Spencer Adams Vs. The World: Conclusion (WAR Pt. 2)

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Spencer Adams vs. The World (part 2) 

The shot opens up in Spencer’s WAR room where he is joined once again by his stepdad Petrov.

Spencer: You're not my stepfather.

Petrov: Fuck you, little buddy! You will not respond to the lines of description! Fucking ass of fourth wall is Petrov job!

We see the names on the notebook are now converted to a chart. Spencer paces back and forth a bit as Petrov stands to the side of it, arms crossed in front of him.

Spencer: In less than one week, over forty soldiers will compete in a WAR match that is truly every man for him or herself. All friendships and alliances will be not only tested, but completely forgotten about during the duration of the match. In a federation that is seen as having two top level competitors, this match will create at least one huge star and grant a huge opportunity to the victor, the honor of main eventing One and challenging for the biggest prize in the entire company. This is a week that will show who belongs where and who gets the brightest futures. Some will do quite well and likely receive title shots and big matches and others will be pinned before they even get the chance to make a real showing.

So people can say whatever they want. Point out the number of wins and losses I have here, maybe make a couple jokes about my mom, or say something about my time in the DRG. Go ahead and talk all the shit that you’d like about little Spencer Adams, whatever you have to do to convince yourself that I’m not an impact player in this match. When you saw the announcement of who was in this you all probably went to the list and looked for the big names. There’s no denying that Spencer Adams is a big name in this match. I don’t have major alliances, a lack of experience, or a lack of ability to hold me back. To each and every person in the back that sees this little promo, I am the threat. I am coming to challenge, to shake you to your core, to make you sweat. If you don’t know so already or choose not to believe it, you will understand exactly what I mean as more and more people are eliminated and I’m left standing. Adam Young, #BeachKrew, DRG, Pantheon, Sanchez, and everyone else in this thing will feel it the minute that bell rings. Spencer Adams is the scariest one man army that you will have to go against and you’ll know that as you look on from the outside with your eyes wide and your hands empty.

Petrov points to a couple of names on the chart.

Spencer: Oh yes, Tyler Walker and Biohazard. I remember the time I jobber squashed these two in a tag match. It was basically a giant handicap clusterfuck too and what happened? They lost and I won. Expect more of the same because neither of you are capable of anything more than giving the rub to newcomers or beating Logan which is pretty pathetic to say the least. You’re nothing more than bodies in this match, a couple of braindead morons just waiting to be dropped and pinned as soon as you dance your way down the entrance ramp. As a team you are laughable and as singles competitors you are the definition of an afterthought, barely a footnote on one’s quest to achieve greatness. Even with a combined effort, you would struggle to beat the likes of Adam Young on his worst night. So while you’re busy being misogynistic spacemen under the illusion that a universe exists where either of you could possibly be the world champion, I’ll be pinning you both in the real world.

As soon as you two are done spitting toxic ooze into each other’s assholes, I want you to take a good look at some of the people in this match and then go ahead and look at yourselves. You’re worse in every way possible. A motherfucker like Ultimate Destroyer has the ability to squash you and that alone should fill you with suicidal thoughts. Wishing death on somebody isn’t normally how I roll, but my fingers are crossed that you pull a trigger or drown yourselves in the bath tub at the Days Inn that you’re staying at as a result of the company not carrying enough about you to pay for your room this weekend. Biohazard, I’ll be slapping the taste of Tyler Walker’s seed straight out of your mouth while your life partner dry rubs his cocktail to the framed eight by ten of you that he keeps on his nightstand.

Then we have Derek Moreno who I don’t exactly have the same dislike for as I do people like Biohazard or Tyler Walker, but I must say I’m not a fan of for the simple fact of what he did when things got tough for him. In a lot of ways, Derek is a big factor in making #BeachKrew the problem that they are today. It is as a direct result of you coming up short against Los Tiburones that we now have a douchebag sociopath holding a redesigned TV championship that he could give a fuck less about. Sure he had to get through Teo too, but you were the one who let him dominate your ass in the ring. It was from the match against you that he got a shot at the title in the first place. I get that you can’t win them all, but your match against Tiburones was a must win and you couldn’t get the job done. It was a must win for the federation, yourself, and your tag team partner..and you fell short. Since then you’ve done nothing.

I wouldn’t have known you were going to be in the WAR match if your name wasn’t listed on the front page of the website. Someone who came in and looked dominant from the start has become nothing. What kind of shit is that? Are you trying to tell me that Mitch went down to injury and you just gave up? The lack of real effort you’ve put forth in your career after that match makes me think that you don’t believe in yourself as a singles wrestler. Mitch got hurt and you should be the one out there kicking ass for him right now, but instead of putting on your big boy pants, you’ve looked like a joke out there. You in no way have bounced back from the loss to Tiburones. If you think you can come in and just exist, I’ll take you out just like every other like minded sad sack on the roster.

Then we have Clan MacNeill who just like Mejor Redemption, came in with a lot of promise and simply did not live up to it for very long. At least Mejor Redemption can say that they looked good the first couple weeks that they teamed together. The MacNeill’s took a loss in their tag debut against fucking Dustin Beaver and Riddlebox. How could you give Dustin Beaver a win in his career? You should be fucking ashamed that you gave one up to the most hated motherfucker in the locker room. I’ve been saying it this entire time, unions don’t matter this week and Cormack will realize that as soon as Conall shows that same weakness that has been holding the team back since they entered.

What happened to you Cormack? You were a respected member of the roster and then you decided to return and bring a weak link along with you. I may not have been here during your original run, but I saw the talent and ability that you had as did everybody else I’m sure. You’ve got to realize by now that this whole tag team thing will not provide you with the kind of long term success that you could have on your own. That’s only going to continue to hold you back as long as you let it. Conall is dead weight for you and I’m eliminating him just like I’m going to eliminate you while you’re busy thinking about how much different the end result could be if you showed up and put the proper effort forward as an individual. I guess that Vic Venable is going to have a little bit of competition when it comes to who will be eliminating the most people and breaking that record, because the record breaker is standing right here and Clan MacNeill will be only a couple of those that I give a loss to.

Speaking of Vic, the man’s not really a bad guy and I’d say when it comes to in ring battles, we have a similar fire to us. I think you’re one of the guys in this match who really gets what it’s all about. The way Vic addresses this is not much different than how I would. Addressing Vic isn’t quite as easy as “Hey Vic, you a bitch for real!” There’s a bit more to the strategy that I keep up in the good ol’ cranium. I have to be more precise with how I execute offense against the guy since I do believe that are very similar with that type of underdog aggression that we bring to the table.

You wanna talk about setting the record for the most amount of eliminations, but I don’t know if you realize that the antidote is one of the biggest threats to that little goal of yours. To some of the others in this match you might be looked at as someone who might do well, but not be the kind of wild card that could steal the whole thing. I know how good you are and I know how well you are going to do, that’s why I’m one of the few to prioritize you onto the short list, the handful of individuals that stand in between me and a world title shot. I know that Vic Venable is capable of a large scale upset and that’s why I’ll be making a point of pulling the upset on you.

The bottom line here is that I know I will execute just a tad bit better than Mr. Venable. While we both know that you have to build up a certain degree of temporary hatred for one another, mine will just be a bit stronger. You see, no matter what Vic has gone through over the course of his life, I’ve gone through worse. I’ve seen much tougher trials that have forced me into being a man since I was just a little boy. Do not mistake my sometimes comical demeanor for anything less than a mechanism that eases the pain of a tortured boy. Whether you’re good or bad, if you’re across the ring from Spencer Adams, I’m going full on Bobby Boucher on your ass. You will transform to resemble John Adams and I will stand triumphantly over the beaten bodies of you and everyone else.

Petrov: Petrov is number one underdog! Fuck both of you!

Spencer: Yeah...okay man...you’ll do great. In fact, I heard they just did the lottery for positioning and that you got entry number seventy-one.

Petrov: Is good?

Spencer: Yeah man.

Petrov: Petrov will win and then play catch with stepson, yes?

Spencer: We’re grown men. The idea of calling you stepdad is ridiculous and you know it.

Petrov: You will learn to accept Petrov as your father.

Spencer: You and my mom aren’t even married.

Petrov: Is stepdad not man who fucks other man’s mom in pussy?

Spencer: You aren’t gonna lay off this shit, are you?

Petrov: Is not likely, no.

Spencer: Well, speaking of these wildcard guys, there are more of them then just Vic. There are a handful of us that all follow that sort of lone wolf strategy for this situation and I don’t think anybody embodies the solo mentality quite like Jackson White. We both left DRG for similar reasons and we both fight to bring justice to the wrong that has been done to us in our personal lives. One of the biggest differences with our mindsets is that while you fight to avenge your fallen father, I’m actually just wishing that mine would get shot and I know that it would be glorious and that he will have earned that bullet through the brain.

You aren’t ready for this kind of situation. Your head is all filled with questions as you so desperately seek for the answers that you think will bring you peace of mind while my hurt is no mystery to me. You can’t juggle both of these things at once. It’s either WAR or continuing to spend your days as a sleep deprived, justice junky. I promise that as one of my many enemies in this match, what I do to you will be nothing short of criminal. Outside of all of this WAR hype, I wish the best for you in your search to discover the truth, but Sunday will be a very different Spencer Adams. I will be the man to shoot you down just like that thug did to your daddy. I will be the sort of suffering that will squeeze the fight out of you, the one who will get rid of that competitive pulse. I’ll be the one who will transform WAR into the cremation of Jackson White and I promise that the fenix will fail to rise from the ashes this time.

Our next wildcard for the match is Legion, the man who has been throwing around a woman on what seems to be a personal level. I’m no Thomas Bates with that shit, but I do hold the belief that there is a certain way to treat a lady. Legion, while you’re a serious competitor in the match, you’re also a stupid fucking brute who has spent the better part of the past month feuding with the wannabe PETA. There’s still a fair amount of mystery surrounding you, but not to the point that I don’t have you scouted out. You don’t have the proper amount of experience against people who are truly committed.

I want everyone to think long and hard about the idea of Legion winning WAR and going on to main event the biggest pay per view there is. Does anybody really want to see Legion in that position? Yeah..I didn’t think so. Why would anyone wanna see such a boring motherfucker headline such an event? There’s just not much that’s interesting about you and I think that’s why you walk around like the neanderthal that you are. Legion is like someone took my boy Petrov and stripped him of all entertainment value and now all that’s left is another moron destined for a career of feeding off the lower card to try to create the illusion of being an actual challenge.

They say that pigs eat basically anything and I don’t see you as much different. You’re destined to eat whatever shit is thrown at you and in this match, I see you rolling around in the mud with the other peons. I’m not saying that you’re a stranger to working to achieve, but that you’re just too damn stupid to actually hit the big goals. WCF has always been a weird mix of people from all sorts of different backgrounds and the diversity is great and all, but some people just aren’t meant to do this and are set up for failure from the very beginning. I want to see people who hold a deep respect and understanding of the people around them, and that’s not what you are, Mr. Grumpypants. I don’t think that you view this as a dream and that’s where you will fall short in a match where one must be fueled by the desire to be great, to be a legend. You’re little more than a dumb redneck who walks around beating up pork activists and certainly not an elite level wrestler. I’ll be that elite level ring worker that sends you huffing and puffing all the way back to Mississippi.

Onto the biggest return announced for the match so far, Occulo. I’m not here to shit on the guy like I am with many others. I was one of those fans watching in horror as Howard Black was injured, I mark out for Dune in world title matches, and was a little bummed out to see you leave so yeah, I’m actually excited to see you back in action. If you ask me, Sentinels are pretty cool. So while I won’t be talking the level trash I am with some of the others, I must point out to you exactly what’s at stake. With the winner of the match getting a shot at a world title you have a good chance at getting either a match against Dune where the two of you will have a dream match, a true display of respect and world class level wrestler...or...you could end up in a match against Joey Flash. Just like Dune, you would get your shot at shutting up that douchebag once and for all. Doesn’t that sound great to you? Here’s the issue, bud. There will be more people in the match than ever before. The chances that you will be winning it are slim. I would say that I am justified in saying that you’re probably going to feel a bit of ring rust when you first step out and that there are others in the match who are either on a roll or ready to upset those who are.

I think you’ve got a lot more that you will have to deal with too. WAR isn’t the only thing that you will have to worry about. Everyone knows that you’re returning by now and that would include Joey Flash. If you haven’t noticed by now, Joey Flash is a cunt and he would love nothing more than to really, really hurt you to the point that you may never be able to return again. Shit, he could do that before his own match even starts. They could have the camera crew zooming in on your limo and BAM, sneak attack courtesy of Joey Flash. I wouldn’t approve of such a thing and I am thrilled to get to go against you, but you do have other problems lurking, waiting for you when you’re most vulnerable.

So the vision for you will be no different than anyone else’s. I don’t care how many times I have to tell each and every person in this match that it’s my fucking night. The bottom line is that there is no vision that will show you to victory this Sunday. Dune and Howard Black will NOT be available to help you win and I’m sure as a talent in your own right, you’re okay with that, but all the confidence in the world won’t be enough to get you through to the final bell. I fucking own that shit this time! Spencer Adams has been the one on the grind these past months and Spencer Adams is the one that will crush your dreams of getting a world title match from all of this.

Petrov: They not put Petrov in WAR. Why would Petrov not be? Petrov is total badass and stepfather of former champion. They put in pussy fuck like ZMAC but not Petrov. Is not good move.

Spencer: You know, you bring up a good point. Zombie McMorris does not deserve to win WAR and in fact, he barely deserves to be in the match. What happened when I feuded with Zombie McMorris? Well let’s see..he resorted to cheap bullshit the first time and then he got himself disqualified and threw away the second one. A real champion wouldn’t do that. Bottom line. I don’t care what witty line or nonsense he has to say about how great he is or how he’s the champion of every division because he is some sort of wall that people have to get past and blah blah blah. He had a shot against me and disrespected not only myself, but also the people and the championship that means so much to so many.

Now look at what he did when he was first put into internet contention. He’s doing extremely well on the boards now, but what about that first match? What about the start of all the trash talk on the boards at that time? ZMAC didn’t resemble a champion in any way, shape, or form. He jumped on only to whine like a little bitch about how his opportunity didn’t come when he wanted it to, that he was passed up in favor of somebody else. Eventually, he jumped on and decided to take care of business like one should, but that was only after the salt had run it’s course through the bloodstream already.

The biggest problem with Zombie McMorris is an inability to just shut his fucking mouth and put forth the kind of effort that one would see from a top dog. ZMAC wants to claim that he’s one of the best, but just bitches about how shit isn’t fair or idea for him. Either the timing isn’t right or the competition isn’t up to par. I lost plenty of matches against plenty of great competitors and guess what? I didn’t go on to bitch about how I deserved a title shot for losing a bunch of matches like you did. You became irrelevant and you shouldn’t have been blaming anyone other than yourself for it. You were the one that held yourself back by not winning significant matches.

You’re back in that internet division again, a division that you’re very familiar with and you’re going for a belt that you’ve held a few times before. I know that it only adds to how fucking salty you are to know that the division isn’t actually yours. You can walk around acting like the internet division is something that Zombie McMorris has on lockdown, but that’s a fucking lie and you know it. You realize that while you were away from that division, a new goliath stepped up and claimed it as his and that goliath is Alex Richards. That championship became something that he made huge. It went together like peanut butter and jelly and you knew that the second you stepped back into that shit. It won’t be long before Richards decides to return and you know that he’s going to show you that your shit is weak sauce.

Not only will you be made to look like a fucking chump in the internet division, but you’ll be made to look like shit in the WAR match too, probably worse actually. When I look at that entry page for all the motherfuckers that are entering, I see a list of guys that I am looking to beat for the first time. When you look at it, there’s no way that you can see anything other than a giant list of people that have either beaten you or are more important than you are at this point. There’s one name in particular on there that you just couldn’t quite get past and that’s me. The only way you got anything resembling a victory over me was with rapist tactics like the cheap bastard that you are. The second time was when it really mattered. I took the fight to you in our people’s title match before you resorted to cheap shit. Did it make you look good? No, not at all. All that did was make you look like a fucking coward who can feel his career fading and the mojo slipping right between his fingers.

I think that through all the immortal stuff and drugs and other madness that you’re actually scared. I think that you realize that you aren’t living up to the level that you try to tell us all you’re at. We’ve faced each other three times and every time I was right up in your face, proving to you that I could hang with an established veteran. I know you don’t respect me and that’s fine, but you WILL understand that the antidote has your number, that the antidote has the ability to not just hold his own against you, but also the ability to beat you. Have fun jobbing to #BeachKrew’s second favorite psycho and eating that pin against Spencer Adams in WAR. You can only evade me for so long, ZMAC. It’s time that I make my fucking statement in the case of McMorris versus Adams.

Petrov: What about this Teo? What is deal with mask man?

Spencer: Teo’s a good guy. There are a few guys that I talk about having respect for and Teo Del Sol is actually one of my good friends. I don’t really see him as someone that I could sit here and talk mad shit about because that’s my bud, you know? Still, what I said about WAR remains true. Teo is normally somebody that I consider my friend, but not during this outing. I hope he knows that too. Do I expect to read a bunch of trash talk from Teo? No, that’s not his style. In a way, I kind of see Teo Del Sol as sort of a Bernie Sanders type with how he strives to get things done.

I’m just a little bit different than that, man. Teo Del Sol can be as friendly and respectful as he wants during your average week, but this isn’t your average week. I wish Teo the best of luck against Tiburones, but I will not hesitate to take you out. My competitive spirit will outshine his because I’m capable of a mean streak and he isn’t. I consider myself to be a good person generally but this is when that all gets thrown out the window. I’m going to attack your weaknesses in the ring, Teo. I’ll go after you immediately because I know that you won’t be fresh following your match with Tiburones. That’s not how I’d like it to be, but I’m not an idiot. There’s no way that I’m looking past the advantage that the booking has created for me to use against you.

I will make you work harder than any other opponent has before me and will make you question your every decision. You will feel as though I’m attacking the insecurities that you cover up with that mask. While there is a lot of pride that comes with lucha libre, a lot of respect to it, there’s also a pattern that I see. When all that passion and all that heart that a guy like you puts into their work fails to pay off like they hope it would, they have a moment of weakness. I will see that trait come out in you when we face off. You can hit Spencer Adams with a half dozen habanero high dives, but will learn all about how resilient I am when I just keep kicking out after every one of them. For a moment, you will become discouraged and that is when I will really take advantage. I’m going to show you how important that level of resilience is. I will be the one that creates that opening, that real weakness in Teo Del Sol.

Petrov: This David Sanchez. Where is this fuck from? Petrov does not understand. Some people say Mexico while others say Brazil or some shit like that. What is deal with this man? Petrov is basically retired legend at this point who is not very familiar with everyone on roster.

Spencer: David Sanchez is one of the guys to really keep an eye on. Many people would say that he’s a threat to win it all and I know that they’re right. I’ve been in the ring with him and if there is one thing that he has to his advantage above the others it is ring smarts. He knows how to move, where to attack, and when to strike. He requires your full attention just to be able to hang with him..but I’ve done that. I’ve hung with David Sanchez and I was actually close to beating him. Many thought that I was moments away from forcing him to tap out and that I would’ve been the one that beat Thomas Bates to become the United States champion and while the past is the past, I now know that I do have what it takes to counter that in ring intelligence of his.

He’s a crafty type of cunt for sure. Sort of reminds me of the asshole version of Howard Black. The key will be cutting off some of the usual tricks and making him improvise in a match that doesn’t allow much room for it. I can’t allow Lady Knives to come in and interfere in any sort of way that would throw me off and I’m not talking about any lame duck seduction tricks. I don’t find her to be all that so I won’t be prone to that kind of shit. The risk with her is that she has just as much experience in this game as he does, WCF just hasn’t seen it yet. I can’t just avoid her either. I have to pay just as much attention to her as I do to him.

Lady Knives reminds me of another person in this match, Celeste. Both of them have their way of trying to use their tits and charm as leverage and it’s pretty stupid of her to assume that everyone with a dick is dumb enough to just go with it in hopes that they’ll get a cheap lay out of it. My mind will be impenetrable I’m afraid. Go ahead and throw a temper tantrum at ringside when whatever you try to pull over on me doesn’t work out. I will not allow you to do anything that will give your hubby an unfair advantage over me. Even if you choose to enter the match right along with him, I’ll treat you just the same and fucking annihilate you.

David Sanchez can be a real cock stain, but he does make a surprisingly good champion. The frequent title defenses may be a way for him to stroke his own ego, but they are an honorable way to give opportunity to others either way. David, you’re an amazing wrestler, but I don’t see you being the last man standing. You’ve been very dominant, very impressive with that belt around your waist. You’ve been a fucking beast ever since you’ve started here, but that ego will be your downfall this week. Confidence is one thing, but this belief that you are a messiah of sorts, it will keep you from the win this time around. You will be faced with a challenge that is much more difficult than anything you’ve ever faced before and when you have that ego, you don’t have the right amount of time to adjust as people dish out more than you prepared for. By the time you do make those adjustments, you will already be beaten down and struggling to stay alive.

Petrov: Petrov still have many questions about who all these fucks are. Petrov has heard about beach crew but does not know of this Rico Rohass. Name sounds like stupid cartoon about tropical bird and he looks like Hunter Updegraff. Petrov does not understand this fuck. Why would beach crew keep around a guy who looks like man who got busted. Sounds like stupid idea to me.

Spencer: I don’t know a ton about Rico either, although it’s a shame that he didn’t get busted when Hunter did. From what I can see, he’s probably the most generic fucking member of the bunch and definitely the biggest fucking loser. I mean, Tiburones and Wade are the clear cut alphas of the group, Kyle Kemp even managed to finally turn into something, and Andre Aquarius..well...I’m pretty sure he just sits around and watches Friday while he gets baked and drinks warm beer, but still. Almost every other member of that stable has established themselves as someone important..except for Rico.

Rico talks a big game, but none of that talk means anything when you’re too distracted to win the type of match that many would think is a freebie. The match I’m referring to is his fatal four way match on the most recent Slam. All he had to take care of was Bad News Benson and that guy is fucking trash, Sandy Coconutz who I’m certain would just lay down and eat the pin in exchange for a dicking, and Dustin Beaver who’s the worst out of the bunch..but what did Mr. Rojas do? He was fucking around and pretty much just let Dustin Beaver take the match which in my opinion, isn’t any better than when Joey Flash thought it would be a good idea to let Adam Young get a win over him. Do that against me. Please. I’d love to see you get caught running your mouth so I can knock that dumbass haircut clean off the top of your head as I send you to the back.

Petrov: Now this Wade More. Why is he in match? Why would bossman put shitty version of Petrov in this but not Petrov himself? I am all original. This guy walk around acting like he is the killer of fucks like Scarecrow and people believe his bullshit words. Does he not know that Spencer’s stepdad is the biggest killer of fucks in entire federation? People like this make Petrov fucking sick.

Spencer: Here’s the thing with #BeachKrew. They can try to maintain this image that they are still a mystery, that we don’t already know that there is a more wicked side to them. I was able to figure out who they really were pretty quickly. I mean..they accepted Kyle Kemp as one their own. You can’t convince me that you’re not a douchebag when you associate yourselves with the like of fucking Kyle Kemp. Although with all that party boy bullshit they’re constantly carrying on with, it doesn’t surprise me that they’d become friends with an alcoholic narcissist like Kemp. The antidote is well aware that they are fucking psychos with intentions that are much worse than one would originally believe.

Wade Moor deserves a hellacious beating for the disrespect that he showed to Scarecrow. While me and Scarecrow weren’t best friends and didn’t really agree on every topic, I respect him for the great champion that he was and for Wade Moor to just come in and laugh in all of our faces during a week where we were trying to pay tribute to a fallen co-worker..well..it’s just fucking low. It goes far past disrespectful and is something that I won’t forget about, something that I’m not just gonna let him get away with. I won’t let Wade Moor get through the weekend without sending my fist through the front of his skull.

I think that some would call Wade Moor the leader of #BeachKrew and I can understand why they would think so. He’s just as much of a monster above the surface as Tiburones is under it. I’ve talked a lot about who the top targets are in this match and this entire collective body is priority number one. They are the one group who seem to be sticking by the idea of working together in the match and that could be a major problem. It’s them against us and they know it. I expect cheap tricks and the usual signs of disregard and disrespect for those around them. If they wanna play, I’ll play.

Go ahead and doggy paddle your ass over here, Wade. Memes won’t carry you in this like they will the internet title match. I’ll make you swallow those words along with mouthful after mouthful of salt water. I will smile while you splash around desperately, screaming for help long after I’ve already taken care of your friends. I want to bask in the glory of watching you fucking drown. The WAR match will be uncharted territory for you. Think of it as a desert island. I’m going to watch you starve, cry, and shiver...I will watch as your attempts at survival don’t work out the way you want them to. I learned long ago that to take down someone like you..I must truly embrace the most fucked up parts of my psyche. Your mind may be twisted, but you are still a fucking goosebumps book while the antidote is the deep web. Tell Coast Guard that I said good luck with finding your corpse, because it will be impossible to recover when it’s sitting on the ocean floor while your flesh waves around in the waters, barely clinging to the bone.

Petrov: So leader is Toblerones, yes?

Spencer: I don’t think they’re going to come right out and say that, but yes.

Petrov: Explain this fuck to me a bit more.

Spencer: Tiburones is like somebody put together the shittiest qualities in both Wade Moor and Kyle Kemp. He’s cocky, spoiled, and the biggest sociopath on the entire roster. I know I’ve been throwing that word around a fair bit with these competitors, but you will find nobody as bad as Los Tiburones. Something must have gone wrong with his upbringing. He comes off as very self absorbed with his gang of seapunk misfits. This is the kind of guy who clearly hasn’t had to work for anything that he has. He’s eternally trapped in this mindset where he has built up this disdain for his father as if he’s just the fucking worst. Mine actually was a piece of shit so I know the difference.

I know that this is just a case of a whiny spoiled rich kid, the kind of person who read Catcher in the Rye and felt as though he could really relate to everything that Holden Caulfield was going through. Much like Wade Moor, Los Tiburones is a monster in his own respect. Tiburones, you are literally everything that I hate in another human being. You are hitler youth with a touch of Elliot Rodger. The way that you view those around you is warped by your own fucked up head. You must have quite the imagination if you truly believe the things that you say to be the words of a sane human being. I think you’re a deeply disturbed individual, but I know that you don’t have real people problems. No, you’re the fucking spokesperson for white people problems.

The biggest thing that I have to say to you is to urge you to observe those around you. I smell trouble within your group and I don’t think that you know it’s coming. When you put together a group of people who struggle to care for anyone’s best interest other than their own, you have the recipe for a big fucking blow up. Thuggin puts you all in an order of who are his favorites and least favorites, Kyle Kemp is a fucking mess, Sandy Coconutz is the kind of slut to put you all on Springer, Wade Moor is like the weird kid that tortures small animals in the wooded area behind his family’s cabin, and then there is you, Jared, the one that will set it all off. Maybe it won’t be at WAR, maybe it won’t even happen this year, but you will turn on each other. It’s what happens when you have a union between people without the right amount of human compassion. Everything that #BeachKrew wants will create an internal conflict and it will tear the group apart at the worst possible time. If some of you really are as dark as you try to seem, then I will be the light that counteracts you all.

Since I’m so in the mood of talking about these stables, I wanna bring up one that I’m a bit more familiar with, the DRG. Everyone knows that little history with me in the DRG. I was a member for a long time before deciding that I wanted to go out on my own for awhile and get away from that stable setting and it looks like they’re approaching exactly what I always knew would happen with the group. The DRG once looked like such a dominant force, but have now turned to shit. Murdocks are in and out, Thomas Bates can’t win anything to save his fucking life, and you can clearly tell that Gemini Battle is just itching to move on from the whole thing.

What was the treatment for Spencer Adams when he informed the group that he was out? I think I was called a traitor and treated as if I didn’t have what it took. Jackson White was at least treated with some amount of respect, but not me. They basically spit in my fucking face as I was walking out the door. I was told that any success that I achieved was because of them, that they were the ones I had to thank, that I’d be nothing if it wasn’t for them. Now..let’s go over this a bit. The DRG wons trios, won a couple singles belts, and were doing pretty good..then I left. What was one of the first things that happened? Oh yeah..I won a fucking championship. Did I do it with their help? Nope. Did I look like a joke when I lifted Alex Richards onto my shoulders and sent him crashing to the mat for the win? Nope. The DRG certainly couldn’t do that and that’s part of why they lost those trios belts to Pantheon. Did I look like somebody who wasn’t shit on my own? No, I didn’t and I don’t now. I’ve taken the fight to each and every person I’ve faced and I’ve gotten better on my own, because of the work that I put in.

Looking at the group as a whole, I would have to say that Gemini is probably the coolest of the bunch. I can tell that like me, he just doesn’t exactly fit with that group anymore, maybe he never really did. I guess it was refreshing to have somebody in the group who didn’t totally fall into that trend of becoming little more than a reflection of Tommy’s Southern lifestyle. You see, what I really want for Gemini Battle is to see him succeed without having to worry about all that DRG business. Gemini is a weird dude and he’s certainly got his own problems, but surprisingly, he’s not as bad as the others.

Can you feel it yet, Gemini? Can you feel the foundation start to crumble? Everyone other than yourself and Bates are in and out because they obviously have zero fucking interest in being there. Look at Danny and Doug. Danny left for good reason after being nothing but loyal and taking a backseat in favor of basically everyone else. Doug is the one that I find funny. Where is Dougie at now? Is he on that list of WAR participants? No, he’s not and I find it laughable after the guy wanted to trash me and go on and on about loyalty and all this other bullshit before he even knew what he was a part of. Gemini, you know it’s shit and that it always was shit. The DRG is a glorified gang and you’re just sitting in the middle of it. I feel bad for you. You almost seem a bit trapped, but you’ve got to get it together with this WAR match approaching. The group is barely held together and it’s going to cost you if you don’t let it be known that Gemini Battle is officially done with the DRG.

Then we have Gonzo coming back, the guy who played hide and seek while the very empire that he helped build up fell apart. Did George know that his would happen? Is that why he left along with a trail of vague, near clues for his boys? Was he thinking “Well this group is ass, but here, you can have Doug “second best” Murdoch. Will that suffice?” It sure fucking didn’t, Gonzo. As much as Doug said he was, he wasn’t ever as much for the group as he thought. He was simply trying to fill the shoes of his hero brother while he was away and he couldn’t do it, because he just wasn’t as good as Gonzo and wasn’t the same guy that put in the work in the tournament. It wasn’t him that helped the DRG to the championship that would play a major part in defining them.

It was disappointing to see you leave when you did. I felt like for as much shit as everyone talked on me for leaving, it was weird that they didn’t take any of that frustration out on you. I mean you were the one who basically left your men out on the battlefield with a fucking hockey player as their number three. I don’t feel bad at all about the fact that the group has lost their asses in recent months. That championship wasn’t my responsibility and it wasn’t Doug’s either, it was yours, but you were MIA and now..now that the big loss is done and over with you will try to waltz back in like “Hay, doods! Gaznu is bekk!” That’s the part that really pisses me off and that’s why I’m sending you to the realm of obscurity along with the rest of your “brothers”.

Finally..the leader..the mountain..Thomas Bates. Bates is the one who brought me into that group and at this point, Bates is where a lot of the problem lies. I think that he’s just as much to blame for the shitting hitting the fan as any other member of the DRG. People often look at the DRG as being the Thomas Bates show, a band that is built to make Thomas Bates look better and maybe they’re right in thinking so, but that sort of thing won’t work now. Thomas Bates has dropped like a ton of bricks after enjoying more than his fair share of big wins. Not only is Thomas Bates failing to live up to the hype by losing these matches, but he’s failing to give legitimacy to the idea that he can be a leader of any group. I don’t think he could even lead the AoD to victory at this point.

I left for a few reasons. I wanted to kick it solo for awhile, I didn’t agree with what the group became, and I didn’t agree with Thomas Bates’ book of backward morals and double standards and I’m glad that Ieft when I did. I’m glad that I left before the black whole of suckage that is Thomas Bates and the DRG sucked me down right along with it. If I didn’t, who knows..I’d probably be left to team with fucking Caraid in next year’s trios tournament. I would say that me leaving proved that I was holding it together, but it wasn’t. It was only a matter of time before things took a turn for the worst.

Now, after all that, why hasn’t Tommy Bates even once gone back to the drawing board for a game plan that isn’t fucking shit or thought “Hmm...maybe letting hooligans like Mikey run around being fucking deplorable isn’t such a good idea. Maybe I should take a look in the mirror at the lashes on my own back before continuing on with thoughts of my superiority over the black man..” There you go, Bates. I got my obligatory “Bates hates negroes” line in there for ya. It’s true though, man. YOU are the one who is the real slave. You’re a slave to your own inability to adapt and progress in any way, you’re a slave to your own fucked up moral code, and you’re a slave to just about every person you go against these days. The Tommy Bates show has been reduced to nothing. The ratings are in the toilet and you’re STILL fucking oblivious. It’s nothing more than re-runs and soon, the network will cut you. If you don’t open your eyes, you will be the one who ends it all for yourself and if you’re still somehow hanging by a thread or two by the time WAR comes around, then I will not only be the one that puts the final nail in the coffin, but the one who puts the nail in the burning cross on your back. Oh..the irony.

Now why will Spencer Adams win WAR out of all of this? Because I having nothing holding me back, nothing to lose in this match. Unlike many others in this match, my personal problems don’t extend out into my in ring career in a way that will hinder my ability to win it all. WAR will leave scars on the soul of anyone brave enough to enter and I’m used to it. I’m a true veteran to the concept and carry with me more scars than any of you could ever imagine. I’m everyone’s worst fucking nightmare and I’m about to prove that this Sunday. I began to show you all this year and I’ll make the statement of a fucking lifetime in OKC. I am the cure, I am the antidote, and soon..I will stand above the rest as the man who survived WAR.

Petrov: Fading to black, yes?

Spencer: Dammit! I was trying to do a serious outro speech and you just had to mess it up. Come on, Petrov! You don’t have to ask me to fade to black, you can just do it when I stop talking.

Petrov: Petrov is your stepfather and you will show respect!

Spencer: Just...fade this shit out.

Stepfather: Petrov has uplifting Full House type of speech to stepson as camera fade out and shit.