Post by jackhammer on Sept 15, 2006 0:54:05 GMT -5
Scene opens to JackHammer wearing a suit and Saber wearing his normal street clothes, JackHammer is holding a magnifying glass and Saber is standing their looking pissed}
Saber: You know, if you had just said “Creeping Death and Torture are punk b*tches” instead of driving all the way here, none of this . would have happened…
JackHammer: But what fun would that be?
Saber: We could be eating pizza and chicken wings, banging ho’s and you could be drinking beers…and banging Angel
JackHammer: When did I stop doing the latter?
Saber: You know, if you drank less, you would be better off I think?
JackHammer: Fu*k that, when I drink I am an omnipotent fountain of knowledge, power and strength. When I hit that bottle, my knowledge of wrestling flows forth into the streets and overflows to the normal folk.
Saber: That isn’t a fountain of knowledge, that is your piss…
JackHammer: Oh well… Regardless, I am fu#king cool, that is the point
Saber: That wasn’t your point retard?
JackHammer: Hmmm, well, it is a good point nonetheless…
Saber: Indeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed!
{JackHammer bends over to look at something on the ground, Saber spots something on the wall. It actually isn’t something, it is someone, a bum that no-one noticed}
Saber: Where the fu*k is the Japanese dude that was here with us…
Bum: The Blue Oyster club…
{JackHammer pops up and goes over to the guy…}
JackHammer: Saber let me handle the interrogation, I will get the information if I have to beat it out of him.
Saber: He gave me th…….
{JackHammer lands a firm fist into the stomach of the bum before Saber can finish what he said, the bum doubles over and repeats}
Bum: The Blue Oyster…
JackHammer: Got it, let’s go…
Saber: You are a dumb fu*king stupid idiot…
JackHammer: That was a redundancy…
Saber: Huh?
JackHammer: If you call me dumb, do you really need to call me stupid?
Saber: Listen here
{He pulls JackHammer in close and yells in his ear}
Saber:F*ck YOU!!!
JackHammer: Point taken
{The two walk around the corner and up a couple of blocks, they pass all sorts of scumbags on the way and JackHammer is puffing his chest out and basically walking like a jackass. They finally come upon the bar “The Blue Oyster”}
JackHammer: Let’s enter my good man…
{JackHammer steps in the door and immediately sees tons o’ gay men dancing with one another and frolicking in their homosexuality. JackHammer looks pissed}
JackHammer: Fuc*ing Bum…
Saber: Let’s get out of here…
{They start to leave but several gay men block their way, they are like hyenas on a dead carcass}
Man 1: Why in such a hurry to leave?
Man 2: Stick around handsome…
{JackHammer’s face turns red, he is obviously uncomfortable}
JackHammer: Fu*k you, and fu*k you too…
Saber: Not the best choice of words.
{JackHammer slaps his forehead}
Man 1: Don’t mind if I do…
{JackHammer grabs the dude by the forehead and pushes him backward. He crashes through a barstool and several people are starting to look pissed, suddenly we see Saber looking at a stage}
Saber: JackHammer, Look!!!
{As the gay men approach looking mad, they both notice random jap on the top of the stage dancing around JackHammer’s tires….}
JackHammer: Let’s save him, but we must fight their way…
{JackHammer lashes out a vicious slap and it knocks a man out of the way, Saber just starts pummeling random people as JackHammer slaps people and those slaps look like they hurt, believe that playa}
Saber: Jap, get over here…
{Jap jumps off the stage and runs to JackHammer}
Saber: Let’s get the fu*k out of here…
{JackHammer shakes his head with intent}
JackHammer: Not without my .*ing tires…
{He runs to the stage and grabs two of the tires, runs to the door dodging embraces, he then throws them outside, and heads back to the stage where he grabs a couple other tires and runs out the door, he uses one of the tires to bash a man in the head on the way out, the three run into the alleyway}
Saber: They are like rabid wolverines…
JackHammer: Let’s get these tires on the vehicle and get the fu*k home…
Jap: OSWWEEEEGOOOAAA!!!
JackHammer: No, fu*kin’ Chicago
Saber: Straight up
{They start going to the truck as the camera fades, JackHammer looks to be training as normal for his match, by beating up random defenseless people…}
Saber: You know, if you had just said “Creeping Death and Torture are punk b*tches” instead of driving all the way here, none of this . would have happened…
JackHammer: But what fun would that be?
Saber: We could be eating pizza and chicken wings, banging ho’s and you could be drinking beers…and banging Angel
JackHammer: When did I stop doing the latter?
Saber: You know, if you drank less, you would be better off I think?
JackHammer: Fu*k that, when I drink I am an omnipotent fountain of knowledge, power and strength. When I hit that bottle, my knowledge of wrestling flows forth into the streets and overflows to the normal folk.
Saber: That isn’t a fountain of knowledge, that is your piss…
JackHammer: Oh well… Regardless, I am fu#king cool, that is the point
Saber: That wasn’t your point retard?
JackHammer: Hmmm, well, it is a good point nonetheless…
Saber: Indeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed!
{JackHammer bends over to look at something on the ground, Saber spots something on the wall. It actually isn’t something, it is someone, a bum that no-one noticed}
Saber: Where the fu*k is the Japanese dude that was here with us…
Bum: The Blue Oyster club…
{JackHammer pops up and goes over to the guy…}
JackHammer: Saber let me handle the interrogation, I will get the information if I have to beat it out of him.
Saber: He gave me th…….
{JackHammer lands a firm fist into the stomach of the bum before Saber can finish what he said, the bum doubles over and repeats}
Bum: The Blue Oyster…
JackHammer: Got it, let’s go…
Saber: You are a dumb fu*king stupid idiot…
JackHammer: That was a redundancy…
Saber: Huh?
JackHammer: If you call me dumb, do you really need to call me stupid?
Saber: Listen here
{He pulls JackHammer in close and yells in his ear}
Saber:F*ck YOU!!!
JackHammer: Point taken
{The two walk around the corner and up a couple of blocks, they pass all sorts of scumbags on the way and JackHammer is puffing his chest out and basically walking like a jackass. They finally come upon the bar “The Blue Oyster”}
JackHammer: Let’s enter my good man…
{JackHammer steps in the door and immediately sees tons o’ gay men dancing with one another and frolicking in their homosexuality. JackHammer looks pissed}
JackHammer: Fuc*ing Bum…
Saber: Let’s get out of here…
{They start to leave but several gay men block their way, they are like hyenas on a dead carcass}
Man 1: Why in such a hurry to leave?
Man 2: Stick around handsome…
{JackHammer’s face turns red, he is obviously uncomfortable}
JackHammer: Fu*k you, and fu*k you too…
Saber: Not the best choice of words.
{JackHammer slaps his forehead}
Man 1: Don’t mind if I do…
{JackHammer grabs the dude by the forehead and pushes him backward. He crashes through a barstool and several people are starting to look pissed, suddenly we see Saber looking at a stage}
Saber: JackHammer, Look!!!
{As the gay men approach looking mad, they both notice random jap on the top of the stage dancing around JackHammer’s tires….}
JackHammer: Let’s save him, but we must fight their way…
{JackHammer lashes out a vicious slap and it knocks a man out of the way, Saber just starts pummeling random people as JackHammer slaps people and those slaps look like they hurt, believe that playa}
Saber: Jap, get over here…
{Jap jumps off the stage and runs to JackHammer}
Saber: Let’s get the fu*k out of here…
{JackHammer shakes his head with intent}
JackHammer: Not without my .*ing tires…
{He runs to the stage and grabs two of the tires, runs to the door dodging embraces, he then throws them outside, and heads back to the stage where he grabs a couple other tires and runs out the door, he uses one of the tires to bash a man in the head on the way out, the three run into the alleyway}
Saber: They are like rabid wolverines…
JackHammer: Let’s get these tires on the vehicle and get the fu*k home…
Jap: OSWWEEEEGOOOAAA!!!
JackHammer: No, fu*kin’ Chicago
Saber: Straight up
{They start going to the truck as the camera fades, JackHammer looks to be training as normal for his match, by beating up random defenseless people…}
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