Post by Deleted on Feb 11, 2007 14:17:56 GMT -5
(Hank Brown and Bobby Cairo are standing in the backstage area, the WCF logo is featured prominently on the wall behind them. Hank is dressed in his trademark suit and tie with his microphone in hand, waiting to begin the interview. Cairo's hair is tied back into a ponytail and he's wearing a WCF t-shirt, his wrestling tights and boots. The bandages that had been covering Cairo's forehead are no longer there, revealing abrasions that have not yet fully healed in the two weeks since Lawnmower Jones' attack. The director counts down and then signals for Hank to start the interview.)
Hank Brown: "Ladies and gentlemen, I'm Hank Brown standing by with Bobby Cairo. Bobby, everybody has been talking about the ending of last week's match where you seemingly abandoned your tag team partner Conrad Howell and allowed him to fall prey to Lawnmower Jones. What exactly happened out there?"
Bobby Cairo: "What happened? I overestimated the ability of Conrad Howell, that's what happened. I thought he could handle himself inside a wrestling ring and obviously I was wrong. Oh well, it's no big loss as far as I'm concerned."
(Hank has a confused look on his face as he listens to Cairo's remarks.)
Hank Brown: "Bobby, you're teaming with Conrad Howell again tonight. Don't you think there could be some animosity between the two of you?"
Bobby Cairo: "I'm sure there will be animosity, Hank. But then again there's also animosity between Howell and Biggs. There's animosity between Outcast and Avery. And there's damn sure animosity between myself and Lawnmower Jones!"
Hank Brown: "Speaking of which, this feud between you and Jones doesn't show any sign of slowing down. It's only been two weeks since your return at One and the two of you have already begun tearing WCF apart. Jones is determined to get Lonnie back and you seem determined to avenge the attack that you suffered at the hands of Jones. Where do you go from here?"
Bobby Cairo: "Let me address that question with a preface, Hank. Through the course of wrestling history we've seen some pretty crappy moments inside of the squared circle. We've seen David Arquette win the WCW World Title. We've seen The Undertaker's Wife pin Diamond Dallas Page. We've seen The Big Bossman battle Al Snow in a Kennel in A Cell match. However none of those individual embarrassments compare to the stain that Lawnmower Jones has left on the face of this great sport. In spite of that I've had fans walk up to me and ask me, 'Gee whiz, Bobby, aren't you being a bit harsh toward Lawnmower Jones? Hasn't he suffered enough? Don't you think it's time to end the insanity and give Lonnie back to Jones?' Now let's think about this for a moment. Lawnmower Jones attempted to kill me and left me lying on the ground in a pool of my own blood. If I sealed his feet in a pair of cement blocks and dropped him in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean that still wouldn't quite make us even as far as I'm concerned. Getting back to your question, Hank, Jones dug his own grave and his demise will be as agonized and tormented as humanly possible. I will push Jones to the edge of sanity. I will drag him to Hell and back. I will break him down until he's nothing more than a terrorized shell of a human being, frozen by his own fear. And if you think that's bad, you just wait until you see what I have in store for Chris Avery. That son of a bitch cut in front of me in line at the cafeteria on sloppy joe day!"
Hank Brown: "Ladies and gentlemen, Bobby Cairo sending a strong message to his opponents--"
Bobby Cairo: "Hank, I have another surprise for you."
Hank Brown: "I'm still getting over last week's surprise, Bobby. Hehehehahahah!"
Bobby Cairo: "This week's surprise is even better, Hank. I was watching Full House on Nick at Night and I saw that Danny Tanner was trying to get his little daughter Michelle to ride Quacky the Mechanical Duck. Michelle refused because she felt that she was a big girl and big girls don't ride mechanical ducks. I say that's a bunch of baloney! Not only do big girls ride mechanical ducks but so do grown men!"
Hank Brown: "Am I going to ride on a mechanical duck, Bobby?"
Bobby Cairo: "Not quite, Hank. I couldn't find any mechanical ducks, but I got the next best thing. Guys, bring him in here!"
(A couple of guys wearing blue coveralls wheel in a large object covered by a white sheet. Cairo walks over and pulls off the sheet, revealing a large mechanical crocodile with handlebars and a coin slot on the side.)
Bobby Cairo: "Ta-dah! It's Wendell the Mechanical Crocodile!"
Hank Brown: "Wow, Bobby, that's...that's really something."
(The two worker guys plug Wendell into a nearby electrical socket.)
Bobby Cairo: "But ain't it?! Come on, Hank, hop on! Let's go for a ride on Wendell!"
(Cairo takes a seat on Wendell and motions for Hank to join him.)
Hank Brown: "Oh, I really don't think I should...I just had a big meal at lunch!"
(Cairo’s face turns from a smile to a frown.)
Bobby Cairo: "Hank, I went through a lot of effort to put this together for you and I really don't want to have to get physical just hours before my big match tonight, so get on the damn mechanical crocodile!"
(Hank reluctantly walks over to Wendell and takes a seat behind Cairo. Cairo drops a quarter into the coin slot and Wendell immediately begins gyrating about.)
Bobby Cairo: "Wee-hah! Isn't this fun, Hank?"
(Hank just sits there silently with an incredulous look on his face as the director yells "Cut!")
Hank Brown: "Ladies and gentlemen, I'm Hank Brown standing by with Bobby Cairo. Bobby, everybody has been talking about the ending of last week's match where you seemingly abandoned your tag team partner Conrad Howell and allowed him to fall prey to Lawnmower Jones. What exactly happened out there?"
Bobby Cairo: "What happened? I overestimated the ability of Conrad Howell, that's what happened. I thought he could handle himself inside a wrestling ring and obviously I was wrong. Oh well, it's no big loss as far as I'm concerned."
(Hank has a confused look on his face as he listens to Cairo's remarks.)
Hank Brown: "Bobby, you're teaming with Conrad Howell again tonight. Don't you think there could be some animosity between the two of you?"
Bobby Cairo: "I'm sure there will be animosity, Hank. But then again there's also animosity between Howell and Biggs. There's animosity between Outcast and Avery. And there's damn sure animosity between myself and Lawnmower Jones!"
Hank Brown: "Speaking of which, this feud between you and Jones doesn't show any sign of slowing down. It's only been two weeks since your return at One and the two of you have already begun tearing WCF apart. Jones is determined to get Lonnie back and you seem determined to avenge the attack that you suffered at the hands of Jones. Where do you go from here?"
Bobby Cairo: "Let me address that question with a preface, Hank. Through the course of wrestling history we've seen some pretty crappy moments inside of the squared circle. We've seen David Arquette win the WCW World Title. We've seen The Undertaker's Wife pin Diamond Dallas Page. We've seen The Big Bossman battle Al Snow in a Kennel in A Cell match. However none of those individual embarrassments compare to the stain that Lawnmower Jones has left on the face of this great sport. In spite of that I've had fans walk up to me and ask me, 'Gee whiz, Bobby, aren't you being a bit harsh toward Lawnmower Jones? Hasn't he suffered enough? Don't you think it's time to end the insanity and give Lonnie back to Jones?' Now let's think about this for a moment. Lawnmower Jones attempted to kill me and left me lying on the ground in a pool of my own blood. If I sealed his feet in a pair of cement blocks and dropped him in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean that still wouldn't quite make us even as far as I'm concerned. Getting back to your question, Hank, Jones dug his own grave and his demise will be as agonized and tormented as humanly possible. I will push Jones to the edge of sanity. I will drag him to Hell and back. I will break him down until he's nothing more than a terrorized shell of a human being, frozen by his own fear. And if you think that's bad, you just wait until you see what I have in store for Chris Avery. That son of a bitch cut in front of me in line at the cafeteria on sloppy joe day!"
Hank Brown: "Ladies and gentlemen, Bobby Cairo sending a strong message to his opponents--"
Bobby Cairo: "Hank, I have another surprise for you."
Hank Brown: "I'm still getting over last week's surprise, Bobby. Hehehehahahah!"
Bobby Cairo: "This week's surprise is even better, Hank. I was watching Full House on Nick at Night and I saw that Danny Tanner was trying to get his little daughter Michelle to ride Quacky the Mechanical Duck. Michelle refused because she felt that she was a big girl and big girls don't ride mechanical ducks. I say that's a bunch of baloney! Not only do big girls ride mechanical ducks but so do grown men!"
Hank Brown: "Am I going to ride on a mechanical duck, Bobby?"
Bobby Cairo: "Not quite, Hank. I couldn't find any mechanical ducks, but I got the next best thing. Guys, bring him in here!"
(A couple of guys wearing blue coveralls wheel in a large object covered by a white sheet. Cairo walks over and pulls off the sheet, revealing a large mechanical crocodile with handlebars and a coin slot on the side.)
Bobby Cairo: "Ta-dah! It's Wendell the Mechanical Crocodile!"
Hank Brown: "Wow, Bobby, that's...that's really something."
(The two worker guys plug Wendell into a nearby electrical socket.)
Bobby Cairo: "But ain't it?! Come on, Hank, hop on! Let's go for a ride on Wendell!"
(Cairo takes a seat on Wendell and motions for Hank to join him.)
Hank Brown: "Oh, I really don't think I should...I just had a big meal at lunch!"
(Cairo’s face turns from a smile to a frown.)
Bobby Cairo: "Hank, I went through a lot of effort to put this together for you and I really don't want to have to get physical just hours before my big match tonight, so get on the damn mechanical crocodile!"
(Hank reluctantly walks over to Wendell and takes a seat behind Cairo. Cairo drops a quarter into the coin slot and Wendell immediately begins gyrating about.)
Bobby Cairo: "Wee-hah! Isn't this fun, Hank?"
(Hank just sits there silently with an incredulous look on his face as the director yells "Cut!")
