|
|
Post by Doc Henry on Oct 11, 2015 14:32:03 GMT -5
Ok, fuckers, this one has my attempt a Shoot. Never been one good at it, so tear away!!!
|
|
|
|
Post by Alex Richards on Oct 12, 2015 9:52:48 GMT -5
I liked it. I thought it was a good roleplay. You obviously put a lot of effort into it. If I had a suggestion it would be to get nastier during your shoot.
|
|
Kyle
Mid-Carder
Posts: 967
|
Post by Kyle on Oct 12, 2015 9:52:20 GMT -5
Let's see . . . it seems you're running a very Karate Kid-esque storyline with Doc. Its a little cliche, I must admit, but also humorous at the same time, like a more R-Rated version of the movie with drugs and women. Master Ryushi comes off a little stereotypical at times, but that's probably just the theme of Shaolin/Buddhist Monks in the modern culture. I did chuckle especially long at this line: "What you doing, get in the shower." Made me think Ryushi has a little perverted side to him. And I know that was not your intent with that line, obviously, but a little misinterpretation in a storyline that has yet to delve into dark themes yet is fine in my book; keeps the readers interested, in a weird way.
Glad to see the shoot this week. I think it was a solid effort, though some of the content didn't completely sit with me. Your comments with Jay Price were strange to me: for example, the phrases "fat slack ass" and "Alex, you want to prove yourself to be such a badass, then convince your teammates to put the Trios Titles on the line and get in the Ring with 'Mister Every Title'. He hasn't held those, hell I bet he could take your from you.", so to me, I cannot gauge just how Doc Henry feels about Jay Price. Moreso, in the shoot, I'd encourage more focus on the opponents instead of characters your guy may have beef with; that's what CD is for.
My advice going forward in regards to the shoot is a greater emphasis on recent happenings with the character. We see a lot of the "Richards is crazy, Purse is OCD, Omega got lucky" but not a lot of references to recent weeks save for Trios and War. Tell me more about how they struggled in those matches and even before then, make me believe Doc has been following the WCF before his arrival. By doing so, you'll in turn discover more specific things you can dissect in regards to the character and make for a stronger shoot.
With all that said, it was an enjoyable read. I think you're cutting yourself short in terms of your shooting ability. You have the capability, bud, just need to fine tune it a little in my eyes. Looking forward to the future adventures of Doc Henry and the perverted Master Ryushi.
|
|
|
|
Post by Doc Henry on Oct 12, 2015 10:11:29 GMT -5
lol, o guess I never saw the karate kid thing... Tried to make him more of a master Roshi thing from dragon ball/dbz
|
|
|
|
Post by Gemini Battle on Oct 12, 2015 12:39:11 GMT -5
lol, o guess I never saw the karate kid thing... Tried to make him more of a master Roshi thing from dragon ball/dbz That's what I'm getting from the character... Including the sometimes accidental pervertedness lol |
|
|
|
Post by Doc Henry on Oct 12, 2015 22:31:07 GMT -5
I feel like I'm still 'feeling out' just how to do it as a face, even a bit roguish, cause I can't just say fuck all, like I did as a heel...
|
|
|
|
Post by Doc Henry on Oct 18, 2015 13:24:17 GMT -5
Procrastination got the better of me this week, I didn't get started until this morning, so sorry to Gemini, and that it isn't what I was hoping for. Still I like it and was wanting some thoughts...
|
|
|
|
Post by Doc Henry on Nov 13, 2015 12:06:50 GMT -5
I'm almost afraid to ask, but I will anyway. Hit me, let me know what y'all think of my little ol' XIII RP...
|
|
|
|
Post by Bonnie Blue on Nov 13, 2015 16:43:12 GMT -5
I'm almost afraid to ask, but I will anyway. Hit me, let me know what y'all think of my little ol' XIII RP... Easily one of your best. Decent shoot, IMO. Maybe could have been a little longer... |
|
|
|
Post by Doc Henry on Nov 22, 2015 16:16:17 GMT -5
Gah, writers block hit me like I was Whitney and it was Bobby... Threw this mess together today, hope y'all like it...
|
|
|
|
Post by Doc Henry on Nov 25, 2015 0:50:55 GMT -5
Well, fuck...
|
|
|
|
Post by Doc Henry on Nov 29, 2015 17:14:30 GMT -5
Ok, so I'm not sure how well I did, tried to go pissed off Doc, but I'm afraid it felt a little heelish.... He is a rogue face though.... Thoughts!  ? |
|
