Post by Steve Catt on Apr 2, 2007 19:10:31 GMT -5
:::Fade in to a parking lot. The camera is apparently shoulder-mounted as our point of view is shakily moving forwards. A man is straight ahead with his back turned to the camera. As the cameraperson approaches, we can see that it is Merc, carrying a plastic shopping bag in each hand and signing to the tune of "Sweet Child O' Mine".:::
Merc: Where did I park...where did I park now, where did I park...da da da, da, da, where did I park...oh where did I park now...
:::Suddenly, he turns around and sees a camera in his face.:::
Merc: Gahh!
:::He takes a keychain off his belt and throws it at the cameraperson...who are we kidding? CameraMAN.:::
Cameraman: Ow! What was that for? You asked me to be here!
Merc: Sorry, force of habit. I used to keep my ninja smoke bombs there.
:::He walks over and picks his keys off the ground.:::
Merc: You shouldn't sneak up on me like that--
:::He seems to see something out of the corner of his eye.:::
Merc: ...after all, what goes around comes around.
:::He hits a button on his keyring and a car alarm goes off right next to them. The camerman jumps, almost dropping the camera.:::
Merc: Ha, if it were a snake it would have bit us. Not good. That hurts.
Cameraman: I have a few questions from Mr. Brown.
Merc: Well, if he had questions he should have come along. Whatever. We'll walk and talk.
:::Merc walks over to the car and pops the trunk.:::
Cameraman: Why weren't you involved in any of the Team NCW matches on Sunday?
:::Merc puts the bags in the trunk, then stands with his hands against the opened trunk.:::
Merc: Rick Mad. I don't know why he's here. I don't trust him. Outcast. He needs to win some of his own battles. I'm here as an advisor, not to win the war by myself. Honestly, those matches weren't very important, but you better believe I'm going to be there at Blast. I had other business to take care of, and that brings us to why we're here today.
:::Long silence.:::
Cameraman: Why are we here today?
Merc: Thank you! That wasn't so hard, was it?
:::He shuts the trunk and opens the passenger door. He pulls some papers out, shuts the door and locks the car. They walk back towards the store.:::
Merc: When I was doing mercenary work, I was a subcontractor. I worked for an organization that did all the administrative stuff for me. Finances, all that. I don't have that here, so I had to take care of some of that this past week. Like I said, nothing important happened in the meantime, but that's not always going to be the case. I need...an assistant.
:::They stop in front of the store. Merc tapes one of his papers on the window. It reads:
Administrative Assistant Needed
Contact Info Below
No Secretaries:::
Cameraman: No secretaries? Aren't secretaries and administrative assistants the same thing?
Merc: Look, this was the closest I could get to saying "No Women" without sounding discriminatory or gay.
Cameraman: No women?
Merc: Lesson number sixty-four taughty by the Rocky movies. They make the legs weak. Seems like a lot of WCF wrestlers haven't learned that one.
:::Suddenly, one of the store's teenage employees bursts out of the door, or at least bursts as much as one can through a door that opens automatically. He has messy hair, a face covered with pimples and speaks in a squeaky, cracking voice.:::
Employee: Hey! You can't post that there!
Merc: Well then, how about I post it on your face?
Employee: Um...I'll have to ask my manager.
Merc: Forget it, we'll go to the dollar store across the street. They're closing down anyway; what do they care?
Employee: Be sure to come back this weekend for our three-day sale!
:::He goes back inside the store and our protaganists start to walk away.:::
Merc: I could never stand having a job like that guy's.
:::Fade out:::
Merc: Where did I park...where did I park now, where did I park...da da da, da, da, where did I park...oh where did I park now...
:::Suddenly, he turns around and sees a camera in his face.:::
Merc: Gahh!
:::He takes a keychain off his belt and throws it at the cameraperson...who are we kidding? CameraMAN.:::
Cameraman: Ow! What was that for? You asked me to be here!
Merc: Sorry, force of habit. I used to keep my ninja smoke bombs there.
:::He walks over and picks his keys off the ground.:::
Merc: You shouldn't sneak up on me like that--
:::He seems to see something out of the corner of his eye.:::
Merc: ...after all, what goes around comes around.
:::He hits a button on his keyring and a car alarm goes off right next to them. The camerman jumps, almost dropping the camera.:::
Merc: Ha, if it were a snake it would have bit us. Not good. That hurts.
Cameraman: I have a few questions from Mr. Brown.
Merc: Well, if he had questions he should have come along. Whatever. We'll walk and talk.
:::Merc walks over to the car and pops the trunk.:::
Cameraman: Why weren't you involved in any of the Team NCW matches on Sunday?
:::Merc puts the bags in the trunk, then stands with his hands against the opened trunk.:::
Merc: Rick Mad. I don't know why he's here. I don't trust him. Outcast. He needs to win some of his own battles. I'm here as an advisor, not to win the war by myself. Honestly, those matches weren't very important, but you better believe I'm going to be there at Blast. I had other business to take care of, and that brings us to why we're here today.
:::Long silence.:::
Cameraman: Why are we here today?
Merc: Thank you! That wasn't so hard, was it?
:::He shuts the trunk and opens the passenger door. He pulls some papers out, shuts the door and locks the car. They walk back towards the store.:::
Merc: When I was doing mercenary work, I was a subcontractor. I worked for an organization that did all the administrative stuff for me. Finances, all that. I don't have that here, so I had to take care of some of that this past week. Like I said, nothing important happened in the meantime, but that's not always going to be the case. I need...an assistant.
:::They stop in front of the store. Merc tapes one of his papers on the window. It reads:
Administrative Assistant Needed
Contact Info Below
No Secretaries:::
Cameraman: No secretaries? Aren't secretaries and administrative assistants the same thing?
Merc: Look, this was the closest I could get to saying "No Women" without sounding discriminatory or gay.
Cameraman: No women?
Merc: Lesson number sixty-four taughty by the Rocky movies. They make the legs weak. Seems like a lot of WCF wrestlers haven't learned that one.
:::Suddenly, one of the store's teenage employees bursts out of the door, or at least bursts as much as one can through a door that opens automatically. He has messy hair, a face covered with pimples and speaks in a squeaky, cracking voice.:::
Employee: Hey! You can't post that there!
Merc: Well then, how about I post it on your face?
Employee: Um...I'll have to ask my manager.
Merc: Forget it, we'll go to the dollar store across the street. They're closing down anyway; what do they care?
Employee: Be sure to come back this weekend for our three-day sale!
:::He goes back inside the store and our protaganists start to walk away.:::
Merc: I could never stand having a job like that guy's.
:::Fade out:::
