Post by Lifeline on Mar 16, 2007 9:25:43 GMT -5
The scene comes to a news studio, where a globe is spinning with a spotlight on it. Someone in the background is trying to provide some cheesy news music, saying ‘dun dun dun dun da…’. The lights come up and Dylan Ryder and Jayden Sarek are sitting in two leather news chairs behind a news desk, grinning wildly.
Jayden: Good evening everyone. I’m Jayden Sarek-
Dylan: And I’m Dylan Ryder. Here’s what’s making news.
A graphic saying ‘MCE’ comes up on the news screen behind Dylan’s left shoulder.
DR: Our top story of the night – Creeping Death’s MCE Division of the WCF is rumoured to be under scrutiny from the Human Rights Association under claims that all of the wrestlers have names that sound like midget cartoon characters. Mr. Death was not available for comment but a hearing is scheduled for next week.
We go to Jayden and there is a radioactive sign on the news screen.
JS: A giant green ooze monster is loose in Tokyo City on a murderous rampage. Biohazard, professional wrestler, is currently located in America preparing for a Pay-Per-View event this weekend, but authorities are getting in contact to see if any of his relatives are in the Tokyo area.
The news screen goes to Dylan again, showing the word 'n00b'.
DR: More Creeping Death related news – the next so-called ‘Jobber Genocide’ victims have been leaked by an anonymous source – let’s call him S. Lerch. No, wait, that’s too conspicuous. Let’s say Seth L. instead. The names revealed were Matt Clark and Matthew Corral. Witness Protection is working on the case.
We cross back to Jayden, but no slide appears. Jayden holds his hand over his earpiece and nods.
JS: I’ve just received word that a fight is going on in a bar somewhere in whichever town we are currently in. It is being said that the brawl is xtreme and violent. Be reminded that the word xtreme has no ‘e’ in the front of it. Two men are said to have instigated the fight, although they only have initials instead of names. We now go to the sport desk with special guest Davey Ortega! Davey, I’m confused – which federation are you actually in? NCW or WCF?
We go to the sport desk where a puppet of Ortega is being used to represent him, and another one that looks suspiciously like Outcast is next to it.
“Ortega”: I… don’t know.
“Outcast”: I kill all of you! I’m People’s Champion! ARGH!!!
JS: That’s nice, Outcast. But we all know that belt means nothing.
Back to Dylan, and a pair of identical twins has appeared on the news screen.
DR: Reports have come in of a severe case of schizophrenia appearing in some athletes as of late. One example is professional wrestler Mike Ragnal, who is rumoured to either know or be other professional wrestler Joe Ragnal. The “Master of Elemental Disaster” and/or “Innovator of Fun” is said to be seeing a psychiatrist.
Back to Jayden, and a picture of Egypt is on the screen.
JS: Egypt is lodging complaints with American governments on the whereabouts of Bobby Cairo. They are said to be looking to sure him for misuse of a city name and associating their city with malicious offenses against lawnmowers.
DR: Do you think Egyptians use lawnmowers, Jayden?
JS: Probably not, Dylan.
The two laugh extremely corny and then go straight back to being serious.
DR: We’ll be right back with more, don’t go away!
To be continued!
Jayden: Good evening everyone. I’m Jayden Sarek-
Dylan: And I’m Dylan Ryder. Here’s what’s making news.
A graphic saying ‘MCE’ comes up on the news screen behind Dylan’s left shoulder.
DR: Our top story of the night – Creeping Death’s MCE Division of the WCF is rumoured to be under scrutiny from the Human Rights Association under claims that all of the wrestlers have names that sound like midget cartoon characters. Mr. Death was not available for comment but a hearing is scheduled for next week.
We go to Jayden and there is a radioactive sign on the news screen.
JS: A giant green ooze monster is loose in Tokyo City on a murderous rampage. Biohazard, professional wrestler, is currently located in America preparing for a Pay-Per-View event this weekend, but authorities are getting in contact to see if any of his relatives are in the Tokyo area.
The news screen goes to Dylan again, showing the word 'n00b'.
DR: More Creeping Death related news – the next so-called ‘Jobber Genocide’ victims have been leaked by an anonymous source – let’s call him S. Lerch. No, wait, that’s too conspicuous. Let’s say Seth L. instead. The names revealed were Matt Clark and Matthew Corral. Witness Protection is working on the case.
We cross back to Jayden, but no slide appears. Jayden holds his hand over his earpiece and nods.
JS: I’ve just received word that a fight is going on in a bar somewhere in whichever town we are currently in. It is being said that the brawl is xtreme and violent. Be reminded that the word xtreme has no ‘e’ in the front of it. Two men are said to have instigated the fight, although they only have initials instead of names. We now go to the sport desk with special guest Davey Ortega! Davey, I’m confused – which federation are you actually in? NCW or WCF?
We go to the sport desk where a puppet of Ortega is being used to represent him, and another one that looks suspiciously like Outcast is next to it.
“Ortega”: I… don’t know.
“Outcast”: I kill all of you! I’m People’s Champion! ARGH!!!
JS: That’s nice, Outcast. But we all know that belt means nothing.
Back to Dylan, and a pair of identical twins has appeared on the news screen.
DR: Reports have come in of a severe case of schizophrenia appearing in some athletes as of late. One example is professional wrestler Mike Ragnal, who is rumoured to either know or be other professional wrestler Joe Ragnal. The “Master of Elemental Disaster” and/or “Innovator of Fun” is said to be seeing a psychiatrist.
Back to Jayden, and a picture of Egypt is on the screen.
JS: Egypt is lodging complaints with American governments on the whereabouts of Bobby Cairo. They are said to be looking to sure him for misuse of a city name and associating their city with malicious offenses against lawnmowers.
DR: Do you think Egyptians use lawnmowers, Jayden?
JS: Probably not, Dylan.
The two laugh extremely corny and then go straight back to being serious.
DR: We’ll be right back with more, don’t go away!
To be continued!
