Post by jackhammer on Sept 22, 2006 17:12:20 GMT -5
{Scene opens to Chino and JackHammer walking out of the gym. JackHammer is wearing
his workout clothes and Chino wears a pair of Jeans, a Devastation Inc. t-shirt and
a wool cap. The weather has changed and winter is in the air. You can
see the breath come from JackHammer’s mouth as he starts towards his truck…
Chino looks on in amazement.}
Chino: Woah, you got a new truck. Why did you buy a new truck?
JackHammer: Because I can, I just got this the other day. Dodge was so happy
with the promoting I had done, that they sent me one of these bad boys.
Wait until you feel the balls that this mother packs…
Chino: It can’t be faster then the Hemi… What is this the new Hemi?
JackHammer: No way buddy, This is the new Dodge Ram SRT-10…
Chino: Ok, that means nothing to me…
JackHammer: It is a Dodge Ram with the same type of an engine they put in their
viper. 500 horsies under the hood of this mother fu*ker, not to mention
the fact that it goes about 150 at top speed, and zero to sixty in 5
seconds.
Chino: A truck?
JackHammer: Indeed, want to take my truck…
{He pushes JackHammer and snatches the keys from him}
Chino: Fu*k you, I am going to drive you dumb son of a b#tch…
JackHammer: Cool. Don’t mess her up thought. I am getting her detailed this
afternoon. Let’s just cruise to the shop and get it taken care of now.
We are heading to Syracuse, take the Great Northern Mall exit….
Chino: Yeah…
{Chino steps into the cab and fires up the engine, she purrs, sounds
real perty. JackHammer gets into his seat buckles up and Chino pops the pedal
to the floor. The truck takes off at an amazing speed burning up the
asphalt behind him. The rubber screeches against the pavement like a
owl attacking it’s prey. You see Chino shift and they are driving way
to fast in the city}
JackHammer: Hey, baglicker. Be careful.
Chino: I am the master of my domain…
JackHammer: You are going to be the master of getting my foot shoved up your
ass so far that you will taste the dog shit I stepped in this morning.
Chino: You think of the stupidest things
JackHammer: Thanks…but not as bad as the Sick Individuals.
{Chino takes a hard left around a corner and the back end slides out on
the wet roads, he smiles and JackHammer looks like he is about to shit a brick}
JackHammer: If you hurt this truck, I am going to beat you senseless with your
own detached arm. And Torture won't have to be as scared.
Chino: My arm isn’t detached
JackHammer: It will be…
{Chino laughs as he cruises over a bridge. He goes up the road takes a
hard right, the handling of this truck is exceptional. Chino goes up a
road, takes a wide left and pulls into his apartment in Oswego.}
JackHammer: Maybe you didn’t hear me you fuc*ing jackas*. I said we are going
to get this truck detailed and shit…
Chino: I thought you might want to change out of your “Look at me I am a
touch jacked son of a bit*h” clothes
JackHammer: Cool, got any food?
Chino: Yeah…
{The two walk into the apartment building}
JackHammer: Why do you rent this place? Why not buy it?
Chino: I don’t know…
JackHammer: I do…
Chino: Why:
JackHammer: Quite frankly it is because you are a fu*king retarded idiot.
{He laughs at his own joke which was not funny in the least bit. They
enter Chino’s apartment and JackHammer immediately goes to the fridge where he
grabs about a pound of ham and a loaf of bread, He puts a piece of bread
down, the pound of ham and then tops it off with some mustard. He then
begins to eat the ridiculously oversized sandwich}
Chino: Did you find something?
JackHammer: Yeah a fuc*ing ham sandwich…
{Chino looks nervous}
Chino: Dude that ham has been in the fridge for months…
JackHammer: Hmmm….
{he looks at the sandwich and smells it. Then he takes a step away from
the fridge, plants his ass on the couch and continues to eat it}
JackHammer: Smell’s fine…
Chino: It’s your stomach moron…you just better be ready for your match.
{Chino walks into the other room as JackHammer eats the sandwich, bits of bread
fall onto his chest and he scratches his balls to make this picture
complete}
JackHammer: This sandwich is pretty good…and don't worry I will be ready to defend the tag titles with Z.
{Suddenly Chino comes at JackHammer with a Savate Kick hitting JackHammer square in
the chest and knocking the couch over backwards.}
Chino: Ha, I got ya…
{JackHammer is dazed then sits up, picks the couch and takes another bite of
the sandwich before his rebuttal}
JackHammer: What the fu*k was that?
Chino: the Chino Kick…a new move might use against Torture
JackHammer: I know that, but why was it the Chino kick?
Chino: Well, remember when we were younger and we wrestled in that
backyard federation?
JackHammer: Yeah…
{Chino grabs a remote and pushes play. We see a young Chino wrestling
some other scrub that is horrible is some fat ass’ yard. We see Chino
knock his opponent down and then walk over to a guy with a bag of
Doritos.}
Dorito Guy: Hey want one?
Chino: Sure…
{Chino takes a Dorito and stuffs it into his mouth crunching away on the
nacho cheese goodness.}
Chino: This is pretty good…
{He then gives the kid in the chair a superkick. Back in the real world
JackHammer is laughing so loud it is obnoxious.}
JackHammer: I remember that, that was fuc*ing classic. Just like the ppv will be when we destory our opponets.
Chino: I know
{All of the sudden JackHammer’s expression changes…
JackHammer: Oh shit….
{he stands up}
Chino: What?
JackHammer: I said oh shit dickhead, what do you think?
Chino: I told you that ham was bad…
{JackHammer rushes to the bathroom and closes the door. You hear sounds coming
from the bathroom that would made the Japanese bombing at Pearl Harbor
sound like ants marching in. This is something that you want nothing to
do with, so… You change the channel}
his workout clothes and Chino wears a pair of Jeans, a Devastation Inc. t-shirt and
a wool cap. The weather has changed and winter is in the air. You can
see the breath come from JackHammer’s mouth as he starts towards his truck…
Chino looks on in amazement.}
Chino: Woah, you got a new truck. Why did you buy a new truck?
JackHammer: Because I can, I just got this the other day. Dodge was so happy
with the promoting I had done, that they sent me one of these bad boys.
Wait until you feel the balls that this mother packs…
Chino: It can’t be faster then the Hemi… What is this the new Hemi?
JackHammer: No way buddy, This is the new Dodge Ram SRT-10…
Chino: Ok, that means nothing to me…
JackHammer: It is a Dodge Ram with the same type of an engine they put in their
viper. 500 horsies under the hood of this mother fu*ker, not to mention
the fact that it goes about 150 at top speed, and zero to sixty in 5
seconds.
Chino: A truck?
JackHammer: Indeed, want to take my truck…
{He pushes JackHammer and snatches the keys from him}
Chino: Fu*k you, I am going to drive you dumb son of a b#tch…
JackHammer: Cool. Don’t mess her up thought. I am getting her detailed this
afternoon. Let’s just cruise to the shop and get it taken care of now.
We are heading to Syracuse, take the Great Northern Mall exit….
Chino: Yeah…
{Chino steps into the cab and fires up the engine, she purrs, sounds
real perty. JackHammer gets into his seat buckles up and Chino pops the pedal
to the floor. The truck takes off at an amazing speed burning up the
asphalt behind him. The rubber screeches against the pavement like a
owl attacking it’s prey. You see Chino shift and they are driving way
to fast in the city}
JackHammer: Hey, baglicker. Be careful.
Chino: I am the master of my domain…
JackHammer: You are going to be the master of getting my foot shoved up your
ass so far that you will taste the dog shit I stepped in this morning.
Chino: You think of the stupidest things
JackHammer: Thanks…but not as bad as the Sick Individuals.
{Chino takes a hard left around a corner and the back end slides out on
the wet roads, he smiles and JackHammer looks like he is about to shit a brick}
JackHammer: If you hurt this truck, I am going to beat you senseless with your
own detached arm. And Torture won't have to be as scared.
Chino: My arm isn’t detached
JackHammer: It will be…
{Chino laughs as he cruises over a bridge. He goes up the road takes a
hard right, the handling of this truck is exceptional. Chino goes up a
road, takes a wide left and pulls into his apartment in Oswego.}
JackHammer: Maybe you didn’t hear me you fuc*ing jackas*. I said we are going
to get this truck detailed and shit…
Chino: I thought you might want to change out of your “Look at me I am a
touch jacked son of a bit*h” clothes
JackHammer: Cool, got any food?
Chino: Yeah…
{The two walk into the apartment building}
JackHammer: Why do you rent this place? Why not buy it?
Chino: I don’t know…
JackHammer: I do…
Chino: Why:
JackHammer: Quite frankly it is because you are a fu*king retarded idiot.
{He laughs at his own joke which was not funny in the least bit. They
enter Chino’s apartment and JackHammer immediately goes to the fridge where he
grabs about a pound of ham and a loaf of bread, He puts a piece of bread
down, the pound of ham and then tops it off with some mustard. He then
begins to eat the ridiculously oversized sandwich}
Chino: Did you find something?
JackHammer: Yeah a fuc*ing ham sandwich…
{Chino looks nervous}
Chino: Dude that ham has been in the fridge for months…
JackHammer: Hmmm….
{he looks at the sandwich and smells it. Then he takes a step away from
the fridge, plants his ass on the couch and continues to eat it}
JackHammer: Smell’s fine…
Chino: It’s your stomach moron…you just better be ready for your match.
{Chino walks into the other room as JackHammer eats the sandwich, bits of bread
fall onto his chest and he scratches his balls to make this picture
complete}
JackHammer: This sandwich is pretty good…and don't worry I will be ready to defend the tag titles with Z.
{Suddenly Chino comes at JackHammer with a Savate Kick hitting JackHammer square in
the chest and knocking the couch over backwards.}
Chino: Ha, I got ya…
{JackHammer is dazed then sits up, picks the couch and takes another bite of
the sandwich before his rebuttal}
JackHammer: What the fu*k was that?
Chino: the Chino Kick…a new move might use against Torture
JackHammer: I know that, but why was it the Chino kick?
Chino: Well, remember when we were younger and we wrestled in that
backyard federation?
JackHammer: Yeah…
{Chino grabs a remote and pushes play. We see a young Chino wrestling
some other scrub that is horrible is some fat ass’ yard. We see Chino
knock his opponent down and then walk over to a guy with a bag of
Doritos.}
Dorito Guy: Hey want one?
Chino: Sure…
{Chino takes a Dorito and stuffs it into his mouth crunching away on the
nacho cheese goodness.}
Chino: This is pretty good…
{He then gives the kid in the chair a superkick. Back in the real world
JackHammer is laughing so loud it is obnoxious.}
JackHammer: I remember that, that was fuc*ing classic. Just like the ppv will be when we destory our opponets.
Chino: I know
{All of the sudden JackHammer’s expression changes…
JackHammer: Oh shit….
{he stands up}
Chino: What?
JackHammer: I said oh shit dickhead, what do you think?
Chino: I told you that ham was bad…
{JackHammer rushes to the bathroom and closes the door. You hear sounds coming
from the bathroom that would made the Japanese bombing at Pearl Harbor
sound like ants marching in. This is something that you want nothing to
do with, so… You change the channel}
tags