pop sound, but I figured I would ask a true country guy.
P.S.S. How many stamps do I put on the envelope? I'll just put 2 on there to be safe.
P.S.S. Where do I buy stamps? Ahh, forget it, I'll google search a Safeway. I bet one is close to the Arena! See ya Doc!
P.S.S.S. Oh, don't mind the drawing of a stick figure Torture jumping over a shark. Its a reference you probably wouldn't understand. Just, yeah, ignore it.
