Looking for feedback

[Riddlebox]

Looking for some feedback on my last rp. I felt it wasn't very good. I'm also lacking motivation with the whole riddlebox character. Any feedback and or advice would be appreciated!

[Teo Blaze]

I imagine that it's a very difficult character to write, given that half of his appeal comes from his mystique.

If I had to offer advice, it would be something along the lines of less is more. When shooting on an opponent, I imagine Riddlebox being either annoyed or amused at his opponent, kind of arrogantly dismissing them without saying how awesome he is. He would consider them beneath him, playthings at his disposal rather than opponents. He doesn't want to be world champion, he doesn't want to be undefeated, he wants to hurt people and he doesn't have to explain why. He's almost a force of nature in that he is above defining his motives or his desires, he simply does, and it's up to YOU to figure it out. Even if you do not know what is going on OOC, you play the character like he's a puppetmaster, everything going exactly how he wants it to, even when you lose.

I will also say this, while not impossible, I do find it very hard to picture Riddlebox as a champion, if only because it doesn't seem like Riddlebox would care about belts, he almost seems above them with the force of nature thing. Something to possibly consider long-term.

That's my criticisms, I do really enjoy the character and think he has alot of potential, but I would recommend a slow build more than a blowout, try and become independent of the win/loss record. Picture Riddlebox fighting hard, getting pinned, the other guy is up on the ropes celebrating, and Riddlebox slowly sits up, laughing, then claps his hands, applauding the other guy. The lights go out, and when they come back up, Riddlebox is gone. I get chills, man.

[Riddlebox]

Thanks